Questioning Happiness, Success, and Life

 

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

-- Mae West

What should "The customer is always right" be replaced with?

Treat the customer with tolerance and understanding, because sometimes they are right.

What are the 3 principles in life? Explain each.

Have a personal code of moral ethics. Your personal code of ethics will define who you are to those around you.

Work hard for what you want. If you aren’t willing to work hard for what you want, how will you value it when you arrive?

Be happy with what you work hard for. If you aren’t going to be exceedingly happy working toward your goal, then how happy will you be when you attain it? 

Is there any correlation between huge wealth and immorality?

Nope.

“Oh how wrong we were to think immortality meant never dying”

-- Gerard Way

What made you realize that all is not as it seems? And did it cost you anything?

My divorce, after 25 years of marriage. It cost me 25 years of my life married to a woman that I never knew really didn’t love me. It cost me everything I worked for during the 25 years. It cost me my children and my right to be a full-time father. It cost me half of my military retirement that I continue to pay to a woman who never supported me in anything. It cost me everything but my life, and that I rebuilt with a vengeance and the knowledge I would strive to be happy always, especially in the face of this kind of adversity.

Now, along with the realization that I wasn’t the sharpest tool in the matrimony shed, I also realize that all may not be as it seems, so I do my due diligence to help me determine what it really is. I have been exceedingly happy since the divorce in 2000, happier than I’d been in the 25 years leading up to it. I continue to strive for happiness always, and I usually succeed.

How and when did you say "stop" to the bad life you were living? What I mean by a bad life, is a life where you're miserable and that will bring nothing good for you. For example, no career, no good relationships, no future and you never achieve your goals.

Again, this would have to be when I stopped fighting to save a marriage that was never going to be as good as she didn’t want it to be. I wasn’t happy. She wasn’t happy. And, the children were certainly not as happy as they could have been. It was a bad life, I was miserable, and nothing good was ever going to come of it without her help. My future was bleak, and I really cared less about goals. The divorce was a turning point in turning a bad life into something so much better. It was unfortunate that I was the only one who didn’t know the marriage was over before it even started.

When in your life did you understand that you were on the losing path and decide to have a good or successful life? Let's say that you were living a life that would get you nowhere. You were living for the sake of living. You were doing nothing.

This answer is like a broken record. After a 25 year marriage that went nowhere. The harder I tried to salvage it, the worse it got. It takes two to make a marriage, and I was getting nowhere. I had to make a choice, one that she made extremely easy for me, and the best choice of my now half-over life.

Note to my readers:  The next answer seemed apropos for this spot, given the last three. 

What is your perception of failure?

An opportunity to learn. 

“If you spend your time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to your heart, then you're allowing them to hurt you a second time in your mind.”

-- Shannon L. Alder

How do you measure success?

I measure success by how happy I am. It doesn't matter what goals I attain if I’m not happy in the process. I strive to be happy at all times, and this ensures I am successful always.

Do you think NSTP is necessary?

We can do away with all tax professionals if we are all required to pay a set tax, no loopholes, no deductions, no bullshit, just a set percentage of our income. You will always know what you owe, and so will the IRS.

How much does money really matter in today's day and age?

Money is a necessity for self-assured survival. That’s it. Food, clothing, shelter. What really matters, other than assured survival, is sustained happiness. This is a conscious choice each of us must make for our life, to be happy always, regardless of our circumstances.

“Money is an important tool for modern life. Money will not make you happy, but you can use money wisely to enhance your happiness.”

-- Debasish Mridha

Are you contributing to the world?

If I’m not, I’m wasting precious time answering these questions. Hopefully, everybody who takes time to give a constructive answer to a serious question will make some contribution to humanity and, thus, the world.

Are you concerned more with past failures or with hopes for the future?

I have taken the time to critique and learn from my past failures. People who take the time to do this, and actually learn from it, have no reason to concern themselves with anything. The future will unfold better than it would have, otherwise.

In this day and age, can women support each other without attacking men?

I certainly hope so. I’m tired of being used as one of the unwilling centerpieces in so many catfights.

“I do not wish women to have power over men, but over themselves.”

-- Mary Shelley

Do you think abilities can be taught?

The great many of our abilities have to be taught. Whether we are capable of learning them is another question.

How can we achieve more congruency between what we say we are and what we are (what we do)?

Develop a “personal code of moral ethics” and stand by them. Your unwavering personal code of ethics will define who you are to those around you, and who you are will reflect what they can expect you to probably do.

What did you learn from your mother unknowingly that has stayed with you the rest of your life?

Equality among people. Race, religion, political affiliation, sexual orientation, etc., are not reasons to not like someone. Making me apologize for being white, however, might get you punched in the face for thinking you’re better than the rest of us.

I learned early on, through stories of my ancestors, that the Irish, Sicilian, and, in particular, the Choctaw, were considered less than equal to others here in the ”New World.” Indentured servitude was tantamount to slavery with the abuse, rape, and beatings. It was servitude you could almost never buy your way out of.

I’m sure as hell not going to agree to pay reparations to people who weren’t slaves. If this comes to pass, I want my reparations for everything my ancestors went through, as well. Maybe we should start by demanding the tribes in Africa that sold their prisoners to the Portuguese should pay up first, then the Portuguese should pay their fair share. But, first, we have to find out what tribe everybody hails from, so the slave traders don’t get paid twice for the flesh they sold.

Apologize for being a Sicilian-Irish-American Indian? Those that expect it can kiss my lightly tinted, olive-colored ass. Or, we can eat a plate of pasta, drink a pint of stout, and smoke a pipe together. Just saying.

"My white “privilege” has not exempted me from racism; it came crashing through my car window during the L.A. riots, carried on a brick to the tune of, “white fucking bitch”."

-- Marrie Lobel

Note to my readers:  Apologies for the questionable language in the above quote, but it plays to a theme we still, very often, forget in the emotion of the moment:  The one who controls their voice controls the conversation.  I'm not really sure what "white fucking bitch" controls, in the brick thrower's mind, other than a lack of tolerance that lowers them out of the "non-conversation" since they have no cogent argument than her questionable sex life of which they really have no knowledge.  I wonder what Martin Luther King, Jr. would make of this incident?  I wonder what his opinion of burning neighborhoods and businesses to the ground would be?  Would embrace "black lives matter" or "all lives matter"?  And, I also wonder if he would put children of any color at risk by defunding the police?  Hmmm...  Just some thoughts.

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com