Questioning Success (again, and again...)

 

“To look at life without words is not to lose the ability to form words- to think, remember, and plan. To be silent is not to lose your tongue. On the contrary, it is only through silence that one can discover something new to talk about. One who talked incessantly, without stopping to look and listen, would repeat himself ad nauseam. 

It is the same with thinking, which is really silent talking. It is not, by itself, open to the discovery of anything new, for its only novelties are simply arrangements of old words and ideas.”

-- Alan W. Watts

Which mantra is good to become successful quickly?

“I am enough.”

An accounting job is making me sick. My boss makes me miserable and my anxiety is through the roof. I always thought I wanted this but now I have no clue what I want to do in life. What advice can you give me?

Find a job you really enjoy doing and that makes you happy. Misery is a poor measure of job satisfaction.

In the real world, what drives ingenuity? Talent or burning passion?

Burning passion. I can be a talented musician, yet not be able to write a song. I’ve known many talented people who have no imagination.

“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”

-- Douglas Adams

Is there an easy road to success in life?

Monetarily? No. If there were, everyone would be successful. Achieving a goal? Not really. Achieving anything worthwhile takes hard work and perseverance. However, these are not real successes. True happiness is success… and finding it is easier than most people realize.

First, you need to realize that any failure is just an opportunity to learn. In this way, failure is no reason for misery. Second, having realized this truth, you can now strive to be happy always and in all things, even failures. When you realize true happiness is the only gauge for success, you will value it above all else. Money and goals will now be within reach, but, if they still elude you, you’ll still have true happiness. It is a choice nobody can take from you.

Be happy always, the alternative simply sucks!

How does one go on with his life when he fails at everything?

Does one wake up every morning? Count that as a success. If one breathes, eats, loves, has friends, etc., then one has succeeded, yet again, on many levels. Failure is so misunderstood. We view it as a negative thing when, in reality, it presents us with many opportunities to learn why we went wrong if we have the temerity to honestly critique ourselves and find out.

The alternative to this choice is to fail at failing. Not to succeed, but to not even try to learn what one is supposed to. Not to wake up the next morning to thank God for another gift of a glorious day in paradise and another chance to excel in life. One risks dying to be born again, to the same mother, into the same life, to fail again, and again, and again until one has an “Aha!” moment and realizes there is a different path, a different, better choice.

Make a better choice. Strive to be happy always and in everything, even in the face of adversity… and failure.

What makes you so determined to be successful no matter what?

Because I’ve only failed once in my life, and it almost ended me. That bit of history taught me true success - how to be happy always. It taught me how to accept whatever comes and work through it, to pick my battles, and learn from my losses. It taught me that a simple smile can be disarming, and reminded me that, if the smile fails, use a plastic butter knife. It taught me that change is, truly, the only constant in the universe and that everything is what it is until it isn’t, and then it is what it is again.

“The cost of success is that I must be willing to fail far more times than I succeed, which is why so few of us are successful.”

-- Craig D. Lounsbrough

What is the saddest truth about this life?

Ignorance.

Is watching the clock for 8 hours of your workday the countdown to your eventual demise?

Yes. To me, it is a sign that you don’t enjoy your job, you have better things to do. I never had this problem as I always enjoyed my jobs. I would check the clock to make sure everyone was out the door on time, and then it was me, alone, getting stuff done.

After a while, several others understood that in the military there is no time clock. They would stay late to finish tasks. I would mentor them not to rush, but to work through the task diligently. We always finished on time, and always received excellent ratings. Enjoy what you do, or don’t do it.

Why is it that to get what you want, you have to go through shit?

That only applied to my 25-year marriage to a woman who never loved me. After we divorced and she finally took everything, I was fine.

“It's hard to fight when the fight ain't fair.”

-- Taylor Swift

What is that one piece of advice that changed your life forever?

Forgiveness. Even though it’s much easier to forgive than to forget, I learned to accept the apology, I knew I was never going to get, from the only person I ever hated in my life. I didn’t like hate very much, so I think I’ll not do it again.

Why is it that no matter what I do or where I go, I never seem to be happy?

Real happiness is a choice. Choose better.

What habits of yours are you proud of and want others to follow?

Forgiveness and tolerance. Patience, not so much.

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”

-- Oscar Wilde

What are the practical reasons for failure in life and finances?

Ignorance. A failure to understand the basics, or to ignore them completely. This may be due to the lack of good parenting or mentoring.

What are some of the most important feelings in life?

Love, empathy, sympathy, and forgiveness. Oh, and lust. Well, just because.

Am I a bad person for telling my parents that someone in my sister's class is ugly?

Not the nicest thing to say about someone, no matter who you tell. Are they? Really? Or, could they be more beautiful on the inside? You know, in the deep end of the pool.

“You may not have noticed, but I'm not what you'd call conventionally beautiful. In fact, you might say that I'm the opposite of that. Say, you know - to vocalize, sometimes ad nauseam? Do you think that there's any minute in any day when I'm not aware of how big I am? Do you think there's a single minute that goes by when I'm not thinking about how other people see me? Even though I have no control whatsoever over that? Don't get me wrong - I love my body. But I'm not so much of an idiot to think that everybody else loves it. What really gets to me- what really bothers me - is that it's all people see.”

-- David Levithan

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com