Questioning Failures, Life, and the Journey

 

“I can't give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time.”

-- Herbert Bayard Swope

 

What was the turning point that made you decide to make the most of your life, rather than letting life just happen to you?

I was drafted for the Vietnam conflict. When the Air Force offered me Intelligence as a career field, I found I excelled in the constant “newness” of it, the constant challenge of it.

Life happens whether I want it to or not, so I wake up every morning and thank God for the gift of another day in paradise and another chance to excel in it. Life is what we make of what is presented. We should always make the most of it.

Does the “I don’t know what to do with my life,” set yourself a 30-day challenge" work?

I suppose this has no bearing on me, so I have no answer. I’ve always known what to do with my life, even if searching for a job. It was my reason for volunteering to be a chaplain. Every day we are on this side of the dirt is another chance for us to excel at even the most menial task, or at selfless giving of ourselves to others.

What is the meaning of the following quote, "When I chased after money, I never had enough. When I got my life on purpose and focused on giving of myself and everything that arrived into my life, then I was prosperous."?

I offer up the following quote:

“He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have.” ― Socrates

There is no substitute for selflessness. When you stop the “chase” and take a moment to think about what you’re doing, your path can clarify. While you are giving of yourself, many things come into focus. You will discover true happiness. You will find yourself not as much chasing money as understanding how to make use of the money you will ethically earn. But, most importantly, with the true happiness you discover, you will have already found true prosperity.

“Pain teaches you more than pleasure. Failure teaches you more than success. Poverty teaches you more than prosperity. Adversity teaches you more than comfort.”

-- Matshona Dhliwayo

Who said the following quote, "Money will come when you are doing the right thing"? What did they mean?

Mike Phillips. I would hope he meant that knowledge, hard work, perseverance, and ethical behavior, will mitigate failing to have the money come.

Is life truly a journey into nothingness?

If you don’t believe in a life after death, then, yes. I prefer to think of life as a journey of discovery, where we learn everything we can to make more of our next life. I prefer to think we’re preparing for an “upgrade” more than the “built-in obsolescence” which offers us nothing, no future.

How does one create a positive vision of their future in the midst of chronic adversity?

Beat down the “chronic adversity” and the vision of your future will clarify itself. Deal with the present, and the future will unfold before you.  However, the author George Orwell had this to say:

"If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever."

-- George Orwell

What if everything you’re going through is preparing you for what you asked for?

Everything we go through prepares us… for something. That “something” may be positive or negative, so, not necessarily what we want. What we go through, for the most part, is a consequence of the choices and decisions we make.

If what we go through is negative, the lesson is to learn where we went wrong, what questionable choices and decisions we made, and to try again and mentor others who might encounter the same issues. Failure is nothing more than an opportunity to excel. The only way we truly fail is to not learn the lesson we’re being taught and keep on trying to excel. 

How have you dealt with failure and bounced back from it?

Yes! A failed 25-year marriage. I bounced back from it, but have sworn off marriage. I’ve lived in “sin” for almost 20 years, and have been very happy about the experiences.

How do you deal with discouragement anytime you do something and fail?

I go back and critique why I failed. What did I not do right? When I find it, I try again. If I don’t find a reason, I try again, anyway, to see if the failure was simply a fluke. If I fail again, I go back and keep critiquing the failure until I succeed. Life is nothing more than a classroom with lessons to be learned. You are not a true failure until you quit. Until then, you are still working on the issue.

“Never say that you can't do something, or that something seems impossible, or that something can't be done, no matter how discouraging or harrowing it may be; human beings are limited only by what we allow ourselves to be limited by: our own minds. We are each the masters of our own reality; when we become self-aware to this: absolutely anything in the world is possible.

Master yourself, and become king of the world around you. Let no odds, chastisement, exile, doubt, fear, or ANY mental virii prevent you from accomplishing your dreams. Never be a victim of life; be its conqueror.”

-- Mike Norton 

If I keep failing on one thing even though I try my best, should I quit or continue it?

We “keep failing on one thing” not because we try our best, but because we don’t understand the lesson. Take the “one thing” and ask yourself why you continue to fail. Give your try at the “one thing” a serious critique. See if you can discover where you keep falling down.

As a note: I stopped playing the expert version of the solitaire game “Freecell” when I discovered, after a year, there is always an answer if you work hard enough to find it. I was about to do the same with the expert “Majong” puzzles when an expert game presented itself that I couldn’t solve. I still have it saved, not solved, after working over six hours on it. I will continue working on it until I find a solution... if there is one. Such is life.

Why do some people end up loving what they do, while so many others fail at this?

I have loved everything I’ve ever done. I have only gone after jobs I knew I would be happy doing. I suppose people fail at this because they take any job available and then learn whether they love it or not. Once or twice, I may not have loved the managers and supervisors in charge, but I always went to work happy and ready to excel, whether they wanted me to, or not. Supervisors and managers go away, especially if “someone” knows the job better than they do. Be that someone.

Strive to be happy always. Strive to be happy in everything you do. If you feel the job sucks, either make it better or change jobs and if you do change jobs, you have to make better choices next time. Failure is a chance for us to learn why we went wrong in our choices and decisions, and move forward with new knowledge.

How do you usually deal with your own failures?

Failure is simply another opportunity to learn. I critique why I failed, what choices and decisions were wrong, and then I try again. I only truly fail when I stop trying and, then, I have to admit, to own, that the goal is simply beyond my ability to attain… at the moment. The one thing I never do is let my inability to attain a goal affect my so much greater ability to be happy at all times.

“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”

-- Truman Capote

Congratulations on your most recent success. Would you tell us what you did to accomplish this?

I woke up to the gift of a brand new day! Any time you wake up on this side of the dirt is a success. It gives us another chance to excel in life. The best thing I can say about this success is that it takes very little, other than the right mindset, for anyone to enjoy it. Realize that any “failure” is simply another opportunity to learn. Strive to be happy always and in all things you do.

If everything happens for a reason, then the reason can be good or bad? Right?

Yes, and that reason is usually based on a choice or decision we made.

If you forgot your car keys and went back inside to get them and, soon after, got hit by another car at an intersection, was it totally their fault? Or, should you have remembered your keys and been past the intersection when the other car came through it?

By the same token, you might arrive in time to give first aid to someone who was hurt in the accident, instead of being past it. We can be hurt, or we can help others. What we do, the choices and decisions we make, have a great bearing on why things happen to us, and to those around us.

How is success best briefly defined in life?

Be happy always! Strive to be happy at all times and in all things. How can you be happy working toward a goal if the goal won’t make you happy? What good is attaining a goal unless you are truly happy when you reach it?

“Define success on your own terms, achieve it by your own rules, and build a life you’re proud to live.”

-- Anne Sweeney

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com