Questioning Response, Esteem, Suffering, Flaunting, and Knowing

 

“If the facts are against you, argue the law. If the law is against you, argue the facts. If the law and the facts are against you, pound the table and yell like hell”

-- Carl Sandburg

How can one respond to someone who is arguing with facts, without appearing defensive or rude?

They have facts, which, to begin with, makes any argument kind of stupid.

How can we know if our partner's intellectuality matches ours?

If you truly love each other, what difference does it make if your intellect matches? Love is what you need to be concerned about, not your brain pans.

How do you respond to, “Why don’t you...?”

It depends on if it makes good sense. The response might be, either, “good idea” or “no.” 

Why do people say love isn't a game?

Because it isn’t. Love is a serious emotion. If you think love is a game, you’re really feeling lust, now true love.

How do you say something is logical without saying "makes sense"?

Understanding that just because something makes sense doesn’t mean it is logical, and vice-versa. It is logical or makes sense.

For instance, it is logical to let them die, but, as people of faith, it may not make good sense. Or, it makes good sense to let them die, but logic dictates there may be a way to save them.

One does not, necessarily, follow the other.

How do I make a girlfriend happy?

It depends on what she really likes.

"I love you. And it's not because you make me happy, not because you make me feel special, nor because you're the sweetest person ever... but because I just love you. And I don't need any reasons for that."

-- Unknown

Can low self-esteem from past experiences like bullying lead to insecurity?

Ya think?

How do you tell if someone is creative or not? How does one become more creative?

They are trying something creative. If they succeed, they are creative. If they give up, not so much. To be more creative they need to try new techniques, or mediums, and expand their limited horizon.

Can you answer difficult questions without difficulty? If so, how do you do it?

Bullshit actually floats when face-to-face with a lack of intelligence.

What does it mean if someone responds with "thank you" when asked how they're doing? Does this mean they're doing well?

It means they didn’t hear the question.

What is a good response to someone saying "I'm better than you"?

“Nobody is better than me.” They may be able to do things I can’t do, but as far as being “better” than me? They will have to show their selflessness, love, and humility.

How can you win an argument with someone who doesn't listen or care about facts?

You can, but they will die before they admit you have won.

“You don’t win a debate by suppressing discussion; you win it with a better argument.”

-- Frank Sonnenberg

Is it possible to suffer without struggling?

Suffering is a struggle. Even if you get on top of it, you have to get there, and that, alone, is a struggle.

Can thinking about enlightenment prevent someone from actually achieving it?

No. Enlightenment is significantly close to attaining wisdom. Reason, individualism, and skepticism are the three major ideas of enlightenment. You need to think about it in order to reason, be skeptical, and to become an individual. Looking at everything with a “critical eye” will garner you some wisdom, as well as help in your enlightenment.

What are the differences between a person, people, and humans?

A person is one. People are more than one. And humans are the entirety of all people from Earth.

What does saying 'I'm not a bad person' imply?

They really aren’t sure if they are bad or not. Are they trying to convince others, or themselves? What you are is a reflection of how you treat those around you. Are you selfless or selfish? Do you give, take, or do nothing? Are you the light in the darkness, or do you extinguish the flame? Without a word said, “good” is as recognizable as “bad.” 

What is more important than your own self-value?

The “self-value” of those around me.

What do people mean when they say they are not bad people? Is there any truth to these statements?

Are they trying to convince me, or themselves? Either way, it puts me off. People who have to tout their own righteousness make me suspicious of them. If you are good, be good. You don’t have to discuss it. But, then, I'm a hypocrite. Do as I say, not as I do.

“The moment you feel you have to prove your worth to someone is the moment to absolutely and utterly walk away.”

-- Alysia Harris

Why do you have to flaunt helping someone? If you are just being kind, why does it matter who knows?

You don’t. “Flaunting” is not selflessness. You want other people to know what you did, for selfish reasons. If you selflessly help someone, it is enough that you and the person you helped know. If you are being kind, no one needs to know… but you. If the person you helped wants to tell others, that is his business, not yours.

What is the best way to deal with people who refuse to accept responsibility for their actions after they have hurt others deeply, and instead blame others or make excuses?

Ignore them, and tell them why, as listed.

What does lacking faith mean exactly? What happens when one lacks faith?

Faith is a belief in something for which there is little or no proof.  If you lack faith, you lack belief.  More importantly, you lack hope, because our faith gives birth to our hope. If you lack faith, you lack belief, and if you lack belief you lack hope.  When you have no hope, you are already dead.

What are the challenges of being in a relationship with someone who has different beliefs and values? How can you find someone who has the same beliefs as you?

It isn’t magic, and it requires some work. You have to get to know them. Have meaningful discussions about beliefs and values.

Has someone yelled at you for something that was their fault?

Yes, and the boss asked me about it. I told him. I reported to someone new, and the guy that yelled at me got his ass handed to him. It is beneficial for everyone to know your “personal code of ethics” that defines who you are to many people, except those dumbasses who choose to blame you for their faults.

What are some signs that you may be responsible for your own problems, rather than blaming others or even yourself?

I’ve got news for people. You are responsible for your own life, so stop blaming others.

“Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.”

-- Sigmund Freud

Why would you like to know more about me?

I don’t know. Why would I?

Why do we slap our faces when we see something stupid?

Never done that. Sounds like something stupid. I usually shake my head at the person who did something stupid, like slap their own face.

Is it true that you are an arrogant person?

Nope.

My partner has started acting mean to me and I don’t think I did anything wrong. They're not trying to communicate with me about it either. What should I do?

Break it off. No communication is bullshit from someone treating you badly when you don’t think you did anything wrong. The fact they aren’t communicating says they know you didn’t. What you should do is press the test. Give them what they want. Break it off with them.

Boss constantly threatens to fire me? What should I do?

Call his bluff. Quit.

Why do jobs always fire me and claim I work too slowly and don’t do things right? I hate myself and I suck at living life.

You probably live life just fine. What you suck at, according to your story, is work. You might want to work on that.

“If you had a person in your life treating you the way you treat yourself, you would have gotten rid of them a long time ago...”

-- Cheri Huber

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com