Sunday Thought - December 8, 2013: More on Losing Friends

Last week a friend of mine asked me what I'd been asking myself for months.  What was I going to do every morning before work when all my friends at the business in the next building vacated it and moved an hour up the highway?  The question occupied my mind as a defense mechanism against dealing with the real question, how to deal with the loss of so much family. 

Friday was the last day for everyone to show up at the facility next door.  On Monday they will report to work at the new location.  This realization, that Monday would be a marked shift in reality, was driven home Friday afternoon when Gayle and Erin hunted me down to give me a last hug.  This "expected" loss kept me tossing in bed until 2:00 this morning, when I finally turned on the light, fluffed up two pillows, and put pen to paper for today's Sunday Thought.  I could wordsmith the post for grammar, but I think it reads better the way it went down.

One year, five...ten; five passes like one, twenty like ten; a stitch in time, the blink of an eye.  Children grow up so fast and friends become memories. 

We enter each other's lives, cross each other's paths not realizing - no, that's not right...not comprehending the affect our interaction will have on each other, how our reality will change, whether we want it to or not.  For some this change will be ignored or be accepted as the normal course of life.  There is nothing normal about human interaction.  It isn't like beating a piece of metal into submission at a forge.  Ours is a ballet of emotion, or a game of chess.  In the workplace, especially when you are packed like sardines into cubes, we e create with each other a subtle closeness that can continue unrealized until it is lost.

There exists mystery in this group of 300 odd souls.  The quiet woman, keeping to herself most of the time, yet her knowledge of CPR will save the heart attack waiting to happen that is munching the Philly cheesesteak three workstations down.  The young man across the room, struggling to keep up with his workload, will pull two co-workers from a burning building, and go back for more.  There hundreds of other possibilities that surround us in this environment.

The obvious impact we have on each other, daily.  A person that whistles, hums, or sings, always with a smile or a joke to lighten the mood or brighten the day.  The cartoon on a sticky note, left on a monitor to wish someone a beautiful day and remind them they are thought of.  The simple act of a hug to say you care and love having them on your path, if even for a brief time.  For others it is the act of playing games to get ahead or garner favor from supervisors, and back-stabbing for personal gain.  But, even in this immaturity there exists tremendous impact and the possibility for others around them to grow through the act of understanding and forgiveness.

The building is empty now.  The furniture is being moved out.  Soon, cleaners will come in to make it presentable so they can turn the building back over for the next tenant.  I will look in the windows on Monday and see, nothing.  Everyone will be gone.  I have knowledge of the hole in my heart I have to fill with memories of the myriad of people I have known and cared about for twenty years.  Is this what it felt like for some of them, when I retired from here and went to Mexico to live?  I wonder.

So many people have come and gone.  Some have suffered debilitating illness, mental infirmity, death or stroke.  I can't help but think of Amy and Rick, Lodi, Kathy, and others.  There are those that married, had babies, and those that moved on to other careers.

Are we aware of how we affect each other?  How we can change someone's path, every day, every moment, with just a smile, a kind word or thoughtful gesture?  How we become different than the day before, better than we were, for the interaction with those with whom we come into daily contact?

I wonder, if everyone were to gather around each morning in a circle, holding hands for a quiet moment of reflection, would they comprehend their meaning to each other, their value to the group?  Or, is this something that we're too busy to understand until it is gone or until we are too old and are left with only cherished memories? 

I look at the stranger and see my friend, the old man and see my child.  I look into the eyes of a baby and, for a brief moment, feel as if I've touched the face of creation.  How powerful we humans are.  How meaningful and necessary we are to each other, each day and for the rest of our lives.  Our happiness is the comprehension of this value; love is the understanding of it.

Monday will be hard.