Questioning Cowardice, Distraction, Failure, Lessons, and Hope

 

“The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else.”

-- Umberto Eco

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I haven't paid much attention, lately, to the highest-rated answer I've ever given, so I thought I'd bring everyone up to speed.  As of this morning, it has been viewed 444,600 times and upvoted 5,736 times.  For those interested in reading the post:

Did you ever get a request for a favor from a neighbor who never showed any respect or interest in you or your family? What did you do?

The guy next door. He asked if he could cut down a rotting tree the raccoons use. Wanted to bill me $2000 for a $500 job. I told him not to touch it. He cut it down anyway, when I wasn’t around, then billed me $2000. My legal team, lawyers from Louisiana and Mississippi, both advised me to tell him to go f*** himself. You have to love Southern lawyers. I cleaned the language up and sent him a form letter concerning trespass, ignorance, and the fact that he wouldn’t be getting any money out of me. (Last lines have been updated) We don't talk, not because I'm not willing, but because he seems to think he's all that. He flies a Marine Corps flag. I know my share of Marines. My gun is bigger than his. So far, he leaves me unimpressed. (More updates, as of this posting: We still don't talk. My gun is still bigger.  I'm still not impressed.)

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Is there a book that can teach me how to hide in this world from every responsibility I am committed to?

I’m not aware of any book that teaches cowardice in the face of responsibility. If you don’t want to stand up and take responsibility for things you are committed to, stop committing yourself to them. This is pretty easy. If someone else is committing you a responsibility, tell them to stop. Your life is not theirs to commit. If it is your job, you have the right to quit. There are more rocks to hide under than there are people who won’t accept responsibility for their commitments. Find one.

How do we make sure that our society does not become too individualistic?

Why would any free society wish for this?

How do you stay calm when you lost something (key, credit card, etc.) and you are searching for it?

Getting upset will not make it miraculously appear, so why waste energy better used to remember where the item is? I lose my credit card all the time. I go online to my bank and see where the last charge was made. Bingo! They have my credit card. If I misplace my keys, they have to be in the house, somewhere. I start by looking carefully at the counter surface which is granite. Surfaces like these hide things like keys in plain sight. Lose your cell phone, call it. The point is, getting upset at yourself for misplacing something solves nothing. Learn to not misplace things.

What are the benefits of being active on a social network site?

Imparting or obtaining knowledge.

Why should you make a bucket list? After your death, you’ll never remember it.

A “bucket list” is simply a list of things you’d like to do before you die. Remembering what you’ve done depends on if you believe in life after death. If you don’t, no worries, you can still check off those things you’d like to accomplish before you “don’t” experience the nothing you expect. For the rest of us, the possibility of some latent knowledge of skydiving might make us better skydivers next time around.

“Don't worry, I plan on living a long time."

"Why are you making a bucket list, then?"

"Because if you wait until you're really dying, it's too late.”

-- Gayle Forman

Does being distracted imply that there is something more important to be done?

That depends on if the woman is more important. We are all prone to distraction, but we have to learn to stand on it until the really important work is finished. If she is really worth the effort, she’ll wait.

How are problems solved by asking questions?

The more knowledge you have about the problem, the better equipped you are to solve it.

Why are humans amused by every little thing?

Because the alternative usually sucks. Can you imagine if everyone took all of life that seriously? We would all have frown lines at the ripe old age of eight. No, why we are amused at every little thing is not as important as being amused at every little thing. More of us need to learn to laugh at our own stupidity, while we’re laughing at others.

 Is it better to be feared or respected as a leader? Why?

Respected. Well, the longevity of life would be a big player.

Why does it take 35 minutes or more with only 3 people in front of you at the bank?

The person at the counter has a bigger issue than you, and you got in the wrong line and probably are afraid to get into another. You can do most transactions at the ATM machine if people piss you off. I’m learning to be more patient in lines. I find it a good time to strike up a conversation with the person in front of or behind you.

“Why is patience so important?"

"Because it makes us pay attention.”

-- Paulo Coelho

Is the division in our culture real, or is it a fabrication designed to create a divide?

Everything has some validity, but the larger divide is caused by people fabricating the divide to line their own pockets with cash. Al Sharpton is the “king” of this ploy. Find something that smells like race and take a small misunderstanding and blow it up into another march on Selma so your name stays in people’s minds and the cash keeps on flowing. God forbid he should mirror the likes of Martin Luther King, Jr. and really try to solve the greater issue - he’d be broke, and he knows it. Better he keeps his own people down while going through the motions of raising them up.  Politics, racism, gays, you name the issue, someone is making money off of keeping it alive.

Teachers and administration, who is the cause of mass failure in schools today?

Unions.

How do you encourage people to be less jealous and envious?

It is what it is until it isn’t. If you want to be less jealous and envious, work as hard as the other people probably did to afford what they have. Only you are in charge of your life. If you are disappointed in yourself, make yourself better.

Why am I not getting any better?

At what? Asking questions? Maybe some context would help.

What is your current involvement in the community? Do you volunteer for any local agencies, participate in any events that benefit community members, or belong to any clubs or groups?

I volunteered for three years as Lead Chaplain at a regional medical center. When My dad died in 2019, from his latest stroke, I retired from the chaplaincy to take care of my aging mother. My participation, such as it is, is now limited to purchasing food and supplies for our local baptist soup kitchen, and answering questions put to me on this site.

A patron at our local cigar bar was interested in listening to more of what I was saying and asked where I preached. I spread my arms out and looked down at the bar. She wrinkled her brow and seemed concerned that I had no church. I told her if she wants a church, come outside with me and I’ll talk to her in God’s cathedral. I’m not big on organized religion. Too many hidden agendas. Christ did fine without buildings to preach in.

“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them.”

-- Dalai Lama XIV

Does it make the message more or less trustworthy when the message is appended with a threat that any and all who question it will be targeted for ridicule by powerful people who support the message sender, including peers of the would-be critic?

If you have to back what you say with threats, then the message has some serious issues, as do the send and the “powerful people” supporting them. My answer to this particular threat would be for them to bring it.

How has a life lesson changed your perspective?

Yes. My ex-wife taught me to not trust anyone, even those I love the most.

If age doesn’t determine maturity, how is maturity developed and established?

Age does determine “maturity” where age is being discussed. However, there is, also, being more mature than your years would evidence. A mature adult can act like a child, just as a child might be bright enough to act like a mature adult. Maturity is a matter of doing the right thing. Listening, instead of flapping your pie hole, speaking when you have something intelligent to say, and not “acting out” as a spoiled child might. Children, and adults, are capable of this if brought up in the right way. Adults seem to have a harder time of it, however.

Is it basically a guarantee that every single person one knows will backstab them if given the right opportunity?

No. Some actually have a personal, moral code of personal ethics, that they stand by.

Who in your life was misunderstood as being lazy?

That would be me. But, I simply wasn’t being taught what I wanted to learn. I almost didn’t graduate high school, but college psychology had me hooked. I made a B+ average for two years, then I was drafted and joined Air Force Intelligence for 23 years. The lazy guy? He was made Master Sergeant and was a by-name request for NCOIC of Wing Intelligence.

“I'm a misunderstood genius."

"What's misunderstood?"

"Nobody thinks I'm a genius.”

-- Bill Watterson

What is a secret that no one knows about you?

Well, this is silly. If I told you it wouldn’t be a secret, and I would be very popular.

How is understanding built upon the foundation of knowledge?

How can you understand anything if you have knowledge of nothing? To know is to understand. To understand is to move forward. To move forward is to become. To become is the entire point of existence. 

Why do we need the Saviour and Redeemer?

Hope, the product of an undying faith.

Do you dislike being accused of copying anybody?

I do, so I don’t. If I inadvertently copy someone, they should be flattered that I, also, see the trait as desirable. Even if you do so on purpose, it is the epitome of flattery, and accusations are uncalled for. However, it is so much better to use those traits you see as desirable, and use them to form your own “unique” personality. We are, ultimately, who we choose to be. I choose me. 

If you could develop the character, personality, and image of your own imaginary friend that ONLY YOU could see, hear, interact with, and know existed, would you? I know I would. If you would too - what image comes to mind?

Master Yoda.

"The greatest teacher, failure is."

-- Master Yoda

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony: tolerantpastor@gmail.com