Questioning Rules, Liars, Seriously, Perfection, Sex, and Religion

“Once you clear the minds of the people of this misconception and enable them to realize that what they are told is religion is not religion, but that it is really law, you will be in a position to urge its amendment or abolition.”

-- Bhimrao Ramji Ambedkar

Why don’t even the so-called educated people follow civic rules in India?

India's caste system is a social hierarchy that has existed for at least 3,000 years. 3000 years? And the “so-called educated people” are going to change overnight? Try to be realistic. 

What would be the best revenge against old "school" bullies?

Having dealt with bullies in my young life, there is no ‘revenge” you can do that won’t put karma against you. Revenge is as wrong as the wrong they did to you. They have either learned their lesson from karma, or they haven’t learned it… yet. Learning to let bullies alone, will cause them, later in life, to reflect on what they did. If they don’t, then karma will continue kicking their ass until they learn. Let them go, and you should live a good life.

Would a 70-year-old feel like a kid, compared to a 100-year-old person?

As a 70-year-old, yes. I hope to make it 30 more years, to 100.

Why do I get angry, cry, and upset about everything wrong around me?

You have "no clue" that, what it is, it is. Whether you know about it or not, let it go. Like everything else that is wrong, that you can't change, let it go. If you can’t make it right, then let it go. Your emotions will not help the situation.

Why does every man cheat?

Not “every man” cheats.

What is the importance of trust, respect, and honesty in a marriage?

Marriage is supposed to be based on the importance of trust, respect, honesty, fidelity, and friendship. If any of these are not in play, how good is the marriage? My ex-wife had no clue of this. It is why I am still single, even though my girlfriend and I have been together for over 20 years. She understands, and we have a great relationship.

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”

-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Is Trump nothing but a liar?

That’s what the lying liberals say. One has to do their due diligence, to find out the truth.

What psychology book changed how you view the world?

I majored in Psychology in college, and most of the books validated my view of the world. They helped to put everything into context. I had everything of my “life emotions” in my head, but I needed something to put all of it in order. The books helped me to do this.

What can make a marriage last?

Fidelity and a strong friendship.

Is it true that you won't die until it's your time?

Everyone dies when it is their time. Whether by accident, disease, old age, or any other reason, it is understood as your time to go. For those who believe in the “next great adventure,” you will be reborn into another life. Lucky us!

Is it possible for me to be intellectually smart, and not academically smart?

Yes. Welcome to the club.

What are some common reasons for the failure of relationships? Is rushing into marriage a contributing factor?

Rushing is one reason. Not being strong friends, is another. And, not understanding true love, contributing to infidelity, is my favorite.

Reader comment: Apologies for dropping this here, but it feels too great to visit your timeline. I always enjoy what you share here on [this site]. Thank you.

“You have certain ideas about what should happen... expectations. And if life is not moving that way, something is wrong. Nothing is going wrong! Life is going on its own, only you have some fixed ideas. So drop those fixed ideas. Life is never going to follow you... you have to follow life. So if it is muddled, be muddled. What can you do?”

-- Osho

How are Americans doing that they do not take things so seriously/personally? They seem to always have some sort of distance to the things, and don't let the things eat them up (I ask cause I wanna be like them because I take everything too seriously and personally)?

It is what it is, and emotion won’t make it any better or worse. The only thing most of us take quasi-seriously is politics, and only then if one party constantly lies.

Is Clint Eastwood a humble, quiet, modest person?

Yes.

Did you have sex with him just to make him happy even though you didn't want that?

If you did, you are submissive. His happiness is no more important than yours. If you decide to have sex with him, make sure that you want to experience the possibility of having multiple orgasms with him. If this is not in your wheelhouse, then don’t have sex with him. It is a choice you have to make.

Does it hurt to be as stupid as you?

No. I take it as a natural personality trait. As long as I’m more intelligent than you, I’m doing pretty good.

What is the reason why you want to be perfect?

Nothing is perfect. Even God makes mistakes. I strive to be excellent, however.

How can a good decision be reached when everyone has a reason why another person's reason should not be taken for a crucial decision?

You need to argue your point. Your point must be, in the end, acceptable to the majority. Everyone has a reason, but your reason must be the point everyone can agree on.

“Don't raise your voice, improve your argument."

-- Desmond Tutu

If perfection is impossible, is it still possible to be completely satisfied?

Indeed. You must strive to be “excellent” and be satisfied with your accomplishment.

How do I get an ex-love?

Get rid of the love you have. They will then be your “ex-love.” Or, you can find a person that has done this exercise, and strike up a relationship with the “ex-love” they have tossed aside. Either way, you end up with an “ex-love.”

Can I find someone who will love me back?

Yes, but you need to put some work into dating. It may take some time.

If you love your wife well, will your wife be happy?

Not if your wife likes to sleep around with other men… or women. You can only hope your spouse will be as happy in the marriage as you are. Marrying your best friend, confidant, and the love of your life, that you can’t even think of living without, always helps.

What is a more suitable word than 'wedding' for proposing marriage?

Uh... How about marriage? “Will you marry me?” Is this a trick question?

Why is my wife not satisfied?

You aren’t trying hard enough? You might think about asking her, what the problem is. She might want a little excitement in the marriage. She might have some wants you can’t imagine, and she should have discussed it before the marriage. My point is, you won’t find out by asking us. Ask her. She is the only one who knows for sure.

“Perhaps they assumed that he would have a hard time putting her first. Perhaps they had not understood that for a long time she had come first with him, that for many years she had been his heart's home and his mind's anchor and that fighting to keep her alive was essential to preserving his own soul.”

-- Rafael Yglesias

How can I find a man to [have sex with] my wife?

Ask around your friends. Someone has, probably, thought about the possibility.

Is religious education essential for developing good morals and values, even in a highly secular society like the UK?

Not necessarily. We tend to put the responsibility on God to help us raise our children. A good upbringing, focussed on by good and upstanding parents, can develop good morals and values in a child, without the help of religion. Religion, a belief in a deity, should be a decision the child should make as they grow to round off their education. 

Why do I love big, gorgeous, sexy women?

Uh… Because they’re big, gorgeous, and sexy? That would work for me.

My wife said she’ll divorce me if I vote for Trump. What should I do?

Divorce her. She is trying to control you. The next thing you know, she’ll have you submissive to her every whim. This can be fun, but not when it takes away the reality of your freedom of thought. Again, threaten to divorce her, and explain why.

My wife wants to sleep with her ex, what should I do?

Accept it, or divorce her. This is a problem that won’t go away.

Is moral philosophy relevant to atheists?

Moral philosophy was a product of religion. However, the moral philosophy stands, whether religion is present or not. Many atheists practice moral philosophy to live a good, structured life. Many will deny the roots of the philosophy, but it matters more that they adhere to it, than admit where it originated.

“The state of a moral man is one of tranquillity and peace; the state of an immoral man is one of perpetual unrest.”

-- Marquis de Sade

What is more important than religion?

Having a good moral character you can stand beside. If you can do this without religion you are in a choice group. Even those with religion have a tough time toeing the line. Being good all the time is a tough hobby.

Life completely sucks. Do you agree?

It has its ups and downs. If you think it sucks, you aren’t trying hard enough to be happy.

What's the point of life if you're just living life to suffer?

They must like suffering… if they believe the point of living life is to suffer. Unfortunately for them, this is not the point of living life. Everyone suffers. Suffering is a string of lessons for us to learn about the ups and downs of life. The point of the lesson, however, is to learn how to live life with a minimum of suffering. If people haven’t learned this, they haven’t been paying attention to the life lessons. They need to wake up.

Is there a universal view on morals and ethics among atheists? If not, what factors contribute to the differences in their views?

Yes.

Why do we shame people for their stupid behavior if they can’t help being stupid?

Not everybody does this “shaming” of people, with a lack of intelligence. You say “we” as if you are part of it. It is better to help those with less intelligence than to ridicule them. Those with less intelligence do the menial jobs that others won’t do. Showing them a bit of courtesy might be the better part of valor.

How can my friend have gonorrhea when he has never had sex outside of marriage and his wife is not unfaithful?

One of the two is full of shit. Hell, it could be both of them.

“Life is a disease: sexually transmitted, and invariably fatal.”

-- Neil Gaiman

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com