Questioning Goodness?

"Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love." 

-- Saint Teresa of Calcutta (1910-1997)

Is there really such a thing as someone or something that is too good?

I used to think so, but I always found something better. Nothing can ever be too good. If they are, they’re usually too good to be true.

Is there anything you use to do very well but now you can't quite get it right? For example, I use to be really good at doing hair, especially my own. Now I struggle. Why is that?

Nope. Everything I used to suck at, I still suck at, and everything I did well I still do well. The one thing I really sucked at was being happy always, but since my divorce, I have learned how to be this… always.

How do you motivate an underperforming team?

I would start by asking the team why they’re underperforming. If they’re “underperforming” they risk losing their jobs. If you’re the supervisor/manager, they risk losing your job. If the team is “too big” perhaps “thinning the herd” is in order, followed by a raise for those who take up the slack. And, there is always profit-sharing, which seems to teach a team how to police itself and keep the performance up.

"The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude!"

-- Unknown 

How can you relate the parable you like the most to your present life?

John 8:4–11

4 they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. 5 Now in the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” 6 This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. 7 And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. 9 But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. 10 Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”

People who dare to judge need to clean their own house first, and then consider the hypocrisy they evidence. As for me, I am a self-proclaimed hypocrite and, therefore, have no issue calling out other hypocrites for their stance on murdering the innocent who cannot protect or speak for themselves. This puts me constantly at odds with the League of the Perpetually Offended.

What should I say instead of “I have no idea”?

"Uh… got me." 

Which is more important, my freedom or your life?

For my 23 years of military service, I volunteered to risk my own life for the freedom of others. Your question, however, might be better if you asked yourself, “Which is more important, my life or the freedom of others.” How you answer might say much about who you are, which should be much more important to you than who I am.

How do I come out as bi and transgender to my mom?

“Come out” in front of her, dressed to the teeth as the opposite gender.

“Make no mistake, hiding one's true self away in a closet and creating a facade of heterosexuality is not without its consequences. It may appear to have a degree of safety but from my experience they are very unhealthy places and do all kinds of terrible things to individuals psychologically, emotionally and behaviourally.....to say nothing of projection. The damage of the fear, shame, guilt and self-loathing that exist inside a closet are often reflected unknowingly in the external life of the individual. In or out of the closet; there is a price to pay. Each individual must weigh up the consequences of honesty, openness, secrecy and deception for themselves. Coming out, for most of us, is like an exorcism that releases us of the darkness we have lived in for years and caused us to believe awful things about ourselves. On the other side of the looking glass are freedom, light and life.”

-- Anthony Venn-Brown, author, evangelist

Do we need to be the ultimate sources of our actions to be responsible for them?

If the actions are “our actions,” as you stated, then it was our choice, our decision, to take the action. Whether we are the ultimate source, or not, it is always our choice to ignore an order or action because it violates our personal code of ethics. 

If you have inspired someone with your words of encouragement, does that mean they like you on some level?

That would depend on how self-centered they are. But, inspiring someone should be a selfless act. One would hope you inspired others with no expectation of someone liking you for it. Live for the sake of living, teach for the sake of teaching, inspire for the sake of inspiration. Life is about choices and decisions, so others must make the choice to be inspired or not, to be encouraged, or not. Your path continues, regardless of their choice. If they’re inspired, you’ve already moved on.

What's that one thing no one ever wants to hear?

Oops!

“No one wants to hear this but sometimes the person you want most is the person you're best without.”

-- Unknown

Should a 3-year-old go to a funeral?

At three years of age do they really have a concept? If they don’t, the decision is up to the parent to make them aware of a specific reality they may not be ready to comprehend, much less handle emotionally. Personally, I think three is much too young, not to go, but to handle the emotional burden of the explanation. Now, a wedding? Better for them to learn how to party down.

Do you ever complain that there’s nothing on TV?

Constantly. Moreso, that there is nothing “intelligent” on TV. Reality TV? Really? Like everyone doesn’t have enough of their own drama without inviting more into their pity party? I’ve been sticking to Science, Discovery, History, and Travel as my go-to when nothing else is available.

What are some creative ways to fall apart?

Why would one want to willingly fall apart? The desire is a little off. The idea of coming up with more “creative ways” to fall apart, is most concerning. If life is all about learning lessons, and the lessons are all about making choices and decisions, then you should be concentrating on making good ones and striving to be happy always.

“When you feel as if your whole world is falling apart, this is actually the beginning of it being put back together, the way it was supposed to be in the first place.”

-- Christine E. Szymanski, writer

How do you manage the human relations of your teammates at a distance?

They’re your teammates, not your children. You can show concern but, truth be known, their relations, their choices, and decisions, are none of your business. Your concern might be viewed negatively.

I met her two days ago can I propose to her?

You don’t even know her. What, are you nuts? No! She could be a serial killer for all you know. 

Why does my boyfriend have trust issues? We've been together for 5 years.

Trust, or commitment? Two different issues. I think if you’ve been together that long, he has trust. Commitment, and the responsibility it entails, might scare the bejesus out of him, though. Better to sit down and have this conversation with him. Honesty can works wonders for both of you.

“If we commit ourselves to one person for life, this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather, it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession but participation.”

-- Madeleine L'Engle (1918-2007), writer, poet, author

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as a chaplain at the regional medical center.