Holier Than Thou?

The question was recently put to me: "What sparked your path, your current spiritual journey? Because in all the years that I have known you - this had not been a topic for us.  I am just curious as to what got you going in this direction?"

What convinced me to switch from a promising major in psychology, with offers of letters of recommendation from professors to admissions at San Jose State and Stanford, to a questionable career in Military Intelligence?  And, why did I stay for almost 23 years, eventually being involved with plotting nuclear destruction as a deterrent?  Why did I stay when most of the people I worked alongside cross-trained into other fields offering better promotion opportunities?  Why did I let it my military career destroy my marriage?  Why did I let plotting nuclear destruction, while trying to protect millions of innocent women and children, finally get to me?  Yadda, yadda, yadda...  There is no end to the questions concerning the direction our lives take.

What got me going in this particular direction, on this particular path?  I guess when you hold the lives of millions of innocent women and children in your hands, it can have an effect.  In my case, I had to forgive myself for those things done in my career.  I had to forgive myself for things I did to my family and my friends.

If one has to have a turning point, for me it was probably the ever confrontational, deeply faithful, Christians holding their Bible up to me as proof of their love of God and constantly asking me where I stood.  They seem to use their "good" book as their sword and shield while they judged me, and damned me to hell for all eternity, for daring to question this "good" book, the Holy Bible.

Love of God?  How dare they question my faith?  For me to place my immortal soul on the line to protect our way of life, while ensuring the weapons we deployed would hit their targets with minimum loss to the innocent lives of the enemy civilian populations, says nothing of my love of God?  To let this immoral anchor weigh on my conscience with sleepless nights which would eventually destroy my marriage and my family, says nothing of my love of God?  I think it speaks volumes.  I think it speaks to why I have more faith in mankind than many of these, so called, faithful.  I think it speaks to why I can so easily forgive hypocrites for their trespasses as quickly as they seem able to condemn me, and why my love does not require faith in a book, with questionable origins, to strengthen a belief in God for which said God is already aware, according to this same book of these very same, condemning, Christians.  "There is no one righteous, not even one."

Who is holier than thou?

Not one of us is better than the other.  This is an egotistical concept never set forth by Jesus Christ, or by God.  We were all supposed to be equal in the eyes of God.  We were to help each other on our journey, not force our beliefs on others and make them follow us.  Life is all about making our own choices.  Who would dare question a person's faith without first knowing the person's life?  I condemn the suicide bomber only for being too eager to believe the heretics in their own midst, for being too eager, like many Christians, to drink the refreshing Kool-Aid set in front of them by people with their own agendas.  These personal agendas of death and destruction do not reflect the philosophies of their prophet or their God.

If a show of faith is required, let it be my faith in that my path has always been in front of me.  It is a direction I was already moving in.  My spiritual journey awoke in me while I was in grade school, at St. Angela's, when, at the age of ten, I began questioning the church.  As I got older, in high school, I began questioning the Bible.  In college, I found the Asian philosophies, and have been damned by Christians for believing that Christ did as well.  I registered as a Buddhist on my dog tags in the military, then as a Taoist, then as "No Preference."  I continued to evolve, and question, and learn.

Evolving did not invalidate my faith in the existence of God, of a supreme force in the universe, in something greater than me.  I think this is why we were given the ability to evolve and to ask, "Why?"  This evolution of personal philosophy, of growth, has strengthened my belief and my faith, not diminished it.

No, my path has always been set in front of me.  I believe God places a path in front of each of us and gives us the tools to find it and follow it.  As all roads lead to Rome, so each of our paths all lead to the same destination.  The fact that these questions are put to me concerning my path, my spiritual journey, and my direction, is proof that there are others set on their own personal path.

Perhaps the questions being put to me are my fault for not making them a topic for us, for all of us, earlier.  It is never too late, there is always time, if not in this life, then in the next. 

It is not a race, the finish line will always be there.  Let us walk our paths together and learn to laugh and love...and believe!

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.