Answering the Longs & Shorts of It

 

“Believe in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you imagine.”

-- Roy T. Bennett

 

The Long:

What are the challenges you never gave up on?

My 25-year marriage. I never gave up trying to fix the issues, just as she never gave up trying to destroy the marriage. For the entire marriage, I had mutual friends of ours always questioning why we were still together. Being of Sicilian heritage, I’m a two-edged sword. We never give up on family, and we’re vengeful.

I finally had to agree with everyone else, when she informed me that she had never loved me, I was just her escape route from her family. Looking back on that statement, it explained much about her behavior.

I always look upon it as a challenge I never gave up on until it was proclaimed dead.

As a person who has had a lot of severe mental disorders that cannot be treated by doctors who have been fighting intensely and being able to find the healing in alternative info/treatments, can I become an inspiration and a role model for people?

If you have evidence that the alternative information and treatments have some beneficial effect, most probably. If you can’t convince yourself with what you say, how will others believe what you feel? Sell to yourself, first, before others look at you with a critical eye.  Doctor testimony is always good.

How long did you wait in a doctor's or ER exam room before you realized they had forgotten you? What happened?

I went back up to reception, made a point of looking at my watch, and ask the nurse, “Will he be back from golfing soon? It’s been 20 minutes and I have a lunch date.” I was informed he was held up at the hospital. I have an appointment on his hospital day? I "reprimanded" her for not telling me this sooner, rescheduled for a day he would be there, and left. 

Held up at the hospital, my ass. It would serve him right if my lunch date was with his wife.

"In our endeavors to recall to memory something long forgotten, we often find ourselves upon the very verge of remembrance, without being able, in the end, to remember." 

-- Edgar Allan Poe 

What are some education or experience opportunities that people in their 20’s need to acquire in order to be successful in their 30’s?

Study and become knowledgeable in what you want to do. If possible, start as an “intern” in the chosen field of study and learn the ropes while taking classes. The on-the-job knowledge will be invaluable to you and will look great on a resume. It is also desirable to take personnel management and employment law classes if you plan to climb that ladder.

Why are we born to live and die?

Uh… because we live, therefore, we must die?  Because there must be balance?  Because change is the only constant in the universe?  Because, sooner or later, we have to move on into our next existence?

Can people ever be truly happy if they are never thankful for something?

They can’t. If you can’t be truly happy just waking up every morning to the gift of another glorious day in paradise and another chance to excel on this side of the dirt, you’ve already missed the “true happiness” boat. We must strive to be truly happy always. It doesn’t cost us a penny, it just requires us to make a conscious choice. Make your choice a good one!

“The unthankful heart discovers no mercies; but the thankful heart will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings.”

-- Henry Ward Beecher

Why do I always get screwed over and heartbroken? I've tried to win at life and failed each time. There is no more trying left in me, I’m at a dead end.

Stop asking us. We’re the wrong people. You have to ask yourself why you keep going wrong. Failure is simply an opportunity to learn, to critique why we went wrong, and to try again, and again until we attain our goal. You need to be searching in yourself for the “why” of things in life. Maybe your bar is set too high. Slow down, take a breath, and, when you’re ready, approach this from a different perspective.

How do I learn to accept the bitter truth and work harder to survive?

The truth is what it is. What can seem "bitter" to you, may seem not worth concern to another. We choose for ourselves how we view the world. It seems like you’ve chosen to view the world in the light of survival, and are willing to work harder to that end.

The rest of us are doing the same thing. We all want to survive. It isn’t a “bitter truth” as much as it is what it is - survival. On the other hand, what you’ve been doing up to this point, might be seen as a bitter truth, as it hasn’t gotten you where you think you need to be. It took me a while to figure out that what I wanted was to be truly happy, and no amount of money or titles was going to make that happen. I had to choose to be happy always, regardless of my circumstances. This is true happiness.

The simple fact that I awake each morning, I see as another chance to excel in a life my God has seen fit to gift to me, once again. I try hard not to disappoint.

Do you believe the children are our future? And if so, should we teach them well and let them lead the way?

They are our future, and we, the parents, should be teaching them well so they are prepared to lead the way. We have fallen down on that job. We relinquished our responsibilities to school systems more interested in governmental domination and indoctrinating our children so they will not be surprised when they’re asked to don the jackboots, uniforms, and armbands, the “new world order” demands as they dash any hopes of pursuing of freedom that doesn’t meet the new government’s approval. How does this "future" sound to you?

"The Future belongs to those who Invest in Today and have a Hope for Tomorrow."

-- David Kreger

What does *FAILURE* really mean to you? For me, I see failure as an opportunity to gain better insight into whatever am doing. It helps me learn that I am doing something wrong and I have to make it right to get closer to my goals.

Failure is nothing more than an opportunity to learn, to critique why you failed, and to try again. and again, until you get it right so you can move on. It allows you to learn how to mitigate making the same choices and decisions in order to prevent the same failure next time.

If a perfect clone of you were created, right down to the tiniest cellular detail, would it be you or would it somehow still be missing something, either good or bad?

He would be missing my life experiences, my memories. Without my experiences and memories, he would have to make his own, which would make him his own person. He would, in essence, be an identical twin, but not me.

If “the more you know, the more you know how much you don’t know”, then why are college students and doctorate college professors (Ph.D.) so arrogant, naive, closed-minded, and proud about what they know?

Ego puts a damper on any humility they would be more appropriate to evidence. Let’s try not to think less of them, shall we? I offer this as a possible tombstone:  

“The only thing I know is that I know nothing, and I am not quite sure that I know that.” 

-- Socrates

I’m 14 and my parents gave me too much freedom. I am starting to lose self-control, motivation, and I can’t get myself to exercise or sleep early. What do I do?

Either fall apart or, the better choice, take control. You recognize the problem and why it exists, yet you seem incapable of making the simple choice to change direction. People can give you lots of advice, but if you seem incapable of listening to yourself, what good will our advice be to you?

Motivate yourself to regain self-control. Motivate yourself to exercise on a schedule. Motivate yourself to get a good eight hours of sleep. Motivate yourself to be the parent that curtails too much freedom. What will you do when you have your own child?

Was the Count of Monte Christo a real free spirit? He can stand his ground and would go very far for it. Would the count be an ideal role model?

The Count is a fictional character, so he wasn’t a real anything. An “ideal” role model should be a real role model, not a fictional character. If you admire the Count, find someone real who embodies all of his characteristics. There, in reality, goes your “role model.”

Why is it that 90% of successful people always say that it wouldn't be possible without the love and support of their parents? So why is then wrong to thank your parents for being a failure if you did indeed have terrible parents?

The “90%” made the choice to accept “the love and support of their parents.” In the same way, some people make the choice to accept the lack of what terrible parents do or don't do for them. Life is all about making conscious choices for your life. When you come of age, if not before, you have the right, and the choice, to rise above what others think you should be and make better choices for your life. Those who choose not to, have to accept the lives they have chosen, or they can change their choice.

“Live the Life of Your Dreams: Be brave enough to live the life of your dreams according to your vision and purpose instead of the expectations and opinions of others.”

-- Roy T. Bennett

The Short:

Can you really form an accurate opinion and pass judgment on someone based on only first impressions and meeting them once?

No.

Is there a video that speaks your mind perfectly? Are you willing to share it?

Any video of Leo Buscaglia speaking to an audience.

What do you do if you have a 40-year-old daughter who still lives at home, doesn't work, and has depression so bad she can't even handle a little stress? Her therapist thinks she will never recover and I don't want to take care of her forever.

I hate to say this, but, welcome to parental responsibility.

Have you ever made a decision that goes against all considerations and logical thinking?

Marriage.

Should I impregnate a female the first chance I get to fulfill my biological imperative?

No, God forbid.  Many of us really wish you wouldn’t do that.

How do I get satisfaction in life with ordinary looks?

Have an extraordinary personality, like me.

Do you control the soul of a creamy force?

Yes! No. Wait. What “creamy force” are we discussing?

What are the behavioral patterns of highly successful people in their respective careers?

Don’t we need a list of "their respective careers"?

Does honesty make you lose the most important people in your life?

No.

Are the "worst" people considered more selfish than the average person?

What would be their “incentive” to be selfless?

Does a high score mean everything in one's life?

What is a “high score” without true happiness?  

Are you puzzled by homicides of intimate partners?

If more than one had been murdered, I’d be advising the police.

What's one question you would ask your future self if you were with them for 3 hours?

It would take that long to convince the future me who I am.

I like someone, but he ignores me. What should I do now?

Have you tried telling him?

What is some advice when sleeping with a celebrity?

Don’t. It rarely ends well.

 Who said, “youth is wasted on the young”?

Attributed to George Bernard Shaw, but… I found this:

"If only youth had the knowledge; if old age had the strength."

-- French Proverb

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com