My Sunday Thought for 08142016: Faces in My Darkness

people I am unsure of, 

shake my hand and welcome me,

a long line of friendly greeters, 

and my head can't make sense of it all,

then the colours fade away 

and hands are withdrawn,

the procession of strangers, 

becomes a sea of cold callous creatures,

judging me and laughing at me behind my back,

now the lights are dimmed, 

I only see the shadowy silhouettes of the crowd

and in the darkness,

faces appear sinister and inhuman,

mouths full of jagged teeth, 

wearing malicious smirks,

a coldness comes over this place,

just me, 

the dark

and these creatures of cold indifference.

-- Faces in the Dark (2nd stanza), by Oliver Gould

A word to the wise... I was feeling exceptionally verbose during the writing of this post.  It ended up being about as close to a rant as I wanted to come for an article that wasn't intended to contain attitude.  Those who follow my blog will recognize my style of taking off on a tangent before coming back on topic.  I may have done this, a few times, here.  In lieu of rewriting it I have elected to leave it stand as what it is, an insight into the darkness, those issues which visit my mind, and perhaps yours as well, from time to time.  Constructive comments are, as usual, always welcomed.

Welcome to Anywhere, USA, where we, for the most part, seem to have become the cold, callous, creatures of nightmares.  Morality is defined for us by hypocrites we find orating behind pulpits while turning their backs on the least of us and encouraging those same "least of us" to follow their lead.  These are the sinister creatures which haunt many of us as we struggle to find our path or, having found it, force us to keep our eyes to the ground for fear of what we might experience should we dare pay attention to the reality of our daily lives.  These are the faces in my darkness.

Which one is Tony?  How would you know me among these others?  What would set me apart if we all looked the same?  Is one of the faces simply a reflection of me looking back from my own personal hell?  If so, I will know me from the arm which reaches forward and presents a finger to softly wipe a tear away.  How will others recognize me as one of these faceless demons?  Look for the one who comes forward, the one placing itself between you and the others of its kind. Look for the offering of a hand, reaching out to softly caress your cheek. They will know me when they see the tear run from one of the dark, seemingly sightless, eye sockets; pitch black holes which suck in all light and, by extension, everything which can be seen.  Perhaps I should focus on the more important question, "Why am I there amongst them?"

   

I don't profess to be any better or worse than others. Christ came as a man, not as a God. He was one of us, not above us. I think his message to us is, you cannot affect change from outside the box, only from within will one find the knowledge they seek to make a difference.  We cannot pick and choose the box as it will find us and we will be called into it for our full measure.  In the darkness many called will be found wanting in faith.

I look around my box, late at night or at two in the morning, and I'm not frightened anymore.  The demons which haunt my thoughts are of my own making.  They are the friends I let down and people I've treated poorly, gone now but so not forgotten.  They're familiar aircrews I may have briefed that later died on mission.  They are the soldiers inhabiting flag draped caskets, lined up in some airfield warehouse on a foreign parking ramp, begging my salute and waiting for a flight home.  They represent the ghosts of memories begging an answer to the question, "Why?"

Deeper in the darkness come the moans, whines, and other unintelligible noises of the truly evil; those ministers of religious piety that feed off parishioners and see faith as a business to line their greedy pockets or boost their own lack of substantive self with an ego based on bullshit. They preach scripture which they then ignore as if the book were little more than a door stop, yet they thrust it out before them as if it were a sword or shield not realizing their lack of true faith renders the book as impotent as waggling a bun length wiener in the face of Satan. They easily pass judgment on the actions of others while their own lives are less than laudable.

A young minister recently wrote me the following concerning another an older minister who spreads not very endearing stories about her.  Her tolerance of him is as solid as her conclusion, shown below.  The fact that his congregation buys into his actions evidences, to me, that they are, indeed, sheep in need of a better shepherd.  Inaction in the face of sin simply makes one complicit in sin.  Followers will stand, or fall, with their leader, like Reverend Jim Jones and his "Peoples Temple Full Gospel Church."  As with his congregation, brainwashed followers will drink the cyanide laced punch and rush off the cliff of oblivion, like lemmings to their death,  alongside their insane, sociopathic, "ministers."  Rumor has it, Christ would take issue with this.  Gee, ya think?

“When my head is down, does not mean I am asleep because, really, I am paying more attention than ever, not just to one thing but to all. For me it's like letting my spiritual eyes look around me so I see more and I hear more. To see me with my head down, many jump to the conclusion of sleeping, and judgement is placed, when the truth is not in that but far from it. 

Our eyes of the flesh see many things, but we must be careful, because it's dangerous ground. Those eyes will fool you; they cause judgement and false witness, so be careful. What you see is not always what you see, then if you go talk about someone, or something they do, or you think you see them do, be careful. You could be false witnessing, lying, and causing division without even knowing it. 

Be careful, children of God, the devil’s out to kill steal and destroy, and yes he's sneaky, but be careful. Watch what you say, hear, or do.”

Clergy hold the book up and quote from verse, yet few of these "men of the cloth" comprehend the truth of scripture.  The Bible is just a book; a tangible creation of man which we all assume is based on the Word of God.  But what if scripture didn't exist?  What if a group like the Nazis had been able to destroy all religious texts?  What then?  Perhaps we would discover the meaning of true faith.

We have followed the lead of our clergy for over two millennia.  We have forgiven them countless transgressions of faith which they have seen fit to damn us with; the Crusades, Inquisition, and that little bit of unpleasantness in Salem.  The basis for all of these can plainly be found in scripture, right?  Yet, we all seem to continue our weekly sojourns to worship at the behest of these very same churches and clergy.  I say we have to pause and ask ourselves, "Why?"  Are they truly doing God's work, or are they doing their own?  If they aren't practicing what they preach outside of church, how can they be preaching to the masses inside? Where is their credibility, and why don't we care?  

Our actions are a reflection of our soul, and no matter how much paint you throw on an evil wall, it is still just an evil, painted, wall.  And, even if you can't see the evil in the wall, those who experienced it will always remember the evil wall. It exists, somewhere, under all that paint.  Better to tear down the evil wall and rebuild a beautiful new one.  We will, all of us, have to answer for following false prophets, with personal agendas, disguised as clergy.

We have become programmed to believe all the bullshit we are spoon-fed and to question none of it.  All one has to do is look at the state of the world around us in order to see our new nightmares.

We have become so hypnotized by the constant drone of the media buzz to the point that our leaders could shoot someone on national television, in full view of the entire nation, and their blinded followers would deny they did it with such vehemence even the courts would question their own eyes and shy away from the case.

Our next door neighbors are probable terrorists allowed to cross into this country along with thousands of unvetted, albeit law abiding, refugees; our leaders constantly lie about the lies they told about lying and feed off of our ignorance and gullibility, hoping we're too stupid to keep up with their tap dance; these are the same leaders that allow illegal aliens, convicted of murder and other felonies, to be released back into our society so they can continue their unchecked lifestyle of rape, murder, and theft while minority policeman are being murdered by minority criminals who have it out for white policemen due to the phrase "black lives matter."   "Black Lives Matter" seems to have become the catalyst  and rallying cry for the anarchists, the lunatic fringe, and the likes of "Reverend" Al Sharpton, who all use it to further enflame disenchanted black citizens to burn down their own minority neighborhoods with a "Christian" zeal mankind hasn't experienced for centuries and then blame it on someone other than themselves, seemingly all because of a slavery most of us weren't around for, and most of them never experienced.

All of this is enough to make your head explode.  Is it any wonder I'm purchasing yet another firearm for home security?  Is there inequality in this country?  Sure there is.  It affects women, races, sexual orientation, religious belief, and basically everything else the Equal Rights Amendment was supposed to solve.  More work definitely has to be done on behalf of all of us, so... get over yourself and try helping instead of making things so much worse.  That darkness we see faces in?  We are slipping further into it everyday due to our selfish attitudes toward one another.

We kill our children the moment prior to birth as if it really sidesteps the sin of murder in the eyes of God, and what babies do survive we send into war as babies, to die as babies, anyway.  We are a society at war with our own children before they are even born.

These are the dead or dying faces in your own darkness which should haunt you, as well; the faceless millions of children, our dead or dying legacy of failure.  If we haven't condoned their outright slaughter, as parents we no longer raise them to be responsible, productive adults in our society, the State does.  We no longer educate our children to be intelligent and think for themselves, the State does... which is why they point to Texas when asked where Russia is on the map.  Our children have become orphans with family.

We no longer have to worry about our salvation; our ministers handle that... if they can find the time when they aren't running the business of their church.  Everyone, including clergy, forgets that you can't be thrown a life preserver when it comes to life or salvation; you need to learn to swim.  This is why we were told, in this same scripture, not to go to church but, rather, to pray silently and in the privacy of our own room, and to be mature, productive members of society.  

Is there any wonder we are haunted by faceless beings suffering for their own sins of which they would visit upon the rest of us?  Be aware they exist, and rise above them, these faces in the dark.  Our path should take us far from hypocrites in denial, but there are times we cannot avoid the inevitable.  We find it necessary to climb down into their pit in order to sort them out, the wheat from the chaff, the innocent lost who follow self-righteous leaders more lost than they.  We must keep our eye on the ball, on the light, stay for those who might be saved and try not to stress over having to leave those we cannot.  It was never in our control to do so.  Grab who we can and count our blessings; try to put the rest behind us and pay attention to the glory along the road ahead.  

It is all we can do for the faces in our darkness.

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider another viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, and instructor. He is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path," which offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination.