Sermon for Sunday - June 29, 2014: Communication

"The more elaborate our means of communication, the less we communicate."

-- Jason Priestley 

Communication is a confusing mistress.  Written communication is the worst.  We used to be taught how to write so people understood what we were trying to say.  Of course this quality writing usually took the voluminous pages of War and Peace to accomplish unless you were a gifted communicator of which few really were.  Social networking sites are the worst, and I truly believe they are a tool of evil.  Business networking sites are much better, but even a religious and spiritual networking site can fall prey to all of the usual ills; sex, politics, lies, and predatory members.  Want to destroy a friendship or a marriage?  Get onto a social networking site, especially one that lets you post volumes of photos.  Sooner or later something will show up that shouldn't. 

"The most important thing in communication is hearing what is said."

-- Peter Drucker

Telephonic, or verbal, communication was better than written by leaps and bounds, but misunderstanding still arose when the listener wasn't able to see facial expressions.  Jokes became insults, and apologies became hollow gestures to placate someone that hopefully would forget the incident before you saw them next.  Let's not forget the camera application that still allows those immediate photos of the wife in bed with the best friend to be put on the internet before the friend can even put his pants back on causing immediate destruction of life as we know it, and all for the sake of "better" living through communication.  Really?

"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug."

-- Mark Twain

Remember when we used to get together for lunch, or drinks, or for a walk in the park, and discuss life face-to-face?  There was an immediate ability to see misunderstanding and clarify it.  There was an ability to offer physical contact when you saw that someone was emotionally fragile and needed a hug.  You could tell when someone made a faux pas, an error in judgment, misspoke, or was seriously embarrassed over something they had just said.  There was very little room for miscommunication that could not be corrected on the spot.

"Any problem, big or small, within a family, always seems to start with bad communication.  Someone isn't listening."

-- Emma Thompson

There is nothing better than verbal communication, except for face-to-face.  One of the difficulties in writing a blog is getting across your point without pissing someone off because they misunderstood what you were trying to put across; they take it personally.  You don't have to use their name, just using an incident as as example can light this fuse.  Once the supposed damage had occurred, what is to be done about it?  Human nature would evidence that even an apology would fall on deaf ears at this point.  Trying to explain or reason the comment would either make the victim feel diminished or dig you in deeper than you were.  For the most part, this is a no win situation.

"Electric communication will never be a substitute for the face of someone who with their soul encourages another person to be brave and true."

-- Charles Dickens

A  bad outcome should be mitigated if the offended individual is a dear friend or family member, or at least that's what one would hope, but it is not always the case.  Even good friends, that you would expect more of, can be deeply seeded in their own conviction that they expected more of you, and they would probably be right.  One should consider everyone's feelings before posting writing something for others to ponder.  When I consider that my blog exist to incite controversy, this seems like a self-defeating concept.  I might as well not write if I have to worry about everyone's feelings.  So, the other option is to let the post hang out there like a neon flag and just deal with the fallout, hoping against hope that at least your friends and family will understand what you are trying to accomplish.  

Good luck with that.

Note:  In a perfect world, I would leave you to ponder something perfect, but it is not a perfect world so I leave you with a pipe dream from Steven Covey.  Don't we all wish this were true?  What we are should speak volumes when one is considering what we say.  Speakers are supposed to consider their audience when writing a presentation.  I think the audience should show as much consideration with the speaker.  As an example, if the speaker is a conservative and you hear a liberal comment, before jumping to the conclusion that he is a liberal, try thinking that perhaps you don't know enough about him to judge.

It just might be on you.

"In the last analysis, what we are communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do."

-- Stephen Covey

Responsibility for Happiness

“You can’t be responsible for everyone else’s happiness if you can't even manage to be responsible for your own.”

I have a very simple question that everyone should ask themselves all the time, it is my favorite question and the most important, in my view.  Why?

I was in a discussion where the topic turned to this person believing everyone thought she was responsible for their happiness.  After a few minutes, it became pretty obvious that she had fallen into a trap where everyone had made her responsible and she'd bought into it.  I pointed this out to her and she continued to target the others for making her responsible.  I finally had to be pretty blunt about it.  Why do you feel responsible for everyone else’s happiness?  Did somebody saddle you with that responsibility, or did you just figure, “What the hell?  My own life is crap, so maybe I can help some other poor dumb bastards find happiness.”  She started crying.  My bad.  But, it did bring some clarity for the rest of our conversation.  Now, she owned it.

Why do you think it is easier to take care of the happiness of others than to take care of your own?  If you give a starving man a steak, he’ll still complain about how it’s cooked.  Let him cook his own damned steak so you can go have that super-meat-combination pizza you've been craving.  You can’t save the poor from themselves any more than you can make someone happy that is perfectly content to drown in misery.  Let them drown!  I suppose I'm old school.  Sink or swim.  Throw a person that can't swim into the deep end of the pool and see how fast they can self-learn to dog paddle.  Having taken a Red Cross lifeguard course, I can tell you that a sure way to drown yourself is to try and rescue someone that's drowning who is going to fight you instead of listening.  The only recourse is to punch them square in the face and drag their limp, carcass into shore.  They'll probably be drowning at the same time, same place, next week.  You just can’t cure stupid.  

Why are most of us humans are survivors?  Left to our own devices, we will probably rise above adversity.  At least that's the way it was before we started handing everything out for free and having no expectations of anyone.  God weeds out those that won't learn or rise above adversity.  We can't stop that process unless people want to listen.  The best way to help someone is not to help them, so to speak.  I think it's better to teach them to help themselves.  Give a man a fish and he eats for a day.  Teach that man to fish and he can feed himself for life.  It isn't that we help, it's how we help that's important.  Unless they're a child, the worse thing we can do is accept responsibility for anyone.  Show them how to be responsible for themselves, if they truly want to.  If they don't, there is little to be done for them.

Why let someone try to be responsible, or think they are responsible, for your happiness?  You wouldn't let some stranger invest your hard earned money, why the hell would you let them try to invest your happiness.  If they know how to invest money they'd be on a beach in the islands, not talking to you.  If they’re so damned good at being happy, why is their happiness making you so damned miserable?  Their happiness should be naturally infectious, right?

Why do we listen to others?  Why do we let them “help” us make decisions in our lives?  Why don't we step up and take control of those decisions for ourselves?  Is it too hard?  Of course, it is, and it takes time.  Rebuilding happiness doesn't happen overnight any more than losing happiness did.  Worse yet, if you think you're miserable now, wait until you feel the frustration inherent in fighting to rise above it.  Frustration can make you want to give up on everything.  Don't be weak and give in.

Why do we equate happiness with material wealth?  I consider myself much wealthier than those who have everything, and I have just enough to be comfortable.  I worked hard to get here, just to find how little it actually takes to make me truly happy.  I always advise people to lose the drama in their lives.  It always made sense to me that happiness hides behind the drama we invite into our lives.  Drama is the smoke and mirrors which hide our reality.  The reality is, we are all capable of our own happiness.  But, first, you have to learn to get shed of all the crap in your life.  Just let it go!  Scream, kick, spit, take a deep breath, and let it all go.  Nothing is truly worth all the grief we visit upon ourselves.  A few ideas that may help:  

Don't fight those things you have no control over.  Let them go.  Take care of those things you do control and then, if you feel the need, come back and tackle the rest. 

Don't surround yourself with negativity.  Let it go.  If the negativity is coming from people around you, let them go.  If it’s family, guess what?  It’s time to let them go.  They need to grow up or find another hobby because you aren't it. 

Don't incur debt.  If you have debt, make the conscious decision to stop taking on more of it.  Downsize your crap, especially stuff you owe money on.  Sell the expensive new car you took a sixty month loan on.  Sixty months?  Are you freaking insane?  New cars alone will have you in debt for more than half your life.  Get a used vehicle and spend cash on it.  If you can’t take a trip in the used car because you only trust it around town or to and from work, guess what?  You can’t afford to take a freaking trip!

I had someone throw their opinion of my life back at me the other night.  They asked, what would I know about all of this?  I've always had the money or people to help me.  I found it funny as I remembered how I had to work for my weekly allowance a kid.  How I worked for 23 years in the military and another 17 for a private company.  I remembered how it felt to lose everything I owned; my house, my savings, half of my military retirement, my family and my kids.  I remember how it felt to sit there, alone in the dark and come so close to the point of giving up and ending it all.  I remember telling myself I was better than this.  I remember when I made the conscious decision to never let anyone do that to me again; to make me that miserable and that unhappy.  I remember telling myself I was willing to do whatever it took to get over that hump.  I remember how demeaning it felt to be bailed out of jail for something I didn't do and the humility of accepting just enough charity from others until I got back on my feet.  I didn't ask for any help, but help was offered along with a butt-load of advice.  And, most of all, I remember the ten years it took me to turn it all around so I could retire at 56 and never have to look back.  

It wasn't what I know about this inasmuch as why I know about this.  Choices and consequences.  Our lives are the choices we make and the consequences which follow.  If your life is crap, it is due to some decision you made.  Don't look for someone to blame unless you're looking in a mirror.  Our lives are our lives, and it is so much better to learn to own it than to misplace blame for all the drama we invite into it.

It really takes very little “stuff” in our life to make us truly happy.  We won't understand this until we lose it all, but it's true.  By the same token, my money didn't buy my happiness, I did.  I buy it every morning I wake up and praise God for another glorious day in paradise, and another day to excel on this path which I have set myself upon.  

I learned that I cannot be responsible for everyone else’s happiness.  Their happiness is all about their own path.  I can mentor them down it, only if they want me to, but I cannot be responsible for their ultimate outcome.  They must make the decisions and take ownership of the outcome.  It is their life! If you have a child that can’t stand on their own, what will they do when you die tomorrow?  Let them go!  Guide them, give them advice and love, but they have to try, and fall, and try again, or they will surely die before you, if not long after.  This is what we used to call "good parenting."  Is this heartless?  Some might think so, and that's fine with me.  

I will not continue to enable people to be less than they are by saying it is okay.  It isn't!  Our country has bought into the philosophy of mediocre; it is okay to "get by" and not try.  Everyone gets a trophy so no one feels like a loser.  Really?  I hear a lot of people telling me they feel like losers, and they're sick of it.  I hear them telling me they're tired of their loser friends pushing and pulling them.  They're tired of their loser family wanting them to make everything better without once thinking about how bad it is for the people they're asking it of.

Don't confuse compassion with responsibility.  I can feel compassion for the starving homeless, but I feel no responsibility for their happiness.  There are those mentally incapable of ever being what we would consider capable of holding down a job.  For those that are capable, how can we ever expect them to do the job if they are too weak to even apply for it?  I feel no responsibility for their happiness as this is something they must discover for themselves, but this does not negate my compassion for their hunger.  You cannot save the poor from their lot as they have to desire that salvation for themselves.  Only then do they have a chance for success, and only then can you assist them in their endeavor, but you are still not responsible for them.

Is it heartless?  You decide.  

As usual, this is just my humble opinion and I'm almost positive you have an opinion as well.  Don't just wallow in it, make it heard!  Do it here with a comment, e-mail, or write a post for me and I'll put it up (as long as it meets my stringent criteria).  Yeah, right...

"God did not call you to keep everyone happy.  You are not responsible for other people's happiness; you are responsible to keep yourself happy."

-- Joel Osteen, Joel Osteen Ministries

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.

The Gospel of Judas: Disciple, Betrayer, or Beloved Friend?

"People would say bad things about you, because it is the only way their insignificant self can feel better than you."  -- Dennis E. Adonis, Guyanese author and poet

The Gospel of Judas is believed to be a translation of an earlier Greek document written prior to 180 A.D. by an anonymous author.  The importance of the text evidences the relationship of Judas to Jesus:

“It goes on to describe Judas as Jesus’ closest friend, someone who understands Christ’s true message and is singled out for special status among Jesus’ disciples.”  -- Stefan Lovgren, National Geographic News, 2006

An interpretation is offered that Jesus preferred this betrayal be done by a friend than by an enemy.  If you consider what we know of Jesus from the Bible, this makes perfect sense.  But, let’s consider what Ben Witherington III, of Asbury Theological Seminary says:

“The manuscript tells us nothing about the historical Jesus of the historical Judas.  It tells us a lot about a group that were labeled heretics in their own day… There is no evidence that any of these documents (Gnostic texts) ever represented mainstream Christianity…The Cainites were always on the fringes of their own movement.”

He goes on to question what a text written 150 years after a death would tell us of the inside truth of the individual.

 

There are no certainties about this document.  It is written sometime prior to 180 A.D. which could mean between then and the death of Christ for all they know.  The Cainites are the “probable” authors of the text, again there is no evidence.  There is substantial evidence for the existence of the gospel as is it mentioned several times in other ancient texts.  It is “probably” translated from a Greek copy which means, if I have the process down right, the Greeks were copying the Egyptian and I have no idea what that tells us except that one has to wonder how much truth is lost during translations, which leads me back to my entire mistrust of any Bible text, much less the Gnostic.

 

Witherington’s particular interpretation translates well for the Christian church, and a Vatican that would obviously wish to downplay any text that question’s the validity of the Bible.  That he bases none of his comments on concrete facts is due to the only true fact - there are none.  Everything is based on “educated” conjecture.  You know the “educated” intelligentsia that comes up with this conjecture.  These are the people that say eggs aren't good for you, and then reverse themselves;  they say civilization is only 4,000 years old… no, wait… they mean 6,000, no… now it’s 10,000; and the ever popular doctors in the “practice of medicine” which they call a practice so they have an “out” when they muck it up.  Educated conjecture is just a way of saying, we won’t really know until we know.  It is based on “best guess” which is one hell of a way to cement a faith.  I have faith, don’t get me wrong.  I just don’t base my faith on blatant bullshit being shoveled by religions whose sole purpose is control, not the unerring love of Christ.

So we are left with a story that may very well have been transcribed by someone hearing Judas’ own deathbed confession of the truth.  There was no reason for him to maintain the ruse as the required outcome had already occurred and, even according to his own gospel, future generations were going to damn him regardless of the truth.  I have to ask myself why Christ would sentence a disciple to death.  Even in the Bible the story plays to Judas not even considering betrayal, yet he does it anyway?  Bullshit.  This is the secretly planned act of a cherished friend and follower doing what he was asked.  As in any court, if there was the slightest hint of conspiracy between the two of them the entire outcome may have played out differently.  History has borne the truth and confirmation of our complicity to Christ’s own prophetic words to Judas of eternal damnation for his requested act.  We damn Judas for doing exactly what Christ knew had to be done, and as much as ordered him to do it, even in the Bible.  And what does this say about us?  Was this another test of man’s inherent ability to show our eternal lack of forgiveness, understanding, and the sweet reasonableness that was Christ?  Are we doomed to never be anything more than egotistical rabble wandering through life with a misconception that we could ever reach the gates of heaven?

If the Gnostic texts are the creation of Christian sects trying to splinter away from mainstream Christianity, why do these texts read so differently than Biblical texts?  Why do they seem to make so much more sense and play to what we would all expect to hear issue from the mouth of Christ?  Did the Council leave these texts out for this exact reason, because it would be harder to maintain control and fill the coffers if people remembered the truth?  Is this why so few Gnostic texts, that we are aware of, survived to this day?  Is this a conspiracy 2,000 years in the making?

I believe our misconceptions surrounding biblical stories are slowly coming to light as more parchments like the Gnostic texts are unearthed.  God will not let man’s lies stand forever.  It will be our responsibility to look at the evidence that is presented from both sides and determine where our faith in God stands.  Do we remain barbaric hordes that play at civility, or do we finally accept the philosophy of truth, love, forgiveness and understanding that we would all like to believe was embodied in Christ?

I think, regardless of whether you believe the Bible or the Gnostic text, it is passed time for Judas’ forgiveness.  It is time we let it go.  In this way he may find peace, and we may find salvation.

"Have you heard of the most evil things done by people in their lifetime?  They have coveted men's wives, killed hundreds of Christians and sold their best friend's life away for just a few coins.  Isn't it interesting that they were God's chosen in the bible?  --- Saul, Judas & King David"  -- Shannon L. Alder, author

As always, this is just my humble opinion.  I hope I'm not wrong as I would like to think we will, sooner or later, grow beyond what we are and blossom into something more compassionate and forgiving.  If you have an opinion, please voice it.  If you don't, please consider this post and form one of your own. 

Sermon for Sunday - June 22, 2014: The Congregation for Religious Tolerance - One Year Anniversary

So, here I am, marking the one year anniversary of "The Path" and the Congregation for Religious Tolerance.  I started out with no particular goal in mind, and accomplished no particular goal.  Surprise!  What I did do was meet many new people and made a butt load of friends, 9471 of them, all over the world.  Now, one has to do the math here, to put this number into some context for the math challenged, like...me.  So, let's crunch the number down, shall we?

273 individual posts, averaging 21 posts per month.

9,471 total page views = 789/month = 197/week = 38/post (give or take).

Wanting to give myself the benefit of the doubt, we will assume (the "ass" being more me than u) that these all aren't the same 38 people.  I take solace in the fact that, even if they are the same 38, they are spread out across the globe to 33 countries.  Let's take a look at the top ten countries of the thirty-three I have managed to record from the spotty statistics provided by the website.

8581 = U.S.

409 = Russia

119 = Germany

62 = S. Korea

57 = Ukraine (Really?  Even the Ukraine?)

29 = China

24 = U.K.

16 = Malaysia (In the top 10?)

14 = France

8 = Canada (I expected more from you, my northern brothers and sisters.)

Regardless of the iffy statistics, the comments and e-mails remain positive.  There is no shortage of opinion on world events especially with Islam and the ISIS terrorist organization cutting off the heads of countless civilians in their march across Iraq.  If this is okay with Islam, the entire religion has collapsed into a rabble of heretics, flying in the face of Mohammad's Qur'an and any peaceful philosophy he may have desired.  I refuse to believe this.  I have to believe that there are those that still profess and practice the peaceful tenets of Islam.

So, I will continue to post and bloviate for another year, and perhaps another and another.  I will rely on Pope Francis to continue to put his best foot forward, regardless of Vatican naysayers.  I will continue to hope that the leaders of "peaceful" Islam will find their voice, and an outlet for it, in order to let the entire world know the true intent of Mohammad and deny the terrorist a safe-haven in Islam.

Ontario Consultants on Religious Tolerance (OCRT) has a Statement of beliefs which I think each and every person looking for a good definition of religious or spiritual tolerance should consider.  I have provided an excerpt of the tenets of that belief as well as the link to their website if you would like to consider their philosophy further (http://www.religioustolerance.org/statbelief.htm).

Note:  The ideas put forth below are those of the OCRT and not me, or The Path.  Although I agree with much of what they profess, everything can be made better with time and new concepts.  Whether you agree with what they profess, or not, what they have here is an excellent starting point and I feel it is well worth the read.

Personal worth: The inherent worth of every person. People are worthy of respect, support, and caring simply because they are human. Unfortunately, our group has not reached a consensus on when human life, in the form of an ovum and spermatozoon, becomes a human person with civil rights including the right to live. On this matter, our group's lack of agreement on when person-hood begins mirrors that of society at large. 

Lack of discrimination: Working towards a culture that is relatively free of discrimination on the basis of gender, race, sexual orientation, gender identity, religion, national origin, physical disability, language, age, body shape, etc. 

Dignity: The dignity of the human person. We oppose the use of torture and cruel or unusual punishment including the death penalty. 

Democracy: The importance of democratic processes within religious, political, and other structures in which the will of the people is implemented, subject to the limits imposed by the constitution.

Religion-state matters: The separation of religion and the state. (This is generally referred to as "separation of church and state." But we prefer the more inclusive term). The government should avoid promoting one faith group within a religion over another, or promote one religion over another, promote religion over secular beliefs, or promote secular beliefs over religion. 

Personal freedom: The freedoms of religious beliefs, speech, association, and expression at the individual, congregational and denominational level.

Freedom of speech: The freedom to compare the beliefs of faith groups with each other, and with the findings of science. It also includes the freedom to criticize faith and other groups when they harm others. 

Relative truth: The principle that many moral, ethical, and religious beliefs vary greatly from one culture, religion, and time to another, and are thus relative. We do acknowledge that they are often considered absolute by various religious and secular belief systems.

Impact of religion: The generally positive influence that most religions have had on their followers and on society.

A problem with the use of prayer: It is our belief that prayer is an unreliable method to assess the will of God. We were initially divided on this matter, but a pilot study appears to indicate that prayer for this purpose is unreliable.

Evil in religion: In the importance of individual believers detecting evil influences and policies that currently exist within their chosen faith group, and strongly advocating for their correction. If significant improvement or elimination of sexism, racism, homophobia, trans-phobia, xenophobia, etc. is impossible, we feel that they should consider withholding financial support and/or leaving the group.

Education: The principle that people are not truly educated unless they have studied the world's major religions and ethical systems. They need to learn of both the good and evil impacts that each has had on society throughout history. They need to be taught skills at analysis and "baloney detection."

I would like to examine a verse from the Bible that some would say negates tolerance for any religion except Christianity, John 14:6, when Jesus says:

"I am the way, and the truth, and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me." 

Again, this lends itself to a multitude of interpretations.  For those wishing to control the masses through and set up division and intolerance, this verse can be read to accomplish exactly that.  Or, was Jesus simply stating that, only through his philosophies of gentle loving, forgiving, and reasonableness will one will find the Kingdom of God?  These philosophies of Jesus are the same philosophies that make up the tenets of many other peaceful spiritual and religious belief systems.  So, if we consider the latter to be true, then, regardless of spiritual or religious belief, if you practice these peaceful and loving steps to enlightenment, you will ultimately find the Father.

I read the Bible in a different context than most other Christians.  I read it with the firm belief that it has been bastardized from the loving intent of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, just as the original intent of the Qur'an has been lost by most of Islam at great cost to innocence throughout the world.

What makes one spiritual or religious belief better than another?  Their acceptance of tenets based in love, understanding, peace, and tolerance.  But, even in this, it only makes them different, not better.  Once a belief system leaves these tenets, however, they face the downhill slope to anarchy in which no one wins a place in heaven.

As always, these are just my opinion, and we all have one.  Voice yours and open yourself up to creative, peaceful discussion and debate.  Remember to peacefully agree to disagree, and much can be learned.  Remember also, tolerance is the "willingness to accept feeling, habits, or beliefs that are different from your own."  This does not mean you have to agree with them, only that you accept they have a right to their peaceful beliefs.

Go with God this Sunday and consider tolerance as part of your daily routine.  I am posting this on Friday, as I plan to take my father fishing Sunday to relax and contemplate current events in my own life and my own role in God's wonderful universe.

Love Is Not like Chalk

Some people say my love is like chalk, 

that I can write it on and erase it whenever I choose. 

Well, they're wrong. 

I use Crayons.

When I wrote this poem, so many years ago; before college, before the military.  It was a heartfelt sentiment.  Now, after a life spent proving it, it has become a truth I find hard to deny, were I to try, and I have tried.  I always felt that an ability to erase love felt was a love never truly given.  If you can say to yourself that I have the ability to leave this person and just stop loving them, then you never truly loved in the first place.  God ordered Abraham to kill Isaac, his son.  What God would condone this, much less order it?  I would have denied this sacrifice and offered myself up, instead.  In this way, I would have saved my son and still proved my faith.  But, how sad is it that he actually contemplated following through with the request?

Personally, I have only truly hated one person in my entire life.  I hated this person for years, for what was done to me, for how badly I was hurt for their own selfish reasons.  But, hate did not replace the love I felt for this person.  The hate I felt was due to the unrequited love I had felt.  This was selfish of me to expect love in return for love given.  But, you just don't erase twenty years of love any more than you can erase a single day of it.  Love is, after all, a much stronger emotion than hate.  It took me another twenty years to realize this simple truth.  

What was done to me was heartless and cruel, but my hatred has since been tempered by the constant memory of the love I felt, I always felt, and still feel, even today.  I still despise what was done to me, no one should ever have to be put through hell for someone else's selfish agenda, but I have learned forgiveness.    I have owned my part in the drama and this is a good thing.  Even if the perpetrator never recognizes their own failings, I still wish them a happier life and God's grace.  It is all I was left with to offer them, and this is enough.

Can you simply love and walk away? Can you erase years of love at the flip of a switch? I thought I could, but I forgot what I had written.  I was right all along; I couldn’t.  Love is a hard emotion to get shed of.  I think it's one reason we try to replace it with hate.  The frustration and the hurt are so intense, from losing our investment in the hardest of emotions, we strike back with hate, the easiest of the emotions which we can reach for.  Because hate is so easy to feel we must always temper it with tolerance, understanding, and even a bit of honesty.  We must look inward to see if we don't own a share of blame for whatever occurred to cause the loss.

So, when you tell somebody you love them, it shouldn't be a frivolous statement thrown out there like confetti at some drunken party.  Perhaps it would serve us better to consider if we could ever see ourselves erasing such a statement from our reality blackboard. If the answer is yes, maybe we shouldn't put the statement out there.  Throwing an important word like "love" around willy-nilly can devalue the emotion behind it, and "love" without emotion is nothing more than a hollow, selfish, feeling thrown out into the universe by a very shallow person, indeed.

"Forgive and give as if it were your last opportunity. Love like there is no tomorrow, and if tomorrow comes, love again."

-- Max Lucado, author, writer, preacher

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.

Be an Old Oak

“An Oak tree is a daily reminder that great things often have small beginnings.”

-- Matshona Dhliwayo, philosopher, entrepreneur, author

I took this photo in the front yard of my parent's house.  It seems representative of many people I have met; their lives defined by amputated limbs of failed paths and subsequent scars that have started to decay due to the natural course of neglect.  Yet, here amidst the decay, we see new life has taken a foothold.  This ancient Live Oak is nowhere close to being dead and this new life will make full use of what the old oak has to offer at little expense to the oak which already supports a myriad of other life.

When we think of our lives as older, or even as decaying, scarred, and useless, we forget to consider the life we give to those around us.  We forget how much people we know rely on our strength like life clings to the branches of the old oak.  Where others may fall to the wayside in the course of life, our strength may soldier on many more years giving hope and life to future friends, family, and passers-by.  Our strength can stand as a beacon of hope and light for countless others.  From a small acorn, a mighty oak emerges, grows, and nourishes the life around it. Be an old oak!

Never sell yourself short.  You always have so much more to offer for those with so much less.  Be strong like the old oak.

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.

America Likes To Forget History

This was sent today and I felt it was interesting, for one, but I also thought it was a good example of America, Americans, and American media marching in lock-step to the idea of forgetting history.  9000 fallen heroes demand that we not.  To that end, I reprint as a post the e-mail I received and ask that we try to remember their sacrifice.  Please check out the website.   

"A large percentage of our country doesn't know of or care about Normandy. My guess is it has been removed from the text in History Books. 

A few weekends ago, British artist Jamie, accompanied by numerous volunteers, took to the beaches of Normandy with rakes and stencils in hand to etch 9,000 silhouettes representing fallen people into the sand. Titled The Fallen 9000 < http://thefallen9000.info/> the piece is meant as a stark visual reminder of those who died during the D-Day beach landings at Arromanches on June 6th, 1944 during WWII. The original team consisted of 60 volunteers, but as word spread nearly 500 additional local residents arrived to help with the temporary installation that lasted only a few hours before being washed away by the tide.  9,000 Fallen Soldiers Etched into the Sand on Normandy Beach to Commemorate Peace Day on September 25, 2013.  

What is surprising is that I saw nothing about this here in the US.  An overseas friend sent it to me with a note of gratitude for what the US started there."

It's Complicated

“All you really need to know for the moment is that the universe is a lot more complicated than you might think, even if you start from a position of thinking it's pretty damn complicated in the first place.”

-- Douglas Adams (1952-2001), author, scriptwriter

It’s complicated, right? You know that going in, but you do it anyway. You tell yourself nothing good can come of it, and you’re right, as always. Always right.  At least it seems that way. It’s a curse you joke about, except when you don't; those times when discretion dictates you keep your mouth shut.   Keeping your mouth shut not being a strong point.  It's about honesty; no holds barred and no games or expectations, no bullshit; you lay right out there, bearing it all, like raw meat for the carnivores to feast upon; those members of the League of the Perpetually Offended - the carnivores. It’s isn't complicated, doing the right thing, and yet, it is.

“I’ve yet to see any problem, however complicated, which when you looked at it the right way didn’t become still more complicated.”

-- Poul Anderson (1926-2001), author

You spend untold years simplifying your life. Years tearing down the old and building anew; turning crap to paradise; paring dozens of created realities down to a manageable few, and those few exist primarily because of the necessary and welcomed intrusion of friends and family. Even with these few accepted "complications" you still feel secure enough to lay it all bare.

You stand there emotionally naked, arms outstretched, face toward the sky; total supplication. You lower your arms and relax. Your breathing is minimal, if noticeable at all. Total relaxation.  Meditation to the point of post-hypnotic trance.  There it is, like Mary Magdalene; a complication not to be ignored. Is what you see a hiccup in God’s plan or a hiccup that God planned? Test or treat; gift or curse; pain or pleasure; threshold, doorway, or dare? Complicated.

“Strange how complicated we can make things just to avoid showing what we feel!”

-- Erich Maria Remarque (1898-1970), novelist

Your brow furrows in consternation.  You opt for bed and sleep. But, sleep is elusive this night as you toss and turn, trying to shake feelings and emotions which insinuate themselves, like ghosts, back into your well-oiled machine, and then, finally, hours later, oblivion. But, oblivion is short lived as a recurring nightmare once again comes forth to haunt you with imagined moans and screams, visions of dying masses falling before some nuclear devastation which exists only in the minds of the planners. You awake to find yourself sitting upright in bed with the tail-end of a scream muffled behind your closed mouth. Perspiration envelopes you like high humidity in a dense jungle. You look at the phone for the briefest of moments. Is anybody out there?  You don't really expect a call, from anyone. Tears or perspiration?  You use the sheet to wipe your face.  Sleep?  As usual, sleep has gone.  It's still dark out.

Complicated.

“Some things in life are too complicated to explain in any language.”

-- Haruki Murakami, author

You step to the window and gaze out on the moonlit street; quiet, peaceful except for the cicadas in the oaks, an occasional hoot from the owls. Another night in paradise and all is secure, here, in America, the United States. You find your way to the other room, to the desk, feeling for the power button to the laptop. 

While the computer goes through the motions, you return to the bedroom. The clock says 3:30. Washing the sheets is a fleeting thought; too early for it.  You pull the sheet and the bedspread to the top of the bed and flatten them with one hand, pulling the sheet tight and tucking the edge under the mattress; hospital corners.  An easy bed to make, especially when you sleep on top of the only half that's slept in... and for only half the night. You mentally try bouncing a quarter on the spread.  Failing that military exercise, you look at the kitchen. Might as well make coffee. Coffee isn't complicated, right? 

No filters. Crap.

It's complicated. 

“I'm THAT complicated, mysterious, yet content with the "simple" things in life. Don't try to understand me; you won't figure me out. But you're free to like me the way I am.”

-- Marwa Ayad, author

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.

Responsibility for Happiness

"I can't be responsible for everybody else's happiness"

--Anonymous

"I can't be responsible for everybody else's happiness."  The author of this quote isn't anonymous to me, but I know he would appreciate not being assigned to this quote.  He had a valid point though.  Everyone seemed to expect him to make their miserable lives easier or happier, one way or another, as he became more and more unhappy in his own.  Finally, one day he threw up his arms in disgust and this line of truth issued forth from his pie hole.  Well, who can blame him?  I hear his type of story from lots of folks, time and time again.  I also hear the other side, wondering why some so-and-so is making life so hard or miserable, or why others just can't let them be happy.  The question was actually put to me, "Why don't they want me to be happy?"  Well, I don't know and, in all reality, I don't really care.  What I'm hearing is masochism; you letting someone else control your misery.

"Don't wait around for other people to be happy for you.  Any happiness you get you've got to make yourself."

--  Amy Walker, actress, director, singer

Why concern yourself with why someone doesn't want you to be happy?  I will try to make this simple, as if it isn't simple enough already, by offering up this example:  You are happy.  People come into your life who make you unhappy.  What do you do to make yourself happy again?  Don't over-think it with concerns of what their motives are, who they are, how they could do this to you, and such.  You were happy before, and now you aren't.  Why?  The obvious answer is, these people are making you unhappy.  Human nature is to dwell on why they're doing it, and as I always say, "why" is the most important question to ask.  The answer in this instance, however, is deflecting blame onto someone else, instead of owning it.

"Why?"  When we ask this question we can usually save much time by looking to ourselves first.  If people are making you unhappy, why are you around them?  Why do you allow them to stay in your life?  Ultimately, you are responsible for your life.  You make a choice and get a consequence.  If you feel there is a problem, start over and make a better choice.  You asked why you were unhappy and answered it - the people in your life.  If you want to dwell on another why, why they're doing it, for instance, then it might be best to do so after you make yourself happy again.  The solution is as obvious as the problem - get shed of the people making you miserable.

"Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action."

--  Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881), statesman, P.M. of the United kingdom

Only after distancing yourself from the misery insinuating itself into your life can you then pay attention to why they are the way they are if it is of great importance for you to know.  Personally, their shortcomings, immaturity, and opinions would be of little concern to my big picture.  I was fine before I knew them and I will be fine again without them.

"You must try to generate happiness within yourself.  If you aren't happy in one place, chances are you won't be happy anyplace."

--  Ernie Banks (1931-2015), baseball player

But, is answering this question more important than feeling happiness?  No, absolutely not.  People love to over-think their happiness or lack thereof.  Over-thinking just makes a task harder than it has to be.  People spend their lives chasing after happiness when their happiness is actually running like hell to keep up.  Happiness is all around us because it is already inside us.  We are too damn busy, as usual, coming up with a multitude of reasons not to see the forest for the trees.  I am a fan of a riveting inspirational speaker, from years ago, Leo Buscaglia.  He spoke of love, life, and friendship in a way that made you want to hear more.  He made a timeless statement about happiness:

"What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life."

 So, why do we try to enable other people to be in charge of whether we are happy, or not?  What sense does that make?  Why would you listen to some other miserable son of a bitch tell you how you should feel just because they're miserable, and believe them?  You need to be responsible for your own happiness; not your, lover, spouse, friends, or family.  You need to start holding yourself accountable for you.

"Happiness depends upon ourselves"

-- Aristotle (384 BC - 332 BC), philosopher

Sometime around the end of the first century, the historian Plutarch said, "Do not speak of your happiness to one less fortunate than yourself."  With all due respect to early Greek philosophy, bullshit!  Better you drown someone in your happiness than you allow them to drown you in their misery.  Lift them up and give them hope!  You don't need to brag or lord it over them, but use your happiness as a tool to show them things can be better, and it is within them to make it so.  The biggest barrier to happiness is to constantly worry about crap you have no control over.  Let it go!  Rather, work on those things upon which you can affect some positive change.

"There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of will."

--  Epictetus (50 - 135), philosopher

You cannot be responsible for anyone's happiness, and you shouldn't expect to be.  Everyone needs to take ownership of their own lives.  Would you let a stockbroker invest your hard earned money?  Then, why would you let someone else dictate your happiness or lack thereof?  Why would you let a priest pave your way to heaven when you know damned well God sees that you have done nothing for yourself?  No trip into happiness is really complete without visiting the fanciful literature of an author/philosopher who cuts open the human soul for all to see.  He considered happiness to be in the "details."   Of course, I speak of the Marquis de Sade:

"Happiness is ideal; it is the work of the imagination."

As usual, this post is all just my opinion, and I never forget that we all have at least one of our own.  If you're still feeling sorry for yourself, understand that you're the only one, so knock it off!  Try reading this again, and again, until you come up with a mature opinion that makes some sense for you and your happiness.  Stop deflecting responsibility for you onto other people who probably don't care, anyway.  And stop caring about the happiness of others until you find happiness for yourself.  If you can't heal and love yourself, care for and have faith in yourself, how in God's name can you truly do any of this for anyone else?  If someone else dictates an idea of happiness for you, is it really your idea of what happiness is, or theirs?  

"Happiness is an inside job.  Don't assign anyone else that much power over your life."

-- Mandy Hale, author, blogger

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.