Loss of a Loved One: Part 1

"How we deal with death is at least as important as how we deal with life, wouldn't you say?"

--  Admiral James T. Kirk

I have never been through it, so I wouldn’t know.  But, I would suspect that, as a survivor, this quote is even more important and to the point.  Things happen in our lives, some good, some bad, some seem to be emotionally devastating.  Some of us fight to recover, some of us never do, and some bury it down deep and press ahead while they carry an unstable emotional time bomb around waiting for it to go off.

 

Grief is an emotion we all have to deal with, sooner or later, and few are ever prepared for.  It would be like preparing for a wave to hit the beach you’re standing on.  How big is the wave?  We’ll let you know when it hits, but since you can’t swim it matters little. 

One can empathize and sympathize, but our grief is our own.  Our grief is as specific to us our finger prints.  No one can feel what we feel because, well, they aren’t us.  To say, I know what you’re going through, even if I did go through it, would be nonsense.  Of course I don’t, I’m not you.  Your hurt is not my hurt, your loss not my loss, and it shouldn’t be.  Our differences define who we are.

It is enough to for us to let you know, we are here for you.  It is enough to stand with you and offer comfort where we can, support where we must, and to remind you that we love you.  You must, above all else, let out what you feel.  That you write what you feel relieves some of the emotional pressure and is the beginning of healing; just remember that healing is not forgetting.  Never forget.

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."

--Headstone in Ireland

For those never having experienced the absolute joy that was Leo Buscaglia, I highly recommend the read.  If you can find the video series, so much the better.  After you have read or watched this marvelous orator, share the experience with others.  They will surely thank you for it.  He will make you live each and every moment of your life.

"I know for certain that we never lose the people we love, even to death.  They continue to participate in every act, thought, and decision we make."

--Leo Buscaglia