Most Viewed Answers from the Semi-Ancient "Pie Hole" Philosopher

 

"It is what it is until it isn't,

and then it is what it is again."

-- Tony Villari

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Note to my readers:  As we approach the end of 2021, I promised to share the most-read answers to questions I've been requested to answer.  I've included the answers that had between 1000 and 46,000 views and listed them by the most views first.  I stopped at 1,000 or I'd be doing "cut and paste" for quite awhile.  I don't see any rhyme or reason that my answers garner the viewership they did, but, perhaps you will see something I missed.  As of this post, 544,264 people have viewed my answers since August of 2019.  I hope you enjoy the read and, please, let me know what you think.

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46,100  

What are the most indecent moments you have ever experienced in front of a doctor?

She was an attractive blonde captain in the Air Force giving me my periodic physical. She had a firm handhold on my package when she told me to turn my head and cough. I was counting backward from 100, trying not to be aroused. What came out was a weak excuse for a cough. She asked me what the problem was, and I looked at her, smiled weakly, and said, “Really?” She smiled and told me to get dressed.

29,400

What is the most embarrassing incident while you were on a vacation to a different country?

Three military guys, on leave in Frankfurt, walk into a bar for some beers. The captain has his arm taken by one good-looking woman, I get hauled off in the opposite direction by another, and the very young army private is taken by a third. All we wanted were beers. The captain signaled me that the girl’s drinks were expensive to make up for our cheaper beers. $20 each and one beer later, we grabbed the private and made our retreat. He asked us what was wrong and I told him he could now safely say he got screwed in Frankfurt.

11,400

What was a showdown at work you will never forget?

The vice-president of the company told my crew to do something I disagreed with him on, and then threw me under the bus to the president when she didn’t like it. I stood there and let him do it, but I chewed his ass when we got back to his office. He never did that again. Come to find out, later, the president of the company had pretty much figured out who really screwed up, because it wasn’t like me to do anything that idiotic. She commended my loyalty to the VP, and to the company.

4,500

What is your comment on this statement, “What I believe must be true if I feel very strongly about it.”?

What I believe is a matter of faith, and faith is a belief in something for which there is little or no proof. Is it true? I don’t know, but I believe it to be so. Atheists would have me prove the existence of my God and, yet, how do I prove something for which there is no proof? My faith tells me, God exists. But, faith is something that seems to escape the comprehension of certain people. Because I have faith, I have no need for proof. If I have no need for proof, the onus is, then, on the atheist to prove God does not exist. So, as a person of faith, what I believe must be true, not because I feel strongly about it, but because I have undying faith in it. If I’m right, I have "life ever after" in my future. If I’m wrong? Well, let’s hope I’m not. But, either way, the atheist has nothing to look forward to. It is what they believe. So be it.

3,300

Between the professional and personal qualities of a teacher, which ones are perceived to be more important? Is there really such a thing as more important than the other?

I’d give real money just to have teachers teach reality, not their personal take on it. Teach real history, not the winner’s version of it. Teach why history, reading, writing, arithmetic, and happiness, are important to learn. Students would be well served to stop tearing down history and start learning the lessons of it before they doom themselves to a future based on the repetition of mistakes made in the past.

3,200

How can you relate your life to Rizal when he was a student in UST?

So, because he went to the University of Santo Tomas, this causes difficulty in relating to him? I would find it more difficult to relate my life to his because of his accomplishments. And, he accomplished what he did in the latter half of the 1800s. Talk about a rolling stone gathering no moss:

“He was an ophthalmologist, sculptor, painter, educator, farmer, historian, playwright, and journalist. Besides poetry and creative writing, he dabbled, with varying degrees of expertise, in architecture, cartography, economics, ethnology, anthropology, sociology, dramatics, martial arts, fencing, and pistol shooting. He was also a Freemason, joining Acacia Lodge No. 9 during his time in Spain and becoming a Master Mason in 1884.” — Wikipedia

Assuming, of course, you’re discussing José Protasio Rizal Mercado y Alonso Realonda. The tragedy was his dying by firing squad as an accused revolutionary, but, being a revolutionary seemed to be what he was all about, at least where education was concerned.

3,100

To what extent does it reflect your real self?

Well, I’m not sure what “it” is, but that notwithstanding, nothing reflects my real self, except me. We make a choice to show who we really are or to hide behind some mask, some facade that shows what we would rather show people. It is much better if we simply fix what we feel is wrong and show people who we really are. If we’re afraid of ourselves, what does that tell us? Either embrace who you are or change. The real you is who people want to deal with, so let’s hope it is a light in the darkness. 

3.100

What is availability? Have you ever made yourself available to others?

Yes. I let them know my schedule and will make myself available for them, as I can. No one should assume your availability, that would be rude. It would also be selfish to not be available for those already on your schedule. Making yourself available means just that, you make yourself available. No, if you were to say “I’m always available for you” you’re putting yourself at their every beck and call. Even as a selfless person, this is not a really smart thing to do. One must always leave a bit of wiggle room for the unexpected. 

2,400

How do people with IQs below 100 behave?

They probably behave like everyone else. The real determining factor would be what their SQ is. How intelligent you are, has no bearing on how smart you might be. I’ve met a lot of intelligent people who can’t walk and chew gum at the same time. I met a doctor who introduced himself as Doctor (X). I said I was pleased to meet him, I’m Master Sergeant Villari. He looked at me, for a second, and then began to laugh. He said his name was John, I told him mine was Tony.

Titles and IQ are no substitute for being human and, at times, we tend to forget this, What we are, we earned for ourselves, and it shouldn’t be used as a badge demanding respect, as that has to be earned, title or not, high IQ or not. In the military I earned respect, but the good doctor didn’t know me… yet. Whatever you are, never forget you’re just human, like the rest of us.

2,300

Why do I always fantasize that bad things happen to me?

By definition, if you “always fantasize that bad things happen” to you, you “indulge in daydreaming about something desired.” If this is correct, then perhaps you just need a good hard spanking every now and then. It is generally thought that what we want will come to fruition, will come to be. If this isn’t your wish, then, perhaps, you should pay more attention to happy things and work toward being happy always.

2,300 

What is something you should never pass up when shopping in a thrift store?

Original art that has great value. I picked up a “poster” in a plastic poster frame and paid $10 for it. I noticed it wasn’t a poster at all, just in a poster frame. It was an original “artist proof” print. I took it home and looked it up online to find it was worth $1,200. One ignorant person’s crap, or mistake, can actually be another person’s treasure. 

1,900

What's a rule your employer implemented that backfired terribly?

Casual dress. Professionalism dropped. Women were wearing, well, for all intents and purposes, pajama bottoms to work. And the definition of “clean and neat” had to be adjusted several times for everyone. The only people who seemed to be unphased by all the drama were the military vets who just kept coming to work looking appropriately ready for work.

1,800

When did you decide that you were enough and didn't need to change?

Just about the age of 50. My divorce had been final for a couple of years, and I finally came to grips with the fact that I had a hand in the failure by trying to keep it together, but the ultimate failure had been her plan for 25 years if just to get her hands on my military retirement. She just had to find an “out.” She finally found him. I was dating people we both knew, and they were very confused about why she did it. I decided I was enough and didn’t need to change anything, according to my dates, but marriage. I swore off of it and never looked back.

1,700

What was the most embarrassed you’ve been after having had unexpected company?

So, let me get this straight, Someone doesn’t have the courtesy to tell me they're coming over, and I'm supposed to be embarrassed by something they might have seen? “Excuse the mess. What’s up?” “I would have put on clothes but, one, I had no idea you coming over and, two, I didn’t even know your mom was in town. Stop staring, ma’am.” Embarrassment should be on the plate of the “unexpected” company, and they can avoid it by the courtesy of a warning call.

1,700

Why do my friends hate me?

I don’t know why they don’t like you, I don’t know you. But, I think your definition needs some work. Friend: “A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.”

So, right off the bat, these are not your friends! There is no “mutual affection” required for friendship. I recommend you dump them and find some real “friends.”

1,600 

Why do people relate to poor health, lack of education, too old, too young, bad luck, and so on as excuses for failure instead of accepting their mistake?

Ego prohibits most of us from being honest. Everything you listed has to do with the choices and decisions we make for our own lives.

To try and shift blame to others is so transparent as to be laughable. Our life is our life, and no one controls it but us. If we let someone else make decisions for us, this, too, is our decision, our choice, to let them run our lives. How stupid can we be?

Any failure is simply another opportunity for us to learn why we went wrong and to correct it, if possible, or mitigate it ever happening again. Our failure is something we should own and embrace. No one is perfect, and we all make mistakes.

1,600

At what point should we start putting regulations on artificial intelligence?

The “Three Laws of Robotics,” known as Asimov's Laws, should be in place already for Artificial Intelligence, as it has been around since Asimov's short story "Runaround" in 1942:

First Law: A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

Second Law: A robot must obey the orders given to it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

Third Law: A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

1,600

What can I do to stop my coworker from dumping work on me? It seems they pass their work on to me. I have told my supervisor in the past but nothing has happened.

You are being paid to do your work. Don’t accept their work. Tell your supervisor you’re doing your work and if the other worker can’t do theirs this is a problem the supervisor needs to address because you’re not doing it. There seems to be enough work that they can’t really afford to fire you, so use that fact to your benefit. It sounds like the supervisor doesn’t want anyone higher up to know he/she can’t handle the position. if you get fired, I’d let the owner know what’s going on.

1,600

What is your thought and/or ideas with the phrase Unpacking the Self?

Unpack all of the baggage you carry around and lay it out so you can determine what to take to Goodwill or trash altogether. What’s left is in need of some introspection before putting up on a shelf and showing your “self” off.

1,600

What do you mean by the saying "No one is poor that he can't give, and no one is so rich that He can't receive?"

I mean nothing by it because I never said it. But we must put it in the original quote to better understand it.

“Nobody is so poor that he has nothing to give, and nobody is so rich that he has nothing to receive.” — Pope John Paul II

Even the poorest of us have something of ourselves to give to others. Even the richest among us are still able to receive what others might wish to give. An example? Christ was poor, but even the wealthy were able to listen if they chose to.  

1,500

Have there ever been any instances where a Recruit has enlisted in one branch of the military (e.g. Air Force) and has somehow been accidentally shipped to another branch's boot camp (e.g. Navy), and has served their entire contract in that branch?

Your answer deals with that “contract” you mentioned. The other branches won’t have his Air Force contract, so right away something will ring a bell. The military would really have to totally screw the pooch even send them to the wrong boot camp. I’ve never heard of it happening and I was in for 23 years.  

1,500 

What material thing do you possess and has personal meaning to you? Why do you find that particular object personally relevant or meaningful?

A medallion of Mary of Nazareth. I bought it as a gift to myself for my second retirement working 17 years for a private firm after my 22 plus years with military intelligence. I figured after almost 30 years I deserved something special for myself. 

1,400

How did philosophy help us address our situation?

Philosophy has given many much to think about. Unfortunately, few utilize anything they learn. Our circumstances look like the feed from a heart monitor, ups and downs. I keep waiting for the flatline and the inevitable shock back into reality.  

1,400

Who was/is the best problem solver the world has ever known?

Politically, I think this would be Ronald Reagan. He did much good throughout the world, culminating in the fall of the Berlin Wall and the Soviet Union.

“The capstone of the Reagan-Gorbachev relationship, however, occurred in June 1988 when Reagan visited the Soviet Union. The symbolism of the trip was powerful and undeniable. Reagan, the most outspoken anti-Communist elected to the American presidency, met Soviet citizens in Red Square and spoke to students at Gorbachev's alma mater. When a reporter reminded him of his 1983 description of the Soviet Union as an "evil empire," Reagan replied, "I was talking about another time, another era."By the time Reagan's presidency concluded, the Cold War was not formally over, but its end was in sight. Many people contributed to this achievement, including Secretary of State Shultz and Gorbachev's able foreign minister, Eduard Shevardnadze, but Reagan and Gorbachev deserve the principal credit. In his book, Reagan and Gorbachev: How The Cold War Ended, career diplomat Jack F. Matlock, himself a key player in the U.S-Soviet negotiations, wrote that Reagan and Gorbachev were willing to depart from the position papers that had been written for them and make up their own minds on critical issues. "Both were willing to take political risks, and both were skilled in judging the degree of risk in their respective, very different societies," Matlock wrote. "They didn't always get things right, but on the most critical issues, they finally did."

-- Ronald Reagan: Foreign Affairs | Miller Center

1,400

From my own experiences, I have no doubt that the future is already written, but can we still change the future, or every possible reality is already written that doesn't need to be changed?

The future is already written for those who make choices to ensure the future unfolds a particular way. In truth, the future has not happened and may not. The choices and decisions we make, or accept, at this moment will determine how the next moment unfolds. If your future constantly sucks, make better choices in the present to make the next moment better. It’s really that simple.

1,400

What should I say while breaking up?

Bye? You should really give some good, cogent reasons for your decision. People like to know the why, who, what, and how of things. With this information, they will be able to determine why you’re doing it, if it concerns someone else, what they did wrong, and how they will view you moving on. It is always better to part on good terms, if possible.

1,400

Based on Williams, Kay, and Kohlberg’s stages of moral development point, in which stage are you?

Moral development? No. No, no, no… this is a constant battle. Do as I say, not as I do. Oh, my goodness. Developing morality requires moral restraint. There is a room reserved for me at the Purgatory Inn.

Hypocrisy notwithstanding, and having stated the obvious, I’m probably at Stage 6.

1,400

How does it feel to have someone inside of you?

Are you asking about a baby… or someone’s appendage? Not that I have an answer, either way. Just curious, and looking for clarity.

1,400 

From my own experiences, I have no doubt that the future is already written, but can we still change the future, or every possible reality is already written that doesn't need to be changed?

The future is already written for those who make choices to ensure the future unfolds a particular way. In truth, the future has not happened and may not. The choices and decisions we make, or accept, at this moment will determine how the next moment unfolds. If your future constantly sucks, make better choices in the present to make the next moment better. It’s really that simple.

1,400 

How am I of value to myself, to others, and to what I believe in?

You are alive. This gives value to yourself. What you do with your life, selflessly for others, is evidence of your value to them. What you do is evidence of who you are, and who you are is, essentially, what you believe in. In this context, taken in total, what you believe in has value. 

1,300

Social help! How do I politely tell people to get out of my house? I've had two homeless friends living with me for a month and one for two months. They are very "social" people so if I want to do something alone they come to sit next to me?

As a 67-year-old curmudgeon, I’m just spitballing here, but, if you really want them to “get out” of your house, you’re going to have to be firm, not polite. I’d start with saying, “GET OUT!” If that doesn’t work, then help them to understand by changing the locks and leaving their stuff outside. Then, I’d start asking myself the easy questions. These are my friends? What am I basing my friendship on? What are they basing their friendship with me on? And, here would be my favorite: Why do I have a place to live and they don’t? Hmmm… “Social” people, until everyone else’s money runs out.

1,200

What is the saddest case of homelessness that you've ever come across?

I assisted a breakfast feed in a parking lot once a week. There was a young family living in their car. He was a carpenter looking for work in a town with plenty of ongoing construction. The problem was a requirement to have a physical address, not a P.O. box. I hate it when people with children are lazy and use other people because they hate to work. The children grow up thinking this is right. I really hate it when someone wants to work and can’t because of stupid rules, especially when they have children suffering because of it. I think the plus is these children growing up knowing their parents really tried hard to do the right thing. This is a lesson the privileged don’t have to learn, but should.

1,200

Is there a place and a time you would love to have lived in the past, and why?

Knowing what I know now, nope. The past had poor personal hygiene, bad sewers (if any), no toilet paper, food quality was questionable, yadda, yadda, yadda. Ever been around someone who constantly smelled like an ass or armpit? Ever had the desire to live on jerky, hardtack, and water that might give you dysentery? You had an opportunity to die at any moment for any number of sad reasons besides accidents. Is it any wonder the life span was so short for the majority? Nope. I’m fine right here.

1,200

I lied to my parents about my grades and they grounded me for 3 months. I've been grounded for about a month and it ends on June 4th. Was this reasonable on my parent's part?

As a grandparent, yes, it was. You need to learn that the only one you hurt here is you. Failure is the best way we learn, but if you don’t learn what’s the point? Parents want what is best for their children and sometimes they can get frustrated, especially when the child lies or cheats. You lied to them and you cheated yourself. Honesty is much better, and asking for their help might be looked upon as growing up.

1,200

Is the soul prepared to give up things that it has made up in itself?

The soul has no possessions, so the only “things” it could give up would be non-material emotions, like guilt. Everything becomes known when we move on. Our sins, our secrets, our guilt, all become known as truth. We, for all intents and purposes, will find ourselves incapable of lying or concealing. It isn’t that we are being judged as much as it is that we are judging ourselves. We are laying bare our soul for all to see. So what about hauntings?

Some souls don’t move on. Either they don’t know they are supposed to, they’re being held here by evil, or they are evil and refuse to have their soul run up the flagpole for all to see. The latter condemn themselves to hell on earth and, because of their fear of confronting what they’ve done in life, are at the mercy of even stronger evil.

My point is, after a soul makes the choice to move on to what comes next, I don’t think it has a choice to “give up” things, it will just happen.

1,100

How do I learn and gain from science without falling prey to dogmatism?

Question everything. There is no such thing as a stupid question, just stupid answers. Having said that, I have seen some questionable questions, poorly asked or poorly understood. Where science is concerned, it is what it is… until it isn’t. Dogma? I don’t think so. Most of what we know is “incontrovertibly true” as of this moment. But, in the next moment…

1,100

What is the most pleasurable experience of your life?

Two years in Adana, Turkey. I loved the food and the people. The second most pleasurable might be the two years I spent in Manzanillo, Mexico. I ate tacos and drank beer and tequila the entire time. Again, I loved the food and the people. I left the states weighing 208 lbs and came back weighing 168 and cutting my blood pressure meds in half. What’s not to love?

1,100

What is the most "F-ck this, I'm out" moment of your relationship?

This would be when my ex-wife had me arrested by telling the police I threatened to kill her, which I never did. Being arrested, having an “ankle bracelet” monitor, then being on probation, all for something you never did, has a way of finally pounding home that having any kind of relationship, even for the good of the children, is going to be an impossibility. This was the “F-ck this I’m out” moment of my non-existent relationship with a woman I never really knew.

1,100

What are the healthy boundaries for a perfectionist?

Before you go looking for boundaries, understand there is no such thing as perfection. One has to be concerned, then, that setting boundaries in the search for something that does not exist would in any way be healthy, or not for that matter. Better for you to just keep being as good as you can be, stretching those boundaries, and being happy always in your chosen task.

1,100 

Is life boring without having children?

The question answers itself.  Why is life sober without bourbon, is a better question?  

Kids are energizer bunnies. They run and run and run until they either sleep or you turn on the cartoons. First God gave the man a woman. Realizing what a mistake that was, and how she gave man constant grief, He gave women children. Hah! 

God gave children to us so we had something to do when we weren’t working at anything else. Sometimes I wonder if God really loves us or if He's just screwing with us.

1,100

What is the best example of integrity that you have ever seen in your life?

I was waiting to give an intelligence briefing to the Wing Commander, a Brigadier General, when a Captian came out of his office and told the administration clerk to get hold of the building custodian and tell him to get down here and fix the furnace in the basement.

It was Spokane, Washington in the middle of winter. It was freezing. The General came out of his office and told the Captian that, when the civilian custodian arrived, he was to speak to him in a friendly manner, without attitude, to ensure the civilian repaired the unit in short order. The Captain acknowledged the General and went to make the phone call.

The General invited me into his office for the briefing and asked me what I thought. I suggested the Captain had not been in as long as the General and I had. He had not been presented the opportunity to enjoy the fullness of winter on a northern-tier flight line and to appreciate the coffee and warmth afforded to him by our civilian counterparts. The General laughed and was happy to hear I agreed with his handling of the situation. The Captain was transferred to the flying squadron, on the flight line, several months later.

I thought the General showed integrity, respect, and leadership. To someone at the lower end of the ladder, his actions were a reminder to me that even custodians deserve respect for what they bring to the table. They dump the trash, clean up behind us and keep the fifty-year-old furnaces running, and if not them, then who? Everyone deserves respect and appreciation. 

1,000

How do you decide between two people you're in love with?

It isn’t complicated. Your heart will tell you which path to follow. It isn’t so much that you’ve chosen them, as much as it is they have chosen you. When two hearts meet… it is magic. You will know, and there will be little question in your mind. 

1,000

With all the privilege I have, can I morally justify a life containing life and fun?

Did somebody work hard to earn that "privilege" you have? Don’t let people who refuse to work hard, for anything, take what you and yours have worked hard for away from you. I wouldn’t feel guilty about your privilege. The United States is a country where everyone has the same right to privilege, if we want to work for it. If some say they don’t have the same rights, this explains much of why they don’t.

Poor minorities manage to leave poverty behind, all the time. How? Because they want to, and they stop listening to those who say they can’t. Liberal educators teach ignorance in this country like it's something to be proud of. Do you really think if they had what you have they’d willingly give it up? Not a chance. Their only problem is that you have it and they don’t. You have nothing to morally justify, so go be happy always.

If you actually feel you have too much privilege, then give some of it to charity, or volunteer to help those looking to escape their circumstances, and then go out and be happy always.

1,000

Do you agree with this statement: "He that would govern others first should be the master of himself"?

Oh my, yes! If you can’t master yourself, how do you expect to govern others? One must lead by ethical example. One must find in themselves the rock that others can lean on. Your obvious sense of ethics defines who you are. I have never asked someone to do what I haven’t done or am not willing to do. If you have a weakness, let it be your humility to let those around you know that you, like all of them, have a weakness. Be human, not superhuman. Many of the best leaders have been those who never sought to lead, they were chosen to, because of the person they were seen to be. Be the master of yourself before you deign to govern others. 

1,000 

What can you say about this “People have a misconception that projects for scientific discoveries are “acts of burning taxes” but people don’t get it… if they continue thinking this way that’s the beginning of the end of their culture.”- Dr. Tyson?

Two things have constantly contributed to the betterment of mankind, projects for scientific discovery, and as odd as it may seem, war. War has contributed as much to science and medicine as any project paid for with taxes. People don’t want to understand this, because it is, to them, immoral. Yet, lives saved with surgery procedures learned on the battlefield cannot be argued.

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com