Questioning the "Ugly Truths"

 

“Truth is not what you want it to be; it is what it is.

And you must bend to its power or live a lie.”

-- Miyamoto Musashi (1584-1645), swordsman, philosopher, strategist, writer, rōnin

What are some ugly truths of life?

There will be ugly! There will be sadness, frustration, anger, loss, misery, etc., and there is little we can do about it except to understand it will happen and be able to deal with it and mitigate it when it does. The quicker we embrace this truth, and learn our lessons for each "ugly" that comes along, the sooner we can learn how to be happy always.

Can I gladly accept that people think that I'm pitiful, why?

Why would you want to agree with them? Felling pitiful or wanting others to think you are is a choice. You’re asking the question, so this must concern you. I’d recommend you stop looking, acting, and agreeing that you're pitiful. Make a better choice. Be more than others think you are and stand up for yourself. Never gladly accept that people think you are less than you can be, and certainly never think that about yourself or others.

What plans do you have to avoid the repetition of this situation?

Okay… of which situation are you addressing?

Update:  You recently accepted a supervisory position in another unit of the company in which you work. You were told by your superior that you were offered the job because of your excellent record as a supervisor. That, of course, made you feel good about your work. Several things have happened in the last few days that are causing you to questions your supervisory competence. Perhaps most significant is the fact that what worked to motivate the employees in your last supervisory is falling flat in your new job. In fact, you had the impression that your subordinates were laughing at you behind you back because of some of your motivational “tricks.”

My answer: I found what worked in the military worked in the civilian sector - good communication and knowledge of the job. Never ask anyone to do what you, yourself, are not able to do or are unwilling to do. If they do it wrong be able to show them, and if you don’t know ask them to show you. No one will follow you if they don’t respect you. Have a sit around and ask them what the issues are, and then go about correcting them. Show your people you’re engaged and supportive. Make sure they only have one supervisor - you. If you find they are being tasked by others, stop it. Have their back and they will return the favor.  Buy pizza occasionally.  If this all fails, either your superior was wrong about you, or those under you need to find more meaningful employment.

“It has taken management sciences an incredibly long time to wake up to the fact that for knowledge workers, cognitive engagement is vastly more important than physical presence. And this makes connecting with the ideas hidden within our talent very important, because ideas do what tedious supervision cannot—they raise initiative”

-- Gyan Nagpal, talent strategist, leadership coach

If a person changes their name to hide from their past, does it give them an edge on transforming themselves into a totally different person?

Yes and no. It might give them an edge, but they will be living a lie which is not a good way to go through life. There will always be the chance they will be found out, and then who could trust them? Better to be upfront and let everyone know your past and your determination to change. Better to have honest allies on your honest path.

What do you think about "Age doesn't define who you are but rather experience"?

Age is who you are, experience defines what you know. However, if you’ve been learning what you know your whole life, your advanced age might just define you as the knowledge base.

At what point does making a better and better imitation of something just become making the thing itself?

It will never be the original. There can be only one original, all others are simply copies.

“Do not repeat after me words that you do not understand. Do not merely put on a mask of my ideas, for it will be an illusion and you will thereby deceive yourself.”

-- Jiddu Krishnamurti (1895-1986), speaker, writer, philosopher

Are you willing to be blindly happy?

Happiness is a choice, so I don’t see how one can go into it blindly. Just make the choice to be happy. Get rid of all the drama in your life, which was also your choice since you had to invite it upon yourself, and learn to be happy always. 

What is everything, anything, all things, something, and whatever is it with me and how do I find all of that out?

Read, watch, listen, communicate, and, while doing all of this, learn to be happy always.

I'm in the beginning process of my goal. My friend once used to be close, after so many days break in our friendship, recently insisted of me to reveal my goal. Instead of encouraging, she gives negative feedback about it, lacking any motivation. How do I deal with this?

Stay far away from her. What other people think about your goal is not as important as how you feel about it. There will always be people who would rather tear down your opportunities instead of building their own. Jealousy is insidious. Make friends with those who are nurturing your goal.

"We live in a culture that relishes tearing others down. It's ultimately more fulfilling, though, to help people reach their goals. Instead of feeling jealous, remember: If God did it for them, He can do it for you."

-- Joel Osteen, pastor, televangelist, author

What is the meaning of "apply the seat of pants to the seat of chair"?

Sit down, shut up, and behave.

Is the concept of morality often a dogmatic oversight of what really needs to be done for the greater good of all?

The atomic bombs dropped on japan ultimately killed 70,000 to 135,000 people died in Hiroshima, and 60,000 to 80,000 people died in Nagasaki. However, if the had not been done, the invading Allies might have suffered between 1.7 and 4 million casualties, and between 400,000 and 800,000 dead, while Japanese fatalities would have been around 5 to 10 million.

Sometimes the horror of war, immorality, is to prevent the even greater horror of war. The Allies might have lost 5 million more soldiers, but imagine what Japan would have looked like if it lost 10 million more men in 1945 or 1946. Their country would never recover and world history, economy, etc., would be very much different today.

How do you change your negative attitude (when you can’t change anything else)?

Changing your negativity is a primary step in changing everything else. Start when you first wake up, by thanking God for the gift of another glorious day in paradise and another chance to excel in life. Why? Because the alternative simply sucks. You’ve been given the gift of another day of life, so what are you going to do with it? You have a choice to make, wallow in negativity, or try to make something positive out of it.

People who are positive about life are already winners by being positive. If you seize the day and fail, remember that failure is simply an opportunity to learn. If we never failed, what would we ever learn? The entire reason for our existence is to learn. We must learn the lessons of this life so we may progress into our next. Negativity will simply anchor you in this life until you change your attitude. Learn to be happy always.

“If you think the world is full of darkness, let us see your light. If you think the world is full of wickedness, let us see your goodness. If you think people are acting wrongly, let us see your right action. If you think people don't know, let us see what you know. If you think the world is full of uncaring people let us see how you care about people. If you think life is not being fair to you, let us see how you can be fair to life. If you think people are proud, let us see your humility. We can easily find fault and we can easily see what is wrong but a positive attitude backed by right action in a true direction is all we need to survive in peace and harmony in the arena of life”

-- Ernest Agyemang Yeboah, teacher, author

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as a chaplain at the regional medical center.