Questioning Happiness and Love

 

"Happiness is an action… it is a path we “walk” thru our actions and we develop a practice… a happiness practice that produces medicine that feeds our soul… I find it to be that way in my experience… becomes a habit that I cannot live without… a choice."

-- Trude Scharff, Addiction and Substance Abuse Counselor

What is a quote or philosophy of life that resonated with you the most? Why?

Be happy always! Why? Because the alternative simply sucks.

Which of the three different kinds of happiness is most important to you (The Pleasant Life, The Good Life, and The Meaningful Life)? Why?

Well, if life is pleasant and good, then I consider it meaningful. You must live a selfless life to be truly happy, and strive for true happiness always. There is no greater way to make life meaningful than to live it selflessly.  So, if you're truly happy and living selflessly, life is pleasant and good.  I can't think of anything more meaningful.

Have you ever tried to make something right by beating on it?

Yes, but it hurt like hell and it still wasn’t right.

“To the man who only has a hammer, everything he encounters begins to look like a nail.”

-- Abraham Maslow

How does a person start over in life? What does that really mean?

Embracing a “reset” of your life. After my divorce, I had lost everything, including my self-respect. She took it all and I was really left with nothing. I had to come to grips with the reality of it all. With the help of friends and family, I was able to replace all I had lost and built on it until I was financially and emotionally healthier than I’d ever been. Most people look at suicide as an “I’ll show them” solution. It never works out that way. Better to show them by becoming more than you were and more than they could ever hope to be. Learn to forgive yourself, forgive them, and accept the apology from them that you know you’ll never receive. 

What is an attempt to accomplish a goal?

A good start, but a goal not accomplished.

My boyfriend cheated on me and forcing me to stay with him and he does not care that I am depressed. What should I do?

Being forced to stay somewhere you don’t want to be is kidnapping. Being forced to do things you don’t want to do is slavery. There are laws against both. Both are illegal. If you’re staying of your own accord, however, he really isn’t forcing you. Life is all about making good choices, and the freedoms to think and choose are the freedoms we hold dear. What choices are you making?

“The greatest power requires the gentlest touch.

If you have to intervene or force yourself on someone else, then what that's actually an indication of is that you don't actually believe in your own power.

Because if you believed in your own power - if you knew you were powerful enough to create the reality that you prefer - why would you need in any way shape or form to interfere with anyone else's process?”

-- Bashar

What's something only 100-year-old people can do?

Celebrate their 100th birthday!

What’s the best way to fall out of love with somebody?

If you’re looking for a way to fall out of love, you’re already there. Well done!

What do you do when you have no confidence nor were you ever given any as a child when growing up?

Join a branch of the military. They are great confidence builders.

“Once you embrace your value, talents, and strengths, it neutralizes when others think less of you.”

-- Rob Liano 

So, I have this guy I work with and I really like him. He is giving me signs that he likes me. He is single and I wanna take him out. All of my co-workers are routing for me and this guy that I and him get together. What to do?

Jump! You’ll never know until you make a move and find out. But, take it slow. Hope for the best, but be prepared for, “Oops!”

Why am I not in love with you?

Hmmm… well, you don’t know me is a big part of that. If you did know me, you might run away due to our incompatibility. True love requires some knowledge of, and affection for, the target of one’s love. 

What makes things right or wrong?

How your society or your spiritual beliefs view these things. But, even then, they can still be viewed in the other light. There are Christians who know that abortion is wrong, in all but a few cases, even though it seems to be allowed in all cases by society.  Yet, these "righteous "Christians approve of it in all circumstances. This is hypocritical, but they find a reason, in their minds, to excuse their belief. When it comes to right and wrong, it really rests on the individual’s sense of moral ethics. Are your moral ethics good or bad, right or wrong? Hmmm… here we go again.

Reader Comment:  Do you think raping your enemies is ever acceptable?

My Answer:  No. It goes against the Law of Armed Conflict and human decency. If an order to do this is given by a military commander it should be considered an illegal order.

“Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it.”

-- Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910), author

Is it okay to choose an unhealthy love from someone because you can't find the love you desire?

No. This requires no elaboration. If this love is unhealthy, that is reason enough not to choose it. Better to wait for a healthier choice or, better yet, for “the love that you desire.”

It’s 3:00 am, and I'm thinking of my ex-boyfriend. It’s been two months since he dumped me. He was suffering from depression, but after we broke up he told me he is happier now. It feels like I’m the one depressed.

Not really a question, but I'll throw in my two-cents worth.  Sounds to me like he had relationship or commitment issues that depressed him. If so, anyone he was with would have depressed him.  Time for you to realize him being your "ex" is probably for the best.  Time for you to move on to greener pastures. Life is all about learning from mistakes.  Sometimes we make the wrong choices. Learn from them so you can avoid the problem or mistake next time.

How did people come to be religious in the first place?

Spirituality became organized into like thinking people with ceremonies, rules, and agendas, some hidden and some not. Instead of individual belief, spirituality became widespread and cultural.

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”

-- Garrison Keillor, author, humorist

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as a chaplain at the regional medical center.