It's Just My Humble Opinion

“I didn’t know what I was doing at college aside from fulfilling a destiny that no one bothered explaining to me.”

-- Elizabeth Gilbert, journalist, author

What is your goal with life? What do you wish to be remembered for?

Being a good friend, a good mentor, and being happy always. I think I failed at being any kind of a father, so the next best thing would be friendship. Friends and family make me happy, though I don’t see family near as much as I should. Responsibilities and distance make it tough, but it is what it is.

Can you define your purpose in life?

To be happy always! Mentoring makes me happy. Work make me happy. Physical labor makes me happy. Heated discussions make me happy. Being a chaplain makes me happy. Giving over 22 years in service to my country made me happy. My marriage didn’t make me happy, but I resolved the issue and that made me happy. Yep! I think being happy always is a fine purpose. 

How can nepotism be abolished from every place? How can the mentality be changed so that people push their kids to chase perfection rather than giving them hopes that they would heir their already successful business?

Two separate questions, but very easy to answer. Family cannot work for the family unless they’re part owner. Easy enough to loophole, just make sure their minor percentage of the business is what you’d pay them as an employee. Then, ensure this "partnership" has an ironclad buyout clause if the “junior” partner doesn't pan out. I'm not sure you can call that nepotism, it's more a "family business."

Be very clear the kids aren’t getting the business unless they earn it (refer back to the “buyout” clause). They can chase perfection, but they never attain it.  Parents should be thrilled that their children are just learning and bettering themselves.  My dad was always very clear that he was leaving the bulk of his wealth to an animal shelter. He was a big believer in learning about life by earning your own way in it. There is no such thing as a free lunch.

“A strong and capable leader can stand on their own two feet. A wimpy puppet of a leader needs to have their father, their father-in-law, mother, mother-in-law, sister, nursemaid, paid 'yes' people, etc. prop him up. That's fine if he is a baby, but not fine when he is a grown man. If he is capable of leading a company without the help of nepotism, then his workers will respect him and naturally get motivated to support him as a leader."

-- Kailin Gow, author

When did you realize that life isn't as good as you'd hoped?

It isn’t? I’m always the last to know. I wake up every morning to thank God for the gift of another day in paradise and another chance to excel in this life. My life is as good as I make it. My life is my choice. What happens in my life is my choice. If my choice sucks, I have a new choice to correct the previous choice and change my circumstances. This is not rocket science, and I’m not sure why more people don’t understand this. Maybe they’re waiting for someone else to make their lives better. Good luck with that.

At what moment did you realize that you are not okay?

This is like the last question I just answered, “When did you realize that life isn't as good as you'd hoped?” I’m beginning to wonder if I’m missing something. Let me start by giving the answer to this last question:

“It isn’t? I’m always the last to know. I wake up every morning to thank God for the gift of another day in paradise and another chance to excel in this life. My life is as good as I make it. My life is my choice. What happens in my life is my choice. If my choice sucks, I have a new choice to correct the previous choice and change my circumstances. This is not rocket science, and I’m not sure why more people don’t understand this. Maybe they’re waiting for someone else to make their lives better. Good luck with that.”

Now, to expand on this for the answer to your question, life is about learning, and much of learning has to do with making good choices and decisions. If you fail in this, it’s okay, failure is simply a good way to learn lessons, as long as you reapply yourself and try again. If life isn’t as good as we hoped we haven’t made very good choices or decisions. More importantly, we didn’t correct the questionable choices and decisions we made that left us with the unremarkable circumstances that make us feel we are not okay.

I’m okay. You’re okay. Everyone is okay. If you feel you aren’t, ask yourself why and make changes so you feel better. Your life is what you make of it. Nobody else is responsible for your life or your happiness. Correct your mistakes, make better choices and decisions, and own your life.

Make better choices and, regardless, learn to be happy always. The alternative simply sucks.

What is the best possible way to look for inspiration?

I have always struggled when it came to inspiration for a talk to the medical center’s PTSD unit, or for a post on my own blogsite. I finally stopped looking. I discovered that I was trying too hard. I literally could not see the forest for the trees. If I simply relaxed and didn’t think about it, God would deliver. Something on the radio, someone who cut me off in traffic, a shared anecdote, a child’s face, any of these could spark interest and deliver me a humble offering to share with others.

I found this to be true with my artwork, or my woodworking. If I had a basic thought but didn’t really know what I wanted, I would just walk away from it and in the middle of the night, it would come to me. I solve most of my problems this way, as well.

Don’t try too hard. If you stop looking, what you seek will find you.

"Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset."

--Saint Francis de Sales (1567-1622), Bishop of Geneva

If someone demands recognition for their good deed, does it negate the value of the deed?

Yes. You should do “good deeds” because they’re the right thing to do, not for any selfish recognition. Good deeds are only truly good if they are selfless.

What is the way things don't work?

Things don’t operate properly, don’t work, if they’re broken or turned off. French philosopher René Descartes in his “Discourse on Method” (1637) stated, “Cogito, ergo sum,” Latin for “I think, therefore I am.” Unless people are turned off, or broken, they operate, they work, they think. If they operate properly they make things better, more efficient. Some don’t operate properly. History is rife with leaders who brought their own country to its knees with bad governing, like socialism. Socialism is a broken concept; it does not work. Why doesn’t it work? Sooner or later socialism runs out of other people’s money.

But, this is why things don’t work. Once you understand why things don’t work it is easier to answer your question of what is the way things don’t work.

Do you think humans have intrinsic value even if they have no skills or talents?

Everyone has a skill or talent, even if they don’t think so. A woman might feel she’s worthless because she thinks she has no skill or talent. If she loves me, this is worth something. She may not realize it, but her ability to love has intrinsic value to me.

Even if I don’t feel the same love toward her, I appreciate her ability, her desire, to love. We may not all have skill or talent, but we all have some ability that gives our lives value.

"A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything but the value of nothing."

-- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900), poet

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.