Questioning How We Treat Others

 

“How we treat people is always our choice, and if we choose not to be respectful, it can come back to bite us.”

-- Alison Levine

How high can you raise baseline happiness?

Happiness is happiness. You either really are or you aren’t. Happiness is a conscious choice each of us must make for our lives. Once we make the choice to be happy, it is incumbent upon us to keep unnecessary drama out of our lives and strive to be happy always. No one but us can allow our lives to be happy or not. We tend to allow drama to rule us and cause us grief. We must, each of us, take back control of our lives and understand that everything that happens is due to something we allowed to happen. Better to be happy always!

What do you call someone that points out what you said when they said/did the exact same thing? A hypocrite or something else?

"Hypocrite," says it all.

“Anything you cannot relinquish when it has outlived its usefulness possesses you, and in this materialistic age, a great many of us are possessed by our possessions.” – Peace Pilgrim. What can you say about this quote?

It is not well thought out.  If history possesses us, so be it. Yes, some people can become hoarders of things no longer useful, but many of us become attached to things that share history in our lives. A military uniform, when we’ve retired, might be one. The first guitar we ever played. Many antiques are not very useful other than to remind us of quality we may never see again. When we begin to see real history, tangible history, in a bad light, our “materialism” is just a step away from becoming something much worse.  Canceling history because it's no longer useful?  We might as well line up the elderly, then.

"In the perfect society, there is neither emotion nor mercy; precious space cannot be wasted on those who have outlived their usefulness."

-- Author: Frank Herbert

Do you care if anybody thinks you’re wrong by refusing to accept your own statements?

No. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion, regardless of how ignorant it may seem to others, or how ignorant people might judge it. If a statement is wrong, it is incumbent upon those who judge to present proven evidence to the contrary. Many people tend to believe what the media tells them, yet the media is currently back-peddling on things they’ve been touting as true that most Americans knew were not. Media used to present evidence, not just make editorial comments most of us know are false.  Mass media has lost much credibility. 

Are you a person that wants to be a part of something good?

I am an active participant in life, so I have already chosen to be a part of something good. Occasionally, I have the opportunity to participate in something better, that life presents me, though. This makes me smile broader.

Can you please provide an example of others making a leap of judgment on someone else's appearance or situation?

I used to make a "leap of judgment" where beautiful women were concerned. Then, I would have the opportunity to meet them. I began to lower my bar until I found people with better personalities. Unfortunately, I now have to fight making the opposite judgment where beautiful women are concerned. Not everyone is the same, and judging is never a good thing unless it is proven to be true. I have met several beautiful women who are actually beautiful on the inside, as well.

“Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.”

-- Rita Mae Brown

Why is "be thankful you have a job" considered bad advice by some people?

"Some people" are never satisfied with what they have, or who they are.  They probably never will be, and happiness may elude them as they pay more attention to success as satisfaction they will never have.

Help me, I beg you. How do I keep my composure when a group of people is confronting or being mean to me?

Keep your composure and help yourself by simply leaving. What they’re doing says more about them than you. Find different people to be around. People who more tolerant or accepting of differences. If these idiots confront you for leaving, tell them what they do says more about them being “judgmental” assholes than anything it might say about you.

Why do narcissists keep up their pretense of being somewhat special and better than the rest even with people who see them for who they are and don't buy their lies anymore?

Because they’re narcissists. It is an assumption that they recognize what they feel as a “pretense.” They can’t help what they are unless they see themselves for what they are and then determine to work at changing. It is difficult to become something you don’t recognize yourself as being, especially when you’re a narcissist.

“When I look at narcissism through the vulnerability lens, I see the shame-based fear of being ordinary. I see the fear of never feeling extraordinary enough to be noticed, to be lovable, to belong, or to cultivate a sense of purpose.”

-- Brené Brown

What are you doing right now? And why are you doing this at this time?

Uh… I’m answering your question, and I’m doing it now because I have the moment to do so. Did you really not know, or did I completely misread the question?

Which is correct, “look you squarely in the eyes” or 'look you solidly in your eyes'?

I’ve never heard of looking someone “solidly” in the eyes, but I have heard of looking them “squarely” in the eyes.

How do you feel about people that hate being made fun of by anyone?

People who hate are going to hate whether they’re made fun of or not, so what’s the point? Better to just ignore the haters and pay more attention to being happy always, as this will just piss them off more than making fun of them. Haters are charter members of the League of the Perpetually Offended, and I find ignoring them either really gets under their skin, or makes them feel superior, which, of course, they’re not, and everybody knows they’re not, except other members of the LPO. They will either come around to not being perpetually offended or feed on themselves until they finally disappear.

“For someone’s ugliness or the congenital abnormality of their body or body part, if we cannot help but laugh, we ought to laugh, not at them, but at Mother Nature.”

-- Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Should I start avoiding certain people who I intuitively feel might take advantage of my genuine kindness or should I stop being nice?

Never stop being nice, just don’t allow people to take advantage of it. Avoiding them will solve nothing, and they will just use someone else. Being nice would mean being honest with them about your “intuitive” feelings, and see how they react. Sometimes people don’t really understand others see them as taking advantage. This knowledge might change how they act. Whatever happens, never stop being nice, just be aware.

Do you have the qualifications to want what you want if you are not as good as you think?

Being my own worst critic, I’m never as good as I think. I have qualifications I didn’t even know I had that have made human resources people want me to fill positions I wasn’t really applying for. As a retired intelligence analyst, I was asked to review a vacant chaplaincy office and report back to the medical center’s HR office to let them know what was going on. They were so impressed with my “military” report, they asked when I could start as their lead chaplain. I ended up volunteering with them for almost 4 years until the chaplaincy I snookered more clergy to get involved.

My boyfriend told me that I should go find a rich man to marry when we broke up. It doesn't make any sense because I have never become a demanding and arrogant girlfriend. Why did he say it?

Maybe he feels he’s not good enough for you. Have you told him he is? More importantly, have you asked him to marry you? If not, ask yourself why not. Sometimes our answers are right in front of us.

“The mind must be enlarged to see the simple things — or even to see the self-evident things.”

-- G.K. Chesterton

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com