Questioning Cheating, Cheating, Abuse, Negativity, Hope, and Death

 

“If I cheated on my spouse or partner, and they made the choice to stay with me regardless, I would leave that person. I will never be perceived as someone who needs a nice warm bath to come home to after rolling around outside in the grass; a coddled person, an infantile person, a person whose choices are perceived as the mistakes of a toddler, only needing to be slapped on the hand and then coddled. That would kill the relationship for me, that would kill everything. I'm not an inconsequential flower, I'm not a purified version washed down to be palatable; I am an equal. My mistakes should be treated as mistakes. I don't need forgiveness for anything that I do.”

-- C. JoyBell C.

My wife has told me she has feelings for another man. What should I do and say?

This won’t be the last time. She needs to be another man’s problem.

Should a wife know where her husband is going?

Unless the husband is going to a “clandestine” meeting, he should be upfront with where he goes. Marriage is all about being good friends and partners. There should be no secrets between you. If there is, then the marriage failed sometime back. Better get on with your own lives and find better partners.

Will I be able to find a caring and understanding husband here?

Yes, but you won’t be sure until you meet him.

Why is my husband so mean? He wonders why I’m sad. When I’m in a good mood, he tears me down.

Maybe it’s time to consider continuing the marriage. Continue in misery, or find some semblance of peace. You should discuss the options with him, and get his take on the whole marriage thing.

Is the husband in charge of his wife?

Not if they are true partners in the marriage.

Why do most women pretend as if they don’t know what a man wants?

If men believe this tripe, they deserve to be treated as the woman dictates. Most women know what the man wants. Some women act like they don’t, and some men believe them.

 

“The goddess of sex that most men had fantasized about since their teenage years wasn’t to be found in some red-light district of town or in an illicit magazine but was actually standing right next to them at work, at the library, at the coffee shop. And they were too blind to see it!”

-- Ray Smith

Have you let your wife date others?

I didn’t have to. She did it all on her own.

How do you know if a married woman has feelings for you?

When no one is looking, she will get close. She might even give you a “friendly” kiss, or go all out and grope your package. Either way, you’ll know what is on her mind.

Do unattractive women get tattoos in an attempt to distract from their looks?

Maybe, but why do attractive women get tattoos? It only detracts from their looks.

Why do Democrats think that repeating a lie over and over makes it true?

They seem to think so. Their problem is, people in their own party recognize the bullshit as repiticious lies. They become confused, and then they change parties. Who wants to be a member of a party that lies all the time? Especially when the party is destroying the country you live in.

Does an ugly man have the right to marry a beautiful woman?

That is between the ugly man and the beautiful woman. What we think has no bearing.

Why are people afraid of marriage these days?

It doesn’t work out, most of the time. Mine lasted for 25 years of hell. We had two great children, and then she lost her mind. Since then, I’ve been with my “best friend” for 20 years, and we have a great relationship. I should have married my best friend, not who I have sex with. 

 

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”

-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Why do women sometimes like to abuse men?

Why do men sometimes like to be abused by women? The spankings will commence.

Why do so many people when you ask them something, never answer it directly.  They try to give you an answer that is close to your question, but still not directly to your answer?

Because they aren’t being honest. Be honest with them and tell them that you don’t know, that your answer is close to their question, but not really, or look at them cross-eyed. You don’t have to know everything. They need to know that you have ethics, and are honest.

Why do most women think that most men these days are lustful, abusive, and likely rapists?

Unfortunately, they have a good many of us nailed. 

Why can't women tell men everything?

Some men don’t want to know. They have enough shit on their plate without knowing everything about you.

Why do people pretend to be someone they're not?

They aren’t comfortable with who they really are. 

Why do people care about me? I’ve never understood why.

Why does it matter? The fact that people care about you should make you humble. It is nice to know why, but it isn’t required. If you really need to know, you can try asking one of the people who care. They might smile back at you and give you a nonchalant kiss on the cheek. Be careful, though. They might kiss you on the lips. That will open a whole nuther can of worms.

 

“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.”

-- John Joseph Powell

Why do people push other people in a negative perspective or a negative perception when you don’t like them?

I don’t “push” anyone. I like most people I meet. If I don’t like them, I don’t hang around them. It is that simple. I certainly don’t take time out of my day to “push” them negatively, just because I don’t like them.

Why does everyone on Earth prevent me from trolling online?

Not everyone gives a shit. You're a troll... get over yourself.

Why does no one on Earth prevent me from trolling online?

Again, not everyone gives a shit. And, again, you're a troll... get over yourself.

Why do people or society get upset when you don’t like them?

They are probably upset with themselves and are trying to shift the blame over to me because of their shortcomings. If they did some personal introspection, it might clear things up. But, then, it might not. My time is too valuable to waste on their tantrum, though.

Which is the great relationship for the human being?

Love with someone special.

If you could eliminate a person or group of people, without anyone knowing, who would they be and why?

To eliminate a group would be considered genocide, which is not accepted by most good societies. It would be much better to change the mindset of the person or group than to eliminate them.

“The first time it was reported that our friends were being butchered there was a cry of horror. Then a hundred were butchered. But when a thousand were butchered and there was no end to the butchery, a blanket of silence spread.

When evil-doing comes like falling rain, nobody calls out "Stop!"

When crimes begin to pile up they become invisible. When sufferings become unendurable the cries are no longer heard. The cries, too, fall like rain in summer.”

-- Bertolt Brecht

Why do we hold so much hope for someone who will never fulfill it, even when we're certain about it?

What would we do without “hope”? Faith gives birth to hope. If people knew that we had faith in them, maybe they would work harder to bring our hope to fruition. 

Can you describe an experience where you positively channeled angry impulses? What happened? How did you respond? Did it improve your life?

My wife separated 24-plus years ago. She did what she did throughout our marriage, she saw other men. I had enough of it. I lost my mind. I did a stint at the jail, saw the judge, and was released. I contemplated suicide, but that was not me. I got a divorce, which improved my life beyond my wildest dreams. I became happier than I had ever been. 23 years later, I still carry that happiness with me.

How can having a savior complex be toxic?

If you aren’t a “savior” it can be toxic to you. You are believing that you are something that you’re not. How can this not be toxic for you? How about all the idiots that follow you?

What if the biggest problem in life is ugly people with human needs, and why can’t they be statues?

Ugly is in the eye of the beholder. You might be seen as ugly. I have seen “ugly” men with good-looking women married to them. Fortunately, this is not the “biggest problem” we face, in our world, and the women seem to recognize it. Would you volunteer to die and be a statue? I think not.

Why do many people, nowadays, instead of believing reality, choose to look for excuses?

A sad upbringing that put more emphasis on excuses instead of reality.

How many Ukrainians lives must be lost to satisfy USA and Europe politicians and corporations greed that make huge profit from the Ukrainian war?

As many lives as the Ukrainian government sees necessary to throw onto the field of battle to counter the assault by Russia. This isn't our war, but we do support Ukraine. 

(Some creative spelling and punctuation in the question, would be nice.)

 

"If there is no Ukrainian strong army, there will be no Ukraine, and that will be the case when everyone will understand... it's not the war in Ukraine, it's the war in Europe. We are defending our country, our land. We are not attacking anyone, because that is immoral."

-- Volodymyr Zelensky

 

Do you think we cease to exist when we die?

I’m a theist, so no. Atheists volunteer to permanently die, to make more room in the afterlife for theists. Bless their little hearts.

How do atheists perceive spiritual enlightenment?

They don’t think it is real. You can be enlightened, but not spiritually enlightened.

Is there a connection between 'need', 'desire', and 'greed'?

Not really. What you need is different from what you desire, and greed is when you can’t get enough of what you have even though you don’t need it.

What group of people are the most greedy? What group of people like and appreciate nature/natural experience the least? What group of people believe that they are the Chosen Ones of "God"?

For the most part, “old” money and politicians.

What is your belief about the afterlife and the existence of the soul?

There is too much evidence of hauntings and people who remember unknown facts of past lives. I have faith that an afterlife is waiting for our souls. The soul will be reborn so it can learn more. It will be reborn again, and again, and again, and so forth until it reaches the state of nirvana. 

What is the purpose of human existence, if they do not have parents who chose to have them?

They choose to have children, and they bring them up better. That will piss their parents off.

“Life sucks sometimes but it all happens for a reason and a higher purpose.”

-- Zach Merrick

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com