Questioning Living, Stupid, Looking, and Life

 

“We should not judge people by their peak of excellence; but by the distance they have traveled from the point where they started.”

-- Henry Ward Beecher

Why do kind and honest people find it difficult to excel in life?

I am kind and honest and I’ve almost never found it difficult to excel in life. How you approach life is a choice. You can make it difficult, or you can make it enjoyable. Make a good choice. 25 years of my life was shit, all because I made the choice to marry the wrong woman. It was my free choice, and I paid for it. But, other than that little speed bump, I have made much better choices and decisions for my life. You learn from the mistakes and failures you have chosen, and you move on to make better choices.

What do you think is an ideal way of living?

Strive to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of your consequences. It is a simple choice we all need to make.

Are there a lot of "skeleton in the closet" criminals around you, or do you believe most people are gracefully working legally? I am too lazy to keep working, so I don't know if other people are into what I'm doing.

I think the majority of workers are legal, for now. Since we have no southern border in the United States, this will not stand for very long. Most workers will be here illegally by the end of this decade. The fact that most of them are fleeing socialism is probably a good thing for our country, however.  It's proably a good thing you're too lazy to keep working. Whatever you're doing will probably be done cheaper by an illegal looking to make a buck.

Why do I have this urgent desire to control others and take away their free will?

A closet communist?

What are some questionable religious beliefs that you know?

Any spiritual belief that is tied to an organized religious sect, I question. It’s supposed to be written across our hearts and our minds, not written down in a book or preached in a building.

"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. Truly I tell you, they already have their full reward. But when you pray, go into your inner room, shut your door, and pray to your Father, who is unseen. And your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.…"

-- Matthew 6:5-6

How do I stop drawing stupid conclusions by linking unrelated topics together?

Not meaning to sound stupid, but, stop linking unrelated topics together.

Why do we live in such an absurd reality?

We make our own reality through the choices and decisions we make. Don’t go out of your way to make absurd choices and decisions, and try not to be around people that do. In this way, you can mitigate absurdity unless it is thrust upon you by some absurd person. 

When have you gone out of your way for someone who absolutely in every way completely just ignored your kindness? How did you deal with it, and why?

If I can help someone, I will. It is a selfless gesture that requires no recognition. I try not to help people just to have my ego stroked.

Is it selfish to only answer phone calls when it suits you?

I carry a phone for one reason, my aging mother. If not for her, I would leave the phone at home. I pine for the days when you could go all day without hearing a phone ring or seeing people with Bluetooth “hearing aids” pouring out of their ears like some techno status symbol. It makes me not want to talk to them for fear my conversation will be cut short when they answer a call. I’m not impressed by these folks. Selfish is not talking to people face-to-face or cutting people off so you can answer some inane call. Insane is when you walk down the street sounding like you’re having a conversation with yourself. I like to enjoy my “me” time without any uninvited interruption.

When learning, why is it that I know what the problem is but yet I just keep making the same mistake?

You are not learning. If you know what the problem is, how can you keep making the same mistake? Try harder. It isn’t failure that holds us back, it’s what we do with the failure.

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”

-- Thomas A. Edison

Why are mistakes so easy to make?

Because you don’t have to try to not make the mistake. To attain a goal you have to work toward it. To make a mistake, put your opposable thumb up your butt and hope everything turns out okay without you lifting a finger to attain the goal.

What is the difference between looking for meaning in life and not looking for anything special at all?

Knowledge.

Should students sit in the first row or in the last one?

If you really want to be a “student” I’d sit in the first row. You can hear, you will pay attention, and your questions will be the first answered. Or, you can sit in the back and doodle, or check out the babes. It is a choice.

How can you not judge others when everyone has their own opinion?

Best not to judge others for their opinion lest you be judged for yours. Better to be right than to judge.

What are some of the most valuable lessons you've learned in life?

Hard work is satisfying, perseverance is a good thing, there is no such thing as a free lunch, all women are beautiful, debt makes you someone’s indentured servant, always be humble, always be selfless, and true happiness is success in life.

“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.”

-- Roy T. Bennett

What are the most critical life lessons?

Be happy always and in all things, work hard at what you choose to do, find true love, and be ethical and selfless. 

Why do some people think that life is all about perspective?

They can’t think beyond what they see, hear, and feel.

Why am I so unloveable? I try my best to be kind and treat others well, but I never get treated well in return.

You’re mixing apples and oranges, here. Do you want to be loved, or do you want kindness and to be treated well? I can treat people well and with kindness, but not love them. Maybe it is the “expectation” that is the issue. You’re expecting back what you give. First, try loving yourself, and then go try loving others. Try being selfless and giving of yourself with no expectation of getting it back in kind.

Why is spirituality necessary in life?

It isn’t. Spirituality is necessary for understanding the afterlife.

How does atheism affect our concepts of right and wrong?

It doesn’t. What is right and wrong is still right and wrong whether you are an atheist or a theist. The feeling of contrition, the feeling of guilt, for doing wrong might be affected, however. Theists have to answer to a “higher authority” while atheists only have to answer to themselves.

Author's comment: Precisely, atheists are accountable to themselves and societal mores, where religious people outsourced their moral compass primarily to Bronze age goat herders who had barely mastered the written language, and the mythology of that time. It is somewhat concerning the religious don’t hold themselves more accountable for their behavior throughout the only life we know exists.

My reply: You misunderstand. Theists suffer contrition and guilt and still have to answer to society and “higher” authority. Atheists side-step the spiritual “higher authority.”

Author's reply: Atheists feel remorse and experience guilt, however those emotions generally don’t arise from a belief in offending a god.

Atheists’ behaviour typically isn’t motivated by appeasement and fear of a god.

Most adult atheists find it quite irrational to prioritize imaginary creatures, over real ones.

Also, in your response to the question, the statement, ‘What is right and wrong is still right and wrong whether you are an atheist or a theist’, presupposes the existence of objective morality, which has not been established.

My reply:  Neither has the existence or non-existence of God. There is no proof, either way, there is just faith in a belief.

“The legitimate powers of government extend to such acts only as are injurious to others. It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no god. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.”

-- Thomas Jefferson

How easy is it to decide to change your life?

Make the choice. After you make the easy decision to change, the real work begins.  Making choices is easy.  Bringing those choices to fruition is where the work is found.

What book changed your life that you want to suggest to someone?

Any book written by Leo Buscaglia. You simply can’t go wrong.

What does it take to be in your life?

Love, understanding, an open mind, selflessness, and a desire for pant-down spankings. Okay, maybe not that.

Where does self-realization lead me?

Eventually, to a better understanding of yourself. 

Can you name a book or author that changed your perspective on psychology?

Friedrich Salomon Perls, better known as Fritz Perls, was a German-born psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, and psychotherapist, and the founder of Gestalt therapy. 

Gestalt Prayer

"I do my thing and you do yours.

I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,

And you are not in this world to live up to mine.

You are you, and I am I,

And if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful.

If not, it can't be helped."

-- Frederick Perls

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony: tolerantpastor@gmail.com