Questions of Interaction, Humanity, Life, and Rules

“If you're reading this... Congratulations, you're alive. If that's not something to smile about, then I don't know what is.”

-- Chad Sugg

What is the interaction between attachment, attraction, love, intimacy, and commitment?

The order is all screwed up. First, I’m attracted, then I’m in lust so I have a need for intimacy, then, if a fat lady sings, I’m in love, and then, if everything goes well, I commit to a relationship.

Why do some people become wise or overwise after committing mistakes?

Mistakes and failures are the best opportunities for us to learn. If you learn the lesson well you won’t make the same mistake and fail twice. What you learn, in the long run, is considered by many to be wisdom, but only if you share it.

Is spirituality the new understanding of humanity?

Try this and see if it floats your boat:

“Spirituality involves the recognition of a feeling or sense or belief that there is something greater than myself, something more to being human than sensory experience, and that the greater whole of which we are part is cosmic or divine in nature.

Spirituality means knowing that our lives have significance in a context beyond a mundane everyday existence at the level of biological needs that drive selfishness and aggression. It means knowing that we are a significant part of a purposeful unfolding of Life in our universe.

Spirituality involves exploring certain universal themes – love, compassion, altruism, life after death, wisdom, and truth, with the knowledge that some people such as saints or enlightened individuals have achieved and manifested higher levels of development than the ordinary person. Aspiring to manifest the attributes of such inspirational examples often becomes an important part of the journey through life for spiritually inclined people.”

-- Dr. Maya Spencer

What is actually the one reason for failure in life even as a degree or Ph.D. holder?

Lack of true happiness.

How do people come up with solutions to problems?

Trial and error, asking for advice, thinking out of the box, actually reading the instructions, just walking away from the problem or ignoring it, if possible. Personally, I like confronting the problem and working it out. Problems, like a failure, present an opportunity to learn, and learning is never a bad thing.

What could be a good example of the "hope" they meant in this context: "if you truly want to defeat an enemy/opponent, take away his/her hope"?

If an enemy/opponent has no hope of winning, one would expect that they would be truly defeated, mind, body, and soul.

If you truly want to experience what an enemy/opponent is, think that you’ve taken away all hope. When hope is all they have left, when there is nothing else you can take, then, and only then, is when you discover what they are really capable of. Nobody is ever without hope. The next sound you hear may very well be of the last breath you take. Never, ever, underestimate your opponent.

“They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.”

-- Tom Bodett

Would life still exist if everyone was perfect?

What would everyone be if someone became more perfect? They’d be less than perfect. Everyone would be varying shades of excellence, but, thankfully, nothing is perfect. The “perfection” of God even comes into question, after the rumor spread that He created humans. Talk about screwing the pooch. We’re a fricking mess. Perfect? Maybe not. Then again, maybe the rumor is wrong.

If happiness is not something already made, where does it come from?

True happiness is a conscious choice each of us must make for our lives. True happiness is an emotion you feel regardless of your circumstances. Rich or poor, you can still be happy. Like hope or faith, it is something no one can take from you. But, it is also something no one can give to you. Like hope and faith, it is something you must choose to embrace.

What would life be like if we didn’t fail at anything?

Since failure is the best way to learn, I think learning would become a contradiction more than a priority. Not that learning is much of a priority in schools, now. Indoctrination seems to have replaced it.

“Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.”

-- Albert Einstein

What’s the most humiliating thing a principal has ever said to you?

He was holding a cricket bat and informed my friend and me of his intent to use it on our asses. My friend called his Green Beret dad who came down in full dress uniform and informed him otherwise. He also advised that, if he heard of him using it on any other kids, he’d come back and let him know what it felt like.

How do you become successful in life? What should and shouldn’t I do at 14?

Learn how to be truly happy all the time and in all things you do. If you can learn to do this, when you finally reach your goal you will find that it was just a goal, but your success was being happy all through the journey to get there. How great would that be? Well, you need to find out. Now, what you shouldn’t do? I wouldn’t get married until I learn how to be truly happy always and in all things. Kinda funny how life is supposed to revolve around true happiness. It might surprise you to know that most people don’t understand this.

"You are remembered for the rules you break." — Douglas MacArthur. What do you make of this statement?

Rules are meant to be broken, that’s why we have them. I will say, though, that if you’re going to break them make sure everything turns out okay. It really isn’t good to break the rules and have everything turn to shit because of it. They’ll still remember you, however, but not in a good way.

“The first rule on breaking a rule is to know everything about the rule.”

-- Nuno Roque

What should I do to achieve my vision?

Context would be of great help. What is your vision and, more importantly, why do you want to achieve it? If I want to achieve having the sex of a lifetime with an extravagantly beautiful woman, the why is obvious. But the skills required will be different than if my vision was to build a rocket. Probably as difficult to achieve, but different skills.

Why don't many people realize that greed for money will cause more problems than they already have in life?

Making money is not the issue. Greed is the issue, and greed is a problem in itself. Greed corrupts everything, no matter what one is greedy for. Better we should strive to be always happy in our life, regardless of our circumstances.

If the opportunity is presented for us to get ahead in life, take it. Getting ahead isn’t the problem, either, it is how we get ahead and why. Don’t step on others to achieve, and remember those who helped you along your path. Give credit where credit is due. But, always be happy in life. True happiness is real success.

How do you purposely communicate with the departed ones?

Talk. If they care, they’ll be listening.

“He was trying to tell me something."

Derek snorted. "Aren’t they all? Must be a rule in the ghost handbook—if in danger of evaporating, make sure you’re in the middle of a dire pronouncement.”

-- Kelley Armstrong

What lie you told had the biggest impact on someone else's life?

This is not something I would do. Besides, most people have enough truth they’re drowning in, so, why would you find the need to lie?  Lying to impact someone's life in a good way might hurt them down the road when the lie is revealed.  Also, lying is not good for one's moral code of ethical behavior.

What is the difference between arguing to win and arguing to learn?

I rarely argue to win, because nobody likes to lose. You end up sounding like two jackasses braying at each other. I either energetically discuss in order to learn or just stay out of the fray altogether. Ignorance is a horrible thing to willingly support. 

What valuable and important lesson have you learned about ethics?

Your personal ethics define who you are to those around you.

“Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil.”

-- C.S. Lewis

What if your husband doesn't want to get rid of his ex's memories? What do you do?

I’ve sworn off from marriage due to the memories of my ex-wife. The memories were eating me alive with hurt and anger. My new “significant other” saw this and pointed it out to me. She was right, of course. I did some serious introspection.  I forgave my ex, and myself, for the marriage. Then, I accepted the apology I knew I would never get from her. This was an important step, otherwise, you harbor that point and can’t let it go.

What is the rule of success that changed your life?

The first rule of success is happiness. If you want to experience true success, then be truly happy, regardless of your circumstances, regardless of whether you’re rich or poor. If you really want to be successful, all you have to do is strive to be happy always and in all things regardless of your circumstances.  Tada!  You are successful!

Why doesn’t everyone succeed in finding themselves?

Most people don’t think they are lost. Hard to find something that you’re not looking for.

“Somehow, we'll find it. The balance between whom we wish to be and who we need to be. But for now, we simply have to be satisfied with who we are.”

-- Brandon Sanderson

Can one become "born again" without going to church?

Yes. Actually, you’ll probably find that you’re less of a pain in the ass by finding your own way.

My 27-year-old son is hard-working, good-looking, owns his house and truck, is funny, and is one of the nicest people you can meet? How do I find him a companion? He works a lot.

You can’t. A true companion, a lasting relationship, is for him to find. You can, however, help him to make some free time. Church picnics, group outings, country/western bars (just saying), anything and anywhere where people congregate and interact with each other. He will find someone he chooses, and who will choose him.

If you were to pick one celebrity to go to an island with, what would it be?

What, or who? a “what” would be C3PO. A who would be some smart, curvaceous, buxom, female celebrity. Unfortunately, I can’t think of one that isn’t already spoken for.

"Three people marooned on a desert island would soon reinvent politics."

-- Mason Cooley

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com