Questions of Regret, Philosophy, and Standing Up

"As for waxing, I've never waxed in my life and I never would. I'm extremely Welsh, so I draw the line at removing body hair."

-- Matthew Rhys

What element of communication you believe is the main reason why there is a breakdown of communication or misunderstanding on your part when you communicate with other people?

I have a hard time slowing down. I friend of mine had a problem building a wooden stereo cabinet, so I told him how to circumvent the issue and he said I totally redesigned it. I apologized and he said it was okay because my design was so much better. I tend to jump past what I don’t feel is the problem to work on the root cause without explaining why. I suppose this would be a fault of clarity and consideration of my audience. I catch myself, now, and tell them I’m going to back up and explain my reasoning.

What makes someone become a bad philosopher?

Lack of knowledge, good sense, and the wisdom that usually comes with age.

What is an example of the fastest you realized you were approaching a “slippery slope” in work or in life?

The second time the company I worked for changed owners. I could feel the family atmosphere dissipating faster than a first paycheck. You could almost hear the meat ax being sharpened for pairing down the employee roster. After 17 good years with the company, I knew it was time for my second retirement which I enjoyed in Mexico for two years, until my old boss called me back home for a new exciting venture.

“Users of slippery slope arguments should take skiing lessons—you really can choose to stop.”

-- Nigel Warburton

What is the one thing that people in your profession say that is almost always a lie?

After almost 23 years in military intelligence, a lie is almost always the first thing that comes out of your enemy’s mouth.

Is a long life a blessing or a curse, especially for a guy that lives all alone, with his friends dying one by one?

My dad would say it was a curse but, then, he was an “all about me” kind of guy. I like my me time, so living alone and having few friends is not much of an issue, and, if they’re dying off, well, sucks being them. 

What was your biggest regret in renting an apartment?

Not getting the top apartment so you can be the one “clogging” on the floor upstairs.

“A bachelor, a studio, those were the names for that kind of apartment. Separate entrance it would say in the ads, and that meant you could have sex, unobserved.”

-- Margaret Atwood

I close from work 5pm daily and I finish work at 5pm daily, which is correct and why?

Are you the closer? If not, you probably “finish” work.

I really hate a person, and they always brag about their money, their girlfriends, and their “power”. I have thoughts of murdering them. What should I do?

Don’t socialize with them, don’t be around them at all, and certainly don’t murder them. The fact that you hate them is why they have power. Either confront them or ignore them. When they’re alone, who will they brag to? Who will they leach their “power” from? A braggart without an audience is just twice as sad.

Is it true that we cause ourselves to be unhappy?

Since happiness is a conscious choice each of us must make for ourselves, I’d have to say this is true. If you don’t choose to be constantly happy, what is the alternative? Well, if it isn’t to be happy always, then it sucks. Better to cause yourself to be happy at all times.

Author's comment: I liked your answer but, on the other hand, and to be more specific philosophically, true happiness is the best possible one only.

My reply:  On the other hand?  You just restated my answer.  Thank you! 

“No one should ever ask themselves that: why am I unhappy? The question carries within it the virus that will destroy everything. If we ask that question, it means we want to find out what makes us happy. If what makes us happy is different from what we have now, then we must either change once and for all or stay as we are, feeling even more unhappy.”

-- Paulo Coelho

Do you believe in the phrase “when you’re weak, you’re at your strongest”?

Depends on the person. If you have the strength of character to rise above it, you are at your strongest. If you feel the weakness has defeated you, you’re defeated. I try to never get that weak. Even when I had COVID, I was cooking and trying not to let being tired and having all-body hurt keep me down. I actually thought I had the flu. So, for me, yes, when I’m feeling weak is when I’m strongest. Never give up. Never surrender. Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!

Why do I always choose my family over my happiness?

Maybe your family makes you happy?

How do you stand up for yourself if you're not quick-witted?

Standing up for yourself has nothing to do with being quick-witted. It has to do with a strength of character. If you have to stand up for yourself, what does that say about the lack of character being shown by your attacker?

Okay, quick-witted… The reason a person has to stand up for themselves is usually due to some coward thinking you’re easy prey. So don’t make it easy. Get in their face and ask them, “Other than being a loud-mouthed coward, what is your problem?” If they say it’s you, then tell them they have the right to leave. You’re not holding them there. You don’t even want to touch them. Eeewww! Smile and walk away. Make sure you do this in front of everyone, that way, when they hit you from behind, which the coward will do, the violence is on the coward. Oh, and that is assault, by the way. In front of witnesses.  Feel free to have them arrested.

“Stand up for yourself. Never give anyone permission to abuse you.”

-- Lailah Gifty Akita

Why do I always feel like I'm a bad person?

There must be a reason. Are you? If you are, then if you stop it you won’t always feel like you’re a bad person.

How can you not be the person?

I don’t know. I thought I was. Maybe it’s because I don’t know. That could be it. I don’t know. I’m so confused. What was the question, again?

Do you feel at peace and connected to the world around you?

Absolutely! This is what striving to be happy always does for you. I heartily recommend it.

“Nothing can disturb your peace of mind unless you allow it to.”

-- Roy T. Bennett

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.