Questioning Pride, Children, Motivation, Happy, Gorillas, and Cheating

 

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”

-- E.E. Cummings

What was wrong with don't ask and tell if you want to? Why do we need pride month? It's nothing to be proud of. It is what it is. We should have not gone beyond that.

But, we have… and there is no going back. It is what it is. We have to find a way to accept it.

Why do you think bullying is such a problem now? What can we do to stop bullying?

Find a way to tell the “bully” they are good enough, and they don’t need to bully others to prove it. They need to see that "bullying" is only showing the world they are lacking good sense. They are showing the world they are moronic. And, worse than this, the people who associate with them, are viewed the same way.

How can people wake up if they don't see the truth?

The entire point of “waking up” is to see the truth.

What would your reaction be if someone had made a Facebook page calling you a bully, for bullying them in the past with your full name and surname on it?

First of all, they are full of shit. I have never bullied anyone. So, if they did this, they would be bullying me, themselves. This is the entire point they are trying to make… and failing. They become what they dislike.

What could the repercussions of making a Facebook page labeling someone a bully for bullying you in the past with their full name on it?

They have become what they hate.

How stupid am I compared to you?

The fact that you haven’t learned what I have, doesn’t make you stupid. It makes you ignorant of what I have learned. I am not very intelligent, but I am pretty smart. I say this with all humility. I am sure there are things you know, that I have not learned.

“I feel sorry for anyone who is in a place where he feels strange and stupid.”

-- Lois Lowry

Why are my children very stupid?

Unfortunately, the usual answer is, "The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree."

Why are people so stupid when it comes to politics? 

Acting like simpletons, they believe everything they are told. Instead of doing their due diligence, they listen to their usual news channel telling them what they want to believe. It is how we got saddled with Joe Biden and a country he is selling down the Rio Grande.

For successful people who love their job, I want to ask: How did y'all find the right career for yourself?

U.S. Air Force. After 23 years, if you don’t know what you want to do... you’re lost.

Why do people respect more educated people in society than uneducated people?

I would respect an uneducated person who climbed above their “station” using "street smarts." It would take a lot of moxie to pull that off. 

Do you have an alternative saying to "it is what it is"?

It’s reality.

What is the definition of an idiot, and why are so many people considered idiots?

A stupid person, or a person of low intelligence. It isn’t that so many people are idiots, they just act like idiots. They act like idiots when they should be minding their Ps and Qs.

 

“Don't be afraid of being scared. To be afraid is a sign of common sense. Only complete idiots are not afraid of anything.”

-- Carlos Ruiz Zafón

In what ways can the experiences and triumphs of others serve as a source of motivation in our personal journeys?

There are different ways to learn. In this case, you can learn from their lessons.

Question for men: what makes a man "feel" in love with a woman, esp. one's wife? The kind of love that produces monogamy and makes you not really notice other women? We all know that infatuation fades in a relatively short period.

Unfortunately, for some time we have been experiencing a great uptick in divorce. And it isn’t all the man’s fault. Women have been having affairs, almost, as much as the man has. We marry because we think we are in love, but love and friendship go hand-in-hand. The “infatuation” with your ”mate” fades as the relationship becomes comfortable, for one side or the other. The lack of a strong friendship, which should have existed, will send one party looking for some sexual satisfaction. We don’t look for strong friendships in our relationship, much anymore.

Reader comment: Excellent point about friendship, and how the current "hook-up culture" short circuits that.

What are some ways to handle a bully who is introverted?

Befriend them.

I hate my life with my husband. I am trying to live with him for the sake of my daughter. What should I do?

If you hate your life with your husband it, probably, won’t get much better. But, remember, you married him for a reason. Your daughter will be better off if you separate, or divorce. Separation will send a strong message to your husband. He might start to understand what your issues are. If he doesn’t, then divorce is the next step. 

How should one respond if their spouse says "I don't love you" or "You're not worth loving"?

File for a divorce. Nothing will save this marriage when the spouse gets this in their head.

I watched my wife getting creampied. What should I do?

Why did you watch it? This sounds more like your problem than your wife’s. Ask her what she thinks. She might agree with you but you won’t know until you discuss it with her.

 

"You can't go back to the innocence that your marriage is now once you have crossed that line. I think, in fantasy, is good, but to actually physically watch my spouse making love with another would be disturbing in many ways. They would not want to see me with another, either."

-- MilliiMoo

How does one get happy?

Strive for it. I strive to be truly happy, always and in all things, regardless of my circumstances. It is a choice I made for my life. I have been truly happy, ever since I made the choice.

Why doesn’t my wife want to touch me or communicate with me?

It would concern me that she might be having an affair that she enjoys more than me.

What kind of relationship do you have with your partner, husband, wife, or girlfriend?

She is my girlfriend of 20 years. We are good friends. I am her “caregiver” because she can’t do certain things without some help. We don’t fight, and I give her a stipend because she takes the burden of dealing with insurance off my back. I really appreciate her efforts. We have a good "give and take" relationship.

Are great leaders better at asking questions or giving answers?

If they are “great” leaders they are good at doing both.

My friends call me dumb because I come up with whacky ideas I know aren't true, like today I saw a feather and said, "Someone planted a bird." I'm just creative. How do I make them see?

That made me chuckle. If it were me, I wouldn’t concern myself with them. You are a free spirit, and I recognize my “lack of filter” in you. You say what you think. They can wrinkle their brows all they want. Just be you.

What is the meaning behind someone saying, "I think I know you"?

They “think” they know me. There is no meaning because they don’t know me.

“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.”

-- Voltaire

Why would any man date a gorilla?

I didn’t have a choice. She was bigger than I was.

Can I share my wife with my best friends?

Have you asked her opinion? And have said this, asking her may put you in divorce court. She may not have married you to be shared by your friends.

Why do I want to become a criminal?

You have the desire to do jail time. You might also desire to be Bubba’s little "go-to piece."

What differences exist between intelligence, creativity, and talent?

Creativity is spurred by any talent you possess. Intelligence may, or may not, help in this process. A chimpanzee can paint an abstract work that will sell for a bit of cash, and the chimp is not, what we would consider, intelligent.

What is the best thing that happened to you during an exam (except for knowing the answer)?

I was so happy I took the time to study.

Why is it bad for a man to like sensitive, nurturing women?

Not from my experience. It is even better if she is a bit of a “mature” woman. It allows you to have a great relationship that you might not have with a “younger” woman.

“There’s something so special about a woman who dominates in a man’s world. It takes a certain grace, strength, intelligence, fearlessness, and the nerve to never take no for an answer.”

-- Rihanna

Who is worse at cheating, him or her?

Him. She raises kids. She pays attention to the little things. A guy is a bull in a china shop.

How do you deal with feeling insignificant? Should I boost my feeling of significance or be humble?

Being humble has little to do with being insignificant. All living beings are significant. If you feel insignificant you need to count the blessings of life, to feel the significance of humility. Life is much greater than we are, and we are a significant part of life.

Does it hurt to walk away?

Oh, yes. It can hurt like hell, especially after 25 years of marriage.

My wife is gone. Will another woman love me and not leave?

After a few years of dating, being married for 25 years and a messy divorce, I was propositioned by a woman I worked with. We have been together for 20 years. Good things happen to good people.

How do you get over your wife cheating on you?

You don’t. You keep it in the back of your mind, as a reminder of a lousy marriage.

Why do men see me as "marriage material"?

“Marriage material” doesn’t mean you will be the “brass ring” for the man’s life. You are everything a man wants, he thinks. Down the road, he may change his mind, or you might change yours. “Marriage material” is a woman a man would like to get to know, for both of you to see if you are compatible. “Marriage material” means you are worth a second, third, and even a fourth look, for a guy looking for a serious relationship.

"According to the Schriver Report on the 21st Century Man, the top categories for a marriage partner are intelligent, attractive, and sweet. None of these qualities are negative, but once you get past intelligence, the others seem to lack substance."

-- Mara Bender

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com