Questions Deserve Honest Answers

"It is what it is until it isn't, and then it is what it is... again"

When you ask a question you open yourself up to honesty.  The answer might not be what you want to hear, but it might just be what you need to hear.  Asking strangers a question multiplies this outcome because they have absolutely no reason to bullshit you.  They don't know you.  They don't have the luxury of worrying about your precious feelings like friends and family would.  What you get from strangers, even as much as they might care for you as a person, is "tough love."

Many of the questions I address, I really think are the fault of society and family not taking the time to train young people to deal with life, or... it could be the young people not listening.  But, if they aren't listening isn't this a sign that someone didn't train them properly?  I mean, if they aren't total idiots?  Young people not listening is getting more commonplace in our society.  This is worrisome as experience tells me they may not learn these lessons until they are on the downhill side.  Many of us don't, but at least we were cognizant of the issues.  

Mentoring and "tough love" is one way to kickstart the process for those with ears to hear.  Are all answers right?  No, they are just opinions and everybody has at least one.  But, life is about choices and, if you listen, you will have choices to make.  Listen carefully, to everyone.  You will have to decide who is right, regardless of your feelings, and who is sugarcoating their opinion so as not to offend.  You will have to decide.  It is, after all, your life.  No one is responsible for your life except you.  Make the best choice you can.

My answers are constantly being upvoted by readers.  My answers to questions asked of me garnered 4,848 views, just this past week, along with the site censoring one of my answers for not meeting their questionable criteria.  I appealed, but they maintained their original decision to remove it.  Luckily I copied it first and placed it, in its entirety, on my latest posting, And Yet, More Semi-Ancient Pie-Hole Wisdom.  Look to the question, "What is the purpose of being alive?"  I wasn't angry, as it's a liberal site and this is the kind of game they play.  I will continue to press their buttons.  It's the kind of game I play.

“Part of being successful is about asking questions and listening to the answers.”

-- Anne Burrell, chef, instructor, TV personality

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Why does it seem that, despite my taking so much initiative and leading everything I do at a high level (work-wise), I'm not presented with the opportunities I think I deserve while others get them with fewer qualifications and work?

I would find new employment or be secure in finding another job, before asking those above me to answer this question. It might very well not be what you know, but who, or you’re so good where you are they don’t want to move you. This is a poor work environment that would cause me to quit immediately and look for an employer who appreciates my level of work.

What are some of the greatest, most valuable, or most challenging exams or credentials you can take or earn without a degree?

The military has many of these. Basic Training, Technical School, NCO Leadership School, NCO Academy, and the Senior NCO Academy, are the ones I found challenging and valuable. The Academy courses were very exceptionally valuable for supervision and management and crossed over into personnel and project management in civilian life.

Does it bother you when your boss is younger than you? Why or why not?

No. This is common in the military where junior officers are usually younger than the NCOs under them. Everyone knows the pecking order and their job. You know your boss is in pooh when his boss comes to see you without him for your “opinion.”

You don’t need to dwell on your age, but neither do you need to apologize for it. Being on the other side of 40 means you have experience and have lived through multiple life stages. Just because your boss is at a different stage than you doesn’t mean you can’t relate to each other.

-- Susan Caminiti, senior editor, journalist 

Is success always ethical?

No. If it was always ethical, successful people wouldn’t be doing time in white-collar "resort" prisons.

As management, have you ever had to compromise your integrity in order to keep those above you happy?

Never. As a matter of fact, I was once asked to keep my ear to the ground concerning ongoing employee issues and complaints. The boss knew it would be easy for me considering my background in information collection and analysis. A week later I reported what I knew about what employees thought the company was up to that was concerning to them. He asked for names. I refused. He asked why.

I have to work with these people and will not compromise my unique position for intelligence collection, nor my integrity. I have no problem stating their concerns, but if he wants names he can get them for himself. He knew I was pissed off that he thought I would, and didn’t press me further.

I guarded my integrity throughout my military career, and I guard it just as closely in the civilian world.

Is it worth doing something that is almost impossible?

If you’re doing it, then congratulations are in order. It was worth “attempting” something that was almost impossible because you proved it not to be… since you’re doing it. Now, go hunt for something else to attempt, and make it something much harder to accomplish.

“There is no point in using the word 'impossible' to describe something that has clearly happened.”

-- Douglas Adams (1952-2001). author, humorist, satirist 

How does knowing yourself make you successful in life?

By knowing yourself, you know your limitations and your strengths. These will help make you successful. But, to be truly successful, you must be willing to take a chance on yourself, to try something not necessarily in your wheelhouse. You might fail but, in failure, you will know yourself even better. You will learn the lesson failure has taught, and move forward and closer to your goal.

Work-wise, what job in the past have you had that you consider "the best?" What made you leave it?

Military Intelligence. In the early 1990s, the service was deciding to let gays serve openly in the military. I have no problem with the gay lifestyle, I have known many, and grew up just south of San Francisco, in the Monterey Bay area. What was concerning to me was the total lack of preparation exhibited. For instance, Dorm rooms had shared bathrooms between them, and both rooms were occupied by either women or men. Now, here come gays, viewed by many as separate sex, and they will be billeted as their physical sex, either men or women, not what they identify as. So, were we going to start letting men occupy one room and women the other? We seemed willing to put gays on one side and straights on the other. No. And these kinds of poorly thought out issues in dealing with relaxing rules about the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy was one of many that I was not willing to have a higher command drop into my lap without a well-thought-out plan. It was too important, for all involved. I had put in my 20 years, and this evidenced that I was burned out. I began preparing for retirement.

Why does mediocrity seem so boring and predictable to me and why am I so extreme? I've always been extreme, good or bad. I feel a few things are worth pursuing if mediocre. I even feel respect for people who are extreme in areas I would never pursue.

Basically, because mediocrity is boring and predictable. The definition of mediocre states, “of only moderate quality; not very good.” Who would pursue this? Well, not you, obviously. You prefer to purse challenges, especially if they’re “extreme” challenges. Like you, I also have respect for those who pursue extreme areas of interest.

To your question, then, this is why you are so extreme. You enjoy the challenge. Don’t even apologize for this. I was so much like you when I was younger. I think there are more of us than not, who wish we were like you.

“When you tolerate mediocrity, you get more of it.”

-- Frank Sonnenberg, author

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.