Guest Post - Follow-up: Mr. PTSD

Mr. PTSDBy GYPSY, March 23, 2015  

This is a follow-up to Silent Demon. 

Warning:  Some parts of this blog may be upsetting, especially to those who have combat PTSD [Post Traumatic Stress Disorder] or may have a loved one who suffers from it, or has, out of desperation, taken his life into his own hands. It is not my intention to upset anyone, my only intent is to shed some bright lights on what some see as a taboo subject that should be hidden in the shadows.

Before my husband even left Iraq (while serving his country) I knew he was bringing home a lifelong guest with him. Without his choice Mr. PTSD had latched on to my husband and would be like a monkey on his back for life. How much this new life long guest would affect us I had NO idea. What I as a spouse am doing is dealing with his issues the best way I alone know how to. Where the VA may state they have many ways to help someone with PTSD, in my humble opinion that is far from what I consider the truth. Where as we are very thankful for the help they do provide, their cookie cutter ideas of one size fits all is a very tough cookie to swallow especially when trust plays a major role with any medical/mental health care provider.

My husband was in Iraq no more than three months when I was urgently contacted by one of his brothers in arms that I had never met. I received an urgent IM via yahoo in the middle of the night with a short introduction asking me what should be done. One of my husband’s brothers walked into his living quarters expectantly to find my husband sitting on his cot with his gun locked and loaded ready to swallow a round. Anyone that knows my husband knows that suicide is totally against his personal and spiritual beliefs. My husband does not condone suicide or murder the only type of violent actions my husband would condone was in a case of self-defense. Even then he would do his best to make sure no one was hurt and everyone was safe and sound.

Thankfully my husband's brother in arms got him to a phone to wear I could try to talk to him and see what was going on with him. If my husband had called me alone he would have never told me for the fear he might have put me in the same mindset. My husband did exactly what he knew he needed to before he reached the point of hopelessness. He went to the chaplain. 

After all, with his wife working/volunteering in many different ministry and religious fields most of her life, when in need of spiritual counseling common sense, in our case, would send him looking for spiritual guidance, which he had already done. Only to be told by a TRAINED military chaplain since you are not a Christian and play role playing games (D&D) to mentally escape while in a war zone you might as well not be here, you're going to die anyway. My mouth hit the floor when my husband told me this over the phone. Boy was I fit to be tied.

My husband agreed to hand his gun over to his sergeant and go straight to mental health. The Major he saw at mental health brushed it off like lint on a 3 piece suite telling him to suck it up soldier and get back to work. Thankfully, after a few days, my husband did his best to buck up and face the mission at hand and was given back his weapon. However, what had driven my husband to this point, unfortunately, was not going to stop. Knowing that, first off, my husband, the only man I have ever been in love with, was not only in constant danger yet the damages of the things he had seen and had to do had took a straight track to his mental health. Not only was he dealing with terrorists, his mental health had already taken a huge hit, and those in higher positions that were supposed to help him were null and void because he was NOT a Christian, and in the eyes of a military chaplain his life was worthless.

In our personal lives the war rages on as MR. PTSD makes his presence daily known. 

In closing I would like to not only thank our troops, veterans, our higher power(s), but I would like to thank the young man who saved my husband’s life. If you ever stumble across this blog you will never know how thankful I am to you! I will never forget you! 

END OF GUEST POST

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The worrisome point for me in this post is the pathetic role the "chaplain" played in this drama.  We wonder why our military seems to turn their back on our soldiers when they return.  A chaplain doesn't even do his job while they're in theater.  I would like to say the attitude of this chaplain was not typical of the ministry, military or civilian, but I can't.  Mainstream Christianity has become a "members only" club.  If her husband had turn the gun on fellow soldiers as he went "postal" it would rest on the shoulders of this idiot who dares to call himself a man of God.  This isn't to say all ministers and chaplains take this tact with the people and troops that rely upon them, but it certainly seems to be a new, albeit heretical, theme for many.

"I am just there with them – I walk with them and sit with them; I eat with them and sleep in the holes with them – and I talk with them – but only when they are ready to talk. It takes time, but I never rush them."

-- Chaplain, Fr. Vincent Capodanno to his division chaplain, David Casazza. 

"Stay calm Marine. There will be someone soon to help us… God is with us all here."

-- Chaplain, Fr. Vincent Capodanno

God should have been with her husband as well, if the chaplain had been there for him.  Instead, her husband seems to have been damned by this particular "man of the cloth."  But, there is plenty of blame to go around, should anything have happened.  With all of the controversy back home, the Major in the mental health office should be brought up on charges of dereliction of duty.  To take a soldier with obvious signs of PTSD and give him back a gun while intimating he's a pussy and should suck it up, is an attitude beyond the pale for even a military mental health "professional."

If I had been her husband's sergeant I would have lost my freaking mind knowing I had been handed back a ticking bomb.  Like there weren't enough problems for him to shoulder without having to concern himself with a troop on the edge.  Truth be known, it was probably this sergeant and the rest of his "band of brothers" that pulled him through this alive, because, obviously, the military fell down on the job when it came to doing for one of their own.

What our troops do for us is a thankless job that no one else wants to do, and for so many obvious reasons.  I take this opportunity to also thank all the men and women bravely serving our country where others fear to tread.  God bless them all for what they have done, do now, and will have to suffer with the rest of their lives, for those of lesser gratitude.  Our country is what it is because of these brave people and those other patriots that support their efforts here at home and, as for all the rest, shame on you.

Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."