Questioning Respect, Models, Selfish, Success, Verbs, and Good

 

“Friendship- my definition- is built on two things. Respect and trust. Both elements have to be there. And it has to be mutual. You can have respect for someone, but if you don't have trust, the friendship will crumble.”

-- Stieg Larsson

What do you call a person who thinks he is respectful?

Confused.

Are needs determined by the meaning of one's life?

“Needs” are what is needed to continue living. On the other hand, “wants” are determined by the meaning of one’s life.

What harm can violence do to people?

Monetary, property, physical, and death all come to mind.

Which is more important: being loved or respected by your parents? Why?

Being loved. Being respected is something you have to work for. Love should come naturally. Even if there is no reason to respect your opinions, you know you are always loved by good parents.

How do you handle differences in values or life goals within a relationship?

Tolerance, understanding, a good friendship, and love… if necessary.

If people are happy, are they more likely to be violent towards you?

If people are truly happy, the last thing they want to do is visit violence toward you. Violence toward someone, especially if they are undeserving, is contrary to true happiness. If they are violent, they aren’t truly happy.

“Happy people are those who use a lower threshold in order to label an event positive.”

-- David Niven

How can leaders be encouraged to become role models for learning and development within their teams?

If they are good leaders, they’ll do what they’re told. Tell them to “teach and develop” within the teams. It will happen or they’ll lose their position as leaders.

What is the difference between the meaning and importance of life?

The “meaning” of life is to learn. The “importance” of life is to live.

I have a perfect life, so why am I depressed?

If you have the “perfect life” then you are truly happy. But, you’re depressed, so the life you’ve labeled as “perfect” has some issues. If it has issues, it isn’t as “perfect” as you claim. I suggest some introspection might give you a clue to the depression.

Is it considered selfish to feel good when others are happy because of one's actions?

If you can make people feel happy because of your selfless actions, the more the better.

How do you know if you have a good life?

You are truly happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. If you want to have a “good life” all you need do is choose to have one.

Is love purchasable?

“Love” depends on how much money you have. “True love” depends on what two people feel for one another.

“If you try to buy love, you will go bankrupt trying to possess it.”

-- Matshona Dhliwayo

Is it considered selfish to stay with a manipulative partner?

I consider it to be more “submissive” than selfish.

How do you balance self-care with the pressure to always look perfect in today's society?

Decide what is more important, self-care or looking “perfect” (which is impossible). You may be able to look at a level of excellence, but you will never attain perfection. It is more important for an individual to exercise “self-care” than to strive for some “gold ring” that will garner them nothing but empty praise.

Reader comment: I soooo agree, Tony. Right on.

Are questions real?

Questions are as real as the answers to them.

What happened to you as a result of bullying?

I grew passed them. I confronted them, got my ass beat. Stood up for others who were being bullied, and got my ass beat again. I managed to graduate from high school. My experiences drove me to major in Psychology in college. I was drafted into the military and rated in the top 10% during testing. I was offered a position in Air Force Intelligence and served there for 23 years. None of this would have happened if some shit hadn’t bullied me. My fate was set, and I am very thankful.

Author's comment:  I still feel I have to defend myself. 

My reply:  I took judo in the service. Learn a martial art and you will probably never have to use it. One of the tenets is to walk away from violence unless you are forced into it. If you are, then you know you can win.

Why do I lie without thinking or deciding to just do it, even when I don’t want to or it’s not necessary?

You are a “habitual liar” in that you lie as a matter of habit, not out of necessity.

How do negative thoughts consume within a person (consume as in “eat them alive”)?

Negative thoughts have negative consequences. The more negativity, the more it affects the person. It eats at their psyche until they can’t function normally. They become nothing but a loss to themselves and society. There is so much positivity in people’s lives, but it gets crowded out by the negativity. People need to focus more on the positive aspects of life and ignore the negative aspects. People need to strive for true happiness always and in all things, regardless of their circumstances. It is a simple choice we all must make for our lives.

“It is not always possible to do away with negative thinking, but with persistence and practice, one can gain mastery over them so that they do not take the upper hand.”

-- Stephen Richards

How fast are you in creating your success?

That depends on the success. You can only grow as fast as the success will allow.

Is it common for men to become less cranky as they age?

As a man of 70, I can attest to this. The only time I get “cranky” is when I drive. I’m learning to calmly say, “Bless his little heart. It’s tough being an idiot.”

What is something that you desire, but your ego prevents you from obtaining?

Nothing that “propriety” hasn’t already prevented.

What are the priorities in a relationship?

Love, friendship, honesty, loyalty, and support. If one aspect is missing, the relationship is in dire trouble.

 Who would you last longer with?

Someone who has mutual positive feelings toward me.

What are the emotional factors that can make a man fall in love with a woman?

Isn’t “love” an emotion? Her personality would be a factor, but I would have to “love” it. Most “factors” are subservient to loving the person. So, for me, loving all of her is the only emotional factor that matters.

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”

-- Pablo Neruda

What is the correct use of the verb ‘he’ every day for the last week?

“He” is not a verb.

Why would a man say, “We need each other”?

He recognizes an aspect in someone else that he needs. He also recognizes a deficiency in the other person, that he has enough to make up for. So, for a man to make this statement, he recognizes that both of them can contribute to making a whole.

What is the solution to the race issue in America?

Not having a race issue in America. It is a choice. Make a good one.

Do you think atheists are mentally challenged?

No more than theists. Both have faith in a belief that they can’t prove, which makes sense. “Faith” is a belief in something for which there is little or no proof. The only proof any of us will have is when we die. If atheists are right, there will be nothing for either of them. If theists are right, there will be another life without the atheist naysayers. Technically, theists are “betting on the come.”

In terms of making love, what is most important to you?

Wood. Hardwood. And, perseverance in the face of failure.

Is Proverbs 14:23 "In all labour there is profit: but the talk of the lips tendeth only to penury" more "actions speak louder than words" or "Money talks and BS walks"?

Actions speak louder than words. Words only say what you want, but actions prove that you mean what you say. You can say that “money talks and bullshit walks,” but it isn’t as meaningful as “actions speak louder than words.”

“If your actions don't live up to your words, you have nothing to say.”

-- DaShanne Stokes

What is the saying "If it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is" referring to? Is there any truth to this statement? Why might something sound too good to be true?

It’s like saying, “The proof is in the pudding.” Listen to most of the Senators and Congressmen and you’ll get an ear full of shit that is too good to be true. After serving 23 years in the Intelligence field, you get to be pretty good at figuring out what is too good to be true, and what is too bad to be false.

You'd like to ask a question. Only you're a demon that needs to suck the blood out of me. Am I ready?

That would be the question, “Are you ready?”

What do you think would happen if God appeared and commanded us to stop fighting?

He would have to back it up with a threat, like if you lift a sword, your arm falls off. There will always be some idiot who will try to persevere in the face of guaranteed failure. There will be many one-armed idiots running around who didn’t believe the “Big Guy.” 

When do liars start to tell some truth?

Uh… when they aren’t lying? Is this another trick question?

When did you first realize that your thoughts and opinions were coming from your own mind? Is this a common experience?

When I first realized I didn’t hear it somewhere else. Unfortunately, most people believe everything they want to hear when everything they want to hear is bullshit. Most people are really that naive. They believe what they’re told because, God knows, politicians don’t lie. So, why would anyone else? 

Why should we have a purpose in life when all other animals live without a purpose?

All living organisms live with a purpose, even if that purpose is to survive.

“The purpose of life is to live; as long as one can.”

-- Abhaidev

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com