Questioning Pretty, Envy, Arrogance, Reality, Suffering, and Capitalism

 

“The pretty ones are usually unhappy. They expect everyone to be enamored of their beauty. How can a person be content when their happiness lies in someone else's hands, ready to be crushed at any moment? Ordinary-looking people are far superior because they are forced to actually work hard to achieve their goals, instead of expecting people to fall all over themselves to help them.”

-- J. Cornell Michel

Am I actually pretty or are people lying to me? I feel and look so ugly 24/7, then people tell me I’m pretty.

You are pretty, and you are being too hard on yourself.

When I talk to people about vague concepts, most don't understand or want to talk about it; why? Is not everyone able or willing to think about consciousness, and imagining another level of being? Why can no one connect?

Because they’re “vague” concepts. A “concept” isn’t concrete as it is, so when you want to discuss a “vague” concept well, there isn’t much meat on the bone to hold a person’s attention. And, you want to discuss consciousness and “imagining” another level of being? On one hand, with two fingers, I can count the friends I can have this discussion with, and I may be able to hold their interest.

Isn’t this a smart question?

Uh… no.

What are the factors that make marriage more difficult today than it was in the past?

We tend to marry for the wrong reasons. We don’t understand the importance of the vows. We marry because we think we love them when it’s only the sex we love. We don’t understand what “forever” means. And, if you want to love someone, forever, why do they want to have sex with everyone else? It was so much easier when we took our time to get to know each other. 

Why do some people refuse to explain their actions or behavior when asked? Why do they claim to not know the reason instead of providing an explanation?

They are either embarrassed or stupid. Let’s assume they’re embarrassed, shall we?

Why should parents not lie to their kids?

It is confusing to the children. Is lying wrong or right? If your parents do it, it must be okay to do, right? So the parents call the child down for lying, and the child calls the parents down for lying, but the parents say it’s different. What? Lying is lying, and there is nothing different in it.

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”

-- Friedrich Nietzsche

What is considered an envious person?

A person who covets what another person has.

What do you think of the flood of [this site] users posting ChatGPT replies instead of trying to answer questions themselves?

An answer is an answer, but, sadly, the users posting replies are ignorant of the answer until they get it from ChatGPT.

I run a pig slaughter. How do people feel about what I do?

Someone has to do it.

Is it true that there is no future without a past? If it is so, why is the future unpredictable? The past is no mystery.

That is a falsehood. A child is born and the future begins. Everything that happens after the child awakens is the child’s future. For the awakened child, there is no past before awakening. The past belongs to the parents. The past, for the awakened child, is a mystery.

What is the conclusion on the role that has been assigned to the state?

We’ll find out when it concludes.

Should fat people even be considered human or just sentient blobs of blubber?

All humans are “human” regardless of girth. To judge them as “sentient blobs of blubber” says more about the person judging them. One has to wonder who gave the person the right to judge them.

“We're all human, aren't we? Every human life is worth the same, and worth saving.”

-- J.K. Rowling

How do you deal with those who treat you arrogantly?

I ignore them. Most arrogance is caused by ignorance, and life is too short to deal with ignorant arrogance.

How do you get revenge on people who bullied you?

I was small, but I beat the crap out of one in junior high when his back was turned. In reality, when they all grew up, most of them realized the error of their ways. The one I beat the crap out of, pushed me over the line. I forgave myself for almost killing him with a tree branch and made certain I conducted myself with more control in the future.

What do you think about manipulation?

When I left the Intelligence field, I stopped thinking about it.

Could you live with toxic positivity?

I could, but I’d rather not if I had a choice. If I can’t make it non-toxic, I’ll find my positivity someplace else.

Why has everyone I have ever known for any length of time completely given up on me and decided I don’t matter despite never giving up on anyone else, ever?

Hanging with the wrong crowd who don’t give a shit.

How do I know when procrastination is just laziness and when it is due to real psychological havoc?

If one is honest with themselves, questions about “laziness” and “psychological havoc” would be one way. I have no “psychological havoc” so my procrastination is due to laziness, which I am well aware of.

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”

-- Mark Twain

Why do people ignore reality? Why do they always teach lessons of humanity but they never help the poor and respect them?

Reality can be messy. My experience with teachers is that they like to teach, but they don’t like to get their hands dirty. This negates them ever working in a soup kitchen or shaking the hand of a poor person. As an interfaith minister, I have paid for the food, fed the poor, and shook more of their hands than I can remember.

How do I know how I actually look in real life, and how people see me?

How you “act” is how people see you. Trustworthy, personable, intelligent, mature, etc., is how people will see you. If you act like a doof, people will see a doof.

How do you trust?

Selectively. I trust very few people with what is valuable to me. I am friends with many people, but I am "close" friends with very few. It is one reason I hang out with many retired military and give respect to those who respect me. A doctor introduced him as Doctor So-and-so, and I introduced myself as retired Master Sergeant Villari. He looked at me crosseyed. I told him if he wanted to be known as a doctor, I wanted to be known as my military rank. I know I earned it. He laughed and shook my hand and said his name was Bill. Even this “trust” does not come without a price.

Why do evil people know they are doing wrong but keep doing it anyway?

This is going to sound matter-of-fact, but they are evil, and doing "wrong" is what they do.

Why are some people intimidated by the study of psychology and feel it’s a very difficult subject and not easily understandable?

Search me. I almost didn’t graduate from high school, but when I went to college I majored in psychology. I garnered a 3.2 GPA and never cracked a book. I soaked it all in and was going to get a letter from my professor for Stanford, but the military draft beat him to it. My psychology background got me a job in Air Force Intelligence.  

Can all mistakes we make as human beings be forgiven?

Yes, if you don’t keep making the same mistake. But, forgiveness is the purview of the strong, according to Mahatma Gandhi.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

-- Mahatma Gandhi 

Are all human beings suffering?

Nope.

I don't love you, and I don't respect you. I just think that you are a bitch. Do you understand?

I don’t know you, but I respect your opinion as someone seemingly ignorant of what being judgmental says about a person. Is that understandable?

How can I make a stranger happy if I offended her by touching her?

Try asking her. But, for God’s sake, don’t touch her anymore.

Is it okay to not know sometimes?

It is okay to not know most of the time. The only stuff you need to know most of the time is what you need to know. Everything else is just crap that will get you into trouble if you don’t know what to do with it. This is why, in the Intelligence field, they only tell you what you have a “need to know.”

Can something illogical exist?

Joe Biden is the President of the United States. Ta-da!

What are some important self-awareness factors for someone studying psychology?

I always told people to not do as I do, do as I say. Nobody is perfect, and they certainly don’t need to act like they are. Be aware that you aren’t any “more” than the people you try to help, you are just screwed up differently.

“Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.”

-- David Richo

Why do people in very capitalist countries not like to tell the truth and tell people to “be nice”?

Not every person does this. Telling the truth is the first tactic, and being nice is the second.

I believe my girlfriend was talking to and possibly sleeping with someone else in the past while we were together. I want to ask the guy if it happened. What’s the best way to approach asking him?

If you don’t trust her, what’s the point of this exercise? She will probably do what the guys will do - lie. The best thing you can do is trust who you are with… or let them go. If she’s seeing other guys, you are not what she wants to be with always.

What's worse than a stupid evil person?

An intelligent evil person. 

When someone identifies as something they are not, why must I agree with that identity?

You don’t have to. You have the right to work and live somewhere that identifies people for what they are.

When a friend asks, “Where have you been?”, how should one reply?

“Around.” They may be a friend, but some things friends don’t get to know.

In what situations would you say "it's not your fault" instead of "don't be sorry"?

If it is your fault, you accept responsibility and you have a lot of reason to be sorry. However, if it’s not your fault, why in the world would you be apologizing for it? If it is your fault, you apologize for it. If it isn’t your fault, you don’t apologize for it. It can’t be more simple than that. Of course, if you’re submissive, you apologize for everything and hope they spank you… hard… and long. Just saying.

“She wasn't afraid of him, and he liked that. He didn't want a meek mouse, no matter that he wanted someone utterly submissive. There was a difference between submissive and spineless.”

-- Maya Banks

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com