Questioning Smiles, Victims, Couples, Tools, and Life

 

“The intentions of a tool are what it does. A hammer intends to strike, a vise intends to hold fast, a lever intends to lift. They are what it is made for. But sometimes a tool may have other uses that you don't know. Sometimes in doing what you intend, you also do what the knife intends, without knowing.”

-- Philip Pullman

What made you smile today?

Small children always make me smile, especially when they're playing. But, today, I saw one in a shopping cart at the market that made eye contact with me. We stared at each other until we both started laughing. The mother looked over at me and I bit my lip and looked away. She smiled. Grandpa having a fun moment.

Can God save, and forgive the evilest person on earth?

If they are earnestly contrite, they can ask for forgiveness and sin no more. Making right all the evil they have wrought, might be a good start on penance.

If all the information is now available everywhere in books, private teachers, academies, the Internet, etc… And ways to experience like labs or volunteering for companies why do we go to school and college and listen to the top successful people?

Just because you have information at your fingertips doesn't validate the information. We read we learn, we listen to “knowledgeable” people, and then we go out and try to prove them wrong. Just because there is a way, doesn’t make it the only way, or the best way. Change is the only true constant in the universe, so never couch anything as definite fact, unless you mention that “as far as we know at this time” is true. With this in mind, saying “all the information is available” is simply not true. All the information we know at this time is available. There is plenty of information still out there for us to discover.

Why does knowledge without cultural humility lead to arrogance?

It doesn’t always lead to arrogance, but being humble in your knowledge is usually a good tact. You don’t have to exercise arrogance to be seen as a “know it all.”

Why is it tough to accept negative feedback?

Nobody wants to be told they are wrong. People with open and active minds tend to see past this and critique if the feedback has merit. Feedback can be accepted or unwanted. If accepted, they should be ready for the good and the bad. If unwanted, I’d be the first to tell them I didn’t ask for their feedback. For the most part, however, feedback is a crucial way we determine if our intended meaning has been understood. It is a way we can critique ourselves.

“When you put yourself in the other person's shoes, you can see that the person critiquing you is merely trying to help.”

-- Fran Hauser

Do I have the right to punch annoying people? How can I admonish them for their annoyance properly?

No, it’s called “assault.” Tell them they are annoying. If they balk, ask them to please be annoying somewhere not around you. If that doesn’t work, leave. If they touch you during any of this, you might feel this to be an assault on your safety. You, at this point, might want to protect yourself.

What does it mean to play the victim in a problem you created?

You don’t grasp the fact that most people understand you created the problem, so playing the victim makes you look stupid to them.

Why do people try to bully you when you stand up for something you believe in?

“Try” is the operative word. The “bully” because they really don’t have a cogent argument to present. If you’ve had the opportunity to deal with bullies when you were younger, they tend not to phase you when you get older. You usually learn how to handle the mean and stupid.

Author's comment: They literally do what I think a bully does? Very disrespectful and without a reason. Imagine you tell them A is the first letter of the English alphabet, and they curse at your mother instead of stating an opposing view, or whatever it is that they have to say. I just want to know why that is because I've seen dozens of people who have been acting like this just recently. Thank you for your answer. 

Does humor save lives?

During my divorce, having a sense of humor certainly saved me. 

What is it called when you're purposely being a Smart Alec?

It’s called “purposely being a smart ass,” as opposed to “not meaning to be a smart ass. For the most part, people don’t really “not mean” to be a smart ass. Few people simply stumble into it. I usually tell people, “I don’t mean to be a smart ass, but you inadvertently asked for it.” In reality, I was waiting for the inevitable opportunity I knew they would present.

"Nobody likes a smart alec. Which is why it's always better for your career to be wrong and in company rather than right and on your own."

-- Daniel Hannan

How do successful couples make their relationships work?

Other than true love, good communication skills play a big part. Saying what you mean, hearing what they say, and accepting questions and feedback. I so didn’t have this in my 25 years of marriage, but I have had it in the 18 years I’ve been with my current significant other.

In life, as you grow older, what do you think wears thin?

Politics, bullshit, and patience.

Is an ultimate step in knowing and trusting yourself exercised by going to the most dangerous country(s) in the world knowing in advance you'll be safe, doing whatever you please there and you always return without coming into harm's way?

After spending almost 23 years in military intelligence, knowing and trusting myself has nothing to do with someone saying I’ll be safe, or doing whatever I please in someone else’s country. Both of these invalidate knowing and trusting myself because I’m flirting with coming to harm before I return. Knowing and trusting oneself has more to do with being ever-vigilant of where you are and what you do. You make yourself safe, follow the laws and the rules, and don’t cause trouble.

How can someone help me to enlighten me about the objectives and goals of evaluation and appraisal?

Determining quality and value.

What is the importance of culture in your personal and community life?

The “melting pot” of cultures provides ample opportunity to celebrate and understand the variety that is us. It also, usually, means there will be cultural alcohol and food. Never a bad thing, and always important when looking for something to fill a day.

“There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.”

-- Isaac Asimov

How are people anything more than tools?

If you don’t want to be a “tool” you need to make that choice. If I am forced into labor, I become a tool of the employer. If I choose to do labor, I volunteer, for the time at work, to be a “tool” so the employer can afford to pay me. The fact that we use employers for pay also means an employer is a tool, a means for me to earn make some cash. However, when I leave the job site, I choose to utilize my freedom to do what I want, within the bounds of societal laws. If you spend time as a “means to an end” you are a “tool” for that time spent. 

In most situations, we take responsibility for our actions and the harm we cause and do but sometimes some people tell me I have to take responsibility for things that are not my fault or things I did NOT do in the first place?

No, you really don’t. People that listen to that kind of advice are called “scapegoats” by the people not taking the responsibility for their own actions.

What is the meaning of life if all of us are determined genetically and by the environment in which we were raised as children?

Learning. We are here to learn lessons that will assist us in moving forward to our next existence. If we don’t learn the lessons, we don’t move forward. We become stuck where we are until we learn the lessons we are meant to learn. We all have different paths we are meant to follow, and following the path out of our environment can be one of those lessons.

How do humble people with so many fights?

I’m pretty sure this question is missing something.

Have you ever been at the moment that you feel like you want to cry but you don’t have the right to cry at all?

Nope. If I cry, I have the right to do it. It is my freedom of choice, consciously or subconsciously, to do so. As a man, I cry whether I’m happy, sad, or, for no damned reason which does confuse me. I’m just an emotional guy, and I’m proud to say it. I’ve been asked why I’m crying, and my answer has usually been, the freedom of the moment.

“The worst type of crying wasn't the kind everyone could see--the wailing on street corners, the tearing at clothes. No, the worst kind happened when your soul wept and no matter what you did, there was no way to comfort it. A section withered and became a scar on the part of your soul that survived. For people like me and Echo, our souls contained more scar tissue than life.”

-- Katie McGarry

How do you enjoy life? What memories do you value?

It took about 50 years for me to realize that happiness was the true success in life. How do I enjoy life? I wake up to the “gift” of another beautiful day in paradise and another chance to excel in life. The alternative simply sucks. During each day I strive to be happy always and in all things, regardless of my circumstance. I value all of my memories, the good and the bad, as each memory teaches me some lessons I need to learn. As a grandfather, though, the memories I value more than most, are those of the innocence of children. The young can teach us much about life that we have forgotten or never learned.

How would you teach someone to use other people’s money (OPM)?

Carefully, profitably, and with their permission.

Can we reveal the intentions of others, their orientations, their inclinations, or what they are planning to do?

If they are truly evil and planning to do harm, it is incumbent on us to stop them, even by simply notifying the proper authorities. If you choose to turn away, your silence makes you as guilty as they are of what they do. 

What has shaped your own values?

The military and the Intelligence field had a big hand in it, as did my parents before them.

Why are we all so obsessed with money? Why don't we focus much more on the little things that matter?

Greed, over money or something other, is never a good obsession. Wealth will make us happy, but it won’t make us truly happy. True happiness is the only true success in life. Many of us are never taught this by our parents or teachers. We grow up thinking that money is the only goal in life. But, if you’ve never learned to be truly happy, how will money teach this to you?

All money allows you to do is buy crap that you think makes you truly happy. But, then, you go out and buy different crap. Why? Didn’t the initial influx of crap make you happy? Well, obviously not truly happy, or you wouldn’t be buying more crap.

Sustainable happiness is making the conscious choice to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. This is true success in life.

“It's the little things, I expect. Little treasures we find without knowing their origin. And they come when we least expect them. It's beautiful, when you think about it.”

-- T.J. Klune 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony: tolerantpastor@gmail.com