Questioning Morals, Principles, and Pride

What do you acknowledge that most people don’t?

Continuation of life after this life; a real “afterlife” where you are reborn into another realm to learn more than you learned here. The possibility of countless realities we have yet to travel. I think most people have faith in a “heaven” of sorts, with God and angels. Or, that this is it, and when we die, we die. I don’t buy that, though. There is too much controversy about after-death experiences, paranormal hauntings, and the possibility of multiple dimensions to make a concrete statement of fact, one way or another. I believe that, at the end of the road, there is a destination. It might be heaven for some. But, until I reach that level, I will continue to enjoy the journey. I prefer to look forward to the next great adventure.

What's something most important you want the whole world to know?

Strive to be happy always! The alternative simply sucks.

What is your opinion of the idea that courage is an essential human quality?

First of all, let’s clear up a common misconception:

“Bravery is the ability to confront something painful or difficult or dangerous without any fear. It’s a quality, not a state of mind; it doesn’t need a cause to awaken it. Someone is brave—full stop. To the person who has it, it’s effortless; it’s eating a caterpillar on the playground because a friend dares you to, without a second thought. It’s jumping from the highest diving board without any hesitation.

Courage, on the other hand, is the ability to confront something painful or difficult, or dangerous despite any fear. It’s not a quality, but a choice; a person feels the fear of pain or danger but chooses to persevere anyway. Unlike bravery, courage is driven by a cause; the courageous person believes that cause is worth standing up and fighting for, despite all the clear reasons not to. It takes a great effort because what’s on the other end merits it.”

-- What’s the Difference Between Courage and Bravery?

Bravery is not “essential” for the simple reason that, by definition, not everyone possesses it. Courage, on the other hand, most people have even if they don’t think they do. Job interviews intimidate many people, but they push on through it in order to get a job. People don’t like needles, yet they will go get an inoculation to be safe. And, let’s not even address marriage.

My simple view of the two is like this, “I am brave enough to take on the enemy alone and without question, but you must ask yourself if you have the courage to follow me and protect your own?” Most of us are not brave, by nature, but most of us are courageous enough to protect our own, given the choice. Bravery will come when you willingly, and without thought or hesitation, give your life for another.

“I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what.  - Atticus Finch”

-- Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

Do people accept the idea that one person can make or break their lives? Are people willing to give others that much power?

I think most people acknowledge that some others have this kind of power, but I think the way it is put might be erroneous. Some have the power to prevent you from taking or continuing down a chosen path. If you stop and choose to acknowledge they have beaten you, you are broken. This ability they have is only powerful as long as they can make people bend to their will. You can beat against the iron gates forever, but if no one opens them you are beaten. Better to acknowledge the barrier and thank them for the opportunity they have given you to try another avenue to success.

No one really has “that much power.” Everyone makes a mistake, sooner or later, but if you’ve given up you will miss the opportunity, the mistake, you might have been able to take advantage of. The bigger they are, the harder they are to miss. Who has the upper hand, the giant elephant or the millions of ants crawling all over it? The downside of selling stock: Who owns your company, you or your majority shareholders?

Do you win people over with your morals or your ideas?

If they’re receptive to them, and in agreement, yes. But, I try not to make it a competition. What I believe is a matter of my faith, and what they believe is a matter of theirs. I am accepting and tolerant of other peaceful beliefs in a moral, ethical, practice of faith. I really despise those who push their chosen religious doctrine. This leads to a judgment that, my faith says, is not acceptable to exercise. Instead, I prefer a personal, spiritual approach where one has the choice to follow along until they find their own path. 

So, I turn 24 on October 22nd, and just to a level, I feel scared of growing up a bit. I know it’s ok to be a kid at heart and to be yourself, I don’t want to get old and look back and feel I wasn’t myself, but being too much of a kid can be sad, Why?

“For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” — Corinthians 13:9–13

If not now, then when? I am 67 years of age. I feel like I'm 45, most of the day. When I get up in the morning, I feel like 80, until I have coffee. I still go see the guys at the cigar bar for a bourbon and a good cigar. We take the opportunity to act like we’re still kids in the military. Most of us wish we were.

Life is more than just childhood and old age. Life comes at us in stages, so we can learn what each stage has to teach. Learn to be a young adult and to remain a child at heart. Learn to be an adult, supervise and manage, and do so by working hard and playing hard. Learn to slip into retirement looking back and remembering all the fun and good times you had, and all the people you mentored on how to be happy always. And, learn to look forward to old age with a glint in your eye and spring in your step. Never be afraid to love, and never be afraid to dance.

“When we are children we seldom think of the future. This innocence leaves us free to enjoy ourselves as few adults can. The day we fret about the future is the day we leave our childhood behind.”

-- Patrick Rothfuss

Is it bad if I didn't dump the person who hurt me but ignored and distanced from her instead?

Yes. What was wrong with honesty? Confronting your problems is always the best way to go. they might have realized the mistake. They might have apologized and had a new respect for you. Now, you’ve taken a low road. You can either accept it for what it is, low, learn from it and not do it again, or correct the mistake you made and sit down with them and explain why you took a low road. Explain what an ass you’ve been by not talking to them about things. Just a thought.

Author's comment:  Well, in my defense, I know I could’ve done that but our friendship was toxic since some time and the person was using me to feel better about herself, not caring about my feelings at all. I didn’t want to save it, I wanted to end it but since she distanced from me aswell, I felt that was just more natural. Thank you for your opinion tho, I appreciate it.

My reply:  It sounds like you've answered this question yourself. I think you know you still should have done the right thing and, basically, put it all on her before letting her go. In this way, you would have no reason to really care because you’d done the right thing. Strive to be happy always!

What is a principle?

I can’t explain this better than the definition: “a fundamental truth or proposition that serves as the foundation for a system of belief or behavior or for a chain of reasoning.”

Morally ethical principles help to create the "foundation" for who I am in the eyes of others. Well, except in the eyes of the League of the Perpetually Offended. The definition, as well as the words “moral, ethical, and principle” all seem to have eluded their understanding, a good reason to ignore them

Social help! How do I politely tell people to get out of my house? I've had two homeless friends living with me for a month and one for two months. They are very "social" people so if I want to do something alone they come to sit next to me?

As a 67-year-old curmudgeon, I’m just spitballing here, but, if you really want them to “get out” of your house, you’re going to have to be firm, not polite. I’d start with saying, “GET OUT!” If that doesn’t work, help them to understand by changing the locks and leaving their stuff outside. Then, I’d start asking myself the easy questions. These are my friends? What am I basing my friendship on? What are they basing their friendship with me on? And, here would be my favorite: Why do I have a place to live and they don’t? Hmmm… “Social” people, until everyone else’s money runs out.

"You have to have enough respect for other human beings to leave their lives alone. If you admire that life, build it for yourself. Don't just try to come in and take somebody else's life."

-- Elizabeth Edwards

What is the best truth about life’s future?

It will end. Oh, the best truth… uh, it will begin anew! Life begins again. We are here to learn lessons that will take us forward into our next life. If you don’t learn the lessons here, you may have to repeat this life until you do, or you might have to work harder in the next life in order to not be held back, again. Our existence is all about learning and moving forward. In the end, we will download all we have learned into the "greater consciousness" so the universe can continue to grow, as well.

If you are not first in anything and you have not found a professional path where you would flourish, how can you accept your insignificance?

I joined the military. I found direction, confidence, experience, and I learned that anybody who wants to be significant is already on the path to their goal. 

Do you believe that you are prideful? Why or why not?

Absolutely not. I strive to be not only happy always, but as humble as possible. I’m the first to make fun of myself when I screw up. Humility has kept me able to help others, as I am no better. I am simply another soul who has been through the same shit and come out the other side in one piece and smelling no worse for the experience.

“A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.”

-- C.S. Lewis

Would you agree that nothing is what we think it is, but what we think is never completely wrong either?

A pencil is a pencil. A turd is a turd. And, some sayings are best unlearned. Most things I come into contact with are exactly what I think they are. In the paranormal or quantum realms, probably not. But, to make a statement that nothing is what we think it is, well, is just silly. What we think might not be completely wrong, could be totally wrong. As of today, “nothing” is simply an unproven concept, as is a total vacuum, and “never” is a word best saved for centers of higher learning that throw it around without thought and usually end up eating the truth of “maybe.”  There is no intelligent life in the universe, that we know of.

Author's comment:  It’s not common sense, I know. But philosophy often isn’t. If it was common sense, there would have been no point in asking it.

My reply:  There is no such thing as “common” sense anymore. But, if there is no point in asking the question there would be no point in answering it, which I like doing. Good, bad, or indifferent, there is always a point. There are always questions and a butt load of “opinions” to answer them.

Are good manners associated with maturity? Even though a young person thinks people become ruder with age.

My dad was one of those people who thought age allowed him to act like an ass. Good manners are what they are - good. Good manners should not be associated with a particular time in life.  Learn them, use them, and don't ever forget them.  People on the downhill side of life need to remember that they are the mentors for those who are climbing up the other side. The elderly are setting the example, and if you act like an ass what kind of an example is that?

At what age do you typically develop a stable sense of self?

Never. I had to laugh at this because my sense of self at 67 years of age is anything but stable. I think everyone develops a “sense of self” at some point, but to say it’s “stable” is like saying a vacuum is absolute. Heraclitus rightly states, “The only constant in life is change.” Our “sense of self” will rarely, if ever, be stable. The sense of moral ethics that we stand by will generally define who we are, but even those morals and ethics can be continually honed and polished… or bent, if the need arises.

“Unlike simple stress, trauma changes your view of your life and yourself. It shatters your most basic assumptions about yourself and your world - "Life is good,” “I’m safe,” “People are kind,” “I can trust others,” “The future is likely to be good” - and replaces them with feelings like “The world is dangerous,” “I can’t win,” “I can’t trust other people,” or “There’s no hope.”

-- Mark Goulston, MD

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com