Questioning Energy, Choice, Learning, and Ego

 

“The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, person and family history, belief systems, and often nationalistic, racial, religious, and other collective identifications. None of these is you.”

-- Eckhart Tolle

I know what I have to do but can’t find the energy to do it?

Procrastination.

What can you say is your greatest failure, and can you give an honest reason for the failure?

My 25-year marriage to a woman who never loved me. I spent 23 years in the military, and if your significant other isn’t okay with that it can cause a significant rift. The fact that she tried hard to make the marriage fail, ran contrary to me trying hard to make the marriage work. We were getting nowhere. When I retired, things went from bad to so much worse. She knew she had half of my military retirement, so, game over.

For over 20 years, those who knew us would tell me the marriage was over before it began. I was too hard-headed to admit it, and this was another problem - my own hard-headed denial.

I’m still confused at how a woman who doesn’t love someone can use them for over 20 years and have children with them. Women are from Venus. Needless to say, for over 20 years I have sworn off marriage and never been happier.

Do we choose what we become since we only do the best in our given situation?

Unless you let someone else live your life for you, yes, your life is your choice. If you find you aren’t doing your best at what you chose to do, remember, it was your choice. Own it.

“But until a person can say deeply and honestly, "I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday," that person cannot say, "I choose otherwise.”

-- Stephen R. Covey

Are self-development and re-evaluation necessary to achieve success?

Yes! Those, and so much more if “business” success, or “life” success (happiness), is to be sustainable.

How do you make a possibly tedious task interesting?

I don’t take a task unless I’m interested in it. If my boss assigns me a task, and I want to keep my job, I’m interested in it. Hey, pretty simple, this. If you’re doing a job you love, and you should be, then, if the task is tedious it should also be interesting. If everything doesn’t follow, you might rethink your job choice.

Is it really more difficult to learn new things as we age or do we just become undisciplined?

Actually, approaching 70, I find it easier to learn new things, primarily because I want to. As I got older my discipline became much better. I wish I’d had this discipline in school.

"Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young."

-- Henry Ford

As a highly successful person, what is your most valuable piece of life advice?

Before you become a highly “successful” person, learn how to be happy always and in all things, even failure. If you can do this, your “success” will be sustainable, even in failure.

What is a cause that you’ll always passionately support?

Children’s hospitals.

What’s the best way to stand out in the world?

Unless you’re fixated on becoming a target, why would you want to? Ego? Not a great reason. Better to be the best you can be and strive to be happy always.

“Midlife is the time to let go of an overdominant ego and to contemplate the deeper significance of human existence.”

-- Carl Gustav Jung

Where should you start when you want and need to do something with your life but do not know where to start at?

My mom would tell you to start between the “a” and the “t” because “at” doesn’t belong at the end of a sentence. As for me, I say you should start with what interests you. Your life’s path is going to change several times, so embrace this face and try to have fun and be happy always in your endeavors.

What are the reflections on developing habits?

They are “developing” which means you have a choice to accept them or not. If they’re good, like treating women with respect, then accept them. If they’re bad, then let them go. Habits are nothing more than choice, conscious or subconscious, but still, just a choice we make. Make good ones.

What advice would you give to a 34-year-old who's looking to reinvent themselves? Is 34 too late for me to reinvent myself and love a better life?

Hell no! It is never too late to learn and to reach for that gold ring, especially not at 34. I reinvented myself in college, in the military, in civilian life, twice, and in retirement. Go for it!

“Reinvent yourself over and over and over and over and over until you find home. There is no timeline for the soul.”

-- Malebo Sephodi

How true have you found this to be in your own particular endeavors that, like the researcher, Carl Johnson has stated, “As long as you keep moving, failures can become turning points”?

Absolutely! Failure is nothing more than an opportunity to learn. Critique why you failed, fix it, try again until you get it right, and then press on to the next task. Failure is a turning point until you let it defeat you and you give up. Keep at it and you will always move forward.

At which point does age matter when it comes to succeeding or starting a career? I just failed university at 25 (though I gave my all) and it feels as if I am getting old and need to have achievements already.

Approaching 70, I thought about starting a new job. I decided against it. My girlfriend, however, found a position at a “big box” store in the “quick checkout” and just loves it. She has been touted as one of the best employees they have and has accepted a full-time position, She is, also, approaching 70. When does age matter? When you decide it does. Until then, give them hell!

What is something that held you back, and how did you overcome it?

A lack of focus. I had the I.Q., I just had no idea how to utilize it. I joined the military and found focus and purpose. When I retired from active duty, I brought both with me into the civilian workforce and was so much better for the experience.

“Our regrets, our fears, they hold us back. We have to let them go so we can become what we're supposed to be. We have to burn them all away.”

-- Amie Kaufman

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com