Questioning Patience, Nature, Fear, Lies, and Rudeness

 

“It's dreadful what little things lead people to misunderstand each other.”

-- L.M. Montgomery

 

How can I have patience and stop thinking about something before time?

I constantly work on patience. When I moved to Mississippi it took a while for me to get used to the line at a cash register due to the checker visiting with every customer. It is the “Deep South” after all. It is what people do. So, I learned to talk it up with the person next to me.

If you need patience, you are probably running head to head with that which you have little or no control over, so deal with it in another way.

I told my boss that I'm going to resign, and he offered me a better position if I stay. Should I stay?

Is the position something you want? Taking a better position for a time will allow you to add it to your resume, which is not a bad thing. 

"Tolerance will reach such a level that intelligent people will be forbidden to think so as not to offend fools" Dostoyevsky's prophecy coming true? Do you have examples?

Tolerance for people not purposely being moronic, like the members of the League of the Perpetually Offended. I have much tolerance for fools, I ignore them. We all need to learn how to ignore the perpetually offended.

What would make a person deny realities?

A psychotic break? Narcissism? Spoiled rotten?

Does rectitude in journalism still exist?

It is rare. Because of its rarity, to call it “journalism” is, in itself, immoral, a misnomer, and just plain wrong. All media suffers from idiots editorializing for an agenda that has nothing to do with truth.

“Sooner or later sin and rectitude claim a person”

-- P.S. Jagadeesh Kumar

What are the different circumstances?

Circumstances that aren’t the other.  Hey, this is easy.

Society respects people for their job and in doing so equates a person to his job. John is a lawyer. Mary is a cook. But our job is not us, because we are infinitely bigger. Why doesn't society appreciate people's personalities, for who they truly are?

We shoot for easy, first. He is a lawyer. Is he any good? Is it the kind of law that I need? Mary is a cook. I smelled her kitchen. No. Hell, no. Society does appreciate the individual tree, but we need to know what kind of forest they’re in before we go gathering wood. We find out more specifics after we know what they are.

If nature was a person, what type of complaints would you have against him or her?

Rotten should smell better. But, it smells bad for a reason. Nature is all about reason, so I have no problem passing up rotten when I smell it.

What do you think of the premise "There is no stupid question"?

They never ran into a stupid question. “Is it going to hurt?” There must be a good reason for them asking this. “You’ll only feel a little prick.” So, yes, it’s going to hurt. Needle, skin, probably painful. “Is it going to hurt a lot?” Not a stupid question. For some, a “little prick” is the end of the world. I’ve been around a lot of little pricks, so I know a bit about them.

How do you deal with someone who has many irrational fears?

Making love to her for a few years doesn’t work.  Just saying.

“There are two kinds of fears; rational and irrational - or, in simple terms, fears that make sense and fears that don't. For instance, the Baudelaire orphans have a fear of Count Olaf, which makes perfect sense, because he is an evil man who wants to destroy them. But if they were afraid of lemon meringue pie, this would be an irrational fear, because lemon meringue pie is delicious and has never hurt a soul. Being afraid of a monster under the bed is perfectly rational, because there may in fact be a monster under your bed at any time, ready to eat you all up, but a fear of realtors is an irrational fear. Realtors, as I'm sure you know, are people who assist in the buying and selling of houses. Besides occasionally wearing an ugly yellow coat, the worst a realtor can do to you is show you a house that you find ugly, and so it is completely irrational to be terrified of them.”

-- Lemony Snicket

Which one matters more, to judge or to understand?

To understand. If you don’t understand, how can you stand in judgment?

How are people supposed to tell the truth without the risk of being offensive?

They can’t. Everything can hold risk. Truth can be ugly, it can be offensive, and it can also be uplifting and informative. Sometimes I refuse to say anything for fear the recipient is too immature to take it for what it is - the truth. Better to close your pie hole and not risk offending someone you care about. Now, if I don’t care about them, this is very different.

What will happen if you don't fight your fears?

You will become more fearful.

How do I deal with a perfectionist at work?

Tell them there’s no such thing as “perfect.” Someone will always outdo their effort in excellence and become more excellent. Perfection, on the other hand, cannot be improved upon. Are they human? Then, my point is made.

Can you make the wrong choice even if it's at the right time?

Absolutely! It’s better than making the wrong choice at the wrong time.

“The wrong decision you made at the right time is better than the right decision you made at the wrong time.”

-- Ben Fajemilua

What does it mean when someone says they're dealing with something personal?

It is none of your business. 

How do you act around coworkers who don't like you?

How they treat me says more about them than me. I treat them like coworkers. If they choose to be assholes, it really isn’t my problem.

What does it mean if you feel your boyfriend is lying?

I’m gay?  Oh, and my boyfriend is a liar and can't be trusted.

Is it appropriate to let your boss know when they're talking too much?

Not if you like looking for work. There are times, especially when discussing classified information, you might drop a hint that they’re crossing a line. We have ways to do this that save a bit of the boss’s face.

What do you say if someone says “I know you are lying”?

It’s your opinion. Sucks being you.

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”

-- Friedrich Nietzsche

What is considered rude when talking about your boss?

Anything disparaging is not appropriate in front of people who know them. It is your opinion, and you can be wrong… a second time. And, it says more about you than them.

What does an immature person look like to you?

Always picking their nose, scratching their ass, and whining about every little thing.

What does it mean when you say no but the other person doesn't listen?

They’re about to be thumped in the head. If they aren’t listening, your opinion holds no value to them. Thump them in the head enough and they’ll either change or stop hanging around you. It’s a “win-win” for you.

What do you say when someone makes excuses?

“It sounds as if you’re just making excuses.”

What does it mean when someone says “I don't know if I'm right but…”?

They are qualifying their opinion as being supposition, not fact. More people should learn to do this, especially the people in the news media and politics.

“Any belief worth embracing will stand up to the litmus test of scrutiny. If we have to qualify, rationalize, make exceptions for, or turn a blind eye to maintain a belief, then it may well be time to release that belief.”

-- Laurie Buchanan, PhD

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com