Tarnished Armor

"You can't make a woman love you if she don't."  

-- Anonymous

Is it the feeling of self-betrayal when you get close enough to suddenly realize your knight’s “shining armor” is a bit tarnished; that “Mr. Perfect” is flawed?  Is it when your hopes of finding someone more perfect than you, melt away to reveal just another human being with frailties of their own?  Or, is it when you suddenly step back from all the noise to realize they've been screaming how “they aren't all that,” and you know it's probably true, they aren't?  It always helps, though, when they're trying to make you understand they aren't what you hope they are. 

Self-betrayal is the feeling you get when you realize you have been in engaged in selective ignoring; hearing and seeing only that which fills in the perfect picture you want to see.  Does any of this make it wrong?  No.  It makes it all part of the ongoing tragic comedy we call life, and it isn't nearly as interesting from the cheap seats as it is from the orchestra section, and it is even better if you’re on stage and involved.  

Women aren't alone in this, oh no!  Men suffer from the same distorted perceptions when it comes to looking for the "perfect" woman.  Save the cost of buying that sports car at sixty as it won't help.  Everyone can see that you're a sixty year old adolescent hoping that you can get it up if a woman says yes.  Take the money and a woman your own age, and book a cruise to the South Seas.  She might not love you in the manner you're hoping for, but if she can dance and carry on intelligent and interesting conversation, what the heck!  If she's a close friend, life is almost perfect.    

Even Don Quixote had issues.  He was a man looking for honor, love, and excitement, and chivalry, all the while fruity as a bat cake.  At the end we learn so many lessons from this story; lessons about expectations, judging books by their covers, and unrequited love.  The lesson we learn about tilting at windmills, as we do battle with those things that exist only in our minds.

I see myself longing for the knights of Arthurian legend and realizing, instead, we all have much more Alonso Quixano, don Quixote de la Mancha, in us.  We all tend to view our world with distorted perception, striving to realize more than we are, only to discover, if we are lucky, we always have been.  

You can try to be something you aren't, or imagine yourself to be something you are.  If the armor is a bit tarnished, do we need to look for one that isn't?  "He, who is without sin," are few and far between whereas "people in glass houses" are a dime a dozen.  Most of us are flawed, and some of us are tilting at windmills.  Who among us is really that perfect?  Maybe "Mr. Right" isn't a white knight after all.  Maybe he has a bit of color; a chink in the armor; a slight imperfection we call "being human."

So, I think maybe we could learn that, when your "knight in shining armor" has a touch of tarnish or a chink in the armor, it might mean they've been tilting at windmills.  Are they perfect?  Absolutely not.  Who is?  But, they are probably more colorful and much more interesting to be around.  Love, if it's there, will find a way.  If not, then have one hell of a time while it lasts and enjoy the life you have this time around.  Maybe next life will be different.

"Mr. Right is coming, but he's in Africa, and he's walking!"

-- Author unknown