Questioning Success, Mistakes, Maturity, Suicide, Rejection, and Choices

“I find no importance in showing others that I am happy; it's not important to me that they know or think that I am happy but what is important to me is that I am happy. I am interested in being happy, not in making others think or know that I am.”

-- C. JoyBell C.

How can one become successful when you are missing the temperament traits that drive one to be productive and a go-getter? This temperament is called choleric and I believe Tim Lahaye had the best understanding of it and it's called choleric.

Success in life is striving for true happiness always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. Anything else is called attaining a goal. By the way, you stated “choleric” twice. Important?

How do you go about knowing when to be compassionate and understanding versus when to be raw and straightforward when answering a question or giving advice? What tips it one way over the other (if that makes sense)?

This is confusing, to me. If I’m compassionate and understanding, then I’m raw and straightforward, I have no filter, which means you’ll get the truth as I see it, and you’ll get it with both barrels. The truth is what it is. It isn’t colored pink, with roses and beads, to soften the blow and be misunderstood. You’ll get the truth from me, as I see it. The raw truth tends to tip the discussion over, makes a mess, and you have no question of what is meant. This is the point of the raw truth.

Do you think people were “made for each other”?

There is someone for everyone. They, usually, don’t just show up to your party. It helps if you go looking for them.

Is the human brain better at predicting and planning for negative, as opposed to positive events?

Oh, hell yes! Humans are so well-equipped to plan for catastrophe. Unfortunately, we think we are better than reality, so we plan for the positive and then cry over spilled milk. We are so good at screwing up that there are a couple of television shows, ongoing, that report, in detail, our mistakes.

What’s the fastest way to recover from a terrible heartbreak?

Find another lover… fast.

In School, I was told by a teacher in Maths to not talk about Poland in general due to fears that I would continue making anti-Polish comments. Is there anyone else that would be a follower? If so, why do you think this is the right decision?

You have the right and freedom to voice your informed opinion, but not in math class, or any class except one discussing Poland. It is called “freedom of speech.” Your personal opinion, wrong or right, is for those who are willing to listen outside of academia. What I would recommend, however, is that your anti-Polish comments don’t rise to the level of hate speech. 

“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your "informed" opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.”

-- Harlan Ellison

What makes people not realize their mistakes?

Misplaced ego, ignorance, or not paying attention.

Once I have read something, how can I ensure that I have learned it?

Close the book and discuss or write the important points of it. Then, go back and check your recollection. If you have covered all the points, and have a good handle, an understanding, of what they all mean, then you have learned something. If not, then you have more work to do. Learning isn’t just repeating, it is also understanding the subject so you can discuss it intelligently.

If we are going to have wars throughout humanity what do we need?

Ammunition.

Yesterday one of my neighbour's children asked me about the baby's birth process. Should I tell them the truth or just ignore their curiosity? I want to answer their question but at the same time, I don't want to misguide them.

It is not your responsibility. The parents determine when they are ready. You should tell the parents that they asked the question and let them handle it. If you get in the middle of this, you could be in real legal trouble for interfering in the parent’s purview. Better to tell them and let them handle it.

What are all of my weaknesses and weak points?

Your weaknesses are your weak points. That might be one weakness, but, without knowing you, it would be impossible to tell, for sure.

How do I recognize a cult?

Any religion can be considered a “cult” by those who think their practices are considered deviant. The Masons, Scientology, and many other clubs and associations can also be considered cults, by definition.

Let’s consider the definition:

“Cult is a term, in most contexts pejorative, for a relatively small group which is typically led by a charismatic and self-appointed leader, who tightly controls its members, requiring unwavering devotion to a set of beliefs and practices which are considered deviant.”

-- Wikipedia

How do I become a mature person after marriage? Does maturity matter or does being ourselves enjoying in the correct way matter after a marriage?

You had better be a “mature” person before getting married. Maturity matters as much as a strong friendship and true love regarding longevity in married life.

Why are English people so bad?

They can’t hold their liquor as well as the Aussies. Just saying.

How can someone be certain about their beliefs without having complete knowledge? Can anyone truly be certain about anything without knowing everything?

They can’t, but most people don’t care. They are certain until they aren’t. It is the human way… since we can’t know everything. We can only be as certain as our cumulated knowledge allows us to be, and that “cumulation” is in question by most of the other idiots around us.

Have we become aware of our thoughts and knowledge because of the ability to reflect on it?

We are aware of our thoughts and knowledge at the nanosecond when we think of them. Our reflection, or memory, can validate or change our view of them. 

What does it mean if someone is stupid?

They have a moniker they need to work on losing.

Why does my enemy not look at me and ignore me?

They are your enemy. What makes you think they pay attention to you, much less give you the time of day? I would rather my enemy ignore me than be up in my face.

“Now there is a final reason I think that Jesus says, "Love your enemies." It is this: that love has within it a redemptive power. And there is a power there that eventually transforms individuals. Just keep being friendly to that person. Just keep loving them, and they can’t stand it too long. Oh, they react in many ways in the beginning. They react with guilt feelings, and sometimes they’ll hate you a little more at that transition period, but just keep loving them. And by the power of your love, they will break down under the load. That’s love, you see. It is redemptive, and this is why Jesus says love. There’s something about love that builds up and is creative. There is something about hate that tears down and is destructive. So love your enemies.”

-- Martin Luther King Jr.

Philosophically, is there actually anything wrong with suicide?

Other than being the coward’s way out?

If you are doing good in life, why is it their job to try and kill you?

I was in the Intelligence field. If we were near the front lines, why not? We were planning to kill all of them, so it makes sense to try and kill us.

What's something that would be good for me to learn about next?

Time.

Is it true that more intelligent person is person who take less time to solve problem correctly than average person? It take more than human's lifespan for average person to proof Fermat's Last Theorem but take less than for more intelligent person.

English must be a second language for you. The answer, however, would depend on the average person’s training. A trained plumber can put in a toilet faster than an intelligent person without training. I’d rather take a comfortable poop than proof Fermat’s Last Theorem.

Is it true that no one should be trusted?

The only person you should trust is you, and that is a crap shoot, at best.

What is the significance of adults behaving maturely in today's society?

If you are somewhere that they aren’t behaving maturely, it would probably be a breath of fresh air. Luckily, I hang with a group of retired and ex-military men who behave maturely. Yeah... that's bullshit. But we do try.

“The willingness to forgive is a sign of spiritual and emotional maturity. It is one of the great virtues to which we all should aspire. Imagine a world filled with individuals willing both to apologize and to accept an apology. Is there any problem that could not be solved among people who possessed the humility and largeness of spirit and soul to do either -- or both -- when needed?”

-- Gordon B. Hinckley

Why does someone assume you rejected them?

Something was done that made them feel that way. If someone were rude, that might do it. 

Why do some people ask questions when they are not seeking an answer, but rather just want their beliefs to be confirmed?

You’ve answered your question. They want their beliefs to be confirmed. If you can’t do that for them, they will go elsewhere in search of confirmation. These are usually members of the League of the Perpetually Offended.

Why do we focus so much on terrorism, when every day much more damage is done by bullying?

Is not bullying a form of terrorism?

Is all ignorance equal, or can one person be more ignorant than another?

You are correct. Ignorance can be more or less. I am ignorant of many things, but others are so much more ignorant than I am. I try to correct my ignorance by learning, while others are content in their ignorance.

Is there any harm in being perceived as unintelligent, even if you are not? Why do people care about being seen as smart?

There is no harm, but if you want to be perceived as intelligent, your inflated ego is in play.

What causes some individuals to have an inflated perception of their intelligence? Is it possible to accurately determine someone's IQ through conversation alone?

Some people think they are all that… when they’re not. Conversation can give you some clues to their intelligence, but not an accurate IQ. Not even testing can give an accurate IQ. It is more of a changing ratio for any given test.

“I think I have a lot going for me as far as dating. I have a high IQ, I'm 6'3", and on May 23rd I'll be Forklift Certified. That's right, I'll soon be qualified to transport stacked pallets, and I know that's the first thing women look for in a potential partner.”

-- Jarod Kintz

Is it fair to ask a person to make a choice when they don’t know what their choices are?

That would be pretty stupid, as well as unfair. I wouldn’t play the game.

Is there a correlation between intelligence and belief in a higher power?

People would like to believe there is, but it depends on the definition of “higher power” used. I believe there is a higher power. I am content to call that power “God,” although I am at odds with the Christian definition. There is, most probably, a “higher power” that created all things. Is it a living “God” as defined in the biblical text? I don’t know. Nobody knows for certain. They hold onto their own beliefs. Everyone has “faith” in what they believe. But “faith” is a belief in something for which there is little or no proof.  

Is it possible to know everything we do not know yet?

No. There will always be some “unknown” we need to discover.

What are the consequences of starting a fight and losing?

Yes. They look like a bigger ass than the one who started the fight, who would be them. Better to not start a fight and find some common ground.

What is something that no one else knows?

How to travel faster than light. It's all theory.

Is it bad that I love someone and rely on him so much that without him, I have no reason to be alive at all? 

Welcome to true love. I hope he feels the same way toward you.

“True love is usually the most inconvenient kind.”

-- Kiera Cass

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com