Sunday Thought - December 29, 2013: A Calm Before the Storm

"Great events make me quiet and calm; it is only trifles that irritate my nerves."        --  Queen Alexandrina Victoria

It’s the calm before the storm, this feeling of something about to go horribly wrong.

The feeling you get as you stand a military watch, listening to the crickets and the birds, the bees doing their slow inventory of each blossom.  You light your cigarette and watch the tip glow red as you take the first full drag of smoke and notice the sound of nature has decreased to that of a solitary cricket chirping.  That cricket also stops and your mind registers the total silence with a feeling of water instantly turning to ice somewhere in the back recesses of your brain.  You can almost hear the ice crack and splinter as it forms.  Your eyes look up from the glowing embers of tobacco as the short hairs on the back of your neck begin to rise.  You continue to hold the smoke in your lungs, afraid to let it out and give your position away even though you've presented yourself as an obvious target. Slowly your hand moves down to the safety switch on your weapon.  There is an audible click as you flip it to the off position; it makes you wince in the surrounding silence as your mind transforms the otherwise small sound into the loud reverberating crack of a thick branch being snapped, a sound that seems to echo forever before it finally fades.  There is an immediate self-admonishment that you should have peed when you had the chance.  A light breeze from behind brings the smell urine and stale sweat.  Your lungs scream for a breath so you close your eyes and slowly exhale the smoke as your mind processes acknowledgment of a fact, and a mistake; the stale sweat and urine isn’t yours, and you’re facing the wrong direction.

A roll of thunder sounds like a distant klaxon; a gentle warning that danger is upon you.

There is no point to the story; or is there?  Can a person find a moment for quiet and calm amidst the unfolding of "great events?"  Is quiet and calm necessarily a good thing?  Can we see how "trifles" might be an irritant to one's nerves?  And what if, upon recognizing all of this, we find ourselves headed down the wrong path, facing the wrong direction, with danger coming from behind? 

I would say this is anybody's life.  Maybe not day to day, but I think we all can identify with the person standing watch.  We all have that inner guard, out at the perimeter, standing watch.  It makes you feel safer when you aren't alone.  I think this is why we bond with friends, why we couple up and have family.  It is even harder when you're out on your own, on the streets.  You can become hardened, distrustful, and suspicious.

I have met folks like this, most recently at our breakfasts for those in need on Saturdays.  I look on it as a sad reality.  I think it would be a waste of time to try and change their attitude, and I think it would be a mistake until they can change their circumstance.  Their attitude is for survival in a harsh environment of outdoor living, social condemnation, and survival of the fittest.

What is your opinion of the "soldier" standing watch?  Do we assume this person was a soldier?  Or, could this person just be homeless, with a rifle or handgun for protection.  For that matter, this could be a wealthy rancher out riding the fence on the "north pasture" for a couple of days as he checks his property.  It could be anybody.  It could be real, or it could be all in our mind as we find our "inner guard" getting a bit too comfortable.

Is there a point to the story?  I don't know.  It just came to me while I was sitting here, my "thought" for Sunday. 

By the way, did you know Queen Victoria's first name was Alexandrina?  Hell, I didn't even know Victoria was her last name!  Silly Brits...

Have a marvelous Sunday, and may God bless.