Questioning Needs, Responses, Phobias, and Tools

 

“Two times in life you do not waste time arguing with someone: when you are wrong, and when you are right.”

-- Liz Faublas

How do you stop ruminating or having mental arguments and negative internal dialogue?

Ruminating and arguing with yourself is pretty normal for people who think deeply about issues. I’m my own worst critic, and, as such, I am constantly telling myself to do better. Where I see an issue is the “negative” internal dialogue. There is a difference between “you can do better” and “that’s the best you’ll ever be capable of.” Ruminating and internal arguments, however, tend to expand my mind and keep me safe from making stupid mistakes and bad choices and decisions.

Isn't it aggressive to presume what other people need and what they don't need? Especially if you don't ever ask him or her? You never even ask for their opinion?

It isn’t necessarily aggressive, but it is definitely presumptuous. I mean, you never asked them.

Where does a manager need to be organized, and where can he or she improvise?

Time management is always challenging to keep organized. I improvised when using employees, so they could get more training in other areas, not necessarily their primary responsibility. I found this prepared us to back up other departments if they needed help.

What’s the most commonly known joke?

You’re joking, right? 

How do I take revenge on a rude classmate who I barely know anything about? Don’t tell me to move on.

Not telling you to “move on” is a sign you really aren’t interested in sound advice. Revenge will do more harm to you than to them. They could give a shit. Karma, on the other hand, will come down on them in good time, if it doesn’t have to come down on you for this “revenge” thing. I wonder which is worse, being rude, or revenge.

“Revenge, the sweetest morsel to the mouth that ever was cooked in hell.”

-- Walter Scott

Do we take ourselves way too seriously and should be more like Cara Delevigne in our attitudes?

Never be caught taking yourself too seriously. So many other things need attention. Who is Cara?

Why am I freely responsible both to myself and others?

You don’t have to be. You have a free mind that no one can control unless you allow them. But, being a free thinker you are “free” to be responsible where you choose to be. For humanity, we try to be responsible for ourselves, first, and then others. You must take care of yourself first, or how can you responsibly take care of others? But, again, you are free to ignore humanity, if this is your free choice, as you are free to ignore yourself, as well.

What is the funniest response to "I love you"?

“I love me more.” It may not be funny, but I like it. 

What are some people that you can't stand, but are not necessarily "evil"?

“Can’t stand” would leave me with nobody to socialize with. I “have issues” with people who voice their “uninformed” opinions, and then refuse to, at the very least, listen to reason. I usually find this in dealing with the League of the Perpetually Offended. It isn’t that I “can’t stand” them, I simply see no reason to make time for their games.

Are you cynical towards your enemy if only because your outward show of civility is for your own benefit?

No, my outward show of civility is for everyone else’s benefit. I simply don’t trust the peckerwood because they have no ethics.

“Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us.”

-- Stephen Colbert

What is the science behind being judgemental and lonely? Noticed a great deal of gen z has no friends, but also comes off as extremely critical of others. Is there a connection with scientific evidence between being judgemental and lonely?

Science? Would you be friends with someone who was always judging you? I think not. The “science” would probably rest with “human nature.” Nobody likes anyone who is always judging others, yet is lacking, themselves, in so many ways. Introspection would help, but most judgmental people probably don’t feel they need it. Something about thinking you’re so perfect.

What do you think will be the next popular phobia?

Exotic sex practices. What am I saying?

How do I get myself to say things I don't want to say out loud but is my personal truth?

If you don’t want to say them, then why force yourself? You must have a reason for not stating them out loud. Maybe it’s that they’re “personal” truths. For instance, if you like to be spanked by prostitutes, this is a personal truth not everyone needs to know. Find the reason you don’t want to say it out loud, and deal with it. You might just be okay keeping it to yourself.

What does it mean when a stranger says, "You look like my son"?

It means your facial features resemble his son’s making you look like him. Is this another trick question?

What are some ways to have a good attitude?

Make the conscious choice to strive for true happiness always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. In this way, happiness is sustainable because it is a choice you have made to be so always.  Thereafter, to negate happiness, you must make a different choice.  But, any other choice simply sucks.

“Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you.”

-- Walt Whitman

It seems to me exclusively 'relative' qualities cannot exist if there was no observer, is this true?

It seems to me, that if there is “no observer,” there would be no one to judge if any qualities exist or not.

What does "the tools of human behavior control" mean?

It means there are people out there that have ways, the tools, to control human behavior in the weak-minded. This is not that difficult. Mass media, politics, and marketing, have been doing it for ages. If they say it long enough and loud enough, people will believe it, whether it’s true or not.

Why do they say to you, "it's normal, it's not wrong" but at the same time, "keep it secret"? It's not bad, but keep it secret? Something doesn't add up.

Who says this? My first comment to them is exactly what you stated: “It's not bad, but keep it secret? Something doesn't add up.” They have some ‘splaining to do, Lucy.

What would be a reason for someone to keep pushing away the people he/she cares about?

There is something happening in their life that they either don’t want them to know, or they don’t want others to get caught up in. The best thing to do is confront them and get to the truth. They just might need help.

What is a good comeback when people assume things about you?

“Interesting hypothesis. Wrong, but interesting.”

“So, you’ve heard it’s small? Get in bed and we’ll find out.”

“That’s about as interesting as you minding your own business.”

“You’re right, I’m an ax murderer. Go to sleep.”

“You’re right, I’m nothing but a male prostitute. I’m also more than you can afford.”

“She already told me that she doesn't have to be nice, so why do I? Because my mother raised me right? That's why wolves always win. Because the rest of us mind our manners and get devoured for our efforts.”

-- Sheryl J. Anderson

How do you tell someone you are not upset with them?

“I’m not upset with you.” Another one of those trick questions.

Why are some people more susceptible to being drawn in by toxic people than others?

Yes. People who are “more susceptible” to toxic people are weak-minded, and toxic people know this. The League of the Perpetually Offended is full of  “toxic” people. They constantly troll sites like this one for people they can draw in and abuse. It’s bad enough that they succeed in drawing folks in, but then the folks insist on feeding the offended’s need to be more offended by joining in the “conversation” that will never end. The strong-minded simply learn to ignore them.

What is the difference between "don't be offended" and "don't get offended"?

The “offense” has happened, and the “offense” is going to happen.

Can we think about things that we have never experienced before?

Yes, but you have no frame of reference the experience would give you. I think about skydiving, though I have never experienced it. I know that it is dangerous enough that people die doing it. However, the thought of freefalling to my death and having to scream, multiple times, before my eventual demise, prevents me from ever volunteering for the “excitement.”

What is a good alternative to "you know what I'm saying"?

“I’m stating the obvious.”

“Life presents more alternatives than choices.”

-- A.C.H. Smith

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony: tolerantpastor@gmail.com