Sermon for Sunday - June 29, 2014: Communication

"The more elaborate our means of communication, the less we communicate."

-- Jason Priestley 

Communication is a confusing mistress.  Written communication is the worst.  We used to be taught how to write so people understood what we were trying to say.  Of course this quality writing usually took the voluminous pages of War and Peace to accomplish unless you were a gifted communicator of which few really were.  Social networking sites are the worst, and I truly believe they are a tool of evil.  Business networking sites are much better, but even a religious and spiritual networking site can fall prey to all of the usual ills; sex, politics, lies, and predatory members.  Want to destroy a friendship or a marriage?  Get onto a social networking site, especially one that lets you post volumes of photos.  Sooner or later something will show up that shouldn't. 

"The most important thing in communication is hearing what is said."

-- Peter Drucker

Telephonic, or verbal, communication was better than written by leaps and bounds, but misunderstanding still arose when the listener wasn't able to see facial expressions.  Jokes became insults, and apologies became hollow gestures to placate someone that hopefully would forget the incident before you saw them next.  Let's not forget the camera application that still allows those immediate photos of the wife in bed with the best friend to be put on the internet before the friend can even put his pants back on causing immediate destruction of life as we know it, and all for the sake of "better" living through communication.  Really?

"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug."

-- Mark Twain

Remember when we used to get together for lunch, or drinks, or for a walk in the park, and discuss life face-to-face?  There was an immediate ability to see misunderstanding and clarify it.  There was an ability to offer physical contact when you saw that someone was emotionally fragile and needed a hug.  You could tell when someone made a faux pas, an error in judgment, misspoke, or was seriously embarrassed over something they had just said.  There was very little room for miscommunication that could not be corrected on the spot.

"Any problem, big or small, within a family, always seems to start with bad communication.  Someone isn't listening."

-- Emma Thompson

There is nothing better than verbal communication, except for face-to-face.  One of the difficulties in writing a blog is getting across your point without pissing someone off because they misunderstood what you were trying to put across; they take it personally.  You don't have to use their name, just using an incident as as example can light this fuse.  Once the supposed damage had occurred, what is to be done about it?  Human nature would evidence that even an apology would fall on deaf ears at this point.  Trying to explain or reason the comment would either make the victim feel diminished or dig you in deeper than you were.  For the most part, this is a no win situation.

"Electric communication will never be a substitute for the face of someone who with their soul encourages another person to be brave and true."

-- Charles Dickens

A  bad outcome should be mitigated if the offended individual is a dear friend or family member, or at least that's what one would hope, but it is not always the case.  Even good friends, that you would expect more of, can be deeply seeded in their own conviction that they expected more of you, and they would probably be right.  One should consider everyone's feelings before posting writing something for others to ponder.  When I consider that my blog exist to incite controversy, this seems like a self-defeating concept.  I might as well not write if I have to worry about everyone's feelings.  So, the other option is to let the post hang out there like a neon flag and just deal with the fallout, hoping against hope that at least your friends and family will understand what you are trying to accomplish.  

Good luck with that.

Note:  In a perfect world, I would leave you to ponder something perfect, but it is not a perfect world so I leave you with a pipe dream from Steven Covey.  Don't we all wish this were true?  What we are should speak volumes when one is considering what we say.  Speakers are supposed to consider their audience when writing a presentation.  I think the audience should show as much consideration with the speaker.  As an example, if the speaker is a conservative and you hear a liberal comment, before jumping to the conclusion that he is a liberal, try thinking that perhaps you don't know enough about him to judge.

It just might be on you.

"In the last analysis, what we are communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do."

-- Stephen Covey