Questioning Guilt, Change, Aging, Freedom, and Conflict

 

“God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to Wal-Mart and just look at people.”

-- Carlos Mencia

Do you ever feel guilty about buying fast fashion brands, or is it not a problem for you?

I have the money to buy top labels, but I choose to shop at Walmart. Sometimes, I'm the only "normal" one in there.  I am tough on clothes, especially shoes. Top labels don’t last any longer than discount brands.

When will I get myself sorted?

When do you plan to start?

Why do I feel guilty and like I don't deserve to live most of the time?

First things first, you have to find out why you feel guilty. Unless you’ve murdered someone, a jury would not sentence you to death. So, you can take a deep breath and know that you are, at least, that innocent. To feel deserving of death is an emotion to take seriously, especially if there is no reason for it. I recommend a suicide hotline just so you can talk this through with someone. Maybe they can point you toward a therapy group.

If I disagree and disbelieve that I am capable of everything and that people say I am capable of everything, what should I say and do?

Absolutely nothing. You have defeated yourself before you can say or do anything.

Why am I alive if I never asked to be born?

You had a choice? I can’t remember thinking back then, much less being able to make a choice. One would assume there would be more spontaneous abortions of those children not “asking” to be born. This might be a question best put to your parents. 

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”

-- Oscar Wilde

 Does a society change the people or do people change the society?

Both are true.

Why are some identities valid and some not? Does its validity depend on the amount of emotional attachment?

Validity depends on reality. It isn’t valid unless it’s real. Emotional attachment, or not, if it isn’t your real identity, it isn’t valid.  I could keep restating this, but I think the point is made.

I've lost one of my biggest dreams today. How do I find another one?

If they’re that big, they can’t be that hard to find. Try looking.

Why do people keep on looking for validation?

They want to know they’re doing the right things. They really don’t require validation if what they do is always right. The fact they need it says they might not be so sure. This means they may be skirting the wrong thoughts. Do good always and you have no need for validation. 

How would you suggest we help the world; meaning, out of the apparent imbalance?

We need to get rid of greed. Just a suggestion, though, not that it will ever come to pass.

“He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have.”

-- Socrates

How have your perceptions of growing old changed since you were a child?

You get older faster as you age. As a child, you have time to burn. As an adult, you start paying attention to the passing of days. I’m a tick away from being 70 years old. My dad passed at 89, and he outlived the men in his family by twice the age. 20 years seems like a long time, but then I realize COVID didn’t hit just yesterday, and neither has Biden.

I can think and know what to do, but I can't 'execute' it smoothly. Any comments?

But, you do execute it. “Smoothly” comes with the repetition of execution. The more you do something, the smoother it becomes to do.

What obstacles exist to further expansion?

Need, reality, funding, personnel, materials, space, and approval.

Is there a need? Is expansion realistic? Is funding available? Are personnel available? Are materials available? Is space available? And, will all of this be approved?

Why does my big sister allow me to be lazy and unmotivated? I'm a 26-year-old lady.

You present less competition.

Why do people keep saying wealth only lasts a few generations?

Because our progeny aren’t, necessarily, as good with money as we are. I use the lottery as an example. Most people blow through that money like it’s a never-ending gift from heaven. Any money you haven’t busted your own ass to make is so much less important when it comes to saving and reinvesting. My dad, God rest his soul, taught me the value of staying out of debt and being frugal with the almighty buck. I did the same with my children. If they do the same with their children, dads’ legacy might survive for a while.

“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.”

-- Epictetus

What does it mean when a person says, “I don’t like being touched by strangers”?

It means exactly what the person says… unless it’s an incomplete sentence. They might not mind being touched by strangers if the strangers are paying the right price. But, unless they clarify what they say, I wouldn’t touch them for fear of them opening up a can of whoop-ass.

How free are you to speak your mind?

No one has dared to try and stop me, recently. The military was another story.

Why do I always feel that I've learned enough and I know enough? How do I get over this feeling?

So, you think you’ve stopped learning? You have asked a question. Asking the question is a statement that you need more knowledge. It seems to me that you can get over the feeling, now.

Do you think that all of your friends will stay in your life forever?

People die. I’ll die. Define the “forever” of which you speak.

A dividend decision is an accounting type of decision. Is this True or False?

If we assume accounting is more than the “bookkeeping” definition then it is true. We all make decisions or choices based on what “dividends” those decisions or choices will garner us. The “payback” might be emotional, favors in kind, side-stepping bigger issues, or it could involve money. But, some “dividends” can be much more valuable than money in people’s lives. 

“When we invest in active listening, the dividend is an expanded capacity for compassion.”

-- Laurie Buchanan, PhD

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt threatened? How did you react?

I didn’t. A troop from the Survival School took care of the problem with one punch. Buying him a beer was probably my “reaction” after we dumped the unconscious problem outside the bar, per the bartender’s instructions.

How can I identify a hungry group of people and create a feeding frenzy?

Identify the need. Produce the product.

How do you deal with conflict seekers?

I try not to. In my experience, these are generally members of the League of the Perpetually Offended, always looking for conflict where there is none. I don’t have time for them, and I certainly won’t make time for them.

How can I overcome my fear of praying in public?

Read the bible. It states very clearly in Matthew:

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. Truly I tell you, they already have their full reward. But when you pray, go to your inner room, shut your door, and pray to your Father, who is unseen. And your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

-- Matthew 6:5-6

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony: tolerantpastor@gmail.com