Questions Offer Opportunity

“When I was 10 there was a rocket scientist that lived near me. His son was severely handicapped, but his mind was genius. He was older than me. We’d hang.

One time he told me this. I remembered it all these years. He taught me:

'When there are two conflicting statements (truths), there is an opportunity for learning.'

This has helped me through the years from passing judgment to quickly or coming to a conclusion instead of dismissing things altogether.”

-- Richie Norton

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On a personal note:  My answers to folks have garnered 304,000 views since I starting answering questions in early August of 2019.  Looking back, I'm pretty certain this was my way of coping with my dad's death in mid-May of that year.  My dad really didn't know me, not really, he was always on about his own thing.  I know he cared, he just didn't know how to approach it.  His way was confrontational with me.  I wasn't all that he was, and yet, in my own way, I was better.   I think, in answering questions for others, this is also my way of telling him who I am... if he's listening.  These questions offer opportunity to tell a story through answers.

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What is the easiest way to catch a liar?

Discover the truth.

What are some lessons from the Japanese philosophy towards life that all of us can benefit from?

Tao Te Ching - Lao Tzu - Chapter 11

Thirty spokes share the wheel's hub;

It is the center hole that makes it useful.

Shape clay into a vessel;

It is the space within that makes it useful.

Cut doors and windows for a room;

It is the holes which make it useful.

Therefore profit comes from what is there;

Usefulness from what is not there.

What types of quotes do people need? Why?

Quotes that answer questions and inspire. Quotes that point to a path not yet found. Quotes that say, “You’re okay.” Quotes that, at times, can make people think for themselves. And, at times, quotes that say, “What you’re looking for won’t be found here.”

People need quotes for a variety of reasons. Most quotes are sage advice from people who have lived and failed and recovered, or have succeeded and wish to mentor others who look from the same successes. Taken as a whole, they speak to happiness always, whether rich or poor, with baggage or without. This is our life, and it is all about choices.

“A quotation is a handy thing to have about, saving one the trouble of thinking for oneself, always a laborious business."

-- A.A. Milne

Why can't you fail?

Because I refuse to give up. If I fall, I get back up. If I “fail” I critique where I went wrong, learn from my mistake, and go at it again. The only way to truly fail is to give up, to stop.

Older people: would you say life has gone by fast for you?

From 60 years of age onward, this life has been moving faster than I would like. I look forward to the next great adventure.

What do most people take seriously that you think is overrated?

Socialism. It doesn’t work. I don’t think most people do, but a good many young people don’t study politics in history. Even Fidel Castro, before his death, admitted it was a failed experiment for Cuba.

“We awaken by asking the right questions. We awaken when we see knowledge being spread that goes against our own personal experiences. We awaken when we see popular opinion being wrong but accepted as being right, and what is right being pushed as being wrong. We awaken by seeking answers in corners that are not popular. And we awaken by turning on the light inside when everything outside feels dark.”

-- Suzy Kassem

Why is helping other people not always mandatory?

Life is about making choices, and we all have the freedom to choose. Selflessness is as much a personal choice as selfishness. You don’t have to do anything. You can sit on your ass and watch the world pass you by. Or, you can be involved and help to make it better, or worse. You can live, or die. Stand still, or move forward. It is all your choice. Make good choices, and strive to be happy always!

What do you call someone who knows you know the truth but lies anyway?

A liar. Is this a trick question?  Okay, how about a politician?  This seems to be the norm, nowadays.

How can I be more considerate of other people than myself? I want to think less about what I want and what other people want. I always think about myself and not what my partner needs, so how can I just stop thinking about myself.

Taking care of yourself is the first priority. How can you do for others if you can’t even do for yourself? Once this is done, make the conscious choice to not be selfish. You can always do for yourself, you’ve proven that. Now it is time to help others and make them happy, as well. This doesn’t mean that they can sit back and watch, but you can certainly pitch in and help. Selflessness can be its own reward. You might just get used to the feeling.

“I find that being considerate of others and keeping what I say and what I do in agreement makes for a great night's sleep.”

-- Steve Maraboli

What are “caveats”, and why would people in academia need to give them before writing or saying anything?

A caveat is a warning. When someone adds a caveat to something they're telling you to beware — maybe what they're telling you comes with certain conditions or maybe there's something dangerous lurking. — Vocabularay.com

Or, like most people in “academia” they might be full of shit. For these folks a caveat would be more of a CYA, a “cover your ass” caveat, because what you say might not be right. Academics like to float stuff out there and see how well it's received.

I became intimate with caveats when I was in military intelligence. Almost everything came with one or more warnings, and rightly so. If you ignore a warning, or a condition in disseminating the information, secrets might not be secret anymore and people just might die. 

Have you ever had the experience that "the words you’re saying are just fine" but what gets you in trouble is “the tone” you say those words in? How can a person get better at improving their tone, especially when they’re a passionate person?

I had this problem in the military. I am, also, a passionate person. My "tone" is who I am. No apology needed. However, an explanation was. I had a briefing with all of the personnel in my intelligence unit when I took charge, and I explained the “why” of my tone of voice. This worked so well I continued doing it for the rest of my life. It isn’t your tone of voice as much as it is the reason behind it. Sometimes people have the right to know, especially if you're farming respect from difficult soil. “The words you’re saying are just fine,” now, explain why your tone is off and people will appreciate your candor.

Author comment:  Insightful answer. 

“If you can’t help people, don’t hurt them” do you agree?

That would be an obvious adage for those of us who truly give a shit about others. Unfortunately, there are those that don’t even think about the consequences their choices have on those around them or the innocent. When your choices might affect other people, it is incumbent upon you to reflect on your personal code of moral ethics and ask yourself if what you’re about to do might hurt others. The ripples in our pond tend to reverberate as they bounce off stuff, like these other people. This is how our bad choices come back to bite us in our hind parts.

“We hurt people, when we give ourselves more value than others.”

-- Junaid Raza 

What is it that causes some people to grow up to be so funny and good at making others laugh? Is this trait at all genetic?

A creative sense of humor. It’s like acting, some people have it and some people don’t. Some people can learn it, some people come by it naturally. The brain is able to see the humor in almost every said or done and is capable of using it to good effect. Robin Willaims was the king of this. If it was genetic more of their children would follow in their footsteps. I don’t think this is true.

How do you fundamentally change an opinion or perspective of someone who really isn’t even looking for change?

If they aren’t looking for a change, you probably can’t. Tell them the way you feel and stop wasting your time. When they’re ready to listen they know you’re there for them. 

Does believing in a higher power excuse a person from personal weaknesses?

What? No. There is a special place in hell for people like me. With my luck, I’ll have to repeat this life. Hopefully, I’ll do better next time.

“Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one's weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.”

-- Mahatma Gandhi

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.