Questioning Divorce, Weak-Minded, Stuck, Married, Agreeing, Following

“If you spend your time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to your heart, then you're allowing them to hurt you a second time in your mind.”

-- Shannon L. Alder

Have you encountered a moment, where evil attacked you and tried to harm your life?

Yes, but I divorced her.

Why can't we control a laugh when we are with friends?

Because it’s frickin funny! I chuckle at things told at the table next to us. Oh, I can control it, but why try? Some things just have to be laughed at. And, if I do control laughing out loud, I’m laughing my ass off inside.

What’s a weird talent that you have? I can (almost) fit my whole fist in my mouth.

I can do armpit farts.

What are the long-term benefits of maintaining integrity?

By definition, you will be known as an honest person with strong moral principles; a person of integrity. It may not benefit you anything, except that you will have your integrity… for the long haul. 

Can anyone ask me a yes or no question?

Yes.

How do you handle your angry spouse?

For any normal spouse, if she is angry… there must be a reason. If she doesn’t want to discuss it, I leave. If it concerns me, we can get to the root of it. If she doesn’t want to discuss it, I leave. Anger needs to come out in the open so you can get to the root of it. It is the only way you can calm the situation down. Or, you can leave.

“Anybody can become angry — that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way — that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.”

-- Aristotle

How do weak-minded people become successful in the music industry or acting industry? Is that possible? If so, how do you do it?

You hear about all the weak-minded people in those industries having breakdowns and committing suicide. If you’re weak-minded, you’ll need to become strong-minded, to deal with the schedules and stress.

Should I let an African tribe breed me to get back at my ex?

If you want an African tribe to “breed” you, don’t pin it on your ex. Go have fun.

What’s something you realized you had to change about yourself?

When I married I thought life was perfect. For 25 years I had to fight to keep the marriage together. I was miserable and not very happy. I divorced her in 2000, and I learned to be happy again. I found how to strive for true happiness always, and in all things, regardless of my circumstances. It was a simple choice, and I made it for my life.

My marriage is sexless and I'm tired of it. My husband has refused to touch me. Each time we get horny, he rejects me and it makes me use tools to satisfy myself. Should I keep a man?

You shouldn’t keep that man. There are men out here that are not a waste of your time.

Will negativity get you anywhere in this world?

No friends, a shit job, and a pit you can be miserable in with your negativity. It will get you backward.

According to the proverb, what does familiarity breed?

Familiarity breeds contempt.

“Familiarity breeds contempt and children.”

-- Mark Twain

What do you do if you’re feeling stuck?

I go fishing.

How is it loving for a guy to have sex with his girlfriend outside of marriage?

It depends if you believe in the sanctity of marriage. My son doesn’t, because he sees where mine ended up. But, he has been living with the same girl for years, and they are very happy.

Is it the professor’s fault or the student's, when all of his students got low scores during exams?

He is either a lousy teacher or his students are morons.

Do you consider yourself very good-looking?

Not a bit. I’m overweight and balding, but that has not stopped good-looking women from hitting on me. My personality is what draws them in. Even at 70 years of age, I still have the charm.

What are the reasons for cowardly behavior? Is fear the only factor or are there other reasons?

"Fear" sums it up.

I'm not happy with my marriage. What should I do?

Don’t stay in the marriage. It isn’t fair to him or you to draw this out. The sooner you end the misery, the sooner you can both get on with your lives.

“The first step to self-discovery is to be honest with yourself. Never fool your subconscious.”

-- Mwanandeke Kindembo

Is anyone completely happy being married after 20 years?

I wasn’t, but then, I was in love. It occurred to me that she really wasn’t my best friend. This turned out to be the big issue. Be in love with a good friend and your relationship will last longer.

When did you realize that there really is a talent gap?

When I almost didn’t pass art class and then sold a painting. The art teacher was an egotistical putz.

What's something you have to explain to your spouse constantly?

For 25 years of our failed marriage, I tried to explain to her that I loved her. I wanted her to expand her horizons, get a job, and meet people. I ended up destroying whatever I thought I had with her. She wasn’t the best catch, and I wasted 25 years of my life. Live and learn, always.

If my partner states that they want to break up, and I express that I don't want that for us and I love them, is that manipulation?

No, that’s honesty in the face of failure. If they want to break up, it’s over.

Everyone learns differently and has unique talents. Some people excel in crafts, trades, or other non-academic fields. But society seems to push the idea that going to college is the only way to succeed. Why?

Many colleges push the idea of socialist ideology. College is a great way to expand your knowledge base, but you can’t buy into all they’re selling. Be your own person, and learn what they want you to. When you graduate, you can trash the political line they wish you would accept. Go to college and play the game, but don’t lose who you are, in the process. 

Why can't we take the time to be negative?

Because it is so much better to be creative than negative about something. Find a compromise that will satisfy everyone.

“When you provide value to others and when you are not full of negativity but instead irradiate amazing positive energy; people will always come to you because they feel good around you. And when someone is walking away from you; it's because their vibration and your vibration are not synced. Rise to the top and negative people will slip away. it's law!”

-- E. Christian Trejo

 

Why do we agree to be managed by people who delivered nothing, has no actual job, and they lack any common sense or reality connection?

If they aren’t family to the owner, you can “politic” for their job.

How would you answer the question, “Why should we hire you as a cashier?”

“I’m 70 years of age. I retired from military Intelligence. I have enough money, so I don’t need yours. So, who do you feel like trusting? The 18-year-old?”

When is a good moment to say I'll be damned if I'll stand and listen to this?

If my “integrity” is called into question.

Is it truly horrible, and much worse, in your thirties compared to your late teens/twenties?

Do you mean, when a person’s hormones were raging? When you get past that, my thirties onward were pretty sedate, not counting the bad marriage.

Are fies clever or stupid?

What the hell is a “fie”?

Why do some people feel the need to tear a person to shreds when they should already know he/she has serious self-esteem issues to begin with? I'm referring to instances when criticism is invited, but it's often something said/done that is benign.

Tearing a person to shreds is never needed. A person who does this, says more about themselves than they can ever say about another person. If criticism is invited, there are ways to critique that can be constructive, rather than tearing a person to shreds. If you can’t deliver a friendly critique, it would be better that you say nothing.

 

"Never build yourself up by tearing another down." 

-- Larry Winget

 

Why do stupid people follow stupid people?

Stupid people don’t do their due diligence. Voters are the worst.

Why do the elders say, “Don't waste your time sitting in a place where you don't have respect”?

Search me. I sit where I like, People may not respect me, but that is not why I sit there. I give respect, and not getting it back says more for the other people than it does about me. “Elders” need a lesson in letting go of minutia.

Can one achieve success by flattering their supervisor?

Maybe, but sooner or later you’ll run into a supervisor who expects results, not flattery.

Do you ever wonder where all your hate comes from?

Back when I was married, I knew. When I divorced in 2000, I remembered how it felt not to feel hate. I loved her so much, and I still do. I just couldn’t live with her lies… and her “friends.” I’m kind of funny that way.

What are the problems faced by people living near the river channel?

I would think “flooding” in the rainy season, would be a big problem.

How stupid do you have to be, to be smart?

The question makes no sense. Many “smart” people are on par with many “intelligent” people. Smart people know enough concerning a plethora of things. Whereas, most intelligent people know a lot about a few things. Finding a person who is smart and intelligent, is a rarity.

 

“Why do smart people exist, if not to figure out convoluted problems?”

-- Mikhail Bulgakov

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com