Questioning Who We Are

"The key to wisdom is this - constant and frequent questioning, for by doubting we are led to question and by questioning we arrive at the truth."

-- Peter Abelard

Does Charles Bukowski’s quote, “Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be,” ring true for you? How else would you put this?

I can remember who I was… because I’m still him. This was an issue that held me back for a while. I told the world to go screw themselves. Life is about making good ethical choices, and when you’re told what you should be, this becomes a real issue for those who are individualists. 

I'd put it this way: "I can remember who I was before I made the personal choices that put me on my current path." No regrets. Oh, and the world can still kiss my lily-white tush if they don’t like who I am.

If you look down on yourself, will others do the same?

Yes. If you don’t respect yourself why expect others to? Who knows you better than you do? A man says, “I’m a loser.” If he truly feels he is, then he is. However, this doesn’t mean that I don’t think he has the potential to be more. He has to lose this negative attitude and strive to be more than he is. This simple choice changes him from a “loser” to a person who is trying to be something else. People will recognize this and, in all probability, assist him in his endeavor.

Should we compare ourselves to others?

This depends on what we do with what we discover. We can compare to see if we are doing our job as well, or better, than others. If we aren’t, this gives us an opportunity to critique why we aren’t. This self-critique can then be used to do better. Where we run into an issue is when we simply take the critique and use it as a reason to think less of ourselves instead of a tool to better ourselves.

“Whatever your passion is, keep doing it. Don't waste time chasing after success or comparing yourself to others. Every flower blooms at a different pace. Excel at doing what your passion is and only focus on perfecting it. Eventually, people will see what you are great at doing, and if you are truly great, success will come chasing after you.”

-- Suzy Kassem 

What do you think about "If you have 1000 good cops and 10 bad cops, but those 1000 cops don't turn in those 10 bad cops, you have 1010 bad cops"?

You have 1000 policemen buying into the bad culture. In every job I’ve had we policed ourselves. If you have “profit-sharing” what effect does an employee stealing have on profits? If police are trying hard to garner public support, what good does a bad officer do for this effort? Law enforcement needs to police themselves from the bottom up. This should be the culture. There should also be volunteer civilian oversight of law enforcement, a board of local citizens, to ensure the culture changes.

What is your opinion about the quote "Before acting on any recommendation, know the rationale” by Frank Sonnenberg?

Do your own due diligence! Never act on any recommendation before doing this. And, given the choice, never act immediately on anything. A great deal today will be the same deal tomorrow and, if it isn’t, another deal will come along. Nothing follows us through life like a bad knee-jerk reaction.

Is there potential in people who admit their mistakes and long for improvement?

The question answers itself. I think people capable of admitting their mistakes and longing for improvement are more likely to realize said improvement than those who don’t admit their mistakes and sit around on their ass waiting for their circumstances to change with no effort on their part.

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”

-- Albert Einstein

Why is there something rather than nothing?

Even if there is “nothing” the fact that it is named “nothing” makes it something - nothing.

Readers comment: The literary representation of the word “nothing” is quite different from the concept itself. And although the concept of nothing that we build in our heads is a “something”, this does not mean that a true nothingness would be a something.

A true nothingness would possibly only exist in a universe that is completely devoid of anything else. A true nothingness would not be something that we could logically show to have any basis in reality.

My reply:  Wha... what?  And, yet, you refer to "true" nothingness as if there is "fake" nothingness.  And, you also state that this "true" nothingness "would possibly only exist in a universe completely devoid of anything else."  If nothingness is true, we have categorized it to be so.  And, if it is possible for it to "only exist" then its very existence makes it something.  Of course, I could be wrong.

Reader's reply: Of course, there is “fake” nothingness. Granted, it only shows up in literature or in human perception of the concept.

Person 1: What’s up?

Person 2: Nothing.

Whatever nothingness Person 2 is alluding to here is not true nothingness. This should be fairly straightforward. Now before you tell me that “nothing” in this context is only a figure of speech, I have to ask you: when do we mean literal nothingness in conversation? Honestly, never. Even when we are considering null sets in mathematics, we are still talking about the absence of something (i.e. nothing) in regards to something else.

The kind of nothingness I am referring to, on the other hand, is independent of perception. It is objective. And it is hence not something we can demonstrate to exist. It can still exist, we just wouldn’t have a means of showing it. Whatever we perceive as nothingness, however, I’d argue isn’t actually nothingness.

Just because we call an apple an orange doesn’t make the apple an orange now, does it? Likewise, just because we categorize the nothingness we perceive as true nothingness does not make it such. It’s a contradictory idea.

My reply:  And, yet, you keep trying, albeit long-winded, to support my point.  Nothing "can still exist."  Thank you!

Note to my readers:  This conversation was like swimming upstream while dragging a non-existent elephant. 

What are your views on people who lie about their professional qualifications but who are otherwise very competent at their job?

Never sacrifice your personal ethics. Tell them your qualifications are thin, but your capability is robust. Prove your professional qualifications by showing them what you can do. If they won’t give you a shot, you’re probably better off looking for someone who will. On the flip side, I’ve actually walked away from employers who were way too eager to hire me.

Is there truly no place in the real world at all for responsibility, sympathy, perception, inward validation, etc.?

Yes, those are all personal values that require you to do some work. These are all choices you must make for yourself in order to have a solid code of personal ethics, along with honesty, loyalty, morality, and the like. The place for all of this in the “real world” is inside each of us.

There’s danger in thinking joy is a matter of location. If we can’t find joy where we are, we probably won’t find it anywhere.

-- Philip Gulley

What is a single laugh called?

I would call it a laugh. More than one would be more akin to laughing, than a single laugh. He laughed at me, or he was laughing at me. Both happen to me all the time.

What change(s) in your life was made by choice, rather than by force or coercion?

Everything we do in life is a matter of choice. It is your choice to bow to force or coercion. This being said, all changes in my life have been made by choice just as changes in everyone’s lives have been made by their choices.

Would you rather appear just or be just? Three reasons.

Appearing just would violate my personal code of ethics, it would not be fair to the one looking for justice, and it would set a bad example for others to emulate.

"Being good is easy, what is difficult is being just."

-- Victor Hugo

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The Short Answers (a few for good reason):

Do people still practice stoicism?

Yes, but only in private, and we don't call it that.

What is the meaning of “ass f$#k”?

Uh... it’s kind of self-explanatory.

Note to my readers:  I promised not to hold back.  This was an actual question, though I cleaned up the spelling a bit... for those with delicate sensibilities. 

What does blaming your mistakes on your other self/personality mean?

You need professional help.

Why do ugly-looking people want human rights, even though they don't deserve them?

You tell us.  It seems applicable here.

Note to my readers:  Not my answer to this question, but he is a man after my own heart.  My answer would have been longer and brutal.  My comment to his answer, however:  "Nice answer." 

What is the main way of thinking that makes a rich person not think they're rich?

Unsatisfied greed.

“He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have.”

-- Socrates

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.