More Questions on Success, Life, and Choice

“Maturity is when you stop complaining and making excuses, and start making changes.”

-- Roy T. Bennett

What is your definition of success, and what are your chances of succeeding?

I am happy always, therefore, I have attained success. Being successful is choosing to be happy regardless of your other circumstances. One should always strive for happiness… because the alternative simply sucks!

What is the greatest risk in life?

Death. 

What's the definition of 'a successful life' you'd say most Americans have?

Making enough money to live a comfortable lifestyle, which is sad because happiness should be a bigger part of life, not money.

“He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much;

Who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men and the love of little children;

Who has filled his niche and accomplished his task;

Who has never lacked appreciation of Earth's beauty or failed to express it;

Who has left the world better than he found it,

Whether an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul;

Who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he had;

Whose life was an inspiration;

Whose memory a benediction.”

-- Bessie Anderson Stanley

What do you want when you grow up, and what are your plans for next year?

I’ll be 68 soon, and I have no intention of “growing up” in the near future. My plans for next year are to continue taking care of my mother, drinking bourbon, smoking an occasional cigar, fishing more than I did this year, and continuing to be a thorn in the side of members of the League of the Perpetually Offended. It kind of sounds like a plan that I may take into the next several years, at least.

Do people who have a "cross that bridge when we come to it" mindset generally live better lives?

It’s more about sticking to a plan and not starting in on crap better left for a better time. But, yes, people that cross bridges when they come to them tend to live less complicated lives than those who constantly put something in front of another when they really don’t have to. It makes life more complicated than taking things as they come. 

What distinguishes contentment from resignation?

Are you choosing to resign yourself in order to be content? Resignation is stopping or quitting, while contentment is “a state of happiness and satisfaction” which can be viewed as a success, for some of us. I view one as an emotional state while the other as a conscious action or choice.

"We are all resigned to death: it's life we aren't resigned to.”

-- Graham Greene

What is a trait that everyone should have in working life to make your life easier?

Happiness in your work. If you aren’t happy doing what you do, life will probably be harder. Strive to be happy always. It is a personal choice. If one finds it hard to be happy always, perhaps one needs to make another, better, choice. 

How would you define love in comparison with hatred?

Both are emotions, and both can eat you alive. Both can be felt at the same time or separately. One can be viewed as bad, while the other is really bad. I loved my wife but hated her for what she did to me. To move forward I had to let the hate go and accept the apology I knew I was never going to get.

Is it true that bad things come fast whereas good things take time even if you work hard at them?

It takes time to create art, yet it only takes a moment to destroy it. You can take the time to learn about the one you love, or you can just jump in and marry the insane bitch. Most of the good things we do take some time. Being bad doesn’t really require much thought.

"When things don't happen right away, just remember: It takes 6months to build a Rolls-Royce and 13 hours to build a Toyota."

-- Unknown

Is there something you would like to learn or change in your life?

Algebra, Geometry, and Calculus. Math scares the crap out of me more than theoretical physics.

Why are people unhappy in life?

Life hasn’t been kind to them? Life can be tough, especially for children for whom it certainly should never be. I think that most of us don’t know, or don’t care to learn, how to put our misery behind us and move forward.

Happiness is a choice and, because of what is happening or had happened in life, they feel this choice of happiness is a non-starter. I’ve found that just bringing up the concept of happiness can be offensive to some who have gone, or are going, through hell.

What do you find easier, work hard or work smart?

Working smarter is usually easier than working harder, which is why they call it working smarter.

“Work hard, and you will earn good rewards.

Work smart, and you will earn great rewards.

Work hard and work smart, and you will earn extraordinary rewards.”

-- Matshona Dhliwayo

What makes you decide to give life another chance?

Because thinking of the alternative is simply not an option. Every day on this side of the dirt is another chance for life to be better than the day before. Strive to be happy always!

Is there something bothering you?

Questions like this, but I quickly answer them and move on. 

Is a man’s life over after the age of 35?

It certainly wasn’t over for me. I was 15 years into my 23-year military career and would do another 17 years with a private company, retire, and get called back to help my old boss refurbish a country club. Now I’m retired for good and enjoying cigars, bourbon, cooking, and fishing. It’s only over if you think it’s over. Never, ever, think it’s over until you hear dirt hit the top of your coffin. Can’t hear when you’re dead? Then, maybe it ain’t over, yet.  Mybe our existence will never be over, just this life.

“Life is perhaps after all simply this thing and then the next. We are all of us improvising. We find a careful balance only to discover that gravity or stasis or love or dismay or illness or some other force suddenly tows us in an unexpected direction. We wake up to find that we have changed abruptly in a way that is peculiar and inexplicable. We are constantly adjusting, making it up, feeling our way forward, figuring out how to be and where to go next. We work it out, how to be happy, but sooner or later comes a change-sometimes something small, sometimes everything at once- and we have to start over again, feeling our way back to a provisional state of contentment.”

-- Anne Giardini

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com