It's Complicated

“All you really need to know for the moment is that the universe is a lot more complicated than you might think, even if you start from a position of thinking it's pretty damn complicated in the first place.”

-- Douglas Adams (1952-2001), author, scriptwriter

It’s complicated, right? You know that going in, but you do it anyway. You tell yourself nothing good can come of it, and you’re right, as always. Always right.  At least it seems that way. It’s a curse you joke about, except when you don't; those times when discretion dictates you keep your mouth shut.   Keeping your mouth shut not being a strong point.  It's about honesty; no holds barred and no games or expectations, no bullshit; you lay right out there, bearing it all, like raw meat for the carnivores to feast upon; those members of the League of the Perpetually Offended - the carnivores. It’s isn't complicated, doing the right thing, and yet, it is.

“I’ve yet to see any problem, however complicated, which when you looked at it the right way didn’t become still more complicated.”

-- Poul Anderson (1926-2001), author

You spend untold years simplifying your life. Years tearing down the old and building anew; turning crap to paradise; paring dozens of created realities down to a manageable few, and those few exist primarily because of the necessary and welcomed intrusion of friends and family. Even with these few accepted "complications" you still feel secure enough to lay it all bare.

You stand there emotionally naked, arms outstretched, face toward the sky; total supplication. You lower your arms and relax. Your breathing is minimal, if noticeable at all. Total relaxation.  Meditation to the point of post-hypnotic trance.  There it is, like Mary Magdalene; a complication not to be ignored. Is what you see a hiccup in God’s plan or a hiccup that God planned? Test or treat; gift or curse; pain or pleasure; threshold, doorway, or dare? Complicated.

“Strange how complicated we can make things just to avoid showing what we feel!”

-- Erich Maria Remarque (1898-1970), novelist

Your brow furrows in consternation.  You opt for bed and sleep. But, sleep is elusive this night as you toss and turn, trying to shake feelings and emotions which insinuate themselves, like ghosts, back into your well-oiled machine, and then, finally, hours later, oblivion. But, oblivion is short lived as a recurring nightmare once again comes forth to haunt you with imagined moans and screams, visions of dying masses falling before some nuclear devastation which exists only in the minds of the planners. You awake to find yourself sitting upright in bed with the tail-end of a scream muffled behind your closed mouth. Perspiration envelopes you like high humidity in a dense jungle. You look at the phone for the briefest of moments. Is anybody out there?  You don't really expect a call, from anyone. Tears or perspiration?  You use the sheet to wipe your face.  Sleep?  As usual, sleep has gone.  It's still dark out.

Complicated.

“Some things in life are too complicated to explain in any language.”

-- Haruki Murakami, author

You step to the window and gaze out on the moonlit street; quiet, peaceful except for the cicadas in the oaks, an occasional hoot from the owls. Another night in paradise and all is secure, here, in America, the United States. You find your way to the other room, to the desk, feeling for the power button to the laptop. 

While the computer goes through the motions, you return to the bedroom. The clock says 3:30. Washing the sheets is a fleeting thought; too early for it.  You pull the sheet and the bedspread to the top of the bed and flatten them with one hand, pulling the sheet tight and tucking the edge under the mattress; hospital corners.  An easy bed to make, especially when you sleep on top of the only half that's slept in... and for only half the night. You mentally try bouncing a quarter on the spread.  Failing that military exercise, you look at the kitchen. Might as well make coffee. Coffee isn't complicated, right? 

No filters. Crap.

It's complicated. 

“I'm THAT complicated, mysterious, yet content with the "simple" things in life. Don't try to understand me; you won't figure me out. But you're free to like me the way I am.”

-- Marwa Ayad, author

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.