Questioning Infidelity, Toxic, Repetition, and Short Answers

“There are all kinds of ways for a relationship to be tested, even broken, some, irrevocably; it’s the endings we’re unprepared for.”

-- Katherine Owen

How can I deal with my wife being pregnant with another man, yet I still love her?

She, obviously, doesn’t love you. Don’t be a submissive father of someone else’s kid, and this won’t be the last hurrah. Divorce her ass and find a woman that can love you.

Why are scientists great at wasting people's time?

Any scientist, worth their salt, doesn’t have time to waste wasting other people’s time. They are intently focused on their projects.

Does a person who claims to have no weaknesses always tell the truth?

No, because all people have weaknesses. So, right there, they have lied.

What steps can you take today to strengthen the foundation of your relationship, fostering deeper understanding, trust, and connection with your partner?

Adding “honesty” to your “personal code of ethics” would seem to fill the bill. Honesty can cure a multitude of ills.

What are some ways to overcome envy that no one talks about?

Envy is nothing more than wanting what someone else has. You can’t get over this, but you can accept that you either have to work harder to get it, or it is what it is. I came to grips with envy years ago. I couldn’t afford much that I wanted, and all the ‘leggy” women were all taken, and, truth be known, I couldn’t afford them, either. I accept that it is what it is. I could try and change it. At 70 years of age, what’s the point? I am truly happy in my life.

Jealousy evolved to ensure the certainty of your investment in your partner - David M. Buss…Do you believe?

Oh, that is such bullshit. I invested in my partner and she “invested” in other people. Jealousy hasn’t evolved. It is the same as it has always been, and will always be.

“Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy - in fact, they are almost incompatible; one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.”

-- Robert A. Heinlein

What should I do if he is toxic and I don't want to leave him?

You will have to admit you have shortcomings. This will play out when you get hurt by his toxicity. But, then, it will be too late.

How can I be sure that what I see in the media is true?

If you do, you’re challenged. Most of what is seen is bullshit unless it is vetted by several other media outlets, and even that doesn’t make it true. Democrats, for instance, repeat bullshit until people start believing it. And, they are onto something, because most people do. Joe Biden’s election validated it.

What do you think are your strengths and weaknesses as a Filipino?

As a Filipino, I have no strengths. As for my weakness, I am not a Filipino. 

What are the five factors in psychology that attract people to others?

Good personality, a good shape, a handsome face, great legs, and a nice butt. I can’t speak to the men, though. Women are my forte. Psychology? That simply sucks. 

Is there a healthy way to take responsibility for your actions, while pointing out to the other person that they did the same thing? Or should I not mention it?

Honesty is always the best policy. Take responsibility for your actions, and point out that they did the same thing. I have no filter. They don’t get a free pass, that’s bullshit. And they really don’t get to call me down for what they also did. That’s extra bullshit. 

My reasonable question, for those of you who are supposed to be professionals, is why are you asking questions?

At 70 years of age, asking a question would be too late. I answer questions, the best I can, or I wing it. At my age, winging it can be a lot of fun.

“If you are not living with deliberate intention, you're winging it.”

-- Brant Menswar

How do you feel when someone keeps repeating over and over again the same questions? Are you grated on this sort of person?

Any question has the right to be answered. Asking it more than once, however, brings the intelligence in question or the person asking. After a while, you learn to ignore ignorance.

Can you make somebody accept something? If yes, how?

Weak-minded people are the easiest to “accept” something that they normally wouldn’t. Interrogation techniques would make someone stronger to “accept” what they know is not true, just to stop the interrogation. You can’t make a person accept what they know isn’t real, but wearing them down over time will make them “accept” what they know isn’t true, just to stop the interrogation.

Why is it that you can replace material things but not people?

People are “one of a kind” while material things are pretty much the same.

Were you devastated that it turned out you were wrong to have married, or did you have a suspicion at the time of your marriage that it wouldn’t last?

Devastated. I tried for 20 years to make it work, and she tried for 20 years to destroy it. I finally gave up and divorced her after I found out she filed police reports on me for abuse that never happened. I never hit a woman in my life, and beating a cinder block wall pretty much toughened my knuckles. She lied and cheated, and I had enough. The topping was when she told me she never loved me, she only used me to escape her home life. I’ve been with my girlfriend for 20 years, and I have never touched her in anger. 

What "perfection" do young boys face?

None. “Perfection” is unattainable. They can be varying levels of “excellence,” but not a “perfect” human.

Iris Murdoch wrote that "Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real." What is the power of love that changes you?

True love is something rare. It is, in fact, a “difficult realization” that you will give your life to save the one you love. This is the power of “true” love, and this is how it can change you. Love has been the cause of wars and art, and both have changed to world.

“True love is usually the most inconvenient kind.”

-- Kiera Cass 

And.. a butt load of short answers:

Have you ever had sex with a co-worker?

Yes.

Why is it often said that "love hurts" when falling in love? In what ways can love cause pain?

“Unrequited love” can hurt.

How do you fool yourself into believing a lie?

If you already know it’s a lie, it’s too late… unless you’re mentally challenged.

Could some introverts have poor social skills?

Ya think?

How would you define someone who does not enjoy being happy?

Morose.

What are some key habits for becoming successful?

Become knowledgeable in what you want and be perseverant in getting it.  

Would you fall in love that strongly?

I have.

Why are so many names getting bad reputations? Why can't people realize that not everyone with that name is like that, and not everyone who is like that has that name?

Because most people are ignorant idiots.

Why does my husband want sex after an argument or fight?

Even if he loses, he wins.

Why is sex with my ex-wife so much more enjoyable after our divorce?

You get off screwing someone who has been screwing other men.

Why do humans have to be such disgusting beings?

You haven’t been with the women I’ve been with.

What does no sex do to a husband?

He will soon suffer the malady of divorce. 

Why do I start crying when I realize I just fell in love with someone?

Are you already married?

What does it mean when a girl says "I love you"?

I’m gonna get lucky.

Does stopping sex ruin the marriage?

If going out on your spouse is going to ruin the marriage, then, yes.

My wife hasn't been having sex with me, what do I do?

Who is she having sex with?

What is a man’s benefit for cheating on his wife?

Dirty, cheating, wild sex with the wife of the man that's screwing your wife.

Can someone have strong feelings for someone without being in love with them? What could cause this type of emotional connection?

You have loved them in another life.

Why is it that whenever I have an argument with my husband I always think of leaving him for the rest of his life?

You really don’t love him as much as you should.

I’m breaking up with my boyfriend but he can’t accept it and uses violence by pushing me every 5 minutes? He was the person who told me to break up. What does he feel? Why does he do it to me like that?

Why are you still around him?

My ex-boyfriend is with someone else. It's killing me. What do I do?

He’s an “ex” so get over it.

I found my wife cheating on me with my brother. What is the best way of getting back at her?

Get caught cheating with her sister, in positions she has no idea about.

My husband had an affair for 6 years. Do you think he loves the other woman?

Well, he seems to not love you.

A married woman is interested in me, what should I do?

Ask her if she is also interested in exploring infidelity.

“Someone told me the delightful story of the crusader who put a chastity belt on his wife and gave the key to his best friend for safekeeping, in case of his death. He had ridden only a few miles away when his friend, riding hard, caught up with him, saying 'You gave me the wrong key!”

-- Anais Nin

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com