Questioning Truth, Quotes, Needs, Trust, and Secrets

“The best way of keeping a secret is to pretend there isn't one.”

-- Margaret Atwood

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A note to my readers: The statistics are begining to level off so, barring any noteable jump in views, this will be the last update for "The guy next door."

As stated previously, this answer was touted by the site as being "featured" in over 100,000 individual reader digests. The answer was posted on March 30, 2022, and, to date, has been viewed by over 425,100 people, and has been upvoted 5,541 times, and counting. To put this in some context, my next most viewed post has 46,200 views, with only 33 upvotes.  

For those who haven't read the question and my answer:

Did you ever get a request for a favor from a neighbor who never showed any respect or interest in you or your family? What did you do? 

The guy next door. He asked if he could cut down a rotting tree the raccoons use. Wanted to bill me $2000 for a $500 job. I told him not to touch it. He cut it down anyway, when I wasn’t around, then billed me $2000. My legal team, lawyers from Louisiana and Mississippi, both advised me to tell him to go f*** himself. You have to love Southern lawyers. I cleaned the language up and sent him a form letter concerning trespass, ignorance, and the fact that he wouldn’t be getting any money out of me. (Last lines have been updated) We don't talk, not because I'm not willing, but because he seems to think he's all that. He flies a Marine Corps flag. So far, I'm not impressed.

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When is it better if we do not know the truth?

When I’m about to die. I’d rather not know.

How do you conceal your secrets and intentions from a narcissist?

Why play the game? I conceal secrets by telling no one. Why? They are my secrets! If I have "intentions" they’re going to be known in short order, unless you're wasting my oxygen.

If you like to play games, knock yourself out. Personally, I have no need to socialize with a narcissist, so this is a non-player for me. Back when I was in another life, I might have screwed with their mind just to see what would happen, but I don’t play those games anymore. People get hurt.

My advice is just to stay away from them and keep the drama they bring at arm's length.

What things are you extremely good at but don't want people to know?

Interrogation.

Integrity is defined as the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. In your own experience, why does integrity matter?

The Federal Bureau of Investigation is about to find out what being dishonest, immoral, and having a lack of integrity will garner them. Having served almost 23 years in the military intelligence field where a strong moral character, honesty, and integrity beyond question were expected.

Integrity matters because, when you act in a way that puts it in question, free-thinking people become afraid of their own government.

Is it okay to cry in front of your boss?

Not if you’re a man. For some reason, women get a pass on this. So wrong.

“If you cry, it’s worse than if you don’t cry, in terms of me perceiving your competence. But if you cry, saying it is because you are passionate makes me perceive you as more competent than if you don’t say anything, or say, ‘I’m sorry for being so emotional.’”

-- Elizabeth Baily Wolf

Who first stated, "Two wings and a round motor makes a real aeroplane"?

I’ll bet the quote is, “Two wings around a motor makes a real airplane.” A silly quote since four wings seem to be the norm, early on, and any wings are really offset from the motor, not “around” it. As far as the original quote, I’ve never seen a “round” motor. “Aeroplane” dates the quote and/or puts it in Europe. I’m stumped (but, nothing new).

Have many decided to stop answering your questions for asking the same questions and repeating the same topics?

I don’t really mind. I’m not sure they’ve read my answers.

Have you ever criticized someone for reacting a certain way to a situation that you know you would’ve reacted the same to if it was you?

No. I’d pat them on the back for getting there before me. I usually react appropriately, and to criticize someone for an “appropriate” reaction would seem non-supportive to the truth.

What happened in 1912 that made people feel that nothing had really changed since Bloody Sunday?

Home Rule Crisis and the Irish Revolutionary Period.

What are some techniques you have used that helped you successfully study 8+ hours a day without feeling burnt out?

If I was successful at studying 8 hours a day, burned out, or not, I would be more intelligent than I am. As it is, I settle for being really smart and call it a draw since good sense is half the battle. 

“You go on, I presume, with your Latin Exercises: and I wish to hear of your beginning upon Sallust who is one of the most polished and perfect of the Roman Historians, every Period of whom, and I had almost said every Syllable and every Letter is worth Studying.

In Company with Sallust, Cicero, Tacitus and Livy, you will learn Wisdom and Virtue. You will see them represented, with all the Charms which Language and Imagination can exhibit, and Vice and Folly painted in all their Deformity and Horror.

You will ever remember that all the End of study is to make you a good Man and a useful Citizen.—This will ever be the Sum total of the Advice of your affectionate Father, John Adams”

-- John Adams

Do you agree that lower-order needs must be satisfied before higher-order needs?

We’re talking “needs” not “desires” so the more important the need the higher it ranks for satisfaction. I need oxygen because without it I will die. This is a higher-order need. If I relegate it to a lower order, the fact that I’m dead now makes the other needs, like food, clothing, and shelter, moot.

What does political ineptness look like?

Joe Biden. No, wait… Kamala Harris. Well, crap. It’s a toss-up.

Should I bribe my teacher for a better grade?

You’ll have a grade you didn’t earn, and you still won’t be smarter, so what’s the point? You will always know you couldn’t make the grade. Better you try harder and actually earn what you deserve than to pay for something you don’t.

How is a narcissist interview?

As long as it goes their way, probably fine.

Is altruism an extremely effective motivator?

Not as effective a motivator as survival. If you don’t take care of yourself, your altruism is a moot point.

“I told her once I wasn’t good at anything. She told me survival is a talent.”

-- Susanna Kaysen

Has someone ever damaged your capacity to sincerely trust people?

My ex-wife, and my “best” friend. But, karma is a bitch.

Should stupid people be prohibited from procreating or at least be encouraged not to do so?

Yes, in Nazi Germany.

We have the majority of humanity, basically, stupid people, procreating like rats. From the loins of these idiots come many of our great innovators. So, yes, let them procreate and bless them for doing so. Or, we can go back to Naziism and let the idiots bomb us into non-existence. Personally, I like the fact that we’re all free to hump like rats, regardless of intelligence. Just saying.

How do I get the right answer for school?

Study.

What do you do when a family member or friend underpays you for a service?

I show them the contract we both signed. Never do business with anyone, especially family or friends, without a contract. I’ve been asked why I need one. I’ve asked them why they don’t. It is an ethical practice. The fact that they question it brings into question their own ethics, which might just be a good reason to have the contract. Just saying.

What is a job that you can only get based on “who you know”?

Obviously, the Vice-President of the United States and Secretary of Transportation. Neither of them knows squat about their jobs, so they must know people.

"Having a good network can be invaluable. It opens doors for you and allows you to enter into opportunities that are beneficial to your business. In this sense, "who you know" is undoubtedly important, but to me "what you know" is more important because once an opportunity shows itself, it is up to you to make the most of it, and this is down to your knowledge and skill."

-- Richard Branson

How can I go about creating AI art? Can I create anything I envision and infuse my creativity into it?

Wouldn’t “AI art” have to be created by AI? If you create it, well, it isn’t. You can create art from the “subject matter” of AI, however. As a human, you are unrestricted in what you choose to create from reality or your imagination. If AI ever gets around to creating art, you can put your own spin on the technique, but it still won’t be AI art. It will be AI-inspired art.

What is a secret a friend shared with you, but was so funny you couldn’t keep it a secret?

If it was a secret shared, I kept it as such. It is what it is until it isn’t, or you can’t be trusted. Humor doesn’t trump friendship or trust unless you live life with no ethics and aren’t much of a friend.

How should I concentrate more on myself and less on others?

Consider the airline safety briefing before a flight: “Don your oxygen mask first, before assisting the passenger next to you.” If you don’t take care of yourself, how can you take care of others? If you don’t love yourself, how do you think you can truly love others? Take care of yourself first, then you can, more efficiently, take care of others.

Why do we suffer so much but still continue?

Faith in ourselves, and the undying hope that things will get better.

Which scientist’s quote do you find inspiring?

“I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.” — Albert Einstein

Although, this one is very true:

“Two things are infinite: The universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”

-- Albert Einstein

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com