-- Confucius (551 BCE-479 BCE), philosopher, teacher, politician
I originally published this post on June 25, 2013. It required a bit of updating. I changed the title from "Beauty: Skin Deep?" to just "Skin Deep?" because much of what we do goes much deeper than simply our desire for a beauty we already possess as who we are. No matter what you look like, you have a choice to see yourself as beautiful or not. God made us who we are, as part of our lessons to be learned in this existence. It is up to us to make the most of it.
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When I die, I'd rather my butt cheeks not be stretched on a canvas for a bunch of drunk yokels to poke fun at. Okay, that not only didn't come out quite right, but I've now got this vision I can't unsee, and a flashback to some uncomfortable probing visited upon me by aliens.
Tattoos aside, people undergo body augmentation for many reasons. Sometimes the augmentation is to replace what was lost during surgery, cancer, accidents, and war. More personal “cosmetic” reasons generally lean toward making one more attractive or defining who one is. I can't argue with the latter. However, one reason which floors me is, "My husband wanted me to do it." And… who gave him control of your body and control over what you want? I try not to judge, but I hear this and immediately think submissive. The Marquis de Sade would probably approve.
Medical reasons for augmentation stand well apart from the personal ones; people want back what God gave them. But those personal reasons I have never understood. I hear them, but I have no point of reference for the reasoning.
Medically I have lousy vision. Before I wore contact lenses, my glasses were so thick they would fall off my face every time I looked down. I became very adept at snatching them in mid-air before they hit the ground. 24-hour contact lenses were a godsend for folks like me. I am also slowly going bald. But I have never considered implants, fusing, or even medications to grow hair. Why not? Well, would it make me something I'm not? Would it make me a better person?
I am reminded of the joke where a man takes a gorgeous woman to a hotel room where he watches, mortified, as she slowly undresses, removing her wig, her left leg, her teeth, glass eye, well...you get the picture. The point is, she expects to be loved for who she is and not the sum of her parts. On the other side, wouldn't you rather know what you're getting into and not be surprised by a pile of augmentation stacked beside the bed? Basically, she was lying by omission but, does it really matter?
Well, if you're into honesty in relationships perhaps it should start well before the bedroom. When I was young and thoughtless, I wanted to love a real person and not a plastic reproduction? If I wanted plastic I'd go buy a blowup doll. But, this is the world we live in. Wars leave us scars and augmented heroes. They're still heroes, they now have mechanical parts. If you can't deal with that, imagine how they feel, and they do feel.
I am reminded of the joke where a man takes a gorgeous woman to a hotel room where he watches, mortified, as she slowly undresses, removing her wig, her left leg, her teeth, glass eye, well...you get the picture. The point is, she expects to be loved for who she is and not the sum of her parts. On the other side, wouldn't you rather know what you're getting into and not be surprised by a pile of augmentation stacked beside the bed? Basically, she was lying by omission but, does it really matter?
Well, if you're into honesty in relationships perhaps it should start well before the bedroom. When I was young and thoughtless, I wanted to love a real person and not a plastic reproduction? If I wanted plastic I'd go buy a blowup doll. But, this is the world we live in. Wars leave us scars and augmented heroes. They're still heroes, they now have mechanical parts. If you can't deal with that, imagine how they feel, and they do feel.
I have never considered myself to be a handsome fellow. Yet, I have never had a problem dating the ladies. I found, early on, it’s all about who you are inside, how comfortable you are with… you. Augmentation will not accomplish that. Like drinking alcohol to forget, it can be a stop-gap on a journey to larger psychological issues. Or, it simply is what it is. Augmentation replaces a part, but it doesn't truly define who you are. Nor does your weight, for that matter.
What about those people who are already very handsome or beautiful and are looking to tweak their bodies a bit? I just shake my head when I see absolutely gorgeous women who have permanently scarred their bodies with tattoos or augmented their breasts when they were already so beautifully petite and natural. And, if you're fat and want to slim down, are you doing it because you'll be more healthy, or because you think you'll be a "different" person? Be who you want to be, embrace it, and then be healthy. Who do you want to be more beautiful than, when you’re already perfect on the inside?
I only hope the market for body art is limited to what the deceased puts in their Last Will & Testament or there will be bidding wars, “skin” wars, for ownership of expensively beautiful and desirable body art. I love looking at some of the fabulous work some tattoo artists are capable of, I simply don't see the point of wanting it, or wearing it, unless its to see how much pain you can endure but, even then, the point still escapes me. We have S&M clubs for that.
I only hope the market for body art is limited to what the deceased puts in their Last Will & Testament or there will be bidding wars, “skin” wars, for ownership of expensively beautiful and desirable body art. I love looking at some of the fabulous work some tattoo artists are capable of, I simply don't see the point of wanting it, or wearing it, unless its to see how much pain you can endure but, even then, the point still escapes me. We have S&M clubs for that.
As for your significant other wanting you to have this non-required augmentation, get a clue; if it takes you changing you to make them happy, to make them love you more, better for you to find another significant because they've fallen short. How can anyone possibly see this demand for submissive behavior as love? Not that whips, leather, and role-playing don't have their appeal but, in a relationship, if you don't love me for who I am, how I am, and in my own mind "why" I am, you don't really love me.
I love many of my friends that have had augmentation and tattoos. Some are plus-sized and some are twigs. I love many of my friends that smoke and are alcoholics. Would I marry any of them? Maybe, but if they don't love themselves for who they are there’s already too much drama and baggage there. But, there are exceptions to any rule, even for me. I have to look deeper than what they're doing or have done and try to understand their reasons, even if I might not agree. And, if you’ve already had the "work" done, what’s done is done, and there is rarely any going back to the perfect you.
Every mistake is a lesson to be learned, a lesson usually discovered as we get older. Like when you're eighty and see the beautiful peach tattoo covering your left breast now looks like shriveled fruit, resting on the top of your foot. Not really a problem, except you’re standing upright while looking down upon it. No big deal, right? It is what it is. Throw it over your shoulder, with the equally saggy right one, and move on. What has occurred is called gravity. Things tend to go “south” as we age. Things also tend to fade and morph, like the depth of colors, or the supple peach which becomes unattractively wrinkled and the size of a grapefruit. A little late to worry about it.
Every mistake is a lesson to be learned, a lesson usually discovered as we get older. Like when you're eighty and see the beautiful peach tattoo covering your left breast now looks like shriveled fruit, resting on the top of your foot. Not really a problem, except you’re standing upright while looking down upon it. No big deal, right? It is what it is. Throw it over your shoulder, with the equally saggy right one, and move on. What has occurred is called gravity. Things tend to go “south” as we age. Things also tend to fade and morph, like the depth of colors, or the supple peach which becomes unattractively wrinkled and the size of a grapefruit. A little late to worry about it.
Love of one's self. That, for me, is what it comes down to. Loving who you are and making the most of what God gave you. You can't cheat God. God makes us who we are for a reason. It is up to us to find that reason and you won't find it with a scalpel or a tattoo needle. If God wanted you to have more, you’d have it. If God wanted you to have a tattoo, you’d have been born with a humorous limerick emblazoned across your butt cheeks. I have faith in God’s endless sense of humor.
With all this in mind, I’d recommend looking deeper than the skin for what you think you need. You might find that you need nothing else than who, what, and especially why you are. Oh, and if you're really looking forward to that bit of pain in your pleasure, I recommend the collected works of Donatien Alphonse François, as a start.
Just saying.
Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.
Just saying.
Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.
It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.
We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.
Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.
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