Memories and Love Lost - Part 2

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

-- Alfred Lord Tennyson (1809-1892), Poet Laureate of Great Britain

Was it never meant to be, or, was it that, what was meant to be was fulfilled?  This a question, posted by a fellow minister, which piqued my interest.  Was "lost love" never meant to be?  Or, was there purpose in the relationship that was, perhaps, greater than the relationship itself?  Was this meeting to fulfill some necessity in the cosmic grand plan?

Well, I'll consider my own, failed, marriage.  It probably should have ended much sooner than it did, perhaps before the birth of my daughter, but something made me hold on.  As it turns out, my darling daughter has produced two wonderful children, and she is the doting mother.  Since it turn out, so far, she is the only one of the two to grace us with grandkids, was this a failure?  Did my marriage manage to bear the stress until after my daughter arrived, just so she could produce a child that might be the catalyst for some other future action?  If so, then what was meant to be, was fulfilled.  If not, then God just graced the world with one terrific mother.

"Love is divine only and difficult always. If you think it is easy you are a fool. If you think it is natural you are blind. It is a learned application without reason or motive except that it is God."

-- Toni Morrison, Nobel Prize in Literature, Medal of Freedom

(Okay, are you ready?  I'm about to wander off into left field for a moment, as I do from time to time.  I'd ask you to bear with me but, what's the point.)

This whole question of fate, what was meant to be, bodes the question, though, of what part of God's cosmic plan runs amok when monsters like the Nazis and ISIS are allowed to exist?  Or, are these horrors also meant to set the cosmic scales back into balance; to set some other action in motion, in order to set another mistake right?  The philosophy behind the thinking can literally take us from the butterfly flapping its wings in Mexico and causing air movement that destroys crops, ruins an economy, and leads to nuclear war on the other side of the globe.  It offers up for us the real possibility that even the smallest of things can have tremendous impact, consequences, for our lives, the lives of others, and perhaps the universe.  What we consider failed romances may, indeed, have all been for a higher purpose.

"For so it had come about, as indeed I and many men might have foreseen had not terror and disaster blinded our minds. These germs of disease have taken toll of humanity since the beginning of things--taken toll of our prehuman ancestors since life began here. But by virtue of this natural selection of our kind we have developed resisting power; to no germs do we succumb without a struggle, and to many-- those that cause putrefaction in dead matter, for instance --our living frames are altogether immune. But there are no bacteria in Mars, and directly these invaders arrived, directly they drank and fed, our microscopic allies began to work their overthrow. Already when I watched them they were irrevocably doomed, dying and rotting even as they went to and fro. It was inevitable. By the toll of a billion deaths man has bought his birthright of the earth, and it is his against all comers; it would still be his were the Martians ten times as mighty as they are. For neither do men live nor die in vain."

H.G. Wells, "War of the Worlds" (1898)

This whole idea of consequences also brings the morality of abortion around to the question of just what possible savior of mankind are we killing in utero.  If we treat abortion as simply a fact of life, like our relationships, we might lose sight of the possible consequences.  I equate this to the human version of destroying our rainforests just as we begin to realize they are the possible source of cures for most of what ails mankind.  With abortion don't we run the risk of losing the next Einstein, Bach, Angelou, Tennyson, or Mr. Rogers?  Are the consequences of our actions worth the possible loss?

Video: What if that's the kid who would've change the world?

On the flip side is the possibility that the next mass murderer is never born.  We are left with a risk/reward study that is heavily weighted to the moral side of the scale.  Better to let them all live and handle the evil when it rears its ugly head.  Consequences of the small ripples each of us cause in our sea of humanity.

"Better to have never met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there."

-- Otomo No Yakamochi (718-785), Japanese statesman, poet

So, what of the love lost?  Was it never meant to be, or was it, perhaps, that what was meant to be was fulfilled?  Or, does it really matter in the first place?  What was, was, and are memories. What is, is, and... now are memories. What will be, will be, and is what we make, or don't make, of our dreams, and this future will also succumb to memory. All was meant to be, and all will be fulfilled, right?  Be careful, then, not to think too hard on an answer, for it, too, was probably always meant to be.

As for myself, I think we meet people again and again throughout our many lives.  Friends reappear like wildflowers in spring, and enemies find us like the cold breeze of winter.  Like death and taxes we can truly not escape either.  I look forward, fondly, to meeting all again.  

It is better to have loved you and lost you, than never to have loved you at all.  As each life comes and goes, I so look forward to suffering our meeting one more time; to suffer loving you again, and losing you, as always.  This curse upon me, for some slight to God of which I have long since forgotten many lifetimes past, keeps me humble before my Lord.  One day I will earn favor, and on that day, in that life, love lost will be love found again, and a bit of balance will be restored.  Until then, I dream.

Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."

Praise God... Always?

“I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time.”

-- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900), philosopher

This quote, by Nietzsche, was posted to the monastery site by a fellow minister.  You can interpret the meaning several ways, and I saw a positive interpretation in it.  I asked what the minister's opinion of the quote was:

"Here's my spin, relationship with God is within, relation with society is open to changes in different cultures. When culture put more emphasis on the idolatry of character and metaphors, compared to the understandings of the teaching, it separates itself from God and it becomes more about Ego, politics and power..... That's what happens when you humanize God, to please ego. God is the universe, nothing less, nothing more, but enough for me."

I found his response interestingly not mine.  The reason for that is very simple - it's his opinion, and everybody has one.  Again we must realize that no opinion is necessarily more right than another, it is simply different.  Whereas we may not agree, or understand, a particular take on a given topic, which does not detract from finding an opinion very interesting and of value.

I think we need to ask ourselves, why our God would want to be praised all the time.  This is a question that strikes to the very bone of Abrahamic faith.  Psychologically, why do we want praise?  We are usually after a stroking of our ego through acceptance, reassurance, confirmation, etc., basically everything God should be above feeling the need for.  As an omnipotent, all seeing, all knowing deity, God is already aware of our feelings.  But, let's take this from the view of the truly faithful.

I think praising God, for those truly faithful among us, is a constant pleasure of life.  Praise is not offered up as acceptance, reassurance, or confirmation.  Praise from the faithful is a constant thankfulness for the beauty and joy that surrounds us in daily life.  A constant gratitude for the gifts bestowed upon us.  We may not feel it is required, but it is definitely warranted.  We were literally given the world; the least we can do is be grateful.

I, also, cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time.  How egotistical does that make God?  A good father doesn't need to be bothered by these petty egotistical emotions.  A good, loving father simply wants what's best for the children.  But, like any good, giving father, I think showing gratitude for being a good father is constantly warranted from those children, and, in this gratitude, we evidence our happiness and our love.

Isn't this what any father would hope for the children?

I'm sure philosophers discuss Nietzsche at length.  I know we had many discussions in high school and college.  Growing up in the 60s was a like being in a constant state of philosophical discussion and debate.  I think Nietzsche recognized the obvious issues of an omnipotent entity with an ego and asked himself the, equally, obvious question, "Why?"



Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."

Memories and Love Lost

"Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, 

are not less than the pleasures of youth."

W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965), playwright

I am of the firm belief that love lost, was never really love at all.  I loved my ex-wife up to the day I finally was forced to admit our relationship wasn't.  But, I had loved her for a reason.  I continued to love her for a reason, throughout our troubles, and tried to make it work for years, even while it self-destructed.  I loved her for a reason.  

I hated her for years afterward, until I finally realized the hate was eating me up for something that I was ultimately as much to blame for.  Throughout it all, including the hate, I still loved her.  Why would I have married her if I didn't love her?  If I loved her, what would it say about me if I could just turn that love off?  Would it say I spent over twenty years living a lie?  Maybe, but it wasn't my lie.  Thinking back on my life, I have loved many people that I haven't necessarily liked a whole bunch.  Was it stupid?  A waste of time?  I don't think so.  I think these are experiences, people, and memories, that shape who we are and who we will ultimately become.

I am a self-trained artist in several media, including photography.  I have sold art and won awards, so I guess I'm pretty good at it, though I'm my own worse critic and, most times, I don't see the appeal.  Art has to speak to me, as I think it has to speak to most people.  It must have a message; something that grabs us and takes us somewhere.  The artwork may not be my cup of tea but, if it transports me somewhere, I can love the effect without liking the art.  This header piece I have used, above, speaks volumes to me.  I would love to have a large print of this in my house.  It speaks novels to me, and short stories my mind has yet to write.  It brings forth a flood of memories, good and bad, long buried.

"People often say 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder,' and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder.  This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves."

-- Selma Hayek, actress

I could write a lengthy, boring, post over why love is lost, blame to be assigned, to cry or not to cry, you know, all the obvious stuff.  The bottom line is, you really need to get over it.  One, or both, of you didn't give it your all; time to move on.  Was it a waste of time?  Only, I think, if you take absolutely nothing away from the relationship.  For me, I was blessed with two great kids, two beautiful grandkids, and a butt load of great memories that far outweigh the ones that used to be a yoke around my neck.  Was this twenty plus years a waste?  I think not.  

We need to stop beating up the good memories along with the bad.  The bad memories are there as life lessons, and the good are there to make us smile and realize it was time, for the most part, well spent.  This last will be a point of contention for those that wallow in denial and self-pity, and for those I offer this thought, coming from one who's been there:  If it was that bad, why did you stay so long and, if you stayed, why is your decision to do so their fault?  Why are they in charge of your happiness?  And, also, who put you in charge of theirs?  If you really look down deep there will be enough blame to go around so, again, maybe it's time to get over it.

You loved for a reason, or it wasn't love.  If it wasn't love it was probably lust.  If it wasn't lust, it was probably stupidity, and you really can't cure stupid.  But, you can try to learn from the mistakes without dwelling on them.  If you must dwell on some part of a relationship, try finding the memories of the fun times, the good times, the times that made you fall in love, lust, and/or stupidity.  Sometimes our memories are all we have when all else has disappeared.  Try to spend more time relishing what you have, and less on what has gone hasta-la-bye-bye.  I think you'll find happiness returns much faster and, since people are attracted to happiness, you just might find a stronger relationship to make more memories with.

Like the scene in the artwork, above, I think I might ultimately find myself, having crossed the "older than dirt" barrier, on some rickety wooden dock that creaks as much as I probably will.  I'll be sitting on the hard bench with my umbrella and overcoat to ward off the drizzle and evening chill.  I will look across the water and revisit memories of family, friends, and my many loves.  I will smile as tears of joy adorn my aged and wrinkled face.  I'll shove the two day old stub of an expensive, well-chewed, cigar back between my lips, and look down at the opened bottle of bourbon.  As I reach for one last sip, I begin to dream.  

I will be discovered there, soon or later, having passed peacefully.  I will be frozen in time, like a photograph, my finger just touching the bottle, a smile forever on my lips. 

Memories are a terrible thing to waste on anger.

"It's great to reminisce about good memories of my past.  It was enjoyable when it was today.  So learning to enjoy today has two benefits: it gives me happiness right now, and it becomes a good memory later."

-- George Foreman, athlete, professional boxer

Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."

Guest Post: PTSD - Where's the Broom to Clean up This Mess?

“Trauma destroys the fabric of time. In normal time you move from one moment to the next, sunrise to sunset, birth to death. After trauma, you may move in circles, find yourself being sucked backwards into an eddy or bouncing like a rubber ball from now to then to back again. ... In the traumatic universe the basic laws of matter are suspended: ceiling fans can be helicopters, car exhaust can be mustard gas.”

-- David J. Morris, The Evil Hours: A Biography of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

 ****************************************

Where's the Broom to Clean up This Mess?

A follow up to The Silent Demon, this is Part 3 in a series of many more. Again, I must warn, some parts of this blog may be upsetting especially to those who have combat PTSD, may have a loved one who suffers from it or, out of desperation, taken his/her life into their own hands. It is not my intention to upset anyone. My only intent is to shed the bright light of my own experience on what some see as a taboo subject that should be hidden in the shadows.

Well, another day goes by and, as a spouse with all I have seen our veterans and active duty go through in my short life span, I fear looking at the date on the calendar. Night has fallen and as the sun set our old nemesis, Mr. PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), broke into what is left of my husband’s mind again.

All I can do is struggle, to help as many as I can, however I can, and as I hold my husband’s hand I thank our higher powers that he is still alive. I struggle to help him through the night, as he screams and thrashes the whole way through. Trying my best to stay awake, to make sure my husband does not try to stand at the slightest noise, on legs that barely work, as he is shouting orders and grabbing what he thinks is his weapon (the kitchen broom) to spring into action.

My husband is almost completely deaf and has to wear hearing aids, or be able to read my lips just to hear me say I love him when my face is less than two inches away from his. Sitting next to him at a restaurant, on a rare date, I ask him to pass me the salt and his beautiful reply is, “I love you too baby.” Well, I guess since his return from Iraq has ensured I am now on anxiety and high blood pressure medications from the daily stress of life, he is just showing me he loves me by limiting my salt intake.

I am thankful someone cares about me, seeing as the military believes if they wanted him to have a wife they would have issued him one. Those were the 1st words in greeting me out of a sergeant’s mouth. At the time, as I held back the desire to come unglued, I politely reminded the sergeant (as I could muster), that I still had a copy of the paper, I was made to sign, stating that I supported his decision to join the military. So in my humble opinion I issued my husband to you, Uncle Sam! As I politely told the group of higher ranking personnel, and anyone else in ear shot, the next time someone used that age old phrase in my face I would NOT be as polite. 

I wonder, if the military would have been more concerned with issuing my husband a decent spiritual leader to turn to while on the front lines, instead of the fact that he was a very happily married solider, would my husband have felt like his life was more worth living. Maybe if my husband had hidden his personal/spiritual beliefs and lived a lie he may not have had his first nervous breakdown in Iraq. Maybe his life might have been worth something to that alleged “spiritual leader.” Better training would have been a good idea, seeing as my husband went to AIT school for communications and when his boots first hit ground he was removed from his unit and placed on the front lines because he was the best man for the mission. His ASVAB test scores were 3 points from him being able to go into a nuclear career field with the navy, but because he only had a high school GED they did not want him. For me as a spouse, an unsung blessing!

It seems when it comes to our government and Veterans Affairs, they have spent much time asleep on the job. They have a certain set of rules and if you do not follow them to a T you are turning down the ONLY cookie cutter help they offer. Mass murderers have more benefits and rights than those who serve our country; they at least get 3 meals a day, access to free health care, and a Chaplain that many times, no matter what their beliefs, will be there for them.

Wow! The home of the Free because of the brave you say? Where? It seems when we as a people vote, what are supposed to be trusted, politicians into office, there is no such thing as the lesser of two evils. Do you vote for the devil, or his offspring? They are all actors and the world IS THEIR STAGE! The world has, for quite some time, seemed to be an elite, theatrical, playground only for those born into a life of money, power, and greed. 

So I have to ask, where is the broom to clean up this mess? Mine sits by my husband, 24/7/365, waiting for the call to action. In closing, once again, thank you is not near enough in my book.

~Gypsy/Tuth Dreamer~ 

End of Guest Post

 ****************************************

“The victims of PTSD often feel morally tainted by their experiences, unable to recover confidence in their own goodness, trapped in a sort of spiritual solitary confinement, looking back at the rest of the world from beyond the barrier of what happened. They find themselves unable to communicate their condition to those who remained at home, resenting civilians for their blind innocence.

The Moral Injury, New York Times. Feb 17, 2015”

-- David Brooks, New York Times columnist, political/cultural commentator

Once again, my friend Gypsy, bears a piece of her soul to try and deliver a message, a description, an explanation of what it is like for not only the victim of PTSD, but also the loved ones around them that must also suffer their trauma of battle.  Do they suffer this because they have to?  In a way, yes; it is what you do for those you love.  You hurt, you endure, you empathize, sympathize, and you love.

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."

-- John 15:13

Can any of us give them less?  They have gone off to foreign lands, perhaps to die alone in some empty desert, and ask nothing but an insignificant paycheck.  They would be the first to deny the title of hero, and few ask the respect they so richly deserve.  Yet, this country seems to provide little for those suffering the effects of the fine job they have done.  We shake their hand and dump them back into society.  Hell, even this sorry excuse for a military chaplain turned his back on one of their own simply because of a difference in spiritual belief.  Our lack of tolerance, understanding, and love can be, at times, intolerable.  And yet, these men and women would be the first to volunteer to go back to the battlefield, perhaps to help those comrades they left behind, perhaps in an unconscious, suicidal, attempt to end the pain.  "Greater love hath no man than this..."

Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."

Bullies and Jealousy

Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception, by the bully or by others, of an imbalance of social or physical power. Behaviors used to assert such domination can include verbal harassment or threat, physical assault or coercion, and such acts may be directed repeatedly towards particular targets. Rationalizations for such behavior sometimes include differences of social class, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, appearance, behavior, body language, personality, reputation, lineage, strength, size or ability. If bullying is done by a group, it is called mobbing.

-- Wikipedia.org (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullying) 

Bullying is a form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort. Bullying can take the form of physical contact, words or more subtle actions.

-- American Psychological Association (http://www.apa.org/topics/bullying/)

Bullies.  They're all over the news today.  The reasons they bully are nothing but excuses for parental and societal shortcomings.  These excuses do not give the bully a free pass from taking ownership of their own pitiful egos and trying to be more than the sorry excuse for humanity that we have allowed them to become.  There are as many excuses for why they are, as there are ways to bully.  The problem with walking away from a bully, is the bully becoming some other poor soul's tormentor.

This subject came to light in a recent post from someone becoming dear to me through our communication.  It is a serious concern from a mother at the end of her tolerance.  My concern is for the children that endure this, more than the parents who have to seek legal, or other, recourse in order to end it.  To set the stage, I included the original post here:

"Okay, I'm MAD... like, really mad! I am SO sick and tired of my son being picked on. I am OVER mean kids! [He] is not your "typical" child, thank goodness! He opens his mouth, and the first thing that comes to mind is that he is very bright, and he is. So in exchange for being very bright, he's told he's stupid, that he's "not going to grow up to be a man, but he will grow up to be a sissy" (that's the one that has me worked up tonight), and kids make fun of his vocabulary because he doesn't use "normal" words. I am sick of it. I won't fight his battles for him, but this breaks a mom's heart. It also makes me very thankful that he is homeschooled and not around bullies on a continual basis. His peers simply don't "get" him. Maybe by the time he's in college, he will be admired for his brain instead of ridiculed."

One of the first things we need to inform all young people of, including the bullies, are the definitions of what bullying is.  Then we need to make very certain everyone, parents included, understand why bullying occurs.  I have included a pretty good explanation here:

Studies have shown that envy and resentment may be motives for bullying. Research on the self-esteem of bullies has produced equivocal results. While some bullies are arrogant and narcissistic, they can also use bullying as a tool to conceal shame or anxiety or to boost self-esteem: by demeaning others, the abuser feels empowered. Bullies may bully out of jealousy or because they themselves are bullied. Psychologist Roy Baumeister asserts that people who are prone to abusive behavior tend to have inflated but fragile egos. 

Bullying may also result from a genetic predisposition or a brain abnormality in the bully. While parents can help a toddler develop emotional regulation and control to restrict aggressive behavior, some children fail to develop these skills due to insecure attachment with their families, ineffective discipline, and environmental factors such as a stressful home life and hostile siblings. Moreover, according to some researchers, bullies may be inclined toward negativity and perform poorly academically. 

Often, bullying takes place in the presence of a large group of relatively uninvolved bystanders. In many cases, it is the bully's ability to create the illusion that he or she has the support of the majority present that instills the fear of "speaking out" in protestation of the bullying activities being observed by the group. Unless the "bully mentality" is effectively challenged in any given group in its early stages, it often becomes an accepted, or supported, norm within the group.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullying

For most of my young life, until I entered college and the military, I was the victim of bullying.  My "victimization"  ended when I said enough is enough and beat the crap out of one of them with a tree branch, until a buddy of mine pulled me off of him before he suffered serious physical damage.  This was before I entered college, majoring in psychology, and became aware of why they are.  I found this information to be a life changer in that I could find reason feel sorry for my tormentor.  

I mean, really, read and understand the three paragraphs above.  Bullies are the least of us.  They do what they do because they are, at the most basic definition, jealous.  They suffer their own torment of not being all that their victims are; of knowing they may never become everything their victims might.  They have to suffer the possibility that they are the real loser, and their ego pushes them into denial.  They act the way they do so we can all join them in their marginalized lives, their pit of despair.  How sad is that?  Like an escapee from a mental institution that dances in the street, drooling and naked, while a voluminous oration of gibberish spews from their pie hole, we must endure them until the authorities manage to find a way to control them.  We should never condone what they do, even though we shake our heads in embarrassment for them while muttering, "Bless their poor heart," to those around us also shaking their heads.

And, what of those that stand around while the bullying occurs, goading the bully on, or simply saying nothing?  With the information presented, above, what does this say of their lives, of who they are?  Are even the silent any better than the tormentor?  Don't they marginalize their own lives and morality by saying nothing?  Fear is an equally ugly thing.

I seriously believe that once kids learn why their tormentor exists, they can also learn to forgive their tormentors for being so much less than the victims they terrorize.  Bullies are mentally challenged and need serious help.  We all need to realize this, understand it, and find a path to helping these young people, bully and victim, before more lives are lost.

"Bullying is killing our kids.  Being different is killing our kids and the kids who are bullying are dying inside.  We have to save our kids whether they are bullied or they are bullying.  They are all in pain."

-- Cat Cora, chef

Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."

Sunday Throught, March 29, 2015: Palm Sunday

The Donkey

When fishes flew and forests walked

And figs grew upon thorn,

Some moment when the moon was blood

Then surely I was born.

With monstrous head and sickening cry

And ears like errant wings,

The devil's walking parody

On all four-footed things.

The tattered outlaw of the earth,

Of ancient crooked will;

Starve, scourge, deride me: I am dumb,

I keep my secret still.

Fools! For I also had my hour;

One far fierce hour and sweet:

There was a shout about my ears,

And palms before my feet. 

-- G.K. Chesterton

Daily we are tasked to carry our Lord, and by him we are graced with palms before our feet as we trod our path into the Holy land, which is His kingdom.  Who are we to ask for more, or to place ourselves higher than those around us due to the honor of the task we have undertaken?  We do this bidding willingly, humble and without ego, as did the Christ when he triumphantly entered Jerusalem, on an ass and amidst much fanfare, to forfeit His life for the salvation of all mankind and claim his place as King.  Would that we all could so willingly give of our lives for our fellow man, then would there truly be peace on earth... yes?

For those many non-Christians that wonder of the meaning of Palm Sunday, or Sunday of the Passion, I have included a link to Wikipedia for some elaboration:  Palm Sunday Explained .

I was blessed to catch a show, on the PBS series Nova, concerning the history of the Hebrew Bible, the first five books of the Old Testament.  Of all the scripture in the Hebrew and Christian faith, these are the most contentious among biblical scholars.  These are the books that rely most on folk tale and hearsay, those stories passed from one person to the next, generation after generation.  Though there is much disagreement, as well, over much of the newer scripture due multiple translation, interpretation and transcription, over the last two thousand years, the first books were compiled from the early chicken scratch of a Hebrew language, the writing of which was in its infancy.  These books do little to bolster the reality of biblical scripture, and actually bring into question the very existence of a Jewish people during this early period.  The Nova series left us with the thought that the early scripture was simply a "fabrication" of a history, with intent to give credence to the Jews as a people and a nation.  Hey, don't wrinkle your nose at this; we all pad our resumes so we seem better than we are in hopes of getting a good position.  They were small fry in a pond full of big fish, who are we to judge? 

I am the first to call into question the validity of much scripture.  I am also the first to declare that questioning scripture does not invalidate the inherent meaning behind why it was written.  These were stories, true or not, I feel were written to give substance, and understanding, to a moral code for living life and guiding us along a righteous path to salvation in the next life and beyond.  The stories were written so the people of the time were able to identify with the message being taught.  That the message isn't perfect, is contradictory to other stories, or perhaps was simply a bedtime parable, is not as important as the message they were trying to relay.  Do not have faith in the Bible, as it is simply a book.  To do so would be to have faith in an object, an idol.  Have faith in the sweet, peaceful, message the Bible tries to impart.  Have faith in those messages that reflect the true spirit of the Christ who gave up His life for us all.

"But everyone who lined the streets had a different reason for waving those palms. Some were political activists; they'd heard Jesus had supernatural power, and they wanted him to use it to free Israel from Roman rule. Others had loved ones who were sick or dying. They waved branches, hoping for physical healing. Some were onlookers merely looking for something to do, while others were genuine followers who wished Jesus would establish himself as an earthly king. Jesus was the only one in the parade who knew why he was going to Jerusalem – to die. He had a mission, while everyone else had an agenda."

-- Bill Hybels, senior pastor of Willow Creek Community Church

This Sunday of the Passion, think about your path; think about your own mission.  First of all, do you even have a path, much less a mission?  If not, why not?  What selfish reason have you come up with to excuse your lack of drive to do anything meaningful for your fellow man?  If you do have a path and a mission, is it truly a selfless mission?  Is it forward your personal agenda, or His?  And, finally, ask who you condemn.  Who do you judge in the stead of the Lord?  What egotistical excuse do you use to claim the right to stand in judgment over another for the master of us all?

As we approach Easter, and the rising of the Christ, we should take stock of our actions.  There are many evil people in the world, killing the righteous of many faiths, and yet we still see the "righteous" among us condemning those homosexuals wishing to know Christ, and a peaceful Islam trying to live down the atrocities being committed by heretics in their name.  Religions still fail due to the segregation of their own faiths represented by sects disagreeing on basic interpretations of peace, love, understanding, and tolerance; disagreeing on the concept of the one God.  These are the desired precepts of a humanity that that will forever be so unobtainable until we learn to shun the segregation we seem to practice in every aspect of our lives.  

Perhaps we should work more on coming together, and less on segregation.  Perhaps we need to begin celebrating our peaceful cultural diversity and start trying to eradicate the evil that threatens peace in our world.  To quote the famous plea of Rodney King during the Los Angeles riots of 1992, "Can we all get along?"  Maybe, if we tried.

It's just a thought.

"When Jesus entered Jerusalem the people spread their clothes in the way and strewed branches before Him in order to do Him honour. Jesus rode upon an ass, according to the word of the prophet. His feet did not touch the road which was decorated in His honour. It was the ass which trod upon the garments and the branches. But the ass would have been very foolish to have been uplifted on that account; for the road really was not decked in its honour! It would be just as foolish if those who bear Christ to men were to think anything of themselves because of what men do to them for the sake of Jesus."

-- Sadhu Sundar Singh (1889-1929), Indian Christian missionary

Note:  You might find the story of Sadhu Sundar Singh of some interest.  I have included this link, if you have the time.

Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."

The Narrow Path

"There is nothing in machinery, there is nothing in embankments and railways and iron bridges and engineering devices to oblige them to be ugly.  Ugliness is the measure of imperfection."

-- H.G. Wells (1866-1946), author

Is ugliness "the measure of imperfection," as Wells would have us believe?  Is the fact that something is ugly necessarily demanding imperfection?  Look at Wells' own statement and we can immediately see the flaw in his argument.  Everything he mentions was designed for function, not one of which necessarily demanded beauty, but all of which functions perfectly for the job intended.  Form and function is no guarantee of beauty, nor does the lack of beauty guarantee imperfection of function.

I look at the photo I took, above, in the engine room of the USS Alabama, and I see much beauty in the starkly industrial brass work, steel, and iron.  Perfection?  The USS Alabama still floats as a monument, and museum, to its mission and the sailors who manned her; imperfectly beautiful in her design to perfectly accomplish her task.  Today, any fantasy writer cum artist would probably be right at home in the bowels of this ship, while they hammered out some glorious "steampunk" novel or painting, all the while marveling at all the "ugliness" around them and thinking to themselves how beautifully perfect a muse this retro, industrial, machine look is for their art.

Sometimes we tend to narrow our path forward as we search for some illusive sense of beauty and "perfection" in our lives.  At times perfection is necessary in order to meet certain parameters required for efficiency.  But, beauty, per the examples Wells uses, is not necessary for this efficient perfection, any more than perfection is a necessity for beauty.  Whereas perfection is gauged objectively, beauty is subjective.  Beauty, after all, is in the eye of the beholder.

“No human face is exactly the same in its lines on each side, no leaf perfect in its lobes, no branch in its symmetry. All admit irregularity as they imply change; and to banish imperfection is to destroy expression, to check exertion, to paralyze vitality. All things are literally better, lovelier, and more beloved for the imperfections which have been divinely appointed, that the law of human life may be Effort, and the law of human judgment, Mercy.”

-- John Ruskin (1819-1900), art critic, draughtsman, social thinker

We should be wary of narrowing the path we tread.  The narrower our path gets, the more apt we are to spend most of our time watching where we step, instead of enjoying our journey.  The longer we travel the narrow path, the more apt we are to forget the reason for our journey.  But, if you keep your eye only on the prize, life will pass by around you without notice.  Be aware of the prize and continue to move toward it on a broad path, casually gathering the keys necessary to claim it along the way.  If you just speed toward the goal you may find you arrive without a clue, that is, if you understand you've arrived at all.  If you arrive without any understanding, it would be like your first time rebuilding an engine and realizing you've left the tools behind.  If you arrive without a clue, well, like my uncle says, you'd feel like a pig looking at a wristwatch.  Unfortunately, you'd probably look like one too.

We get nowhere without focusing on the task at hand, but if we become too focused we can find ourselves short and argumentative with those around us.  If we don't recognize this in ourselves and let it go unabated, we run the real risk of alienating even those that care.

“Instead of focusing on how much you can accomplish, focus on how much you can absolutely love what you're doing.”

-- Leo Babauta, Time magazine "Top 25" blogger

Personally, I think it is good to keep your path broad, the majority of the time, staying aware of everything, and everyone, around you.  In this way you won't miss the love, camaraderie, and beauty along your journey and you won't adopt a self-centered attitude where, everything is always about you but you're the only one that doesn't know it.  Try to un-focus on your goals often enough that you don't become a slave to them.  Take this down time to make sure you don't forget just why you have these goals.  It is never about what the goals are, but why you have them.  For instance, it does little good to alienate those you love while you're focused entirely on goals for those you love.  Doing this, you will find yourself achieving your goals and having no one to share them with, or to appreciate your achievements.  What fun.

"Too much self-centered attitude, you see, brings, you see, isolation. Result: loneliness, fear, anger. The extreme self-centered attitude is the source of suffering."

-- Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama

A broader path with less focus may not be perfect, it may not even lead to perfection,  and it may even be ugly.  Sometimes perfection isn't all it's cracked up to be, and sometimes ugly can be perfection in disguise. Like the old battleship, she may not be pretty to look at, but piss her off and she will be beautiful to watch as she kicks some butt.

I think everyone needs to get comfortable with the fact that sometimes life can be much happier and robust if you let a whole bunch of ugly into it.  As long as the ugly is good, what can it really hurt?  You might even find that, the less attractive, it can be just what the doctor ordered.  It, or they, just might just get the job done.  Who's to say that, less than attractive, person giving you the once over, might just be what you've been looking for in all the wrong places.  Hey, sometimes love ain't pretty, but it works.  Broaden those horizons!

"Beautiful people are not always good, but good people are always beautiful."

-- Ali ibn Abi Talib (599-661)

Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."

On Being Human

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human

Note:  Please review the link below the image (above) prior to reading this post.

“Before you call yourself a Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu or any other theology, learn to be human first.”

-- Shannon L. Adler, author

How funny to read a definition of human. If we were sending information into space as an introduction of our species to an alien culture, we could not choose a more one sided description that the one on Wikipedia.org. Even been to a restaurant and wonder what moron wrote the critique for it in the local paper as he suckers you into bad food and even worse service at the dirtiest place in town? Welcome to Earth! Don't drink the water, and certainly don't breathe the air, we have clubs for that. Watch out for bacteria and viruses, paying particular attention to not acquiring any immune deficiency. Please do not probe us, as we probe ourselves quite enough already and will be happy to share any physiological data you'd like. If you absolutely must probe, we have clubs for that as well.

The Wikipedia description is us, don't get me wrong, I would hope we could live up to all of the best of what we can be.  That is what this description gives, the best of us.  It's just too bad that we aren't.  It conveniently leaves out all the rest of "us."  Not mentioned, for instance, is the nose picking, crotch and butt scratching, belching, farting, back stabbing, war mongering, litigious, selfish, emotionally and socially handicapped, religiously heretical, morally corrupt, physically obese disasters that the majority of us are.  It leaves out drug abuse, pornography, sadomasochism, and human trafficking.  If aliens actually come looking for any of this, it occupies most street corners in every part of the world.  If they still have a hard time finding it, we probably have clubs celebrating it.  

"In this century we have made remarkable material progress, but basically we are the same as we were thousands of years ago. Our spiritual needs are still very great."

-- Tenzin Gyatso, His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama

My goodness, when the pope finds it necessary to is chew out the Vatican cardinals for losing sight of Christianity's moral and spiritual ball, where does that leave the rest of us?  When Islam has fallen to the level of child murderers, rapists, and terrorist while excusing it all in the name of Allah, is anything sacred?  What does it say about us when our religious and spiritual leaders are as, or more, corrupt than the common man, and when we excuse heresy as long as it's for "all the right reasons."

None of this should come as no surprise though.  Most of us act like we're still walking with knuckles dragging the ground.  When we speak, we grunt, several times, just to ensure our first grunt was understood.  Leaders of nations have front people that have to explain what their leaders really meant to say because the leaders are too stupid to form a cogent thought which would be wasted on the masses which are too stupid to understand it anyway.  We look physically different, but basically we remain the same ape we sprang from.  We deny we are capable of losing the civilized facade at a moment's notice and reverting to the barbaric animal we so diligently try to either ignore or sit on, failing miserably at each attempt.

Monkeys are superior to men in this: When a monkey looks into a mirror, he sees a monkey.

-- Malcolm de Chazal (1902-1981), writer, artist, visionary

Man's inherent ego far surpasses his attempts to show any modicum of humility, and none of this is mentioned when we discuss what a human is.  I think this is because no one, not one person on this planet, actually knows why a human is.  We can try to explain it scientifically or religiously, but it is all just an educated guess.  We really do not know.

“Being human means asking the questions of one's own being and living under the impact of the answers given to this question. And, conversely, being human means receiving answers to the questions of one's own being and asking questions under the impact of the answers.”

-- Paul Tillich (1886-1965), theologian, Christian philosopher, "Systematic Theology, Vol 1"

We're going to look pretty naive to our alien visitors when we ask if they know why we are.  The saving grace will be when they come back with, "Hell, we were hoping you would tell us why we are."  This will probably be the second prior to finding out they have an insatiable appetite for slow roasted bipedal red meat and head cheese.  Name one instance where a technologically advanced culture did not subjugate the lesser advanced one.  Until we know differently, we must assume alien life is at least on par with this world, which means we have to also assume survival of the fittest (which I believe was also left out as a specific reason for humans rising to the top of the current food chain).  If they have technology far advanced of ours, how much subjugating have they been doing?

The reason why the world lacks unity, and lies broken and in heaps, is, because man is disunited with himself.

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882), writer, poet, Transcendentalist

In 1920 humans created the League of Nations to maintain world peace in the aftermath of World War I.  In 1945 the ineffectual League was replaced by the inept and ineffectual United Nations.  The combined 95 years of their existence, there has been found no peace and, if mankind's current activity is any indication, there will be no peace in our time.  Yet, we continue to deceive ourselves that there is hope.  We do this because our ability to create is at least as great as our ability to destroy.

We have aptitude for creation of such beauty which flies in the face of our destructive capacity.  We stand in awe of nature's own beauty, the ability nature has to create and destroy, and create again; the wonder of constant rebirth in the face of disasters, the world abides all.  It would seem as if we seek to emulate nature in all ways; to fashion our abilities after those of nature, not realizing we are not locked into the natural order of the physical universe.

"To make any future that we dreamt up real requires creative scientists, engineers, and technologists to make it happen.  If people are not within your midst who dream about tomorrow - with the capacity to bring tomorrow into the present - then the country might as well just recede back into the cave because that's where we're headed."

-- Neil deGrasse Tyson, astrophysicist, cosmologist, author

We have the ability, with our minds, to overcome our capacity to destroy and rise above the dark side of us.  Our minds can move beyond the physical, beyond that which is possible, and dream things impossible and beyond our reach.  With everything we define as human and all the reality that comes with it, our ability to think beyond the physical world and imagine the unimaginable, even to imagine that which is nothing, this also makes us human.  I think our understanding and use of this ability will eventually make us who we will be.

If we really want to know what makes us human we need to answer the question of why we are.  Why are we here?  Why do we exist?  Why were we brought into being as the weakest, yet most intelligent being on this planet?  Why were we endowed with this intelligence that helped us survive against all odds?  This need to answer the question of why is what drive us and, perhaps, this is the short definition of what being human is - this unquenchable need to know why.

"Every human being is a repeated question asked to the spirit of the Universe." 

-- Mihai Eminescu (1850-1889), Romanian poet, novelist

Why are we here?  We have to be.  Why do we seek that which cannot be found?  Maybe it's because we must.  In this realization, is there a possible truth that all life strives for the same knowledge?  That, from the most basic form of life, we constantly strive to become more than what we are, and as we grow in knowledge the focus of our search narrows to a specific goal, perhaps to be one with the universe around us?  In this realization, would the fact exist that there is no human, no extraterrestrial alien, no black or white, Christian or Muslim, there is just life, we simply are, and we find, after all, this life is what we ultimately make of it, and the most we can hope for is to be human?

Being human is easy, it is who we are.  I think to be more than human is an aspiration we may only realize when we all discover humility, and an answer to the question of the reason why.

I wonder.

Thirty spokes
meet in the hub.
Where the wheel isn't
is where it's useful. 

Hollowed out,
clay makes a pot.
Where the pot's not
is where it's useful. 

Cut doors and windows
to make a room.
Where the room isn't,
there's room for you. 

So the profit in what is
is in the use of what isn't.

Laozi (604-531 BC) Tao Te Ching: Chapter 11

Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."