Questions of Behavior, Choice, and Reinforcement

“I wouldn't do this if I didn't care, but you mean everything to me, and if this is what you need, then this is what you'll get. But we're damned well going to work on changing this association between caring and spanking.”

-- Cherise Sinclair

******************************

Note to my readers:  They, the site I answer questions on, keep giving me "weekly" stats, every couple of weeks.  Kinda doesn't meet the definition, but...  

The message was: "Congratulations, your answers had 6,089 views in the past week!"  Whoo-hoo!  I suppose, should be my correct response, if I really gave a fig, which I don't.  I do this for the people asking the questions and, of course, for those 6,089 who chose to read them.  I don't do it to boost readership; I have no ego.  I don't get paid for this; and I don't really need the money.  It is, for me, a "labor of love" if I have to call it anything.  I do it because I love to write, and think, and mentor.  I am doling out my "bathroom quasi-wisdom" because I am, after all, the Semi-Ancient Piehole Philosopher.

****************************** 

Do you ever ponder the importance or value of your life?

I used to do it all the time, then I retired. What I did was important and valuable, to the extent they wouldn’t let me retire because I was a member of an elite group who possessed core knowledge. Who woulda thunk? Then I retired again, after another 17-year career, just to be called out of retirement by my old boss for relatively big money. No, I stopped thinking about my importance and worth. I am my own worst critic, but everyone else seems to like what I do, except, of course, the League of the perpetually Offended, but nobody can’t help them.

What am I actually afraid of? Is it the right thing to be afraid of? Should I be thus afraid of it or rationally, should I be less or more afraid?

It would depend on what you’re actually afraid of. Answer the first question, first, and then you can answer the rest.

I just terminated my therapy sessions after 1 year and I feel satisfied with everything but I am extremely sad it all came to an end. What should I do or how should I feel?

Not knowing why you were in therapy, I would hope the outcome would be to strive to be happy always. I say this because you probably weren’t in a happy place if you were in therapy.

“Courage doesn’t happen when you have all the answers. It happens when you are ready to face the questions you have been avoiding your whole life.”

-- Shannon L. Alder

Why is it important to embrace the world you are in rather than clinging to the world that you come from?

Everything changes, even the world we come from. Hold onto the best of your culture so you can share it with the young, but learn to embrace the best of the new world you are in so we can move toward the future.

What would bother you more, something bad that has happened to someone or something that would be selfish?

Both would bother me equally if the person wronged didn’t see it coming. If they saw it coming and did nothing about it, I would feel less bothered by it. And, if they willingly let the drama unfold in their life, I would feel they got the drama they invited into their lives and would not expect them to complain about their choice since they got what they asked for. Being human, however, I fully expect them to complain till the cows come home. It’s what most people who make bad choices do.

How many enemies worthy of mention have you made throughout your life?

I don’t make enemies, it’s counterproductive. Many people have made me their enemy, though, like my ex-wife. I try to get along with everybody, but there are those few who simply won’t put forth the effort. It is so much easier to hate than put any effort into getting along with each other.

I never hated anyone as much as my ex-wife by the time she was through with me. I forgave her for everything, then I forgave myself for my part in our 20 years of hell together, and then I accepted the apology I knew I was never going to get from her. This forgiveness has made the most difference in my life, my path, and who I am.

Don’t make enemies. If people make you an enemy, well, that says more about them than you. If someone makes you their enemy, better to ask them why, then smile, shake their hand, and thank them for the information. You might have something to work on that you aren’t aware of, or they could be perpetually offended, in which case there is no changing their mind.

“Now there is a final reason I think that Jesus says, "Love your enemies." It is this: that love has within it a redemptive power. And there is a power there that eventually transforms individuals. Just keep being friendly to that person. Just keep loving them, and they can’t stand it too long. Oh, they react in many ways in the beginning. They react with guilt feelings, and sometimes they’ll hate you a little more at that transition period, but just keep loving them. And by the power of your love they will break down under the load. That’s love, you see. It is redemptive, and this is why Jesus says love. There’s something about love that builds up and is creative. There is something about hate that tears down and is destructive. So love your enemies. (from "Loving Your Enemies")”

-- Martin Luther King Jr.

How do I become the perfect and flawless role model for everyone to look up to?

If you aspire to be this the first truth you must embrace and share is, there is no such thing as “perfect” and “flawless.” If you want people to look up to you, your ego will always get in the way. First, learn humility. Be humble in all you do. Second, develop a moral set of ethical values. Third, stand by those values, no matter the consequences. Fourth, mentor those who seek your assistance. And, finally, you will be a light in the darkness. But, be very mindful of what you wish for. Be selfless in all you do, and strive to be happy always.

If good and bad need each other, how do you know when to stop fighting bad?

Good and bad need each other in the sense that there must be balance in the universe. There must be darkness in order to recognize the light. There must be sour to recognize sweet. There must be hatred to recognize love. There must be good to recognize evil, and so on, and so on.

The righteous can never stop fighting against bad because bad will always be with us. Bad gives balance to good. The principles of yin and the yang, the dark and the light, whose interaction influences destinies.

Are rules and regulations broken by the very people who create the rules?

Yes! Situationally, rules are meant to be broken. And, if they’re really serious about rules and regulations, they’ll rewrite them, taking into consideration the situation that caused the “rule-makers” to break their own rules.  If they don't allow for growth they are doomed to failure.

“Rules are mostly made to be broken and are too often for the lazy to hide behind”

-- Douglass Macarthur

What do I do if I regret something?

Make it right, or move on. What is done is in the past. The future is what you make of now.

What are the necessary conditions that need to be met for an action/behavior to be considered as being a free choice?

You are always free to choose. Every choice you make is because you are free to make it. If you feel you are being forced into a choice, just choose to not make the choice. You are also free to give up your right to make your own choice, which is in itself a free choice you make. Everything that happens in life is due to a choice you made, good or bad. Is it your fault you drowned? It is if you made the choice to go on the boat or in the water. Did someone force you onto the boat? When did you choose to be with that someone?

If we trace life back to birth, it was your choice to come out of the chute. How did you know what life was going to be like? If your parents beat you, it was your choice not to beat them back and make them stop. I’m sure there are probably situations out there that one can truly say are not grounded in a choice or decision they made, but I can’t think of one.

What is the minimum age to be worth being alive?

The minute you are conceived, you are worth being alive. How valuable your life is, is dependent on the choices you make. You can equate your life to money. Money is just a concept in your pocket until you take it out and use it to purchase something. Your life is also a concept of value, but until you utilize your life for something you won’t truly know the value of it. If you play music, teach, mentor, work a job, make friends, support a family, raise children, and on, and on, you are proving your inherent worth to yourself and to others.

I’ve had people talk to me about feeling worthless, yet I had to remind them that the information they were imparting to me was valuable and that gave their life worth to me. Everyone is valuable and a life worth living, even the unborn whose life is in the hands of a woman who holds the power of birth or death over them, simply because she has that right to choose.

“We don’t look at ourselves to see if we are inadequate, we don’t ask ourselves if we are enjoying life. What we do instead is we look at other people and what they do then decide if our life is worth living.”

-- Cave Man

Do you feel like you do a better job when you wait until the last minute to do it?

No, that would be lying to myself. I do a better job when I take the time to plan it out, especially if I can prepare for the unexpected.

When did you realize that your health is more important than material items?

When I realized that, without my health, I can afford to purchase material items, much less enjoy them.

What type of reinforcement gets the best results, positive or negative?

The answer is situational. It depends on what you’re after in the end. A spanking can be viewed as negative unless the “victim” likes being spanked, in which case the “best results” are immediate. Just saying.

“Being spanked is the ultimate obedience, the final pleasure. It is life on the highwire.”

-- Chloe Thurlow

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com