Answers: Adjusting for Wordiness?

 

“You were born a child of light’s wonderful secret— you return to the beauty you have always been.”

-- Aberjhani, historian, columnist, novelist, poet

 

Do people need luxuries or necessities more?

Why should you choose a bath over a beautiful woman? Why should you choose to eat healthy over a beautiful woman? Why should you choose to brush your teeth over a beautiful woman? Why choose health over wealth? Then, why should you choose wealth over necessities? Without the necessities, wealth would be living in a vacuum. Without the necessities, the beautiful woman would be so far beyond your reach. You might be a shunned leper in a world of luxury.

Personally, I’m not much for luxury. I can afford pretty much whatever I want, yet I choose a “flip” phone, a used car, a small home, and the like. My wealth comes in the form of my freedom to choose, my health, my friends, where I live, and the food I am graced to be able to purchase.

Focus on necessities. Put your “oxygen mask” on and then help the person next to you. First, you need to learn how to be happy always, or what’s the point?

What is the best advice you can give using only 1 image and 100 words?

The best advice is advice made short and simple. “Be happy always!”  The image for this advice is what you choose it to be. Personally, if a plane is going to crash, I'm pushing you out before I spend the time explaining, in 100 words, why jumping is good advice. The image of a mangled corpse is superfluous.

What is the best psychological word for staying alive?

Surviving.

“What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.”

-- Douglas Adams, author, writer, humorist

Do you agree with this statement: "He that would govern others first should be the master of himself"?

Oh my, yes! If you can’t master yourself, how do you expect to govern others? One must lead by ethical example. One must find in themselves the rock that others can lean on. Your obvious sense of ethics defines who you are. I have never ask someone to do what I haven’t done or are not willing to do. If you have a weakness, let it be your humility to let those around you know that you, like all of them, have a weakness. Be human, not superhuman. Many of the best leaders have been those who never sought to lead, they were chosen to, because of the person they were seen to be. Be the master of yourself before you deign to govern others.

How do you say “something is great”?

How about, “This is great!”?  (Another trick question?)

Why is it important to deeply think about everything you stand for?

What you "stand for" defines who you truly are. You can say much, and most people usually do, but to truly stand for your set of morally ethical principles is another matter entirely. You must think deeply about everything you want to stand for and, then, make it your second nature. You shouldn’t have to ask people to wait while you “deeply think” about what you are going to stand for one minute to the next. Know who you are, and be the light others choose to emulate.

“I'm worried that students will take their obedient place in society and look to become successful cogs in the wheel - let the wheel spin them around as it wants without taking a look at what they're doing. I'm concerned that students not become passive acceptors of the official doctrine that's handed down to them from the White House, the media, textbooks, teachers and preachers.”

-- Howard Zinn (1922-2010), historian, philosopher

What is another way of saying ‘the new normal’?

The “New Happy.” The “New Reality.” “Onset Socialism.” “No Fun.”

How can I possibly be good when everyone else is evil and will therefore always win over me?

Character and good moral ethics. The universe is all about balance. You’d be surprised at how many of you are out there, wondering the same thing. Evil can only win over you if you let it. A good character says you will laugh in the face of evil, even if it costs you what everyone else enjoys. Yes, it really isn’t fair. My best advice is for you to suck it up, Buttercup! Your reward is not in this world but, rather, in the next. What we learn and put into practice here has much bearing on how far we advance in our next existence. You will, in all probability, have the last laugh… for the time being. They might, sooner or later, finally get a clue and catch up.

What is the thing that has opened your eyes and awakened you to something?

Leo F. Buscaglia. I thought I was on the right track. I was comfortable in my interpretations of life and emotions. And then, I listened to a public television presentation of Leo Buscaglia. I listened to him. I was enthralled by him. My mind opened up to possibilities and truths I had not even considered. I cried, and then I laughed. His death was a loss to all on earth. I, for one, have missed him greatly.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

-- Leo Buscaglia (1924-1998), author, motivational speaker, educator

What is the decisive point for classifying a certain speech as unacceptable?

When it seriously deviates from the subject, is far too convoluted, or insults the audience.

Is there a word for “more than perfect”?

You can’t have “more than perfect” if nothing is actually perfect. The minute we label something as “perfect” someone will come along and make it better. Even in nature, we can say something is perfect but, upon closer inspection, there will be "acceptable" flaws. The best rating we can ever hope for at any one moment is “virtually flawless” which would make something "virtually" perfect.

How true must love and trust be a two-way street?

Very true, if a relationship is to have “staying power.” Without love and trust, what point is the relationship? An "open" relationship, or “two ships that pass in the night” would be better concepts than this. At least there's a modicum of honesty involved.

“True love will triumph in the end—which may or may not be a lie, but if it is a lie, it's the most beautiful lie we have.”

-- John Green, author

When shouldn't we adjust?

I wouldn’t “adjust” in a business meeting, or while being introduced, or in front of ladies. If you find the need to adjust, suck it up until you find a private spot, like the restroom, then you can adjust away. I assume this is the “adjustment” of which you speak?

What words describe someone that loves another person more than themselves?

Selfless devotion comes to mind, but even in this, you must love yourself more than enough to be able to give in this manner. There is no greater gift than giving one's life for another, but those that do love themselves so much they have no qualms about giving their life to save another. It is a selfless act of love for others that drives this. but it is the great, unquestionable, love of self that begins the journey.

When do babies carry great importance to society?

When we stop murdering them before they’re born. The measure of a society is how they treat the least of them, those who cannot stand to defend themselves.

“I feel the greatest destroyer of peace today is 'Abortion', because it is a war against the child... A direct killing of the innocent child, 'Murder' by the mother herself... And if we can accept that a mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell other people not to kill one another? How do we persuade a woman not to have an abortion? As always, we must persuade her with love... And we remind ourselves that love means to be willing to give until it hurts...”

-- Saint Teresa of Calcutta

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Questioning Acceptance and Such

 

“Wanting to be someone else 

is a waste of the person you are.”

-- Marilyn Monroe (1926-1962), actress, model, singer

Whenever I open Instagram or Facebook I see all these wonderful girls with great outfits. This makes me feel ugly and poor. How can I handle this?

Get off the internet and start focussing on why you “feel ugly and poor.” Stop comparing yourself to others. You don’t have any idea what problems they have to endure in order to be who they are. Are they any happier than you could be if you tried?  If you'd rather be them, be careful what you wish for. Don’t let being poor prevent you from being who you want to be. It takes work and time, but strive to be happy always.

Life is a classroom and we have many lessons to learn, especially about life.  We are dealt cards in a game we must learn to play.  Some become wealthy in order to learn humility, and some are born poor in order to learn the value of life itself.  What we learn here we take forward into our next life and all the lives that follow.  Learn this lesson and become more than you are.  

But, the most important lesson we must all learn is to be happy always.   Strive to do this, and to be the beacon for others to follow.  Rise above things for which you feel you have little or no control and you might just surprise yourself.

When is it not okay to say “Happy Thanksgiving”?

When it’s not Thanksgiving. Even an atheist, if they are accepting of other people’s beliefs, can wish a Christian a Happy Thanksgiving.

(And, wait for it... from under their rock comes the League of the Perpetually Offended... you could have put money on it.)

Reader Comment:  Since Thanksgiving is a secular and not a religious holiday, I fail to see what being Christian or atheist or anything else has to do with wishing someone a happy Thanksgiving.

My Answer:  History is a terrible thing to waste:  "It began as a day of giving thanks and sacrifice for the blessing of the harvest and of the preceding year. ... Although Thanksgiving has historical roots in religious and cultural traditions, it has long been celebrated as a secular holiday as well." — Wikipedia

What is one definition of life you agree with?

“Cogito, ergo sum” (“I think, therefore I am.”) - René Descartes

How do I make my team follow my decision?

I have never made my team do anything I haven’t done or was not willing to do myself. Team members must respect the team leader if there is to be any cohesiveness and success. But, when you’re wrong, you’re wrong. Own your errors in judgment and applaud those team members who have better ideas. One day those team members might be your second. You might also consider the old adage, "Work hard, play hard."

“As a leader, I am tough on myself and I raise the standard for everybody; however I am very caring because I want people to excel at what they are doing so that they can aspire to be me in the future.”

-- Indra Nooyi, former CEO of PepsiCo

How do I spend time alone, when no one wants to show up?

If it is important to you, I think I’d spend my time alone contemplating why “no one wants to show up.”

What can I love about you right now?

What isn’t to love? I am “cute,” after all. If I had to choose, however, I strive to be happy always. It is a humble goal that I strive for constantly. 

“Life gets so much easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got” do you agree?

I have said it many times. Hate can eat you alive. It is so much easier to forgive those who don’t feel they warrant it and to accept the apology you know you’ll never receive from them. I had to do this with my ex-wife so I could move on with my life and strive to be happy always.

“In this life, when you deny someone an apology, you will remember it at time you beg forgiveness.”

-- Toba Beta, author, economist, poet

What goes through your mind each time you go out in public?

Is my zipper up?

Is 9 months too soon to leave a depressing work environment with no growth?

No. You should have left the “depressing work environment with no growth” the minute you realized this. Why waste valuable time trying to make a purse out of a sow's ear? It might look like a purse, but… hell no. Better to move on and hope for better. Strive to be happy always! 

What is the only question in the world?

I beg to disagree. “Why?” is the only question in the world. You are probably wondering why? This would be my point, yes?

“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”

-- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900), philosopher

What is the most profound thing you have learned?

Be happy always, because the alternative simply sucks.

If you a woman with an accomplished career, would you marry a man you've had a crush on since high school, but has a lower income than you, or a wealthier man you don't like as much?

Gee, love just never entered into this. How about marrying the man you love? You know, the one who accepts you, and loves you, for who you are and expects the same courtesy.

Why are the guys at my particular college so rude to women? This never happened to me in high school, and guys in my friends' universities seem nice.

Don’t concern yourself with things you don’t or cannot control. You’re at college to learn. If you want to date, go visit your friends… where the “nice” guys hang out.

“Don’t ever stray from yourself, in order to be close to someone that doesn’t have the courtesy to remind you of your worth or the integrity of a gentleman to walk you home.”

-- Shannon L. Alder, inspirational author

How far can you go for the one you love?

If they truly love you, they’ll never ask. If you truly love them, never far enough.

What are some useful things you know?

The airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow is around 20.1 miles per hour. Granted, it isn’t very useful, but it is a very interesting piece of useless information. But, then, I'm a bit over in left field. 

What happens between two people who love differently? Do they survive or separate?

It would depend much on how accepting they are of each other's differences. If one thinks love is having an “open” relationship, this might not sit well with one who craves commitment.

"Because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have."

-- Unknown

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

More Questions on Life and Love

 

How do you know if you are living on borrowed time?

Anytime you dare to defy death, you’re living on borrowed time. If you do it constantly, the debt multiplies. Sooner or later death will come to collect, but if you defy death constantly, chances are death will collect the debt sooner than later.

When you hear someone say “the old rules don’t apply anymore”, what’s the first thought that springs to mind?

I’ve just given “the talk” to the unit I just took over.

Who wins at life?

Those people who learn to be happy always!

“If you are still alive and in your right senses, you are still destined to win greatly in life.”

-- Edmond Mbiaka, self-help writer

How do I gain love back from my husband after I repeated cheating and having BPD?

Hey, let’s be honest, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks (no pun intended). If you’re a repeat cheater you must find some excitement in it. Will you do it again? Honestly? This is the issue he, your husband, probably refuses to come to grips with. And you have BPD, not that it's your excuse for cheating. 

What is the impact on our life to listen to a Motivational Speaker?

If they’re any good at what they do, they motivate me. Is this a trick question?

When does a phrase have a hidden meaning?

I’m not sure what you mean…

“Eyes fascinate me! They have always enamored me. From the beginning of my writing days, my initiation happened with the eyes of people around me. Knowingly or unknowingly, being a writer, I started getting involved in looking into the eyes of people I meet. This became an obsession with me! I would stare into the eyes of people. This has transformed into research for me. I look into eyes and fathom the inner thoughts of the person. The look in the eyes gives me ideas about the hidden meanings. The hidden thoughts and feelings of people I meet reveal myriad things about the person. The eyes reveal a cornucopia of unsaid things. The innocence, the flirtations, and the naughtiness all emanate from the eyes.”

-- Avijeet Das, author

This Thanksgiving seems a lot harder for many with all that is going on…how do you personally practice gratitude during hard times?

I buy groceries for the local soup kitchen and, like every other day, I strive to stay happy always. It isn’t hard to have gratitude when God gifts you another glorious day in paradise and another chance to excel in it. Hard times are what we make of them. Most of us like to make them harder or blame them on others. Better to just suck it up and make the best of the time you have here. 

Do more people get their news from CNN than any other source?

According to the numbers, Fox News has many more viewers than any other station. Make one wonder what the hell just happened.

What concept are you unable to wrap your head around, no matter how hard you try?

Totally understanding a concept so you can speak intelligently about it, is much different than simply “wrapping your head around” it. I think I can wrap my head around everything. Well, let me recant that. I have a hard time wrapping my head around the League of the Perpetually Offended. I mean, really? Do they have to be offended about every little thing? They’re even offended if they can’t explain why they’re offended. They're the atheist that insists people of faith need to prove God.  They have no concept of the definition of faith.  The onus of proof is upon those without faith.  Even with them, however, I have wrapped my head around the fact I can’t please them, so I don’t even try. 

“The only true thoughts are those which do not grasp their own meaning”

-- Theodor W. Adorno (1903-1969), philosopher, sociologist, psychologist

What's an absolute truth that athletes never want to hear?

You suck. No, I mean, you really suck! Maybe you should consider a career in real estate.

What quotes can you share today?

“Whatever happens in your life, no matter how troubling things might seem, do not enter the neighborhood of despair. Even when all doors remain closed, God will open up a new path only for you. Be thankful!”  -- Elif Shafak 

How do you move on from someone who is already in a new relationship?

If they’re already moving on and you’re not, you are wasting precious time and energy on someone who doesn’t appreciate you. You move on by embracing the truth of it and finding a real relationship with someone less shallow.

Is there a word or concept for a dislike of a person that results in the rejection of their ideas even if they’re right?

Abject hatred?  Perpetual offense?  The perpetual offense might be driving the abject hatred.  Better to just not judge and strive to be happy always.

Author's Comment: The word or concept I’m searching for is related to politics - where a person is so hated, all their ideas are discarded even if it is a detriment to their state or country.

My Answer: Considering the recent U.S. election, I stand by my answer. 

“Hate, it has caused a lot of problems in the world, but has not solved one yet.”

-- Maya Angelou (1928-2014), poet, civil rights activist

There is an upcoming meeting in which my boyfriend is the chairman who appointed me as a secretary but I've broken up with him for some months now because he insulted me as a foolish girl. Should I go to the meeting or not?

Go to the meeting and inform the members of the reason for your intent to resign. As members, they have a right to know. I would also inform them that, if they think your ex is full of shit, you’d be happy to stay on. Either way, they really need to know who their chairman is.  Chances are no one wants the job, so let them fight your battle.

Do we all agree?

No. What fun would that be? There would be no conflicting viewpoints. Buildings would collapse because we all agreed on the wrong way to build them. No. There must always be a modicum of dissent. We must always agree to disagree, just don't disagree perpetually.  That just make everyone else look good.

How can I be full of life and energy?

Be happy always! Get rid of all the drama you invite into your life and stop inviting it. Step away from technology and go be with people who like to have fun and laugh, constantly. Each day is a new day, gifted to us by God. Do not look the gift horse in the mouth. Go out and make the best of life.

“It doesn't matter how many people you meet in your life; you just need the real ones who accept you for who you are and help you become who you should be.”

-- Roy T. Bennett, inspirational author

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Always Questioning Time... and Time Again

 

“How did it get so late so soon?”

-- Dr. Seuss

Why do we categorize life in stages?

Because we pay way too much attention to the human construct of "time" which, most physicists might agree, does not really exist. What does exist, however, is the current moment, the “now” of life. Now is where our attention should always be. It is the ability to live between the tick and the tock of a clock. The choices and decisions we make in the now drive what occurs to us in the next moment, if it occurs, which is not guaranteed. 

If we have a need to “categorize” our life, we should keep it simple - past, present, and a possible future.  All of the moments, the “now” we have lived, are categorized as our past. The choices and decisions we make are categorized as our present, the “now” of life. What we do in the “now” has much bearing on what we categorize as our possible future, possible because any future, any “next moment,” is not guaranteed to occur.

What we define as time, is infinite reality. Reality existed before we developed the concept of time and it will continue long after we humans have died off and our awareness, of the "concept of time" we created, is no more. What we need to embrace is the theory that our existence does not end with this current life. “When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,” we will be reborn into our next assignment.

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”

-- Saint Theresa of Calcutta

When all is said and done, what really matters?

Oh, this is always so easy. What really matters, and the only thing that should ever matter, is being happy always!

What's a good question about life?

“Why?” It is the question no one has been able to answer.

Why can you live even if people disapprove of you?

Generally, because people who judge have more issues they need to pay more attention to than you do. If they disapprove, there must be some reason for the disapproval and, if it is important to you, you might want to find out why that is. If there is evidence to you that your life is shit, maybe there is something in what they say. If you are a happy camper, then you have reason to live life, to ignore them, and strive to be happy always. That will probably make them disapprove of you more, in which case they are probably members of the League of the Perpetually Offended.

“Creativity is the virtue to think differently and the strength to withstand the storm of external disapproval.”

-- J.R. Incer, author, memory expert, life coach

Can you say what your life achievements are?

Procreation, artistic ability, military service, spirituality, early retirement, and almost constant happiness. And, just about in that order. 

How do you love like a minimalist?

Minimally.  Is this another trick question?

How do I stop touching down there?

Better to first ask, why you should.

What are 10 ways to cope with stress?

Find the cause of your stress and get rid of it, meditate, exercise, socialize, find a hobby, sex, bourbon, more sex, focus more on “now” than the past or future, and, most importantly, strive to be happy always!  Did I mention sex?

“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.”

-- Amit Ray, author, spiritual master

What is the present form of "lost"?

"I am, presently, lost."  As opposed to the past, "I was lost."  Or, the future form, "I plan to be lost."  Is this another trick question, or did I miss it completely?

What's wrong with smart goals?

Absolutely nothing. “Smart” goals are intelligent goals that have been thought out. Always hope for the best, but be sure to plan for everything else. Oh, wait, you mean SMART goals... Not a clue.

What should I do if my girlfriend wants me to move to another state?

I assume you mean, with her. Otherwise, she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend anymore. You need to ask yourself why you would do this. Does she love you that much? Do you love her that much? What does it mean for your life? What will you have to change?

The big question here is love. You both need to understand the commitment issue and be comfortable with it and, most importantly, if it doesn’t work out. Make sure you both can part friends with a “no harm, no foul” attitude - no anger.

All this being said, I’d make the usual list of pros and cons to see how it will really affect your life.

Writer's Comment:  I don’t want to move, and my whole life is here in Alaska. I’ve got a great job that pays almost 6 figures with room for advancement. My family is here and my friends, my volunteer organizations, everything.  She says she wants to leave her home and all of her family but she doesn’t want to be here cause it’s too cold. She sprung this on me after she claimed to be okay with moving to Alaska.

My Answer:  It sounds like all the decisions are hers to make. You have way too much on the side of staying.

“If we commit ourselves to one person for life, this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather, it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession but participation.”

-- Madeleine L'Engle (1918-2007), writer, author, poet

Considering you only live once, why say no?

Because you’ll regret it when you die and find out the “only live once” is wrong.

What is meant by saying that "We have to experience the world"?

Taking a vacation to somewhere else isn’t really experiencing the world. Having served in the military, immersing yourself in another person’s culture is really experiencing the world. The majority of us sit on our collective asses at home and think we know what’s good for the world when we can’t even know what’s good for ourselves. We hold signs asking for money while a leper in South Asia really knows what it is to need compassion. We should all be lucky enough to truly experience the world around us and, then, we can judge what we do here a bit better.

What is the purpose of life if there's nothing to care for or do or achieve? I've already lost everything.

I also lost everything, in my divorce. I gave her everything I owned. I gave her my children. I thought about giving her my life. My life? Someone who cared so little for me?  Who already had everything else of mine?  I was going to give her my life? Well, this was a stupid thought, and I’d already had my fair share of stupid thoughts.

Life is all about choices and decisions. Through good choices and decisions, we will hopefully arrive at good consequences. It took some time, but I finally recognized that losing everything was not her fault, it was mine. I made a bad choice, her, and followed it up with a bad decision, to marry her. It took me 20 years to realize there was no saving a marriage that was dead on delivery. It was time for me to bury the desiccated corpse that was my failed marriage, and get on with what life I had left.

Yes, I lost everything, by my own choice. I rebuilt my life, almost from the ground up, with the help of good friends and family. In five years I was back on top of the world. But, I brought with me valuable lessons: Life is everything, so never give it up without a fight. Forgive those who have wronged you, even if they don’t hear you. Learn to accept the apology you know you’re never going to get. Get rid of all the drama you invite into life,  by your own choices, and strive to be happy always.

You have your life, so care for that above all else. The purpose of life is life. Hell on earth is when you shoot yourself and wake up at the same moment with the gun in your hand. How many times do you have to die before you change your choice and make a different decision?  Get off your ass and stop wallowing in the pit of self-pity.  Find something to care for, do, or achieve.  Life is about living, so try starting with that.

“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.”

-- Roy T. Bennett, inspirational author

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Questioning Goodness?

"Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love." 

-- Saint Teresa of Calcutta (1910-1997)

Is there really such a thing as someone or something that is too good?

I used to think so, but I always found something better. Nothing can ever be too good. If they are, they’re usually too good to be true.

Is there anything you use to do very well but now you can't quite get it right? For example, I use to be really good at doing hair, especially my own. Now I struggle. Why is that?

Nope. Everything I used to suck at, I still suck at, and everything I did well I still do well. The one thing I really sucked at was being happy always, but since my divorce, I have learned how to be this… always.

How do you motivate an underperforming team?

I would start by asking the team why they’re underperforming. If they’re “underperforming” they risk losing their jobs. If you’re the supervisor/manager, they risk losing your job. If the team is “too big” perhaps “thinning the herd” is in order, followed by a raise for those who take up the slack. And, there is always profit-sharing, which seems to teach a team how to police itself and keep the performance up.

"The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude!"

-- Unknown 

How can you relate the parable you like the most to your present life?

John 8:4–11

4 they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. 5 Now in the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” 6 This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. 7 And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. 9 But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. 10 Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”

People who dare to judge need to clean their own house first, and then consider the hypocrisy they evidence. As for me, I am a self-proclaimed hypocrite and, therefore, have no issue calling out other hypocrites for their stance on murdering the innocent who cannot protect or speak for themselves. This puts me constantly at odds with the League of the Perpetually Offended.

What should I say instead of “I have no idea”?

"Uh… got me." 

Which is more important, my freedom or your life?

For my 23 years of military service, I volunteered to risk my own life for the freedom of others. Your question, however, might be better if you asked yourself, “Which is more important, my life or the freedom of others.” How you answer might say much about who you are, which should be much more important to you than who I am.

How do I come out as bi and transgender to my mom?

“Come out” in front of her, dressed to the teeth as the opposite gender.

“Make no mistake, hiding one's true self away in a closet and creating a facade of heterosexuality is not without its consequences. It may appear to have a degree of safety but from my experience they are very unhealthy places and do all kinds of terrible things to individuals psychologically, emotionally and behaviourally.....to say nothing of projection. The damage of the fear, shame, guilt and self-loathing that exist inside a closet are often reflected unknowingly in the external life of the individual. In or out of the closet; there is a price to pay. Each individual must weigh up the consequences of honesty, openness, secrecy and deception for themselves. Coming out, for most of us, is like an exorcism that releases us of the darkness we have lived in for years and caused us to believe awful things about ourselves. On the other side of the looking glass are freedom, light and life.”

-- Anthony Venn-Brown, author, evangelist

Do we need to be the ultimate sources of our actions to be responsible for them?

If the actions are “our actions,” as you stated, then it was our choice, our decision, to take the action. Whether we are the ultimate source, or not, it is always our choice to ignore an order or action because it violates our personal code of ethics. 

If you have inspired someone with your words of encouragement, does that mean they like you on some level?

That would depend on how self-centered they are. But, inspiring someone should be a selfless act. One would hope you inspired others with no expectation of someone liking you for it. Live for the sake of living, teach for the sake of teaching, inspire for the sake of inspiration. Life is about choices and decisions, so others must make the choice to be inspired or not, to be encouraged, or not. Your path continues, regardless of their choice. If they’re inspired, you’ve already moved on.

What's that one thing no one ever wants to hear?

Oops!

“No one wants to hear this but sometimes the person you want most is the person you're best without.”

-- Unknown

Should a 3-year-old go to a funeral?

At three years of age do they really have a concept? If they don’t, the decision is up to the parent to make them aware of a specific reality they may not be ready to comprehend, much less handle emotionally. Personally, I think three is much too young, not to go, but to handle the emotional burden of the explanation. Now, a wedding? Better for them to learn how to party down.

Do you ever complain that there’s nothing on TV?

Constantly. Moreso, that there is nothing “intelligent” on TV. Reality TV? Really? Like everyone doesn’t have enough of their own drama without inviting more into their pity party? I’ve been sticking to Science, Discovery, History, and Travel as my go-to when nothing else is available.

What are some creative ways to fall apart?

Why would one want to willingly fall apart? The desire is a little off. The idea of coming up with more “creative ways” to fall apart, is most concerning. If life is all about learning lessons, and the lessons are all about making choices and decisions, then you should be concentrating on making good ones and striving to be happy always.

“When you feel as if your whole world is falling apart, this is actually the beginning of it being put back together, the way it was supposed to be in the first place.”

-- Christine E. Szymanski, writer

How do you manage the human relations of your teammates at a distance?

They’re your teammates, not your children. You can show concern but, truth be known, their relations, their choices, and decisions, are none of your business. Your concern might be viewed negatively.

I met her two days ago can I propose to her?

You don’t even know her. What, are you nuts? No! She could be a serial killer for all you know. 

Why does my boyfriend have trust issues? We've been together for 5 years.

Trust, or commitment? Two different issues. I think if you’ve been together that long, he has trust. Commitment, and the responsibility it entails, might scare the bejesus out of him, though. Better to sit down and have this conversation with him. Honesty can works wonders for both of you.

“If we commit ourselves to one person for life, this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather, it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession but participation.”

-- Madeleine L'Engle (1918-2007), writer, poet, author

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Questioning Success and Change

“Do not let the memories of your past limit the potential of your future. There are no limits to what you can achieve on your journey through life, except in your mind.”

-- Roy T. Bennett, inspiration author

How do you ask for encouragement?

Probably the only good thing about being your own person, knowing yourself, is your lack of need for the encouragement of others. My dad, bless his soul, was not a good father in that respect, so I was always left being my own encouragement. I failed much but, finally, I got my legs under me. I don’t ask for encouragement, I ask for assistance. I am pretty good at owning my shortcomings and seeking the assistance of those better qualified. I watch and I learn. My experience in a corporate setting is if you constantly seek encouragement you will constantly find yourself seeking encouragement. Become your own person. Be happy with who you are and own your honesty when you need assistance, and then learn. If not now, then when?

How do I get people to apply to be a contributor to my space?

Don’t make them apply. People hate to apply. I think it makes people feel less than you like you’re judging them. I have been blogging for over seven years and I ask everyone to comment or give constructive criticism. Those that can’t be constructive get the ax. These are, usually, the ”League of the Perpetually Offended” who seem to be always after me for one reason or another. Ask everyone to contribute, but lay down your very short list of common-sense guidelines. Good luck!

What are some life-changing things I did yesterday?

Uh… I don’t know what you did, or how it changed your life. Tell me. Is this a trick question, or do you think I'm stalking you?

“Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

-- Rob Siltanen, advertising CEO 

What immediately changed your day from good to awful?

Other than death, I locked myself out of the house and my girlfriend was at work. Without my keys, wallet, or money, I sat around cursing and laughing at myself over my stupidity for several hours. A waste of my day. I felt awful until I settled down, then I realized my mom had a spare key right next door. I spent the next several hours cursing and laughing at myself over my stupidity until my girlfriend got home so she could laugh with me.

Reader Comment:  Yes, it can happen. We have a spare key under the brick outside the house in our garden flower bed. I put it in a plastic bag to save it from rust.

My Response:  And, now, everyone knows where it is.

Would life be better if we didn't live by the construct of time?

Yes and no. Time gives a structure to our reality. Unfortunately, it is also a cause of heart disease, high blood pressure, stress, frustration, unhappiness, and such. There is never enough of it. Would we be better off? Perhaps, but we’d never know when to start and we’d always be late. That and her husband might come home earlier than expected.

How do you rescue yourself if you are in danger?

I throw myself a life-preserver. The trick is to make good judgment calls so you never find yourself in that predicament. I do not skydive. I do not free-climb. I do not go for a stroll through burning buildings. I do not live above the second floor. I do not have pythons for pets. I do not cheat with another man’s wife. Basically, I don’t do anything that can get me killed. Sooner or later luck simply runs out. I’d rather live to be a ripe old age being happy always.

“Devotion to self is necessary. First, place the mask on yourself and breathe deeply. Then help the others. If you don’t save yourself, they will die.”

-- Dan Groat, author

 What object is very precious to you, but lives with someone else?

My previous life. I had to give it to my ex-wife.

Consider the following ideas: Activist, hunger, corruption, heartless ruler, technology-savvy, mediocrity, success, confidence, modular learning, synchronous. What are their commonalities and distinctions?

Take “success” out of the mix and my first blush was socialism or communism, neither of which has ever been really successful due to the hunger, corruption, and heartless rulers.

Why can you live, even if the world is not good?

Life is about making the right choices and decisions. It is about learning from the choices and decisions we make. Why we live is a choice each of us must make to continue to rise above our circumstances and do better in our lives. Do not dwell over things for which you have little or no control, like the world. Focus on your little piece of it and, when you have controlled that, expand your circle of influence. Most importantly, strive to be happy always.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

-- Leo F. Buscaglia (1924-1998), author, motivational speaker, professor

How important is one's childhood experience in determining their success as an adult?

I don’t think the experience is as important as how the child deals with the experience. Good or bad, if the child learns the lessons of what they, or others, go through in life, they will be better prepared to deal with situations that might hold them back from being successful. This takes good parenting which, unfortunately, is lacking in almost every social and economic level in society. Politically, this is why cowards congregate together, riot, burn down stores, loot, and attack people from behind. They have no good social or moral values.

Where are normal people from?

Define normal. 

What does the quote, "Life changes fast. Life changes in the instant. You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends,” mean?

Change is the only true constant in the universe. The past is gone and the future may not arrive. As each moment ends, your life up to that moment is just a memory. Moment to moment, your life is constantly changing with everything else that is constantly changing.  All we really have is now, this moment, now this moment, and now this one, and so on.  This is why it is so very important to be happy always.

How does it feel to be the best at work?

You’re always walking the cusp of failure. You are constantly tasked with weighing your ethics against the job and whether the job is worth the cost of being the best if it requires questioning your ethics. Better to just do the job the best you can and not worry about being the best. Enjoy what you do and assist others in their success. If your ethics allow you to rise, so be it. Better to just be happy always.

“Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Do not bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.”

-- William Faulkner (1897-1962), author, writer

What was that moment in your life when you said enough is enough and you learned to stop standing on ceremony? In other words, when did you learn to put an end to other's needs before your own?

My second tour in military intelligence when someone repeated, for the umpteenth time, “It’s the way we’ve always done it.” Intelligence, really? How about we think outside the box, for once, and really do the job we’re being paid for? I showed them the better way, which was contrary to the regulation, and then set about changing the regulation. It wasn’t that hard. Most things, not rocket science, aren’t.

What are the 3 things that make life worth living?

Good bourbon, good food, and great sex. When you get older and sex falls to the side, being happy always is a great replacement.

How do I grow as a person and be as perfect as I can?

You asked the question, you are as perfect as you can be. Now, you can grow as a person. Have a moral sense of ethics, and hold them dear. Treat others well. Live life fully. Be happy always.

My mom asked me what I wanted since I help her out, but I don't know what I want. Do you have any suggestions?

She gave you life. Tell her you helped her because you love her, not because she owes you any more than she’s already given you. Then, smile and give her a big hug.

“From her thighs, she gives you life
And how you treat she who gives you life
Shows how much you value the life given to you by the Creator.
And from seed to dust
There is ONE soul above all others --
That you must always show patience, respect, and trust
And this woman is your mother.
And when your soul departs your body
And your deeds are weighed against the feather
There is only one soul who can save yours
And this woman is your mother.
And when the heart of the universe
Asks her hair and mind,
Whether you were gentle and kind to her
Her heart will be forced to remain silent
And her hair will speak freely as a separate entity,
Very much like the seaweed in the sea --
It will reveal all that it has heard and seen.

This woman whose heart has seen yours,
First before anybody else in the world,
And whose womb had opened the door
For your eyes to experience light and more --
Is your very own MOTHER.
So, no matter whether your mother has been cruel,
Manipulative, abusive, mentally sick, or simply childish
How you treat her is the ultimate test.
If she misguides you, forgive her and show her the right way
With simple wisdom, gentleness, and kindness.
And always remember,
That the queen in the Creator's kingdom,
Who sits on the throne of all existence,
Is exactly the same as in yours.
And her name is,
THE DIVINE MOTHER.”

-- Suzy Kassem, writer, poet, philosopher

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as a chaplain at the regional medical center.