Questioning Forks and Perception

 

“The worst place is at the fork. You can’t keep going the same direction as you came. You have to choose one or the other path. Whatever the choice, at least, it is movement. Otherwise, you are just forking around getting nowhere.”

-- Donna Goddard

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Just a thought:  Almost 12,000 people read my answers this week.  One wonders if they get anything out of them?  I know I learn much about myself by answering even the most mundane questions.  I'm glad most of the people reading these don't really know me, though.  I'd hate to meet them in some dark alley because something I said put their panties in a bunch. 

It's bad enough I have to constantly be on the lookout for those real members of the League of the Perpetually Offended.  And, not because I care what they think, but because they think I care what they think.  They tend to "think" just to piss people off.  Better that they simply don't try to think, in my view.  It wastes our precious time, our precious oxygen, and they seem to go out of their way to learn nothing from the exercise except how to curse and call people names.  Not endearing qualities, in my humble opinion.  Just saying.

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What if there was a fork in the road, and you had to take one path and another version of yourself had to take the other path, and you got to meet up later to discuss how things turned out?

We would order up a couple of bourbon on the rocks, and cigars, and discuss how things turned out.

Does someone always have to win?

Yes, and no, and not necessarily in the eyes of supposed “competitors.” If two masons build a brick wall, finish at the same time, and have no animosity toward each other. There is no competition. After several years, one wall is having issues and the other is standing strong. Different technique? Different mortar? And, does it really matter? Only to the people who own each wall. They determine that one mason is superior to the other.

In order to be able to think, do you have to risk being offended?

Being offended would mean you actually care what other people think about what you think. If this is the case, best you keep your thoughts to yourself. Personally, I’d rather not “risk” being offended, so I don’t much care what people think about what I think, as these are my thoughts. They are perfectly welcome to have their own thoughts… if they’re capable, that is.

“People get addicted to feeling offended all the time because it gives them a high; being self-righteous and morally superior feels good.”

-- Mark Manson

What is a good example of “bigger isn't always better”?

I’ve heard women talk about guys like this.

How does the idea of the "aura" relate to perception?

“Extra-sensory” perception. Some people say they can perceive a person’s “aura” and read how they are feeling or what kind of a person they are by the color and strength of it.

What is the relationship between perception and attitude?

Perception can shape your attitude. Better not to rely on just your perception, but to investigate more thoroughly before jumping into a perception, copping an attitude and, then, finding out you’re wrong. Journalists are guilty of this more and more as they editorialize instead of investigating and printing the facts.  They either simply believe bullshit, or they make the bullshit up.

"Adversity can be turned into opportunity simply by adjusting our perception and our attitude."

-- Gail Lynne Goodwin

Why can't people not like you?

I don’t know. I suppose I simply exude likeability. This was probably the reason I was bullied by bigger students. Their girlfriends liked to talk to me.

What is the word for something that is both shallow and deep at the same time?

Average.

How are loneliness and wisdom related to each other?

Are they supposed to be? I’ve known many wise people who are certainly not lonely. I consider myself wise in many ways and I’m anything but lonely.

“Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life's cruelest irony.”

-- Douglas Coupland

Do you have a handle on your darkness?

I certainly hope so. I try not to think about interrogation techniques, and for most of my intelligence career, we would make a game of just screwing with people’s heads. People were getting emotionally hurt. I stopped doing it many years ago, for this reason. Some time back, to prove a point, I told a young lady over the phone that I can make her do anything I want. She started to argue with me, so I smiled and hung up on her. She called me back immediately and chewed me out for daring to hang up. I explained to her, “Yeah, but I made you call me back.” She hung up on me. I just smiled and let her go. This was trivial compared to what we could do, and I only mess with heads when I think there is a lesson in doing so. Not very often.

What does it mean to take advantage of a situation in a bad way?

Taking sexual advantage of a woman who has had way too much to drink, comes to mind.

What is more of a struggle for the average person: working hard or working smart?

Working smart. Most people just want to do the job and get paid. It’s easier. Then, there are those who work the job smarter, to make it easier and get more done, or to impress the boss. This takes some effort but usually pays off.

“I don't believe in luck or in hard work without the so-called "work smart". It's not all about how you work hard but it's about how you manage your time, resources, mind to work together for a better output.”

-- Jayson Zabate

Do you suffer from a general malaise brought on by being connected to reality?

Nope. I think people who suffer from “malaise” due to reality don’t really understand the reality of life. We are here to learn. Some of us are here, again, to learn because we didn’t learn the last time around, or the life before that. Life is about learning the lessons we are here to learn, so we can make good choices for ourselves and rise above our circumstances so we can finally understand reality. Or, you can wallow in a pit of self-pity and keep on repeating your personal hell on earth. Better you learn to strive to be happy always and, then, move forward to make more out of this life.

"You don't have to be on good terms with everybody." Do you agree?

I’m not, and yes, I do. I will never be on good terms with those who are perpetually offended. They just won’t have it. 

What made you be religious?

Catholicism, when I was very young. Then, through my formative years, I formed a different opinion about churches and “organized” religion. They are primarily about control. I studied eastern philosophies, Zen and Tao, and took courses in world religions, all so I could end up where II am - spiritual. I daily celebrate my personal spirituality while also embracing my own take on Christianity. I found this quote, several years ago, and hold it close, as a truth:

“Protestantism has the method of Jesus with His secret too much left out of mind: Catholicism has His secret with His method too much left out of mind; neither has His unerring balance, His intuition, His sweet reasonableness. But both have hold of a great truth, and get from it a great power.”

-- Matthew Arnold (1822-1888), poet, educator, cultural critic

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.