Memories and Love Lost - Part 2

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

-- Alfred Lord Tennyson (1809-1892), Poet Laureate of Great Britain

Was it never meant to be, or, was it that, what was meant to be was fulfilled?  This a question, posted by a fellow minister, which piqued my interest.  Was "lost love" never meant to be?  Or, was there purpose in the relationship that was, perhaps, greater than the relationship itself?  Was this meeting to fulfill some necessity in the cosmic grand plan?

Well, I'll consider my own, failed, marriage.  It probably should have ended much sooner than it did, perhaps before the birth of my daughter, but something made me hold on.  As it turns out, my darling daughter has produced two wonderful children, and she is the doting mother.  Since it turn out, so far, she is the only one of the two to grace us with grandkids, was this a failure?  Did my marriage manage to bear the stress until after my daughter arrived, just so she could produce a child that might be the catalyst for some other future action?  If so, then what was meant to be, was fulfilled.  If not, then God just graced the world with one terrific mother.

"Love is divine only and difficult always. If you think it is easy you are a fool. If you think it is natural you are blind. It is a learned application without reason or motive except that it is God."

-- Toni Morrison, Nobel Prize in Literature, Medal of Freedom

(Okay, are you ready?  I'm about to wander off into left field for a moment, as I do from time to time.  I'd ask you to bear with me but, what's the point.)

This whole question of fate, what was meant to be, bodes the question, though, of what part of God's cosmic plan runs amok when monsters like the Nazis and ISIS are allowed to exist?  Or, are these horrors also meant to set the cosmic scales back into balance; to set some other action in motion, in order to set another mistake right?  The philosophy behind the thinking can literally take us from the butterfly flapping its wings in Mexico and causing air movement that destroys crops, ruins an economy, and leads to nuclear war on the other side of the globe.  It offers up for us the real possibility that even the smallest of things can have tremendous impact, consequences, for our lives, the lives of others, and perhaps the universe.  What we consider failed romances may, indeed, have all been for a higher purpose.

"For so it had come about, as indeed I and many men might have foreseen had not terror and disaster blinded our minds. These germs of disease have taken toll of humanity since the beginning of things--taken toll of our prehuman ancestors since life began here. But by virtue of this natural selection of our kind we have developed resisting power; to no germs do we succumb without a struggle, and to many-- those that cause putrefaction in dead matter, for instance --our living frames are altogether immune. But there are no bacteria in Mars, and directly these invaders arrived, directly they drank and fed, our microscopic allies began to work their overthrow. Already when I watched them they were irrevocably doomed, dying and rotting even as they went to and fro. It was inevitable. By the toll of a billion deaths man has bought his birthright of the earth, and it is his against all comers; it would still be his were the Martians ten times as mighty as they are. For neither do men live nor die in vain."

H.G. Wells, "War of the Worlds" (1898)

This whole idea of consequences also brings the morality of abortion around to the question of just what possible savior of mankind are we killing in utero.  If we treat abortion as simply a fact of life, like our relationships, we might lose sight of the possible consequences.  I equate this to the human version of destroying our rainforests just as we begin to realize they are the possible source of cures for most of what ails mankind.  With abortion don't we run the risk of losing the next Einstein, Bach, Angelou, Tennyson, or Mr. Rogers?  Are the consequences of our actions worth the possible loss?

Video: What if that's the kid who would've change the world?

On the flip side is the possibility that the next mass murderer is never born.  We are left with a risk/reward study that is heavily weighted to the moral side of the scale.  Better to let them all live and handle the evil when it rears its ugly head.  Consequences of the small ripples each of us cause in our sea of humanity.

"Better to have never met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there."

-- Otomo No Yakamochi (718-785), Japanese statesman, poet

So, what of the love lost?  Was it never meant to be, or was it, perhaps, that what was meant to be was fulfilled?  Or, does it really matter in the first place?  What was, was, and are memories. What is, is, and... now are memories. What will be, will be, and is what we make, or don't make, of our dreams, and this future will also succumb to memory. All was meant to be, and all will be fulfilled, right?  Be careful, then, not to think too hard on an answer, for it, too, was probably always meant to be.

As for myself, I think we meet people again and again throughout our many lives.  Friends reappear like wildflowers in spring, and enemies find us like the cold breeze of winter.  Like death and taxes we can truly not escape either.  I look forward, fondly, to meeting all again.  

It is better to have loved you and lost you, than never to have loved you at all.  As each life comes and goes, I so look forward to suffering our meeting one more time; to suffer loving you again, and losing you, as always.  This curse upon me, for some slight to God of which I have long since forgotten many lifetimes past, keeps me humble before my Lord.  One day I will earn favor, and on that day, in that life, love lost will be love found again, and a bit of balance will be restored.  Until then, I dream.

Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."